If a woman hasn't latched on over a lengthy time, they will always be just friends. It is said that a man's sex drive is much greater than a women's, if he hasn't found the intimacy he will look elsewhere, yet keep you as a friend. Further I don't believe a friend is just "in waiting" -- yes, waiting for anyone. Most men won't turn down the offer of sex, that's the make-up of a man. He needs sex, that why men masturbate and women can go month without it. I've had friends who were straight but gone gay because they couldn't find a women. Men cheat on their wives if the man is cut off. Sex is an important part of life. Some men become cancer when they can't release themselves. The Lord wouldn't have man that way if it wasn't meant to be. And if man could control himself better than Laws would have been past by now that man needs to abstain. Enough said.
Were all sex addicts LOL
Physical attraction is easy. Friendship builds trust and respect. It allows two people to get to know one another first. It does not mean fireworks aren't going off inside of the two people. It just means that taking things one step at a time helps to establish a foundation and friendship on which to build a healthy, mutually respectful love of each other. Doesn't everyone want to wake up to their best friend every day? Intimacy requires full on letting go of all fears. That does not happen with strangers. That is what best friends and soul mates are for. How can my soul mate blow my mind, heart, and soul with excitement and amazement if I cannot trust him to be my best friend? Maybe it is that I know what I want and want to give that makes me sure that I want to enjoy someone as a friend always and forever. It should not be complicated. Life is simple. Enjoy each other and let nature take its course.
My question to Orlando would be, wouldn't a woman using seduction be a form of manipulation? Further, asking him to sleep with you doesn't necessarily equal automatic boyfriend status.
I think generally you are right about men just waiting for the chance but I do not think the same holds true for women. If a women is your friend and is not making gaga eyes at you, especially right away, then the likelihood of her wanting more is probably non-existent. Women are not generally subtle, although men can be oblivious, but I think that just comes from an overall difference between the male and female perspective. Men are more direct, women are more indirect, but neither on generally subtle when it comes to romantic feelings. I think the more time that passes and a woman hasn't latched on, then she will always just be the friend.
Not to say that it is impossible for long-lasting, solid and beautiful relationships to develop from strong friendships between the two. I just think it is more unlikely to happen than two people who are attracted to each other from day one.
I have asked this question of women many times who had a number of male friends: "If you were to go to your friend and express how you have been wanting to sleep with him, would he do it?" Nearly all answer "yes, they would sleep with me." That tells me a male "friend" is really only a "boyfriend in waiting." But I digress. Should we be friends first. It makes sense. I do think that if someone is a friend too long then the romance never buds... or if they have romance after a long friendship, the friendship seems to fall apart. So, I have mixed feelings but lean to the friendship side.
I think that friendship should always come first- at least if you are looking for a long-term relationship.
How many times do you meet someone who seems wonderful only to find out about a month later that you aren't as compatible as you thought? It seems to me if it starts out as friendship there is less pressure and there is the possibility of staying friends even if things don't work out romantically.
I'm certain everyone is different.. but for me.. NOPE.. AINT HAPPENIN.... WHY? Because if I am attracted to him, I've already slept with him.. My score sheet is filled w/ men I should have waited to develop a true friendship with first... (I'm working on it though.. It's a personal issue for me.. ) My score sheet is also tallied w/ lots of men who have been "waiting for me to say yes... tho we are just buds...") I'm extremely visual and chemistry rules me.. But as I said.. I am working on it and hopefully one day I can learn to make friendship be the center of the relationship and not the physical. And yes.. I think I was meant to be born with balls... KEEPIN IT REAL! :)
Men who are friends with women, for the most part, are just waiting for an opportunity to be boyfriends. All a woman has to do is ask your male friend, as seductively as possible, if he would sleep with you. If he says "yes" then he was just a male friend in waiting.