This is one that I do not see mentioned here, so I thought I would see if anyone has any experience with it. I have it and it has made it impossible for me to get into relationships. I have never been close to being married and it does not look like it will ever happen. The truth is that I have worked hard to overcome a lot of my evident tendencies, but now it seems to be too late. When I was younger women would act interested in me all the time, but I was too avoidant to even date. Now I do not seem to be the kind of guy that women are interested in.
Interesting story. I do not really do dating sites, but I like the ones with forums. Typical avpd behavior I guess. I can't remember how I heard about this site, but I thought it might be interesting to put up my story and see what happens. I had actually just about forgoten about this site when you e-mailed. Looks like you have to join and pay them $20 to send a real message. Or we can talk here for the whole world to see. That sure is interesting. But nobody knows who I am. I hope. It seems to me that you have to be normal in this world.
It would be interesting if someone else would respond and we could see what "normal" people think. I wonder if anyone knows someone who is somewhat aloof. Do they think that person is a jerk? I used to get that kind of feeling in school. But I think the avpd made me mature a bit faster though.
Tried to reply to your wink, which I got via email, in this forum, but it wouldn't post it, maybe because i put in a photo so you know who this lady a million miles away who gets it is, but the post didn't work. If this one does, I will try to post what I was going to say, again. How crazy is this, given that I found this site by accident when looking for something else, and had no intention of getting involved in a dating site.
Hi avpd, I get it, and I have it too, although I'm not sure if you and I have a disorder or are simply more realistic and less shallow than many of those people who have had a million more dates than us. Although not shy when I trust, and when I am singing on stage (which I did for a living for a while), I have always run a million miles from men who try to meet me in bars or anywhere for that matter. All my friends/extended family etc are astonished as to why I am still single, given that (they say) I'm pretty special on a lot of levels, eg. visually, in terms of my accomplishments, in terms of my big heart, and in terms of my sense of humour. But I guess I avoid people who come up to me and say hello because I have no way of knowing their real intentions, or whether or not they are psychos or users etc, and could spend my whole life going out once with such men rather than getting on with the stuff I want to do, which tends to be fairly solitary! eg. i study (finishing a Phd), I work hard, I practice my singing, I write music, I think, I learn, I work out at home because I hate gyms, and I spend time with my family and a few close friends. I think maybe you are yang, like me, whereas a lot of people are yin, in so far as they need stimulation from external (human) sources to be happy, whereas we get it from within, and maybe from our philosophy of life, a few close friends, and, god willing, one significant other.
I think we borderline avoidant types are often hidden gems who are capable of loving deeply and giving all, but who have learnt from experience that they would perhaps prefer to be existing on another of Einsten's dimensons. A hug from a kindred spirit x