Men and women are different. Both pursue each other, just differently. A man pursues a woman in a very direct fashion. A woman is coquettish subduedly in her pursuit, but be clear she pursues.
A relationship between a man and a woman works in different ways for different people. For me, I like a man that is confident because I am confident. I want to carry myself well, but not over shadow the gentleman I am with. I want to be able to respect his role as the man. For this to happen the man has to know how to develop his role.
If this is a partnership, it is one similar to a dancing partnership, one has to lead and the other has to follow. This doesn't mean be submissive. A great woman dancer projects her individual style and finess, but the man has a particular role in being the lead.
It just depends on the woman. Personally, I will check out a photo or profile, but I will not send a message or flirt . Rejection doesn't feel good and for me, I just have old fashion views when it comes to things like this. I am on another site and I have had over 3700 hits and many flirts and messages, but the men came to me not the other way around. I guess I am not confident or bold enough to approach a man first.
I'm looking for a partner. Look at the word "partner" and try to understand what that means. A partner is an equal contributor. Maybe she can't contribute as much financially... or maybe she's 10 x richer than I am... but it means that some how we achieve something that is a partnership.
By contrast, if I wanted a woman who wanted to just be pretty, be a good hostess to by business dinners, look good on my arm at social functions and just in general perform the non-equal womens duties, those women are a dime a dozen... on here and else where. Successful men, especially those of us who are older are looking for more and if you don't come to the table with your A game on, you're gonna be on here a very, very long time.
The next thing, which is about the pursuing part is this: If your self esteem is so low that you worry about reaching out to me, how are you going to survive in my world? If you worry about sending a rejection email to me, how are you going to handle advances from some ding-dong vendor or high power government official?
For the most part, on here, you're dealing with a different breed of man and that requires a different set of strategies and just being pretty isn't enough to land the guy you want.