I loved being married too, but I rushed into it too soon, as O look back I would've dated a man for at least 2 years before I married him. Security and honesty is very important. Your husband suppose to be your best friend and it hurts when one day you find out that he is a total stranger..
Could not come here for a couple of days, (I was too affected by the stat 9/10)...anger, jealousy...to this level..are regressed emotions...What is happening..next...at the thought that these woman have kids...And I was just brousing the Corporate forum...
Aetios write: Bonnie, my english is not so good, but if I understand well the statement that 9 of 10 women wish to be widowed than divorced (that their man go with another women) ( read it many times), I got terrified.because..in my opinion it's a wish of death of the other person...(in this case a husband)....I wonder if they realize this uncounscious wish...or anticipated choice.... I would prefere anything bad he could do to hurt me, or me to loose him, than dying.... I hesitated to post this, but, I think it is necessary not to say nothing to such weird things...I wonder if these woman took time to think at what they were saying....
Well, 'Hell has no fury like a woman scorned..' a betrayed woman is a sadder and angrier woman ..jealousy is a harder emotion to contain than grief..
Bonnie, my english is not so good, but if I understand well the statement that 9 of 10 women wish to be widowed than divorced (that their man go with another women) ( read it many times), I got terrified.because..in my opinion it's a wish of death of the other person...(in this case a husband)....I wonder if they realize this uncounscious wish...or anticipated choice....
I would prefere anything bad he could do to hurt me, or me to loose him, than dying....
I hesitated to post this, but, I think it is necessary not to say nothing to such weird things...I wonder if these woman took time to think at what they were saying....
Hello all, I am quite new here, and my impression reading this subject, is that either on paper or saying it verbally, the commitment makes no more sens, it has been erroded; thus we might find why a word given or writtent has no more consistency, for a lasting period of time; why we can not keep our promise...
Bonnie88 write: hey , you guys forgot that the other by-product of marriage are the kids..NOT rings or pretty wedding gowns and expensive wedding celebrations...more important than a licence to marry, is a licence to have kids and be responsible parents ...and there should be penalty for non-performance.
You are so right Bonnie. My daughter tells me horror stories of her friend's parents fighting and doing horrible things using the kids to get back at the other. Or telling their kids things about their Dad/Mother that they have no business saying.
I told me ex when I separated, "We WILL get along! For the sake of our kids. We will BOTH be at their weddings." And we do get along. Many times over the past 4 yrs people have commented to me that my kids are well adjusted, and the separation does not seem to have affected them in anyway. That means I am accomplishing my goal! :-)
Marriage someone said is about 3 rings..engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering...and Sharp I am glad the kids in your divorce is not suffering...like so many others.
I have often asked women which of the two bad circumstances they would rather suffer, to lose their husband to another woman or to untimely death...9 out of 10 would rather be a widow than divorced ..now that I am a widow I would say that the only difference is that in my case as a widow I could remarry again and have as many husbands as I wish but my children will never have a father..while in divorces , however bad the case maybe , the kids will still have a father..and it is important that divorced parents treasure their kids and mitigate their pain by staying amicable and friendly ..they owe it to their kids as responsible parents.
They keep deleting a wonderful innocent picture of two old folks snuggling each other that I have posted with this statement. I am not crazy folks, or at least not certified. MM monitors are crazy however.
TallSwtInstblKat write: I still believe, someone perfect is out there, looking for me. We all just have to choose very wisely and pay attention to the little signs, make sure you are happy this time, listen to your Gutt...remember the things that annoyed you, the things that made you happy, look for the heart the personality.
Everyone is looking for the perfect body, be realistic, body can be altered as I have commented on before, but no matter what you do with your hair, nose, bust line or figure you will still remain the same person, your heart and soul makes you who you are, your experiences, your attitude is what makes you "YOU"
The only thing from looks that I want is that my love is taller than I...lol, but his heart plays the major role here. I want a Tall sweet kind loving Teddy Bear, if he is genuinely kind and attentive and treats me with the respect and love that I will offer to him, he will find... I am not very hard to please.
Marriage can be a beautiful thing, just make sure you make the right choice this time. Don't rush into it. The best of luck to you all. Sincerely, Kat
sixfeetwtc write: etc.). People change over time. Relationships change over time. A marriage or relationship of any type is something that requires commitment and work - not an easy task for many. It's no wonder that many marriages or relationships fail. I'm not certain that I'll marry again. My marriage and the disintegration of it taught me much about myself and others - it was one of the experiences I've had that's allowed me to grow as a person. My outlook on life and what I strive for is much different now than it was 14 years ago, and I'm constantly growing and changing as do others. I've met many people who place emphasis on meeting their ideal mate and lose themselves in the process. I don't want to experience that ever. One of my constant goals in life is to meet and surround myself with as many good people as possible, meet people along my journey in life and wherever my feet take me - and if I should happen to stumble upon someone in the process with whom there is a 'divine' connection, then so be it.
Glad to hear that you are able to see life's bad experiences as part of your learning curve and continue to grow and develop from it.
Wisdom comes with experience, and in marriage as in all relationships, for it to grow requires lots of TLC and nurturing and we need to understand too that people like all living things grow at different pace and different directions..and sometimes that growth may require both to divide and separate or they suffocate and die..as we observe in plants ..and we should not fear that either. Divorce perhaps have been stigmatized far too long as a negative phenomenon, yet we often also see it as an inevitable opportunity for change and growth.
Perhaps, we need to redefine Divorce as DIVERSION in marriage, a less stigmatized term.. to enable positive growth for all parties involved..so that kids , the main victims will learn to accept it better, as changing course?
hey , you guys forgot that the other by-product of marriage are the kids..NOT rings or pretty wedding gowns and expensive wedding celebrations...more important than a licence to marry, is a licence to have kids and be responsible parents ...and there should be penalty for non-performance.
I from Russia. I often heard, that the American men took away wives from Russia. Promised for them a good life. But there - in the USA women sat at home. They did not let to leave anywhere. Or they were as slaves. And many different terrible histories. I only wish to find the present love. And that with me respected.
Min and Cub,
YOu two belong to the eternal optimists group . To want to try a third time means you have to examine whether you or the one you choose are the right candidates for marriage and all its commitment.
I went into marriage naively, ignorantly and innocently expecting very little. In fact as two lawyers, we often wondered why we bothered to do it, perhaps only to legitimize our kids. I see so many marriages break up and continue to be long drawn legal battles over assets, all because of the piece of paper..it adds pain ..and if you add pre-nuptial contracts , does that become conditional love?
Without the paper it will truly be one of freedom of choice, to love unconditionally..each is free to choose without the ramnifications of legality and assets..marriage historically was intended to protect the women and the children as to their material interests and rights..but in today's world where women are increasingly independent financially, the legal rights to marital assets cut both ways..the gender issue is now increasingly on an even balance , and therefore marriage as a contractual commitment becomes an inevitable issue for both parties..LOve and marriage has a heavy price...the lawyers are the only ones laughing all the way to the bank..whether the couples live happily ever after or not..so before you sign your next contract, read the fine print of divorce laws and marital assets..good health warning.
views of a pragmatic lover..lol
Glamor1014 write: I agree! I have been married twice and divorced twice, but I am a true romantic at heart. Life is too short to not take a chance on love. It may sound corny, but it IS better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all.
it is all fine to be romantic and love ...but is LOVE=to must marry ?? some marriages are loveless and some love without marriage, esp in this day of tedious complicated divorces...marriage is just one piece of paper that you sign your life away..still want to do that after you have signed on the dotted line twice??
i am marriage minded...only the right man is missing!
i can relate to being blindly in love...that is exactly what happened with my ex-bf. i was there for him, loved and cared...and for return he just left me without any good reason. should have seen the signs. actions speak, not words.
i just want an honest man who is marriage minded....is that so hard to find?