Neither men nor women are that simple because we are all very complicated beings and we are attracted for different reasons, some good and some destructive.
And men and women both want to be appreciated but what suggests appreciation is different for different people. Some women might appreciate a guy helping her with something around the house - hooking up the television, making the wireless work for the laptop. Others would much rather have a dozen roses. But, they both want appreciation. It is all a matter of what defines appreciation, not whether it exists.
The destructive nature occurs when a total giver meets up with a total taker.The enabling process works in the beginning but then it ends when the giver seeks appreciation and the taker does not understand that appreciation was part of the ground rules. And frankly, appreciation was never part of the ground rules and the relationship is doomed because of that.
So as a giver, I have to understand that I must be wary of the taker, not because the taker is bad, but because I am bad for not setting up proper ground rules so that the relationship has a chance to succeed. I, as a total giver, am just as responsible for the failure as she is as the total taker. There is no good and evil here, just an incompatibility and dysfunction combining with dysfunction. Here two wrongs never make a right.