californiabunny write: I'm not going to name any names here. But if a woman has on her profile that she is not interested in meeting a "seperated" or "married" man, then he should not contact and email woman that list on their profile that they are searching for marriage and are not interestd in meeting a "seperated" man or "married" man. This is pre-filled at the top of our profile. It is really upsetting to me that he had the nerve to email me and even try. I am here to meet a single man for marriage and a future together. I brought this to the mans attention that emailed me and his only excuse was, "I just emailed you to say Hi and to thank you for looking at my profile, I didn't email you to harrass you". FIRST OF ALL, I DIDN'T MENTION ANYTHING TO HIM ABOUT HARRASSMENT, HE JUST TOOK IT UPON HIMSELF THAT HE WAS HARRASSING ME. IT APPEARS THIS GUY HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF HARRASSING WOMAN BEFORE WHO ARE NOT LOOKING FOR SEPERATED MEN. AND WHO CARES IF A GIRL LOOKS AT A GUYS PROFILE? HOW ARE WE SUPPOSE TO KNOW YOU ARE MARRIED OR SEPERATED AND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IF WE DON'T LOOK AT YOUR PROFILE. Married and seperated men, STAY AWAY FROM ME!!
These dating sites are filled with married /seperated men looking for one thing only, just let them know your not interested and ignore them. Personally I think they are snakes but thats what makes the world go round. There's plenty of married/seperated women on here too.wink.
Having 3 adult children myself who now travel the world or live in other continents I'd say the greatest "thing" I did on Earth is having children and I'm thankful to my ex-wife for that and will always be.
And with the ONE I wish to find here I wish to have a child (or two) too, because this is when a relationship really becomes meaningful and has a deeper sense.
May I desagree with maybe some pretentious nuances: (geez, it seems i don't go all the time with the flow lol)...First, what is overall important in my opinion is the relatiohship be sane, healthy, whatever the status of the person. Second, I don,t believe i have the right to ask a partner or a potential one to be this and that, with or without children for example. This is to me like asking the person not to be a whole, but just like a half. As somebody put it, i forgot the sn, if the relationship is sane, and if we make a priority, the needed for emotional attention can be fulfilled. So then the question will be: what one person has against children? Nowdays kids need us, maybe more that ever with those nasty divorces...either our kids or those of the others... Another example, as one man told me once - i want tyou but without your cat- wow! If he could not get me as a whole, multidimensionally...(btw- he wanted to control many other things in my life without noticing if i want it or not). Finally, a friend, completelly allergic to animals and huge fear of fliyng in plane, since a kid, met the love of her life- who had animals. Results: allergies dissapeared the most of the time or got under controll, fear of flying disapeard also...oh and they slept in bed with the animals...and traveller a lot by plane.
Oh and I don't remember which big choregrapher many years ago...who feard water like hell...died exactly from his phobia: he drowned in the sea...
So i believe all is not black and white...the reality is mysterious and mayb more complex...if we like to see it...!
May I desagree with maybe some pretentious nuances: (geez, it seems i don't go all the time with the flow lol)...First, what is overall important in my opinion is the relatiohship be sane, healthy, whatever the status of the person. Second, I don,t believe i have the right to ask a partner or a potential one to be this and that, with or without children for example. This is to me like asking the person not to be a whole, but just like a half. As somebody put it, i forgot the sn, if the relationship is sane, and if we make a priority, the needed for emotional attention can be fulfilled. So then the question will be: what one person has against children? Nowdays kids need us, maybe more that ever with those nasty divorces...either our kids or those of the others...
Another example, as one man told me once - i want tyou but without your cat- wow! If he could not get me as a whole, multidimensionally...(btw- he wanted to control many other things in my life without noticing if i want it or not).
Finally, a friend, completelly allergic to animals and huge fear of fliyng in plane, since a kid, met the love of her life- who had animals. Results: allergies dissapeared the most of the time or got under controll, fear of flying disapeard also...oh and they slept in bed with the animals...and traveller a lot by plane.
Oh and I don't remember which big choregrapher many years ago...who feard water like hell...died exactly from his phobia: he drowned in the sea...
So i believe all is not black and white...the reality is mysterious and mayb more complex...if we like to see it...!
Natallia1 write: On my profile is clearly written that I don't want to be bothered by any man who has children, but they always try anyway.. and they get nowhere
I bet that narrows the playing field for you honey, loosen up and enjoy life maybe you'll even meet a man who has enough love in his heart for you like he shares with his children, us fathers arent all bad,wink.
Thank You blonde!!!!! Are you sure you are real??? Im with Bonnie on that...you are almost too good to be true.
Too bad you are so FAR away.
Why is it ALL the good ones are so far?
He-He my lil favorite classy blonde lady, I am not that far away! BTW Darling- Believe it, I am real! As for the too good to be true? That I am also, lol. He-He. Maybe a secret rendezvous is in order here? Take care honey, the other blonde, LMAO babe! You are still too cute honey.
Natallia1 write: You must be kidding... if not then
no, why should I admit that? I don't mind dating a man who is separated, divorced or widower, the only thing that would bother me is that if he had children...
I have yet to meet anyone Id trade for my children. Any woman who says they wouldnt date a man with kids is a lost child themselves.
You meant, she would look like a lost child next to you... didn't you? I don't doubt I'd look like a child next to you. Isn't the generation gap a pain?
Ok Natallia, I mean this in a sincere way. I hope you find that someone special without kids. But at the age you are seeking of a man without them is slim to non existant. Most men of this age bracket will have them darling. If they don't have any kids, beware of that gut feeling- ther might be something wrong with them (Self Centered, Selfish, Mentally Unstable, etc.) I do wish you the best of luck in finding him though. You seem like a sweet, kind, and caring person and should have no trouble in a relationship with him with or without kids. Best of Luck dear!
Ok Mary, I just might have to fly over to you and sweep you off your feet for that last comment you gave me sweetheart, lol. You are still my favorite "Blonde" you know babe! I would have to wonder what our children would have looked like if we would of had any? Toe Heads for sure. lol. And I even venture to say blue eyed too, still lol. Flattery will get you everywhere with me, LMAO darling!
Sharon,
You have a very good point here. Only one thing I do not wish to do right now is the balancing act. I do not think that would be fair to my two boyz. Since I have devoted my life to them right now, I need to stay focused on that only. I can have all the fun I want later in the next few years when they are off in college. And like Mary stated, I can have more fun in my later years to focus on a mate. By then I will have had a friend woh was special that I we can take that friendship to the next level. And wowo, what a level that will be when the chemistry can mix and the sparks can fly- a real boom boom situation then, lol.
Thank You blonde!!!!! Are you sure you are real??? Im with Bonnie on that...you are almost too good to be true.
Too bad you are so FAR away.
Why is it ALL the good ones are so far?
I could assist you if you are seeking a friendship. I am not into the games of relationships or any other part of them. Just a good old fashion gentleman! Seems nobody wants the prelude of a long lasting life long scenario- A "Friendship" before a relationship first. If not, good luck finding that person, maybe look in Texas, I hear there are some really good "Cowboys" (Prize Bulls) down there looking for a good philly, lol. I know a few guys here in Los Angeles with a large pocket book that can give you what you want money wise, but they have a brain the size of a pea.
I hate liers, game players, MALE HOE, slobbs, red necks, and nasty talking drama kings..any real MEN OUT THERE I MEAN, real men, WHO WANT TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE?
Now I have to agree with you last comment 100 percent bro! Thanks, I would not have it any other way either!
And Natallia,
Thanks lil lady. But I am not looking for a lady to be a mother for my boyz, they already have that. I will be looking for a mate for me later after I raise them though. After they are out on their own, I will have a friend that will match me and we can then take that friendship to the next level in a intimate relationship from that point forward. Good luck in your search too!
Thank you Butterflynjax & Sharp for your wise advices, I wish you were my older sisters!!
I agree that men with kids are more secure and settled down. But I also realize that a child should get a full attention and love from both parents. As I haven't been a mother yet, that feeling of motherliness is alien to me so far. On top of that, although my parents are together for already more than 30 years, I feel that I did not get enough affection from them, especially from my mom. Guess, who was the first person who told me I was beautiful and caressed me... it was a man. So, I went through all hard times, shocking experiences and depressions that I find hard to believe, all by myself. It made me stronger but also cooler... I am not proud of that and think I've got it well how the child should be treated, mostly from my mom's mistakes that got under my skin. There are women who possess the innate feeling of motherliness and are great in caring for the children. They would run towards them when they see them, to stroke them. I would just smile at them when I catch their eye and they would smile at me back. Yet I would spend more time playing with a cat !! LOL Maybe my mother feeling will grow when I have my own kids... I hope. So, I think, among those innate mothers there's certainly one suitable for your boys, BlondeLightning.
Natallia1 write: You must be kidding... if not then
no, why should I admit that? I don't mind dating a man who is separated, divorced or widower, the only thing that would bother me is that if he had children...
I have yet to meet anyone Id trade for my children. Any woman who says they wouldnt date a man with kids is a lost child themselves.
Ok Natallia, I mean this in a sincere way. I hope you find that someone special without kids. But at the age you are seeking of a man without them is slim to non existant. Most men of this age bracket will have them darling. If they don't have any kids, beware of that gut feeling- ther might be something wrong with them (Self Centered, Selfish, Mentally Unstable, etc.) I do wish you the best of luck in finding him though. You seem like a sweet, kind, and caring person and should have no trouble in a relationship with him with or without kids. Best of Luck dear!
Ok Mary, I just might have to fly over to you and sweep you off your feet for that last comment you gave me sweetheart, lol. You are still my favorite "Blonde" you know babe! I would have to wonder what our children would have looked like if we would of had any? Toe Heads for sure. lol. And I even venture to say blue eyed too, still lol. Flattery will get you everywhere with me, LMAO darling!
Sharon,
You have a very good point here. Only one thing I do not wish to do right now is the balancing act. I do not think that would be fair to my two boyz. Since I have devoted my life to them right now, I need to stay focused on that only. I can have all the fun I want later in the next few years when they are off in college. And like Mary stated, I can have more fun in my later years to focus on a mate. By then I will have had a friend woh was special that I we can take that friendship to the next level. And wowo, what a level that will be when the chemistry can mix and the sparks can fly- a real boom boom situation then, lol.
I have to agree with your last post almost 100 percent. Except for one thing- The "Children" part. I can say this very proudly, if nothing else two wonderful and beautiful things came out of my marriage- "My Two Boyz"! They are my reason for living now, I love them with all my heart, and I would do anything for them! They come first in my life now too. This is the main reason if you read my profile I have placed in it only looking for friendships. I also stated in my profile somewhere if you read it that I am not looking for a girlfriend, wife, or lover either! I am only looking for "Friendships" period. I think allot of ladies would have a hard time with a man who has children from another marriage, so I see it as my want and obligation to grow my two loves of my life up first then I can think about me and my love of my life (Mate) later after I put them in College! Me Selfish- No. Responsible, Honest, and straight forward- Yes!
That's how it should be...It's not selfish. Kids come first. They are your priority, mine too. Keeping your personal life separate is important. And never letting your personal life interfere with your family life is equally as important. A balance is always possible, but it depends on the person you meet...how receptive they are to one's kids, and how easily they are able to get along with one's kids. It can be like an intricate puzzle.
Natallia1 write: Exactly, BlondeLightning, this is what I thought too, therefore, as I am still young and without kids, I can meet someone also without kids.
Maybe in ten years, if I am still alone, I woudn't be so fussy...
Natalia, I was already married for 5 yrs when I was 30. But if I hadn't been, the thought of meeting someone with kids would not have entered my mind. Their are lots of guys around your age still single, never been married, and no kids. You're beautiful, you'll meet Mr Right one day, and maybe the two of you have kids of your own. No need to be in a rush! Meanwhile, each day is a day to learn about yourself, other people & life! Good luck to you!
Natallia1 write: Exactly, BlondeLightning, this is what I thought too, therefore, as I am still young and without kids, I can meet someone also without kids.
Maybe in ten years, if I am still alone, I woudn't be so fussy...
Natallia...dont pass them up...there are a lot of really GREAT MEN..that have children..and really when you think about it..they are usually a little more settled down than a bachelor would be..like one who is still single and never been married well into their 40's...this tells me that they can not commit...or tay commited to ONE woman..something to think about.
I agree with you Blonde...I too am interested in meeting friends..as Im older and wiser than my younger days when I was looking for that special someone to fill all my dreams...I now realize that to find that,, friendships should be first..and that lasting Love may or may not come out of that.
Natallia....in 10 years you will be pickier...not less picky...you will have more experience and finally know what you want...in the meantime have fun!
I have to agree with your last post almost 100 percent. Except for one thing- The "Children" part. I can say this very proudly, if nothing else two wonderful and beautiful things came out of my marriage- "My Two Boyz"! They are my reason for living now, I love them with all my heart, and I would do anything for them! They come first in my life now too. This is the main reason if you read my profile I have placed in it only looking for friendships. I also stated in my profile somewhere if you read it that I am not looking for a girlfriend, wife, or lover either! I am only looking for "Friendships" period. I think allot of ladies would have a hard time with a man who has children from another marriage, so I see it as my want and obligation to grow my two loves of my life up first then I can think about me and my love of my life (Mate) later after I put them in College! Me Selfish- No. Responsible, Honest, and straight forward- Yes!
Blonde, YOU are a rarity for a CA man..sure you are not from China where widows have to pick peas with chopsticks in the night to distract and overcome their desperate nights of desire?? Good for you :)
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