Borderline Personality Disorders Message Board

  • View author's info posted on Aug 02, 2006 14:28


    Wikipedia encyclopedia has a great discussion on borderline, including a discussion of The NonBP, or counter-Borderline, which is a discussion of people drawn into the borderlines problems.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2006 23:04


    Lombard,
    I am wondering if maybe your son doesn't have ODD, If you haven't already heard and read about it please do. And 13 medications some or all of them may have side affects that will contradict one another and may..make his symptoms worse. It is a roller coaster ride when you have children with mental illness's and nobody truly understands unless they go through it. And let me just say this to others whom have a tendency to blame mental illness on choice ~NOBODY I repeat NOBODY would chose to ever wake up everyday and feel that kind of torment that goes on within them, our children want our acceptance and approval so it would be contradictory to a child's emotional needs to be nurtured as a matter of instinct to purposely sabotage that. Who ever has an opinion that people chose their own behavior is correct for people that do not have a mental illness to an extent. My point to all of you that think you know what you are talking about when it comes to people with mental illness disorders is this, simply refrain from talking about things that you do not know about. Lombard I just want to add that you have endured, along with your ex a long life of hardship, and probably happiness,that's what makes it difficult if it were a case of not giving a dam then it would be easy to walk away but it takes real work mentally, physically and financially to care for a child and raise them to be the best that they can be. Parenting is an exhaustive and sometimes thankless job. children are not born with a guarentee to be perfect and if anybody goes into parenting with that expectation then they should not take on the lifelong job that follows. I would like to know how your son does and how you are doing to cope. keep in touch.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2006 11:13


    Bob

    I have not said im an expert. But what i will say is that you yourself inflicted pain and suffering on others too. Your excuse was you had a partner with BPD.

    On another level for example

    If your girlfriend had hit you as in phisically hit you over and over, would that be an ideal excuse for you as an adult to go onto hit, phisically assault another person?

    Do you not understand the difference between right and wrong?

    Or do you just find it acceptable that because you say your ex partner abused you that you then had a right to abuse others? but what you done to others was and is acceptable because you felt you were abused?

    Or is there one rule for you and another rule for your ex partner?
  • View author's info posted on Aug 01, 2006 11:02


    bobsthename write:
    Teresa where is your proof that 74% of untreated BPDs kill themselves? You are dangerous with the nonsense you are putting out. Compassion comes in the form of boundaries. And the victims of BPD have every right to express their anger and frustration in the people who are causing the pain. I'll ask you again to post your source of 74%. You can't. So don't purport yourself to be an expert.


    Bob unlike you i have researched this avidly and it is rare for you to get BPD from a partner with BPD. i would be intrigued as to whom the therapist was that you attended to help you with your own disorder? you were cured so quickly, 2 yrs wasnt it? how long did you say you dated this woman for? How long did you say you were an abuser to others from the disorder you got from the partner you was with?

    I may not be an expert because its not my profession but i do deal and have dealt with victims of abuse for many years and of course i have seen the complications that arise from BPD but if you were able to understand it for what it is, then perhaps you might try to understand it.

    I dont proclaim to be an expert but at least i dont proclaim something that is not in fact true.

    You wanted an excuse for your partners issues, now lets look at yours.

    Danger comes from those who feel the need to make excuses, it does not come from those that try to help. Because those that try to help, undo the damage done by those who have a need for excuses.

    What is it about you men that fail, that need to have someone to blame other than yourself?
  • View author's info posted on Jul 30, 2006 17:37


    MakingAWish write:
    Forget the compassion...have very strong boundaries and stick to your guns. It is amazing how many people are used by these people. Some of them chose to stay the way they are and not get help. They suck in people with pitty for their illness. You have to lay things on the line so there is no doubt where you stand with these people.

    Mental illness are genetic, and it doesn't skip a generation. Everyone gets a little bit of the seed. Some can function just fine in society, and others need help. 2 Bipolar parents having a child stands an 80% chance of having a BP child.

    The one that has written a book is giving out wrong info, and is most likely a nut herself.

    My hat goes off to the parents that try really hard with their kids. The sad part is having an adult child who will not help himself and there is not much you can do.


    Your ignorance is not bliss.

    You said your hat goes off to the parent that tries really hard with their kids. Now tell those same parents that when their kids grow up still unwell that your going to be the one who persecutes their child as an adult.

    Did you think those children are like peter pan and never grow up?

    I am proud to care for people and that doesnt make me a nutter. That makes me human.

    You ought to try being one sometime.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 30, 2006 15:26


    shame on you all.

    I knew a 16 year old girl who suffered BPD due to spending her life being sexually abused and raped. She threw herself under a train in london because some ignorant piece of **** told her she was a mental case and worthless and that no one would ever accept her. So she went to london underground, and she literally just threw herself under a train because she thought she was doing society a favour.

    I was furoius because i felt like throwing the man that told her that under the train for his ignorance.

    An 18 year old young man hung himself on a tree on wanstead common in east london because someone kept telling him he was a freak and he was deranged all because he was too scared to leave his little flat and he too had BPD and has suffered serious sexual abuse from his father. He couldnt cope with how people treated him and he didnt want to be a freak any more.

    Thats the damage ignorant people do and as if they didnt suffer enough from the ignorant ones that abused them in the first place.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 28, 2006 21:37


    Forget the compassion...have very strong boundaries and stick to your guns. It is amazing how many people are used by these people. Some of them chose to stay the way they are and not get help. They suck in people with pitty for their illness. You have to lay things on the line so there is no doubt where you stand with these people.

    Mental illness are genetic, and it doesn't skip a generation. Everyone gets a little bit of the seed. Some can function just fine in society, and others need help. 2 Bipolar parents having a child stands an 80% chance of having a BP child.

    The one that has written a book is giving out wrong info, and is most likely a nut herself.

    My hat goes off to the parents that try really hard with their kids. The sad part is having an adult child who will not help himself and there is not much you can do.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 27, 2006 07:06


    Bob, you hadnt even heard of DBT or CBT therapy which is a common method used to treat BPD and yes it is curable.

    Like i said before, you will need to buy my book in 2007 and im sure it will give you all the answers your looking for eh!

    Can you tell me the difference between a BPD sufferer and a mentally ill sufferer?

    Because there is a difference.

    I await your response Bob
  • View author's info posted on Jul 26, 2006 19:05


    PS wwww.123456

    No one seems to of told you that

    BPD IS CURABLE

    Doesnt that then make your post on your excuse for so many threads, contradictory?
  • View author's info posted on Jul 26, 2006 18:59


    Hi Lombard

    You should be proud of yourself and what you do for your child.

    I admire anyone in your position for your strength and compassion and for being such a good parent. You have every right to feel frustrated for what is beyond your control.

    Do you get any support?
  • View author's info posted on Jul 26, 2006 18:22


    wwww.123456

    You are a classical non carer of anything. You seem to struggle with accepting people for who they are regardless.

    You may want a perfect world but you are not perfect and i am sure you have things people cant stand about you but never the less you are who you are and its about accepting others as they do you and all your flaws.

    Your the sort of man who would make a great executioner and i dont think thats an asset in a man. And should be a warning signal for any woman.

    Your excuse for having so many posts up is not an excuse because you are obsessed with the persecution of those you find "different"
  • View author's info posted on Jul 26, 2006 07:42


    Hi Bob,
    I can totally empathize with your experiences with the lady who has bpd.
    I had a similar relationship...on and off...for a five year period.
    Key words are - MANIPULATION,LYING,LACK OF EMPATHY,BRILLIANT ACTORS,INFIDELITY,
    OBSESSIVE AND CRUEL.
    I have to say I too have never experienced anything like it...a rollercoaster....and you keeping going back for more...until I decided calmly to walk away forever.Not easy when you are dealing with the bpd as you well know.I also decided to begin healing by spending time in a peaceful setting alone....surrounded by natural beauty.Bob, I do not regret my relationship and wish the best for my ex bf.We had some fantastic times together.
    Bob you will come to the total realization that this lady is not capable of an honest,loving and committed relationship.PERIOD.People in general have no idea of how much havoc this disorder can wreak on your life.I am a kind,caring and compassionate woman but I had to make a choice and put my own wellbeing first.
    Bob I wish you all the best.
    Mmmmmmm2002
  • View author's info posted on Jul 25, 2006 14:34


    wwww was asked on another thread:

    "Why do you start so many threads on personality disorders?"


    wwww replied:

    "Because I believe that certain personality disorders cause most of the troubles in the world, and that people need to learn to spot them in business and in their personal life.

    We also need to help people with the non harmful ones, such as depression, because they are often in danger and can usually be helped with meds."
  • View author's info posted on Jul 25, 2006 11:54


    Hi Mariana

    Its nice to see your showing compassion and trying to at least address his issues without condemnation. Liars are common practice for most and they normally come in the form of men on date sites.

    How often do us women come across a man that says everything they think we want to hear? almost all the time and for those of us that are not gullable, we question those men and they trip themselves up. Women naturally then go off and think about what the man has said whilst the man doesnt give it a second thought because he assumes we believe him and off he goes without a care in the world. And before we know it he is telling porkies/lies so often we find it hard to believe anything he says. That situation can often lead to women starting to feel insecure because when a man is caught out lying he then blames the woman and tells her she is imagining it or "mad" lol Then for some reason we question ourselves. Why do we do that?

    Come on ladies, how many men say the women they have dated have personality issues or mad? most of them. Thats their answer for everything. Then the men tell all their mates your "mad" too, just because you have a mind of your own. And before you know they all want you in a straight jacket when all you done was said "no" to them or not play ball.

    And RRed if you believe bob then fool for you because your asking a man who himself has been mentally unstable. Hardly the best character witness eh or justified help for your sister? What do you think you can do to help? run up to every man that finds your sister thrilling and exciting, tell them she is "mad" ????

    Out of interest RRed does it bother you that your sister can attract men despite her BPD and you find you cant get the same reaction from men without an issue?
  • View author's info posted on Jul 25, 2006 11:34


    Teresa2084, you are making a fool of yourself. Your posts are not very entertaining, informative, helpful, or educational, -- which are needed on threads like this one.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 25, 2006 10:47


    And by the way

    If anyone has any issues here it has got to be wwww.12345 hasnt it because he is more than obsessed with disorders and has so many threads up now that im suprised he can keep track of them all.

    Or doesnt obsession count as a disorder?

    I guess its one rule for one and another rule for those making the rules as they go along.

    It amazes me that one man has a BPD himself and he still has it regardless of what he proclaims on being cured its that obvious and yet he makes excuses for blaming it onto his ex whom i might add got it because of someone else but yet her problem doesnt matter because bob says so, and then we have RREd here discussing her sister without her consent and sees bob as the saviour to all her sisters needs and yet her need to find out what bob gets up to makes no difference to her sister at all. Then we have wwww.123456 who is more obsessed than anyone with any compulsive or personality disorders to the max which indicates he too has issues.

    Hmm interesting eh!

    I have an obsession, i am obsessed with counceling people from all walks of life, kids, adults both men and women and Im also obsessed with my 15 cats.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 25, 2006 10:42


    If I had a sister that I knew would hurt people and destroy lives, I would let the world know it. That goes for any relative or anyone else I even know.

    so sue me.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 25, 2006 10:02


    123456

    for someone who makes out he knows so much, you know so little.

    it would seem that mens ability to blame those other than themsleves goes to show why you are single.

    Have you ever considered to stop making out because you have money that you are not so issue free?

    Because if you were so loving and kind or compassionate, none of you could be bothered with all that money you say you make to simply get counciling for anyone you proclaim to have feelings for. therefor you are not into that person on a feelings basis, your into that person for all the wrong reasons and to blame them for what is possibly also your mistake. No man is so perfect he doesnt contribute to a persons problems. So lets not kid ourselves shall we. Im under no illusuion but clearly you are and think your perfect when your far from it. You just look for excuses. Men are so fickle that to compare a woman to a war veteran with the same personality issue, the man would string up the woman and and put a medal on the war veteran.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 25, 2006 02:53


    bobsthename write:
    RR, what is the ugly dark side that you see?

    bob, the angry, ugly side and her actions during this period are things
    I'd rather not talk about publicly.
    Have you seen this woman "crash"? Those not taking their meds will - it's just a matter of when. Think about it and if you really want to know, drop a private e-mail and I'll talk about it off line if you promise to keep it private.
  • View author's info posted on Jul 21, 2006 16:55


    Bob, thanks for the man's view. I guess the signs are just more obvious when you've known the person for so long than it does to the unsuspecting person. You describe (a part of) that sister to a tee. I'll bet there's an a very angry, ugly side too that (as I) choose simply not to divulge to the world at large.

    Teresa, PLEASE do me a personal favor and stop asking me such ridiculous and antagonistic questions.

    Lombardy's situation is very different from either mine or Bob's situation. Further - and more importantly - he knows my compassion toward his situation and as a person in general.
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