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Is it better to date of equal upbringing?
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Posted on Fri, Oct 28, 2005 14:03

Growing up as the child of a millionaire, we all know that nice things make our lives alot easier, while I believe in true love, I also believe in dating my equal, someone with the same upbringing. What do you think?
Growing up as the child of a millionaire, we all know that nice things make our lives alot easier, while I believe in true love, I also believe in dating my equal, someone with the same upbringing. What do you think?

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Posted on Sun, Dec 18, 2005 09:25

bobsthename write:
I would have to say no. No one was brought up like me, therefore, I would never have a date.

yyyaaddda,yyyaadddaaa,yyyyaaadddaaa.......



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Posted on Sun, Dec 18, 2005 08:55

I would have to say no. No one was brought up like me, therefore, I would never have a date.



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Posted on Sun, Dec 11, 2005 08:35

First, I think one's conduct plays a major role. You can come from a poor background and through observation of others learn how to speak and conduct oneself in certain circles. Would this person male/female be able to circulate comfortably with your affluent family or friends? Or would this person feel intimidated, therefore, uncomfortable? If NO, that's a recipe for conflict and disaster!

Secondly,are you are willing to take a step down in life? You would have to do this if he did not have the financial capabilities of your parents. It is often possible, particularly when you are younger in your 20's. One can be more flexible and resilient.

If the differences mentioned above are too great...there is no way it will work out. You are on opposite scales. Opposites may attract, but they rarely last!



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Posted on Sun, Dec 11, 2005 07:36

Dating someone of the same background can be BOTH

1) very practical
2) very limiting

It's practical because you'll have less to fight about, because so many things are just presumed. It can be as significant an issue as whether or not to send the kids to boarding school, or something seemingly trivial on the surface, such as whether or not the television belongs in the living room. How much to spend at Christmastime. What qualifies as a "vacation." And so on.

However, it IS limiting. It's so hard to find someone to connect with on a SOUL level, so why make it worse by setting limits for yourself? Certainly, just by being on a site called "millionaire match" puts us ALL in this category unless we're on other dating sites NOT geared toward the financially successful (which, by the way, I AM - - I'm also on plain old Match).

Actually, I think intellect and education are more powerful drivers here. There is nothing more unhappy than a relationship between two people who's brains are not compatible! I have recently made the momentous decision to ONLY date men who's intellects match or exceed my own. It's a lesson I learned the hard way.

On the other hand, I have an "ex" who has recently made the decision to only date women as financially "successful" as himself (even though he inherited it ALL! what nerve!) because he doesn't want to be pressured to financially support a woman. Both of our decisions are extremely limiting. But, to each his or her own . . . .



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Posted on Sun, Dec 11, 2005 03:11

Interesting.....

No right or wrong....just thoughts and opinions....

I think that wealth $ is not the issue...

I think that it is the wealth of the soul and the int elect that make us matches for another...each seeking a partner of similar levels.

We likely will find these matches in the areas we most frequent.

Law of averages?

My theory....I try to be the type of person I would like to attract...

Just another thought...

Lucky!



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Posted on Thu, Dec 08, 2005 22:23

education,money or socalled socail standing,dose not make you better or worst than any other.i have known highly educated people that where idoits,book smart and useless.and those who wrote a check in front of others to look good,thats pompas and stupid. a true success is one who finds love,what dose it gain a man /woman if they gain the whole world and loose there owen soul. some think money is what it is all about,wrong!!! people ,love and true friends. thats what lasts



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Posted on Wed, Dec 07, 2005 07:18

Sounds shallow and narrow minded.



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Posted on Tue, Nov 08, 2005 22:17

sharp1 write:
The person and their inner being which makes up their character is what should be most important to you. How the two of you connect on all levels ... communication, intellect, social settings, passion & compassion...


IMHO, of the verbage in this whole thread, I find those words to be most true...

In college, I met many boys too self impressed with their father's monetary gain. I didn't care who their daddy was and was appauled by their total lack of character and moral fiber. They probably still have lots of money, I ponder if they ever gained the rest...

I did agree with GeminiDi's thoughts on education as well, for it is frustrating to see an easy answer when your partner doesn't understand the question. A similar depth of knowledge enhances the possibility of shared vision.



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Posted on Sun, Nov 06, 2005 16:01

I agree with nice guy looking. I also am a "Nice Guy Looking", but I am a 41 year old gay white man. I was raised in an affluent family of eight children and my father still runs a construction company that builds railroad tracks and repairs them. (along with two of my brothers who will take over after he fully retires). I have 4 brothers and three sisters. We were all loved unconditionally by not only parents, but by everyone who met us because my parents would not allow anything less. By the comment, children should not "use" the success of their parents, you are completely (as my mother would say, God Rest Her Soul...) delusional and crazy and living in some kind of fantasy world, or are too uneducated to even speak about unconditional love because obviously you missed that ship!

We all went to private all boys/all girls college prep. schools/had a house at the shore/mountains/Jamaica and, well we were taught that wherever we existed we were home. If you find that hard to believe, than stop reading. Unconditional love is a fine balance of wisdom/intellect/tact/skill/love/hate/love/love/love/like/dislike/exist/co-exist/harmonize/compliment and love.Wehadrespect/accountability/responsibility/love/admiration/forebearance and patience. It was equal. We were taught how to be siblings without rivalry or bitterness. We didn't hate each other, we all still love each other unconditionally at the ages of 49 to 30, but we differ on some levels and agree with certain relatives (siblings or not) on different levels. We EVEN dislike some of our siblings and/or the things they do or say. However, we would never not stand up and fight to the death for one another like a mama lion protecting her den in the densest of jungles because that is all we know.

We all went to college and had trips to Europe to a country of our choice (and our high schools'). Well adjusted, secure and worldly we all are...and that will always be the final testament about our father and mother who led us. They were pioneers in the midst of naysayers. They were "yes" people when their society and family members were chanting..."no". They stepped up to the plate...woke up in the morning and as my wonderful father says, "put on your shoes and just go to work". We (my brothers and sisters and I) have a volume of sayings, andedotes and quotes that our magnaminous parents instilled in us and now OUR children are living the same life.Learning about a notion of an unkown concept, nary a fictional account of what SOME PEOPLE call "unconditional love" which they never experienced or have the capacity to do so is insulting to one's intelligence. Were the eight of us lucky??? Of course we were and we are the first to admit that. Were we spoiled????? Yes, with love and mutual admiration and respect for a person's existence and presence. Would we do it, or would our parents do "it" all over again? You're damn right we would, because we are right. The Golden Rule is the golden rule whether you come from Harlem or Martha's Vineyard. The rule is "love each other as I have loved you, for we are all children of God". Serve one another with a smile and help a needy person with a vengence because there but for the grace of God go you and I. Care about people. Throw a ball to your son. Wipe the tear of your sister and hug her. Tell your daughter she is beautiful because she IS. Be. Just Be. Because he made us to BE ourselves. Pulla sweater sleeve over elderly person's shoulder. Smile. Live. Love to Live and Live to Love. Don't be false. Life is too short to be cynical and selfish. Honor one another's achievements and grieve with those who have sorrowful hearts. Pick up a piece of trash. Say hello to a stranger. And pray. Pray often and fervently. All our lives are a circle and we are the children making up GOD in this universe as we know it that is a circle. Be Positive.

Live and let live, and let the rest be. Just Be.


God Bless you all and the ones you love.



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Posted on Sun, Oct 30, 2005 09:59

I don't lack for dates, but if you feel that I am not looking for character, then why are "YOU" here? Same reason as myself, you are looking for someone of quality. At the same time, men do not want to date a person who is destitute, same goes for me.
I don't lack for dates, but if you feel that I am not looking for character, then why are "YOU" here? Same reason as myself, you are looking for someone of quality. At the same time, men do not want to date a person who is destitute, same goes for me.

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Posted on Sun, Oct 30, 2005 09:10

It's not that easy question, really...

Nobody likes to be attended for his or her money only, we all wonder "will it be the same if I'll have less money?" I don't mean the desperate people that are ready to "buy" partners' attention, cos they have nothing more to propose, but money. I mean worthy personalities. So dating the EQUAL is some kind of protection and the mutual respect base. At least in the lifestyle.

On the other hand what is the EQUAL? is $20M net worth EQUAL to $2M? I suppose the numbers plays bad here. As long as both are able to lead the comfortable and independent life and are not oriented to "catch the lift" of someone's feelings just for the money, they are EQUAL.

It's by the way common to all good things, not only money: hot body, talent, power, popularity, strength and not trivial, interesting character.

The point here is not being equal, but keeping mutual respect.

IMHO
It's not that easy question, really...

Nobody likes to be attended for his or her money only, we all wonder "will it be the same if I'll have less money?" I don't mean the desperate people that are ready to "buy" partners' attention, cos they have nothing more to propose, but money. I mean worthy personalities. So dating the EQUAL is some kind of protection and the mutual respect base. At least in the lifestyle.

On the other hand what is the EQUAL? is $20M net worth EQUAL to $2M? I suppose the numbers plays bad here. As long as both are able to lead the comfortable and independent life and are not oriented to "catch the lift" of someone's feelings just for the money, they are EQUAL.

It's by the way common to all good things, not only money: hot body, talent, power, popularity, strength and not trivial, interesting character.

The point here is not being equal, but keeping mutual respect.

IMHO



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Posted on Sun, Oct 30, 2005 08:11

Good comments Gemini & Niceguy...
Cup...I perceive the same impression as they, just by your useage of the word "EQUAL" and the fact that you wrote it in caps to emphasize that.

The person and their inner being which makes up their character is what should be most important to you. How the two of you connect on all levels ... communication, intellect, social settings, passion & compassion...
Good comments Gemini & Niceguy...
Cup...I perceive the same impression as they, just by your useage of the word "EQUAL" and the fact that you wrote it in caps to emphasize that.

The person and their inner being which makes up their character is what should be most important to you. How the two of you connect on all levels ... communication, intellect, social settings, passion & compassion...



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Posted on Sun, Oct 30, 2005 02:54

cup, it sounds to me that you have put a condition on "Dating", he must have as much money as you. If thats how you judge who you will go out with, you might be dateless for awhile.

IMHO, you date people who have good character.
cup, it sounds to me that you have put a condition on "Dating", he must have as much money as you. If thats how you judge who you will go out with, you might be dateless for awhile.

IMHO, you date people who have good character.



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Posted on Sun, Oct 30, 2005 01:08

In my post I said date your "EQUAL" that means I have worked very hard for all that I have, through the encouragement of our parents drive to succeed which produced nine children who I might say are all successful, it can be difficult to settle for less. Love is altogether a different story.
In my post I said date your "EQUAL" that means I have worked very hard for all that I have, through the encouragement of our parents drive to succeed which produced nine children who I might say are all successful, it can be difficult to settle for less. Love is altogether a different story.

  


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Posted on Sat, Oct 29, 2005 17:21

cupcake28 write:
Growing up as the child of a millionaire, we all know that nice things make our lives alot easier, while I believe in true love, I also believe in dating my equal, someone with the same upbringing. What do you think?


By the post you made, I believe you are not looking for true love. You have put a condition on love, and that will Never work. Either it is true unconditional love or it isn't !
IMHO, conditional love is dombed right from the start.

Money and Material goods mean nothing in love. I have known many rich people who wouldn't pi** on you if you were on fire, and I alot of poor people who would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it.

Love comes in many forms and to be a loving person you need to have, passion, compassion,
character, patients etc.. and most of all a great heart ! and all of this has absolutely nothing to do with money.



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