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Would you relocate to EUROPE (or anywhere outside the USA/Canada) and if so, where would you like to live?
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Posted on Mon, Aug 08, 2005 11:25

Dear Bonnie,
I worked with teens, so, I allow myself to bring here to you some elements, hopeflully they can help in a way or another.
First, I don't know if the reason of his action is because you are an expat. as they have been used with this type of life.So I will focus more on the teenhood :):
A teen does not want to be with adults, their friends are at that age very important; their hormones are also arising rapidly...; a teen by definition moves very fast from one side to another...and are difficult to catch :)...Especially that they have been brought with such an intelligent mother and daddy...to be curious about life and especially fearless not only in 1 country, but in many countries...this is the heritage you are giving them..(and..a unique one)..; a teen needs also to react (for a boy) opposite to his mother in order to separate from her.and get a girlfriend....so it is sane..; ultimately, a teen needs also limits usefull in which they have to learn to negociate their needs and to control their impulses (sexual drives or the derivatives, the learning, the intellectual levels).
What could be done is to sit down with him, or all of them, to let him-them vent their needs, frustrations, etc...that they feel they are listened to their needs...(at this age, the rage comes out fast too, so it has to be vented)...But, they also have to understand you and your situation, as it is. And to try to negociate and think (a teen does not think, he reacts) of solutions in order to organize things that everybody reaches a satisfactory situation.
What also seems to me important is they have to understand there is difference between: running away and making mommy so anxious (plus stealing the credit card, I will put a focus on this, some privileges have to be taken out from him , whatever his reason of unhapyness could be) and the need to be with friends; they have to learn to talk about their frustation, instead of reacting on it.

The consequences of these type of actions he has to be warned very clearly of what they would be: calling the police and also making a complaint against him of stealing...these would be non negotiable consequences.Why? because this are the rules in the society...(the third party as we call it- it is not a dual opposition between you and him)

Together all family has to think to find a solution...to make a suitable organization, in case you have to be away (and especially you have to work in a very tranquil state of mind) they have to understand your rules, till they get older...because you bring the bread on the table...not them..
I also think that he did not think of his action related to the security situation now it is in England...So, I would personnaly take away a couple of privileges from him to make him think...
Sorry, my english is not soo good...
I only hope it could be usefull....you will tell me :))
If anything, please don't hesitate...



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Posted on Sun, Aug 07, 2005 09:36

Aetios, thanks for the kind note.
The price of being an expat is having spoilt brats for kids.

My 17 year-old son who got tired of our 1 month break in Asia, just got hold of my credit card and booked himself a ticket to fly home to London to see his girlfriend without telling me..and only found out when the summer school he was attending to prepare for his SAT called. His first attempt to runaway was aborted when his sister pursuaded him not to..so he has used my credit card to book two tickets, one was not used! Im in a quandary as to how to deal with him when I get back...As a lawyer I have half a mind to get the police to take him in and put him in a juvenile cell till I get home...
HIs reason for leaving which he wrote in his note to us was that he had to rush back to do a video shoot for a music CD with a video director..a stepping stone to his music career!
This escapade of his is what he thinks an adventure and a dare..my kids claim that they are tired of travelling and never home when they are out of boarding school/college, so all they want to be is to stay home and see their friends...maybe there is a message there..global nomads want some roots esp when they are only teens...is this a lesson for me as a global nomadic parent? I have my roots in Asia but they have not had any since they were babies and born to two cultures but grew up in a third culture, they have lived in too many countries and gone to too many schools...tough lesson for me.



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Posted on Sat, Aug 06, 2005 16:09

What an interesting thread, dense in information, before expatriating... Bonnie you are an Encyclopedia of experiences, theories and ethic and..generosity to share it with us.
Thank you!

  


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Posted on Wed, Jul 06, 2005 01:55


Bonnie88 write:

FaceOfAnAngel write:
When you are young you don't care so much the conditions you are living,
_____________________

YOu are definitely an adventurer Angel..I think we are the new breed of global nomads who are not afraid of making ourselves at home anywhere in the world....my heart belongs to several places and seem to have a sort of cycle, about every 6 years I get itchy feet..lol I just want to wander off,,whether there is a man or not in my life..I need that creative solitary space and time to myself..it makes us bad LTR candidates ..lol ..unless he is another nomad..lol



Just thought I'd dust this one off and revive it!
Maybe cuz I've been getting that itch to get up and go? In my heart I'm an adventurer too. However, I also long for a nice, normal home life with someone special. But maybe the way to meet that someone special is to be an adventurer and travel places and meet new people.
I know what you mean though when you say "my heart belongs to several places". I think we talked about it a bit in another thread a long time ago. This feeling goes hand-in-hand with not feeling like we have real roots in one place because we have lived in so many different places and currently do not live in our "homeland".
This globe-trotting has been both a blessing and a curse. I love the exposure I've had to all these different cultures and languages and religions and have met so many interesting people. However, where do I belong? How do I decide where I really want to settle?
Time will tell!



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Posted on Fri, Jun 03, 2005 08:25


FaceOfAnAngel write:
When you are young you don't care so much the conditions you are living,
_____________________

YOu are definitely an adventurer Angel..I think we are the new breed of global nomads who are not afraid of making ourselves at home anywhere in the world....my heart belongs to several places and seem to have a sort of cycle, about every 6 years I get itchy feet..lol I just want to wander off,,whether there is a man or not in my life..I need that creative solitary space and time to myself..it makes us bad LTR candidates ..lol ..unless he is another nomad..lol



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Posted on Thu, Jun 02, 2005 20:42

I first relocated to the UK at 18, I don't think I would live there again unless I could afford a certain standard of living over there.

When you are young you don't care so much the conditions you are living, but I actually decided to leave the UK after my son was born because I knew I could give him a better standard of living back in Canada.

Lived in Switzerland for a short time and I don't approve the way they treat non Swiss there. I will not be going back there.

Lived in Turkey and would definately move back there.

Home is where my heart is and if my heart belongs to a European man then I would move back there no problem.



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Posted on Thu, Jun 02, 2005 10:42

YOu have already violated your own rule, you just told me you are cloning yourself..



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Posted on Thu, Jun 02, 2005 07:43

We don't give out trade or production secrets. Esp. to lawyers.


See if you can open the corporation thread. I am unable to open it. Need to start a serious discussion about something.

wwwww



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Posted on Thu, Jun 02, 2005 06:21

and Bonnie, if you were sweeter, you might know a lot of REAR obsessive men, and what a time you would have. The docs are now trying to clone my disease so everyone can have the benefit of knowing one.

____________________________

Sweet bu*tts huh? NO mine already getting too much attention from non-obsessive men, don't think I could cope with more, esp the obsessive kind.
You starting to clone yourself ? Starting an epidemic here of bu*tt obsession..well maybe I should go invent a great b-shield..sure money spinner..so let me know how many clones u are producing so I could match my shield production..



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Posted on Thu, Jun 02, 2005 00:18

Bonnie ".have u met many Asian lawyers?
I have only met one mental REAR obsessive"

_____________________________________

No, thank goodness, haven't met any Asian lawyers, and doing my best to keep it that way.

and Bonnie, if you were sweeter, you might know a lot of REAR obsessive men, and what a time you would have. The docs are now trying to clone my disease so everyone can have the benefit of knowing one.



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Posted on Wed, Jun 01, 2005 22:46


wwwww123 write:
No, not dangerious,
instead they are highly valued by female population.
Except maybe asian lawyers, it seems.

____________________

very educational doc..have u met many Asian lawyers?
I have only met one mental REAR obsessive manic patient here, you know it is a very rare rear obsession disease , and therefore he needs to be observed in a serious research mental institution. We have to take special precautions to ensure that it is not contagious..apparently he has already spread it to some little cub...we fear it could pass to animals too...



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Posted on Wed, Jun 01, 2005 08:28

No, not dangerious,
instead they are highly valued by female population.
Except maybe asian lawyers, it seems.



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Posted on Tue, May 31, 2005 23:56

Sorry, NO cure for that , it is a permanent condition. Patient suffering from this disorder are highly dangerous to the pubic...need close supervision and medication at all times.
It is a life sentence...



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Posted on Tue, May 31, 2005 17:05

Bonnie:
"it is a REAR obssessive disorder that needs Medical institutionalising..."

_____________________________________

That is a great diagnosis. I always knew I had something going for me, and now I know the name. I will put it in my bio.

Here is my edited bio.
_____________
I hope they let me out of this mental ward soon,(a REAR obssessive disorder)so I can get back to stripping.

___________

Now the women will really form a line and have to take a number.



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Posted on Tue, May 31, 2005 16:22


wwwww123 write:
You mean you aren't one of those pretty white tigers, or even a bengel?

u will never do to go tiger hunting for.

I wish you would quit saying that M word.
I get the shakes.

________________________________

White tiger, I thought I was yellow bellied tiger..and what M word, u mean Mental? no wonder u are shaking, we gonna despatch u to that institution in the boon dogs if u keep pinching Bu*tts ..it is a REAR obssessive disorder that needs Medical institutionalising...



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Posted on Tue, May 31, 2005 16:07

You mean you aren't one of those pretty white tigers, or even a bengel?

u will never do to go tiger hunting for.

I wish you would quit saying that M word.
I get the shakes.



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Posted on Tue, May 31, 2005 10:51

www..you forgot that marriage is also an institution...lol as mad as mental institution..

Tigress have stripes they could be proud of and would not dream of changing either.



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Posted on Tue, May 31, 2005 07:43

DOM --like leopards don't change their spots.
_____________

Why would a DOM or a leopard want to change their spots? Both are perfect as is. Female tigers are the problem, and ur right, belong in institution.



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Posted on Tue, May 31, 2005 02:29

DOM --like leopards don't change their spots..short of going for a reincarnation.

This site attempts at educating and informing. It attempts to help us learn to accept that there are those in this world whom we could never hope to change..all we could do is to learn to accomodate them somewhere..mainly in an institution..



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Posted on Tue, May 31, 2005 00:01

Bonnie, how do you expect a DOM to act?
lol


Yes, it is a good education. I am enjoying the forums.



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