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Women over 40 true facts..funny
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Posted on Sun, Jul 23, 2006 17:41

This is for all you girls 40 years and over....and for those who are turning 40,
And for those who are scared of moving into their 50's...AND 60's..
And for guys who are scared of girls over 40!!!!

Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all.
Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask,"What are you thinking?"
She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit
Around whining about it.She does something she wants to do.
And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is,
What she is, what she wants and from whom.
Few women past the age of 40 give a hoot what you might think about her
Or what she's doing.
Women over 40 are dignified.They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the
Middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course,if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you,
If they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.
They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends.
A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend
Because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 Couldn't care less if you're attracted
To her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
They always know. A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick.
This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two,
A woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest.
They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one!
You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a
Bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say,"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", here's an update
For you. Now 80% of women are against marriage, why?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.



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Posted on Mon, Oct 10, 2011 11:28

Quoting robtest:

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly: Because they are so grateful!!



So maybe I should be carrying a basket to use when I deem necessary,lol. A big, thick basket. Yeah, that's the answer!



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Posted on Sun, Jan 10, 2010 13:44


Hi Auburnhair,

 

I absolutely love that.

How true it is and how sad that men dont realise what a great catch we are.

Too bad they have to learn the hard way...then again it serves them right..LOL



 



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Posted on Sat, Apr 14, 2007 21:15

Women over forty will be there when you die...maybe even pray for you.



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Posted on Mon, Feb 12, 2007 11:24

I LOVE IT!!!



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Posted on Sun, Jan 21, 2007 09:18

Don't EVER!!!! try to bluff a woman over 40.......We know every trick in the book plus.



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Posted on Mon, Aug 07, 2006 14:10

Wow, you sure beat that to death. Women over 40 are great because they know what they like, ask for it and get it more often than not. Plus they've got their own everything and won't take a bite out of my food rather than order her own!!



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Posted on Sun, Jul 30, 2006 04:20

LOL Yes Dan "the rabbit replaces the sausage" Love that one



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Posted on Fri, Jul 28, 2006 03:13

Hi Auburnhair.
I agree entire about what you say about older women, i think they in the main are more self assured than younger girls. they have a deeper knowledge of their bodies and exude a powerful sexuality. And as many are business woman these days they don't need to buy the 'pig' as they bring home the 'bacon' and a 'rabbit' can replace the 'sausage' while the 'pigs' out getting the milk from udder places



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Posted on Wed, Jul 26, 2006 20:55

robtest write:
2. Because when Women cease to be hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly: Because they are so grateful!!


???Grateful for what? A bald man who flies kites? Oh, it's the southern accent...



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Posted on Tue, Jul 25, 2006 11:33

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly: Because they are so grateful!!



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Posted on Tue, Jul 25, 2006 11:32

Actually, it is an Urban Legend that Andy Rooney wrote this. It was actually written by Frank Kaiser, but the words do sound like "Andy should have said it"...

My favorite was from good old Ben Franklin...

Benjamin Franklin wrote the piece known to us as "Old Mistresses' Apologue":
June 25. 1745

My dear Friend,

I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entring into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.

(continued above...)



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