in this case, she told me she was diagnosed with MPD (Mixed). I read the traits of BPD, and she scores pretty well on the BPD qualifications which consist of having 5 symptoms from a list of I think 9.
Anyway...I don't believe one can have understanding or compassion for this illness whi is affected by it, because basically the individual with BPD consistently brings down everyone around them. So if you try and help, you get your head handed to you in their black and white world. How is a mate supposed to tolerate the relentless infidelity without themslves becoming mentally ill?
griffyncalf write: DUDE are you kidding me? BPD is a serious illness that needs compassion and attention. Women with this dis-order need help and meds to fly right. Bringing on the BPD offer is a sick mockery of a serious illness. I had the experience of being with one for a year. Yes the sex is great when its available but the cost is huge to the bpd. They always feel like they will be dumped, have a bottomless pit of need and you can never really make them happy. What do you desire about that? Sex is so mental and you want to take advantage of a mentaly challenged girl. Shame on you dude.
Very good advice, griffy. When I posted on this thread (so long ago now) with similiar, but not as specific advice, I was virtually roasted. It is refreshing to see a man who has lived it, understands the darker side and responds as stable man w/should.
At that time, Bob, I believe you were making light of women with BPD...yadayada sexisgreat....but now I see you're realizing the darker side. Question again is: What are you going to do about it? Choices: 1) Play her game - for ev er or 2) Leave it behind for ev er? I've seen the "nice" men fall for my sis (not the one in my profile pics) like that. It does not end and I always found myself questioning what is wrong with the man who would put up with that behavior? Surely, there is a disorder of some name involved.
It sounds to me that those refering to their relationship problems assume it is BPD causing that sort of behaviour because there needs to be a reason and lets face it, more often than not we all pick out the worst points about someone when we split up with or want to split up with them and its blown up out of proportion. Its that way because it makes it an easier transition for us to break away. Human nature.
Not every woman is all goodness and light just as many men are not either and that sort of behaviour isnt just associated with BPD as "normal" people have lots of behaviour issues too as it is part of human nature.
It is cruel and destructive for men to have afairs but they still do it and dont care of the damage it causes but thats not BPD. Men who control women or beat them, that is not BPD.
War heros also have similar symptoms & suffer BPD after and yet they are not judged the same way perhaps because society has made allowances and sees them as heros and yet you seem to find it too easy to condem a woman with BPD and many are abused as children. Do you not have the same understanding for a survivor and give her the same support you would do if it were a war hero just because you know about war but nothing about child abuse survivors?
Women are more supportive to partners with BPD because they take time to care and consider the other persons needs.
Women with PMT, thats not BPD. Women with post natal depression, thats not BPD and yet they have similar symptoms and yet we hear the same stories from the men about them too and make it an excuse to get out and yet they do not address their own issues as to the way they deal with those problems because they simply dont care to find out and help.
We could associate much of the behaviour being mentioned to many other people too who are not considered to have any kind of disorder.
Im also assuming that the ones being mentioned have been diagnosed as having BPD? or are you just guessing?
griffyncalf, you are right on - it is no contact. I guarantee I'm not going to contact her again. but I know she will come out of the woodwork in the future. you just don't know when a BPD will do a 180. could be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. They should lock BPD's up and throw away the key...the economic and psychological cost to society from one of these mentall ill people is horendous. Certainly in my case, millions and millions of dollars have been lost as I was unable to effectively work for the past two years...I sold a business for $23 million, a nice profit in anyone's book, but I know if I didn't have this psycho nutcase in my life I would have paid more and better attention to the deal and got closer to $40 for it. Never mind the psychological damage she caused my friends and family, her ex (not an ex now) family and friends and her own. No one in my circle of life lives ever created the chaos and destruction that this one person does. The impact and damage was so far reaching...
You are absolutely right, no contact. Let IT destroy other peoples lives, not mine and the people I care about. As an aside, she wears Prada sunglasses...at least there is something funny in this.
dude the only way for you to recover is to have no contact at all. She is in you and will torment you for as long as you let her. You will not be able to love another until you allow yourself to heal from her destuction. Remember no contact!
I have this on again off again girlfriend that I believe is BPD...certainly PD of some type. Anyway, she constantly barges into ones life and ping pongs back and forth with her ex. Joke is - he's not her ex anymore...for the 50th time. I've gotten to the stage of numbness to this. Problem is, I meet someone interesting or nice, and I end up losing that girlfriend for good (my choice - I don't want to be with two women at once which is not fair) for a week or two of BPD heaven (which then turns into BPD hell). Everyone thinks she is a joke now, and some people have now said to me that they will no longer associate with me if I take her back. I feel like I'm addicted to this destructive behaviour...for a short period of a fairy tale life, followed by the BPD hammer - false accusations of conspiracy and cheating, lieing/deceit, to achieve and manipulate towards a goal of chaos and repetitive self destruction...followed by my angry uncharacteristic outbursts. I find myself, yet again, in a position of being with an amazing woman that everyone around me really, really likes...but without enough time to really get captured by her, I fear that my mentally ill GF will simply jump into the fray, for the 50th time, and take over. Moreover, my new GF keeps her boat on my docks, and the next episode could make for an interesting new PD drama...
DUDE are you kidding me? BPD is a serious illness that needs compassion and attention. Women with this dis-order need help and meds to fly right. Bringing on the BPD offer is a sick mockery of a serious illness. I had the experience of being with one for a year. Yes the sex is great when its available but the cost is huge to the bpd. They always feel like they will be dumped, have a bottomless pit of need and you can never really make them happy. What do you desire about that? Sex is so mental and you want to take advantage of a mentaly challenged girl. Shame on you dude.
OMG She took the advice and came to find a doctor. Did she post the same thing in every thread? Dr. Barbie (if I may call you that), do you have something strong to prescribe this broad? Thorazine comes to mind. Or is that for another type of disorder? Sorry Im drug illiterate. sheeesh!
The biggest personality disorder.....is Envy.....
The in ability to look at oneself and right what is wrong.
People having to totally ignore the fact that....they need help......but think that everyone else is wrong......and they are right!.
got your email requesting a picture- I took you for an adventurous one- I guess there are always safety measures-I think I am way to normal for you-too old, but younger than most 38 out there. I thought I would get bonus points for being able to drive a 4 wheeler and snowmobile (bobcat, tractor and a few other things also)
bobsthename write: Because there ain't no finer women out there than BPD women. How exciting they are to be with! I guess I'm addicted...
You cannot be serious?
Are you saying this because you also may exhibit the same personalty traits?...Kidding
Bob you should not take light of such a condition trust me. My heart goes to people that have to deal with loved ones with such a condition...There is no fun to gain living or partaking in that lifestyle.