The first thing it says in my profile is, "Show me your photo and I'll write back. Mine are recent."
I know from experience that it is soooo NOT safe to meet a guy who won't show you his photo first. I met a guy at a local restaurant once who sent me a picture of himself. He was good looking! When we met at the cafe I was shocked. He looked like a starving, old man instead of the handsome 40 yr old he described!
He said his photo was five years old and he had been sick two years ago and lost a lot of weight. Just from his mannerisms, he reminded me of someone I knew who had been in rehab. I told him when we were leaving that he was a great guy but I was looking for a man who was taller than me, not shorter. He didn't like my decision and stalked me for a few weeks after that.
It's not "shallow" for a woman to want to see who she might be meeting! It's being cautious! Sight is one of our senses we use to size a person up, decide if we should trust them, assess if we should approach them.
Often, men will include a pic of themselves and say in their prof, "I am what I am! If you don't like it, then tough!"
That's why members are doing themselves a great dis-service by wearing a dumb hat, sticking pencils in their nose and striking a goofy pose. Talk about totally blowing a chance to attract a match.
Here is NOT the place to play coy, act dopey, be shy or secretive.... it's a DATING site. You have to be upfront and you have to show a pic; the best one you can post. (If you're interested in finding someone).
In my opinion fotos are not important at all. Of course it's very nice to see how does the person who are you talking with on chat is looking, but only at the begining. My fotos are on line and every one can see them, and it's really ok for my. When you're interested in any person the most important is what the person have inside, what does he/she like, what have in his head...
Good looking is good but only at the bigining... than you can see if the real beauty exsist inside :)
You don't need a photo posted unless you expect others it initiate contact. If you are initiating contact, you can send them a photo privately at that time or post it in spot and tell them where to go find it.
I found that if I let them contact me first, I don't get rejected quite as much. Unless their contacting me to reject me before I even respond, I get that too. It must be my photos so I'm working on more. Or maybe something I worte. So I'm going t add some so I'm not misuderstood. They never say why, you know, just "You''re an ass" or "I just wrote to say I'm not interested."
I get a lot of "I just love your photos. Except that one, it's kind of, you know, almost naked. You have the best damn profile I have ever ever ever read". I just always respond the same: "Thanks Mom". Isn't she the best?
I think photos are important at the beginning of an online relationship. When you meet someone in a coffee shop or where ever you know almost immediately whether you are attracted to them. We meet people to whom we are not attracted everyday. Occasionally you may come, over time, to love/care about someone that was, at first, not attractive to you. When you are starting a relationship online you don't have that option. You know little enough as it is about the person and without a photo even less. My greatest concern personally is that if communication started, continued for a while, and then the photo arrived with the image of someone you are not attracted to - what then? If you feel that you cannot continue in the relationship the person on the other end is very likely going to be hurt. Do you break it off then? Do you continue on the chance that your feelings will change? It seems to me that since dating, romance, and marriage are all so strongly affected by our attraction, or lack thereof, to the other person that seeing the person at the beginning is most like real life and best for both people involved. Being able to judge (as best you can from a photo) whether you are attracted to the person or not will result in more honest (with yourself and the other person) relationships and fewer hurt feelings.