ZEN anyone? let Dating Wealthy Men / Women Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Jul 30, 2005 at 04:50 PM

    Maharishi M-Balz-Iz-Hari's Guide to Zen

    Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just f--- off and leave me alone.
    The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
    The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.
    Sex is like air. It only becomes really important, when you aren't getting any.
    Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
    Remember, no-one is listening until you pass gas.
    Never forget that you are unique, just like everyone else.
    Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
    If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments
    Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them,
    you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
    If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.
    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat
    and drink beer all day.
    Have you ever lent someone $20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.
    If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember a damned thing.
    Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreen.
    Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
    Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.
    The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
    A closed mouth gathers no feet.
    There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.
    Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.
    Never miss a good chance to shut up.
    Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
    We are born naked, wet, and hungry, then we get a smack on our behind. From there on in, life gets worse.
    The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.
    Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.

    Ah! your welcome...don't mention it..
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  • 7Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 09, 2005 at 02:05 PM

    Love your sayings. Had a good laugh. I practice Bikram Yoga.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 03, 2005 at 06:17 PM

    hah, your screen name caught my eye - - one of my email addresses is "witchycats," LOL!

    great post, thanks!
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 03, 2005 at 04:57 PM

    thankyou...glad to be of service...
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 01, 2005 at 05:29 PM

    Been doing zen for many years. Joined to New Yor Zen Society years ago and still have their study tapes.

    Enlightenment is difficult. Learning the zoans takes time.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 31, 2005 at 09:43 PM

    Good laugh! Thanks Kitty.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 31, 2005 at 12:04 PM

    Don't you just love it when someone has the ability to laugh at one's self? Sort of makes the whole trip of life worthwhile. Well done.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 31, 2005 at 11:01 AM

    HA HA HA!! Well done!! You made one person laugh til they cried today!
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