Gotta add this cuz it just happened. The perfect example of what I don't want. He just messaged me on another site.
Strike 1- He's a firefighter, gone half the time including long nights without him. If it's fire season, it could be worse.
Strike 2- Has a dangerous job.
Strike 3 and he's out. He's 50 years old and has 2 kids he shares custody of, they are 4 & 5 years old.
Ha! I screwed up and mixed 2 guy's profiles somewhat together. I did get two in a row. Yes , one was a firefighter that I'm not interested in but the one with the two young kids, it's even worse than a firefighter, he's in the military!! uggh! I would take a trustworthy firefighter with no young kids, any combo of the rest? No thank-you.
Got another one; 51 years old, his 2 kids appear to be about the same as the the first guy. Maybe I should send them over to the OP?
The OP wanted male opinions only but I will add my two cents anyway :)
There are all types out there who want or don't want kids in their partners. I see it all but for me personally, I prefer someone with no kids or as a second choice, grown kids. What I see is a lot of men in their 40's and some in their 50's who have young children. I raised mine and she has been out of the house for several years now. I want someone who has as much time for me as I have for them. Any good father will devote a lot of time to their children and while I appreciate a good father, I'm done with the raising children part of my life and want him to be done too. I do take every person on an individual basis though and I may find exceptions.
A sidenote; I have a few girlfriends with "problem children". I hate to put any child into that category but it is realistic and it will affect any relationship that mother will ever have for years to come if not permanently. They should caution anyone of their situation and after the caution sign, if i were in their shoes, I would find the nearest exit. I am thinking of one in particular, the son has an arrest record and is on probation. He just turned 18 and if he gets in trouble again, it will probably mean jailtime for him. Why put up with it when you can avoid it? Just sayin'. That may sound harsh but men want to avoid drama,..I get it.
For you, OP, i'm sorry for your loss. There is someone who will love your kids and you!! Search and you will find, in the meantime enjoy your kids, they grow up so fast!
personally, I prefer in many instances, to date a woman that has a child/children.. I have a son of my own and women with children tend to understand that your child has to come first in your life.. second, in my experience, a woman that has a childknows what it means to put the interest of someone else above your own.... just my thoughts...
I have to agree with fatherof2. I've dated people who love children. Mother again, I don't ever bring up my child in this scenario unless I know it's serious and its going in a direction he and I both want. So hold your heads high. The guys that don't stick around just want to mess around. I had to learn the hard way. And another thing, it should be a tng to lightly broach when you have a conversation with him just so you know where he stands.
#1 if all they want is 1 night, they will walk away.
( if we are on date and you take us home and there are kids,
its a lot of pressure that we will automatically be a father IF WE STAY)
#2 if your kids are brats that are totally out of control (no discipline).......they will walk
ALMOST -NO MAN WILL WANT THAT MESS, you better be very hot/sexy
or incredibly rich for us to put up with that!
#3 if they dont like or want kids ............
other than the above.....KIDS ARE FINE, i promise.
Well, this question has been avoided hasn't it? In my opinion, most men 40 and over do not want to date women with children or children who live at home. Very easy answer! Hate to say it, but the answer is no.