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Opinions on asking for a photo???
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Posted on Wed, Feb 23, 2005 11:18

Texan....Well Darlin, men lie about their age as well. I have received I don't know how many emails stating their real age at least 5 years, some 10 years above what is stated in their profile. Also, if you read some men's profiles, see their body type as athletic, then have a looksee at their pics, I don't know what THEY perceive athletic to be, but it isn't quite the same as "pudgy or fat" or with a belly hanging over their belts. Men lie just as much as women....that's a fact. It's unfortunate, but they'll be found out sooner or later. I personally would rather someone tell me the truth. If they're 55, say they're 55. If they are a few pounds over average, say it in the profile...
I will agree with on one point tho. If I meet someone who I thought was 45, and when we met, they told me they are 55, I wouldn't get huffy and just walk out. That 55 y/o may be the man of my dreams, age be damned. :)



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Posted on Tue, Feb 22, 2005 19:43

Tex, you are wise beyond your years. (and cute, too.)
Annie



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Posted on Tue, Feb 15, 2005 00:06

The first thing it says in my profile is, "Show me your photo and I'll write back. Mine are recent."
I know from experience that it is soooo NOT safe to meet a guy who won't show you his photo first. I met a guy at a local restaurant once who sent me a picture of himself. He was good looking! When we met at the cafe I was shocked. He looked like a starving, old man instead of the handsome 40 yr old he described!
He said his photo was five years old and he had been sick two years ago and lost a lot of weight. Just from his mannerisms, he reminded me of someone I knew who had been in rehab. I told him when we were leaving that he was a great guy but I was looking for a man who was taller than me, not shorter. He didn't like my decision and stalked me for a few weeks after that.
It's not "shallow" for a woman to want to see who she might be meeting! It's being cautious! Sight is one of our senses we use to size a person up, decide if we should trust them, assess if we should approach them.
Often, men will include a pic of themselves and say in their prof, "I am what I am! If you don't like it, then tough!"
That's why members are doing themselves a great dis-service by wearing a dumb hat, sticking pencils in their nose and striking a goofy pose. Talk about totally blowing a chance to attract a match.
Here is NOT the place to play coy, act dopey, be shy or secretive.... it's a DATING site. You have to be upfront and you have to show a pic; the best one you can post. (If you're interested in finding someone).



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Posted on Mon, Feb 14, 2005 17:49

HAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAA Cracking up!!

  


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Posted on Fri, Feb 11, 2005 23:47

1hotmama.....^5 on that one. I totally agree on the kissing. If you ask for a picture and the guy says "Well, I'm not really ugly", I am going to assume that he isn't all that good looking either. I have gotten that line from a few guys, and when they finally send a pic, they are REEEALLY ugly!!! hehehe Just oculdn't see myself kissing that mug!!! :)

  


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Posted on Fri, Feb 11, 2005 17:53

Not just photos, but I prefer a web cam..there is nothin that says this picture is really who you are talking to, but cams cant lie. It is great to see the expression in his eyes, his mannerisms, the cute litte things he does while typing or talking to me...and I know he appreciates seeing me at my best and sometimes worst(mornings b-4 coffee), my home, my dogs etc..nothin says love like the desire in my lovers eyes when I havent even brushed my hair yet! Cams are a must in cyber dateing!

  


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Posted on Fri, Feb 11, 2005 16:28

Thanks Saks......

  


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Posted on Thu, Feb 03, 2005 01:18

My friend hotmama - right on again! Photos are absolutely a must!! So many men say that they are attractive and then you see their picture and OMG, UGGGLLLYYYY

Don't write without a picture is my advice to men!

  


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Posted on Mon, Jan 31, 2005 16:14

1hotmama.. I am also a very visual person. I have gotten some emails that are unbelievable....sweet, complimentary, you know...ALL THAT. Then I ask for a photo. They say "{ I don't have a scanner or digital camera", OR "Trust me, you won't be disappointed".... Well, I have been many times. Like you, I'm not a shallow person, but there HAS to be some kind of spark, so I learned that if there is no photo, there is no communication. I hate to say this, but I have had emails from someone that I wouldn't look at once, let alone twice. We're talking brown paper bag here.. I'm sorry, but it's all in the CHEMISTRY!!!!

  


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Posted on Sun, Jan 30, 2005 22:26

Absolutely TomiGirl.....I won't even chat or email men that won't let me see them. In most cases they are really ugly and hoping that you will like them first and not care about the outside. I am sorry to sound shallow, but I am a very visual person....I have to be physically attracted or it's a no go!

So, don't waste either of our time with no photo or excuses....just send one! :-) Otherwise get off an online dating site!! Online has it's limits and allowing those you wish to get to know, to see you, is the first step.

That's my opinion.....:)

  


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Posted on Sun, Jan 30, 2005 10:29

Hello ;)
In my opinion fotos are not important at all. Of course it's very nice to see how does the person who are you talking with on chat is looking, but only at the begining. My fotos are on line and every one can see them, and it's really ok for my. When you're interested in any person the most important is what the person have inside, what does he/she like, what have in his head...
Good looking is good but only at the bigining... than you can see if the real beauty exsist inside :)



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Posted on Sun, Jan 30, 2005 08:25

Photos are a must in my book. Understand why some don't want them posted with profile (job, family, shy). If a "no photo" person e-mails a "photo person", you should not do it without willing to provide the photo. Also, some photo etiquette: multiple pix, at least one full body shot (so folks can see it matches your self-proclaimed body-type), make the photos recent, multiple settings if possible, and avoid posting photos with your ex in them or only group photos of you.

If no photo or the photo does not depict how the person looks today (i'm not talking a simple hairstyle change), I'd simply cut-off communications or walk out of the restaurant. Same goes for revealing your true age only after you've met in person. (Don't mind unsolicited e-mails from others outside my range to see what we have in common. I do mind lying about your age.)

The counter-argument people make is that others won't consider them otherwise until they know the real them. I say I won't consider you if the communications/relationship began on a lie. If you don't like showing your photo, then only e-mail others who don't show theirs. Speaking from experience....



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Posted on Sun, Jan 30, 2005 04:54

You don't need a photo posted unless you expect others it initiate contact. If you are initiating contact, you can send them a photo privately at that time or post it in spot and tell them where to go find it.

I found that if I let them contact me first, I don't get rejected quite as much. Unless their contacting me to reject me before I even respond, I get that too. It must be my photos so I'm working on more. Or maybe something I worte. So I'm going t add some so I'm not misuderstood. They never say why, you know, just "You''re an ass" or "I just wrote to say I'm not interested."

I get a lot of "I just love your photos. Except that one, it's kind of, you know, almost naked. You have the best damn profile I have ever ever ever read". I just always respond the same: "Thanks Mom". Isn't she the best?



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Posted on Sun, Jan 30, 2005 00:21

I am in agreement with all. Photos are a necessity. If someone won't send a photo right away chances are they are trying to delay as long as possible. If i don't have a photo within the first email i do not continue to write. I don't want to talk to someone who is trying to have a romantic startup and then find out there is absolutely no attraction. In other times the tone of their emails will set the statis of how it will progress. I have met men who write to me and i set the tone of possible romance and have remained friends because we enjoy talking but not in a romantic way. But i still get that picture. It is the one thing that sets the stage for a possible romantic start...

  


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Posted on Sun, Jan 30, 2005 00:21

I am in agreement with all. Photos are a necessity. If someone won't send a photo right away chances are they are trying to delay as long as possible. If i don't have a photo within the first email i do not continue to write. I don't want to talk to someone who is trying to have a romantic startup and then find out there is absolutely no attraction. In other times the tone of their emails will set the statis of how it will progress. I have met men who write to me and i set the tone of possible romance and have remained friends because we enjoy talking but not in a romantic way. But i still get that picture. It is the one thing that sets the stage for a possible romantic start...

  


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Posted on Sat, Jan 29, 2005 19:07

I totally agree. If I "hit it off" with someone without a photo, I sure would like to know what he looks like.. I like to put a face with the person who I'm emailing or talking to on the phone, etc. etc. It's only fair.. You see me, I should see you. I've gotten the :You won't be disappointed, TRUST ME. I DON"T!!! That normally says to me he is NOT all he says he is, and it has been proven to me on several occasions. Simply send a damned photo, and let's go from there. Don't beat around the bush, give me excuses, or say you haven't anything recent. I simply want to see who I'm talking to !!!

  


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Posted on Sat, Jan 29, 2005 12:02

I think photos are important at the beginning of an online relationship. When you meet someone in a coffee shop or where ever you know almost immediately whether you are attracted to them. We meet people to whom we are not attracted everyday. Occasionally you may come, over time, to love/care about someone that was, at first, not attractive to you. When you are starting a relationship online you don't have that option. You know little enough as it is about the person and without a photo even less. My greatest concern personally is that if communication started, continued for a while, and then the photo arrived with the image of someone you are not attracted to - what then? If you feel that you cannot continue in the relationship the person on the other end is very likely going to be hurt. Do you break it off then? Do you continue on the chance that your feelings will change? It seems to me that since dating, romance, and marriage are all so strongly affected by our attraction, or lack thereof, to the other person that seeing the person at the beginning is most like real life and best for both people involved. Being able to judge (as best you can from a photo) whether you are attracted to the person or not will result in more honest (with yourself and the other person) relationships and fewer hurt feelings.

  


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Posted on Sat, Jan 29, 2005 06:37

I totally agree with you....photos are very important!



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