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Friendship is better than marriage!
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Posted on Thu, Jan 20, 2005 20:49

When I think of friends, I think of laughter, adventures, sticking together through tough times, helping out in times of crisis, warm, secure feelings, mutual respect, a sincere desire to bask in one another's company...yes, friendship! Bring it on.

What better way to make a Love Relationship even better. Why don't more people observe the rules of friendship in their love relationships, ya reckon?

I endured a painful breakup, yet was told that we should remain friends. hmph. Friends don't do certain things to another, ever. This time, I want a friend first...Lover second.

Just my ramblin' late night meanderings...

  


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Posted on Wed, Jun 24, 2009 02:26

I think that friendship is the most important part of a healthy, working relationship, without it you have nothing. Love can change in a relationship, married or not, but a deep, true friendship endures over time. Everything stems from having a solid friendship.

I know, I got married years ago, for "love", without having a solid friendship first and it didn't last. Love is overrated, being "in love" doesn't keep a relationship intact through the hard times. Friendship can and does. When I meet the man I have a relationship with, we'll become friends first with the things that come with it; respect, honesty, integrity, kindness and compassion. With friendship first, the love will follow...Marriage is just a piece of paper after that.

Just my opinion based on my own experiences, but it seems to work for me now that it's become a belief of mine

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Posted on Sat, May 20, 2006 03:54

Surely, you start out as friends, then trust is formed, followed by respect, maybe admiration, then if the chemistry is right and the two aspire to become as one. love must appear, then should it feel right a carriage to a marriage would be right.
Well that's my way, only had the carriage once, but who knows !!



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Posted on Thu, May 18, 2006 16:30

beautynbrains4u write:
Should I ever marry again, I hope to to have a friend in marriage.


I don't understand why anyone would accept anything but... Shouldn't they be your best friend??? "Forever" is a long time...



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Posted on Wed, May 17, 2006 07:52

SweetAimee write:
In my opinion there are a whole lot of things better than marriage.
(No- haven't been married before, True- I don't know what I'm talking about.)

lol

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Posted on Tue, May 16, 2006 08:29

lilcherokee61 write:
When I was younger I was very popular as well. Had more male friends than female. But I also am very conservative. And the bar scene is not for me. I am older now, with children, and I find most men my age are looking for the young arm candy type without children. And the younger guys are interested but I am not comfortable dating anyone younger than myself, so I don't.

I would love to meet an older gentleman, who is looking for someone who is real, sincere, and honest. Not someone just because they look good. lol

I feel like a has been. lol


There is no such thing as a has been......it's your emotions and hurt speaking....you need to re-adjust that....and learn to live and love again......Age is just a number....and true some people,....age before their time....but a little bit of positive thinking and fun wouldn't go amiss.
meeting an older gent wouldn't necessarily....make you feel happier or more content....but feeling it inside yourself does.
There are a lot of people.... that bar and clubs are not their scene regardless of age....
The man of your dreams is around the corner. learn to appreciate what you have...honestly....there are some dead people now that would wish that the got another chance to feel again....Thank your blessings regardless of what it may be.



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Posted on Mon, May 15, 2006 06:17

Yes the marriage is good. But can you tell all to your wife or husband?
Anyway you need a friend to speak about how bad is you husband, no?



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Posted on Tue, Apr 18, 2006 19:13

In another age it was the same thing. Look at those who will celebrate 50, 60 years together? Now we expect our mate to knock our socks off 24/7. So, yes, friendships are more satisfying and long lasting because we have more reasonable expectations.



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Posted on Tue, Apr 18, 2006 12:40

In my opinion there are a whole lot of things better than marriage.
(No- haven't been married before, True- I don't know what I'm talking about.)



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Posted on Mon, Apr 17, 2006 23:55

angelina17 write:
hi...are you guys kidding?

best friends with your mate? where is the romance...with your best friend? i don't think so...romantic love and friendship love are two very different things...

think about it!!


I agree! Even tho I think any couple should be friends before they become lovers. Romantic relationship is very separate from a friendly relationship. Both are nice in their own way but you can't live without friendship.



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Posted on Tue, Mar 14, 2006 04:51

yea,u got that right.don't know why people like those are a few in this world.i have once a gf who can understand me just by looking at her,but now it's so far away....



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Posted on Wed, Sep 21, 2005 16:28

Interesting topic, friends or marriage, both have their own unique benefits, and over the years people change. For some they are able to see marriage through death due us part. For others, it is a mixed bag. I was married for 17+ years, and over the years, I found it easy to take my ex for granite. As friends, she could have thrown in her cards, and moved on. From my personal experiences, I have grown to fear marriage, but it beats being just good / intimate friends. Find what makes you happy, and keep the faith.

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Posted on Thu, Jul 21, 2005 08:31

AudreyLeigh,

You cant settle for someone who will walk on you and take your indipendance away from you and you cant settle for someone that you can walk on and take thier indipendance away from. I know from experiance I'm a 3 time looser. I have done it both ways and they just dont work.



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Posted on Tue, Jul 12, 2005 06:41

A fine balance here. I am not wise enough to speak with authority on this topic but I do believe friendship/respect are critical to a relationship of substance, but not so much that it takes away from romance and pure exploration of love. Anyway my two cents worth...

  


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Posted on Fri, Jul 08, 2005 18:15

hi...are you guys kidding?

best friends with your mate? where is the romance...with your best friend? i don't think so...romantic love and friendship love are two very different things...

think about it!!

  


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Posted on Wed, Apr 27, 2005 06:18

When I was younger I was very popular as well. Had more male friends than female. But I also am very conservative. And the bar scene is not for me. I am older now, with children, and I find most men my age are looking for the young arm candy type without children. And the younger guys are interested but I am not comfortable dating anyone younger than myself, so I don't.

I would love to meet an older gentleman, who is looking for someone who is real, sincere, and honest. Not someone just because they look good. lol

I feel like a has been. lol



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Posted on Wed, Apr 27, 2005 00:28

I think I am more positive in the sense that with the advent of the internet and sites like this, and we being in the era of baby-boomers..there are still alot of men about, and also the age range has certainly widen for me..strangely, I find myself dating much younger men whom I WOULD not have considered when I was in my 20s mainly because they would have been teens and that would have been a real craddle-snatcher!
It is where to find them, because we don't want to go hang out in seedy smoky bars and pubs, though that is the usual haunts here but I can't stand smoke and noise..I have always had equal number of female and male friends and they have been playing matchmaker ever since I became single ..bless them all but I feel it is rather awkward that when I go to their dinners (esp here in London where people entertain very formally) I know the only single male at that dinner will be their hopeful candidate for me..I am an extrovert, I have no problem with that but then what unnerves me is they all hang onto that expectation about what will follow and it is that expectation that I can't deliver ..I have turned down several who want to date me after but feel that it gets too claustrophobic and I would hate to disappoint the poor guy and my well-intentioned friends when nothing happens..and I live in a very tight circle , confined and defined by that circle and if it does not work or worse if the whole relationship turns sour, the scandal and awkwardness will affect the dynamics of my friendship with others..it has happened that way and I therefore steer clear of dating within my group..and have made attempts to go further afield..which is healthier and hence I do advocate LTR and LAT..I have married a foreigner , relocated for love for 20 years, and find myself veering in that direction all over again..my nomadic life continues..



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Posted on Wed, Apr 27, 2005 00:07


Bonnie88 write:
Sharp,
We share the same views, platonic relationship between men and women are the best but rather hard to maintain..I have lots of platonic male friends , some became so when I turn them down for serious relationship but have to be extra sensitive to their feelings and careful about not leading them on, others would just dump me if I don't take them seriously or they claim I have led them on..and some of the married ones I have now had to keep an arms length because I fear their wives may not like my single status and think I am a threat to their marriage..and some married ones I would avoid because I can't trust myself because I may fall for them ..that is the plight of being a single woman again..



Yes Bonnie I think we do share the same views. A couple of yrs ago, my friend expressed feelings for me. As you said, I had to tell him I didn't care for him in that way while being sensitive to his feelings. He didn't talk to me for 2 months! I missed his friendship, so I called him, we met for lunch and all has been well ever since.

When I was in my early 20's, I had more male friends than females. Females would hang around me, not because they liked me, but because I brought them around a circle of professional men (potential husbands). :-) Things have certainly changed 25 yrs later. Most people seem to be married. And when we were younger it seemed that in school, & in the work place, there were always a large number of single people all around the same age group to meet up with and party. It seems so difficult to run into a number of people our age who may also be single, amongst other qualities that each of us look for in other people.
I think we are also more fussy in our "young" age.

It's late, I'm tired, so forgive me if I just went from one tangent to another! :-) Time to go to bed I think...I think, I'm not thinking clearly.



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Posted on Tue, Apr 26, 2005 16:44

Sharp,
We share the same views, platonic relationship between men and women are the best but rather hard to maintain..I have lots of platonic male friends , some became so when I turn them down for serious relationship but have to be extra sensitive to their feelings and careful about not leading them on, others would just dump me if I don't take them seriously or they claim I have led them on..and some of the married ones I have now had to keep an arms length because I fear their wives may not like my single status and think I am a threat to their marriage..and some married ones I would avoid because I can't trust myself because I may fall for them ..that is the plight of being a single woman again..



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Posted on Tue, Apr 26, 2005 16:36

Orion,
That is the best type of scenario, on an island (presumably a deserted one) then there is no marriage ritual and therefore it would at best be just a liaison , an affair without marital commitment..the perfect place to escape the legality of marriage..



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