Women in the U.S. vs. elsewhere......... Romance

  • View author's info Author posted on Dec 30, 2004 14:35

    Are there any women left in the world that truly understand what it means for a man to be a "true romantic?"

    I am 32 years old, well travelled and educated and a complete sweet-heart as well as a true gentleman......

    Handsome, extraordinarily loyal, funny, driven and an exceptional lover........Most of all, I say all of this with confidence, not arrogance and/or ego.

    So the question is; "Are there seriously no women (20-35 y/o) that view these attributes as those of a solid man, or are "all" women of my generation so clueless that they perceive them as weakness or insecurity?

    Not only are women in Alaska unbarrible (generally speaking), but I'm beginning to include American women (my age) in this generalization as well.......

    Quite frankly, I'm quite a catch; I find that in foreign cultures women chase me, but here in the U.S. women my age simply do not understand me.......

    Are there any other males in the U.S. that would agree with me? Are women in the U.S. simply going sour on us and/or becoming too good for thier own britches?

    I'm an extraordinarily kind man that would truly find privelage in finding a beautiful, down-to-earth American women (roughly my age or younger) that would allow me to treat her like the princess of my dreams.......But honestly, I don't think that American women have it in them.....Prove me wrong?

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  • View author's info posted on Feb 03, 2005 23:58


    Go to a bar in a major city in Italy, and you will see the men far outnumber the available women. Men in Italy HAVE to try harder to get women, because there is so much competition. This means, more often than not, they have to resort to BS and play the seduction game. Of course the women there will naturally have their ways of weeding the unsuitable men out, and probably get fed up with the meat market mentality sooner or later and start playing some games themselves. Let's not forget all of the familial and religious pressures placed on the female, by the very same men. These women know that they are just the flavour of the day, or that as soon as they are married and barefoot and pregnant, their man will be out initiating his next conquest.

    So, of course, it is easier for these men to come to a place like America and sit back and let the women hit on them. Must be somewhat of a novelty.

    My opinion? Laziness. Take it or leave it. My suggestion? Work on yourself, become the best man you can be, and you will soar above the competition.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 31, 2005 00:34

    Correct me if I am wrong - isn't this post supposed to be a discussion about the fascinating differences between US women and women from 'everywhere else" (what an interesting choice of words - seems I heard that on CNN the other day...hhhmm....never did understand the Us vs. Everyone Else mentality).

    Alberto - you are very clear in your posts that you are against rude comments, insults, and judgmental posts. However, in your attempt to stick up for American women, you are bashing Euro women, which has made you become the very thing you profess to be against.

    People are people, no matter which country they are from. Our differences are what makes life interesting...why be so defensive?

    Sharp1- I have noticed that men from Calgary tend to be more on the chivalrous side. It is nice...and good for you for raising such a considerate son!
  • View author's info posted on Jan 17, 2005 18:33

    Babeat46, I can appreciate that not all women in N. America are cold, it is just that I have heard that as a common complaint in my recent travels to the US (particularly, NYC). In fact, one real estate broker I was introduced to was so happy that I would let him take me out to dinner and hold the door open for me, as that is almost frowned upon nowadays in NYC. He told me he only dates Europeans now because he wants to feel like a man and be with someone feminine.

    Having said that, I realize not all American women can be categorized the same way, but that is the common complaint I hear from the men. Mind you, this is coming from NY and not the southern states.

    In the same vein, not all Europeans can be categorized as chivalrous and romantic either (as demonstrated by the differing posts regarding Brits). There is a tendency toward chauvinism as well as chivalry.

    Here in Vancouver, it is very rare to have a man hold open a door unless he is from somewhere else (Europe, Eastern or Southern States).

    No one region can have its people categorized so completely, but I can tell you that there are some definite trends in dating with people from certain places.

    And of course, we take the good with the bad.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 17, 2005 18:26

    Micoma, you got it. Don't give more than you get, save it for those that deserve it and have earned it. BFDEAL didn't say don't be nice, he said stop being extraordinarily nice to attract them. And if being extra special does work, you may have a woman that only wants you for how special you can treat her. Your heart will still feel the hunger for that special one.

    MEN: Stop listing all that you have to offer a woman and asking for ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY. What kind of man needs to be that way to get a woman. Think about what YOU want, because that ANY isn't going to give a flying F*** about you down the road.

    I like a man who thinks well enough about himself that he cares about what someone else has to offer. A man who knows what he wants. When men try to impress me by being overly gentleman, I know their game and it turns me off.

    On the actors, what does whether or not we remember their movies have to do with which actors we find hot? I don't think BFDEAL thought those actors were all that but he sure knows that most women do.

    Men need to start taking back their manliness. Or get walked on.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 15, 2005 20:02

    You're not a wuss for making the woman you like feel special. You're a wuss if she turns out to be manipulating, selfish, just in it for all she can get without giving in return and you can't let go.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 14, 2005 09:25

    EuroCharm..No hate mail darlin..but"typically cold N.American woman"?How many cold N.American women have you dated?I think you need a bit of correct information.Cold?LOL...my men would get a chuckle from that so I don't need to go there.We know what our temperture is.I can't speak for all of us...but personally and especially as a southern woman I,and the American women I know are seriously feminine.I just like a man to be a man.The word gentleman,includes the word man,it includes romance and chivalry without being wussy about it.I won't comment on European men because I'm not one{good policy..hint}
  • View author's info posted on Jan 14, 2005 02:16

    Interesting opinions. Where else can you go to get honest, from-the -heart ideas from people as far away as Italy, Alaska, Canada and Switzerland? I'm an independent entrepreneur who can take care of herself, but I get weak in the knees when a man is a gentleman to me. Some men in Canada often balk at doing dreamy things for women by repeating the conviction, ad nauseum that, "Hey ... you girls wanted equality ,,, so you open the door for ME!"
    That's such a lame excuse for just plain laziness and lack of imagination. And what's so bad about being sweet and charming and seducing a woman? Are European men raised to feel like real men when they behave like that but Western guys are made to feel castrated? What nonsense! I met an English gentleman the other day who was joking around with me and I offered him my hand. He took it and planted the most delicate, soft but sexy kiss on it I've ever felt. I said, "My God, that was like being touched by feathers!" He replied, "Of course! My father taught me to kiss a woman's hand so lightly that she would not feel compelled to wipe it off afterwards!"
    Siiiiiggggghhhhh! How romantic. The stuff erotic dreams are made of. Thank God it isn't dead.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 13, 2005 10:27

    I may get hate mail for this - but men who prefer the overbearing, hold-open-her-own-door, typically cold N. American women over the more traditional feminine types are, in a nutshell- LAZY. That means they don't have to make any special effort to impress the woman or seduce her if the woman is the one making all the moves, paying half the dinner bill, and doesn't appreciate basic chivalry. What a shame! Where is the romance in that? I won't even consider a second date with someone who doesn't have the courtesy to at least TRY to seduce me.

    I have spoken to several men about this, so I know it is a common issue in N. America today....
  • View author's info posted on Jan 12, 2005 16:44

    HA ha ha...to what Alberto said..........
    I'm an American woman.....a North American woman even....just not from the US or Canada....
    Also...half Colombian...and let me tell you Alberto...I'm as open minded, independed and emacipated as can be...
  • View author's info posted on Jan 11, 2005 09:52

    Lord D, that is exactly why I go for European men.

    North Americans are so confused about the interplay between men and women that it has become a showdown of superiorty more than anything else- where is the romance for God's sake?

    With a European, I know I will be treated properly and that he will be chivalrous and make me feel desired. This is not something 'wussy' or superficial, but rather his form of appreciation that is inherent in his genes. With a North American, I know that once he has me, I won't have have a lot of the more traditional pressures put on me....so I guess the best thing for all of us is to blend different ways of being into a package that fits....hhmmmm....a Westernized European, perhaps????

    As for BFDeal - I sense that your posts are intentionally abrasive in order to shake things up - this can be a good thing though as it gets people thinking.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 07, 2005 21:46

    I want cocky, make me laugh till I cry, but I also want a perfect gentleman. The one thing that turns me off, regardless of how "great a catch" he may think he is...is whining, and whiners get sand kicked in their faces and bullied. It's just human nature.

    On another note, I think Alaska is a bad place to meet a woman too...don't they fly some in on occasion for your pleasure ;) Perhaps a long distance love affair might be in order?
  • View author's info posted on Jan 06, 2005 14:07

    interesting remarks....

    so...let's go for european men......smile.....
  • View author's info posted on Jan 04, 2005 20:27

    Chris.. if you want a teenage type of relationship then listen to what BD has to say. If you want a real one, then just be yourself and follow your instincts.

    Best of luck!!
  • View author's info posted on Jan 04, 2005 16:27

    Trust me, women still want romance. It's just we've come to believe that it doesn't exist anymore. Sure we see it on television through Hollywood, but most men believe that's a fairytale and women have gotten used to it. Sure there are some women who don't want romance, but if it is something you do believe in and like then they are not for you. Other countries simply have different cultures and ours is one that does not highly depend on courting or romance. I know women my age and we complain that our men just aren't romantic enough. Just hang in there and you'll find her.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 01, 2005 21:16

    I saw your post and thought maybe I'd give a comrade some advice. It's gonna hurt so take it, and be better for it.

    Since nearly the entire state of Alaska and maybe much of Americans ... did you ever consider it might not be a problem with them, but a problem with the way you treat them?

    For your worth to be realized, stop being extraordinarily kind (wussy), treating women like a princess (wussy), and extraordinarily loyal (wussy).

    Woman know this behavior is a way men act when they want sex. It's fake and it's not their regular way, such as how they treat somene they aren't trying to influence. Would you treat your bratty little sister this way? Your buddies?

    Would any of that make YOU more attracted if they did it to YOU? No. It might make you LIKE her. You want to be LIKED? Trust me, LIKED for that reason early on is instant death by reason of wussy. Or worse. Lifetime wussy.

    STOP doing what is pleasing. You are great and don' t have to WIN anybody over to be found attractive and for her to want you. It's the opposite if you try. They hate that, it's a sign of weakness, and they will test you early one by making statements that only a wussy would agree with.

    Do you think men should be only with their partner? You say "Absolutely".

    So she says, "Really? If I asked if my cute girlfriend could play too, you think men should only be with their partner, so forget it?"
    You say, "Sure, why not." LOL!

    Tailored and they know it. A man that is a wussy, can can be manipulated, and is desperate to please because he's desperate.

    You want to be found ATTRACTIVE and WANTED. Not necessarily LIKED. You get that by being HONEST and have a strong CONFIDENCE.

    You display neither. Hear me out, friend.

    You do things that are fake (dishonest) to make them like you under the guise of courting and romance. Favor beyond merit is for brown nosing panting lap-dogs wimps.

    A good lover? One that gives, right?
    That's a lover that never gets oral. He's too busy giving it, while she's thinking abou the man that made her service him if she was to get any at all.

    Women know the game of "HE pleases HER" and it will get you a woman that wears pants and an empty wallet. And she will no respect you, may even resent you for not being a man.

    You might even get to be her "friend". Not he one that gets favors, she would NOT want to jeapordize your good freindship.

    The man that says he seeks a relationship is not as attractive as a man that doesn't want a relationship and doesn't care if he gets sex or not because he has a friend with favors and another on the side. Oh, she won't like that early on, but she will still lust it.. Woman are competitive and like a challange. But, if you bragg, you are insecure. Mentioned in the context of a yawn of disinterest, that pisses them off and brings them your way.

    And I bet the latter is closer to your truth anyway.

    A confident man does not whine that the whole state is full of woman that don't want him. A confident man says NEXT! Because there always is.

    Think of men women adore. George Clooney. John Travolta. Brad Pitt. They are cocky, confident to the point of being funny, and if a woman doesn't take notice when they are in front of them, they either don't notice, don't care, or knows she's pretending.

    Go with the attitude you had before Mom taught you how to treat your sister and your teenage date. Be nice, because you are nice to everybody, loyal because you are loyal to everybody, and stop giving away the store.

    Think how were at 10. Hey, why'd you trip that girl. Maybe you'd say, "I dunno, I guess because I like her". She says to you, "Jerk!". And she ends up liking you best.

    Your eagerness to please is a sign of desperation. A man that has women falling at his feet is not so eager to do whatever he has to do to please. There will be plenty of times you can please her when it's your turn.

    Reclaim your manhood, your attitude, and be cocky to the extent that you can back it up and are having fun with it. Don't try to be a commedian, that's not what funny is about, in fact, stop TRYING. You don't have to. Spank that bratts, tease the babes, snub the clueless. They will come.

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