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Can you make it work the second time around?
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Posted on Thu, Apr 21, 2005 01:15


Bonnie88 write:
Nature has a fascinating way of dealing with all that man construct ...to readdress all that we plan and do...
acts of God, famine, phenomenal natural disasters..wars are some of them that we have witnessed all the time in that inequitable way that nature and God if we are to believe there is an omnipower addresses such issues..When man try to play God, we are in danger of courting consequences beyond our control and knowledge..I believe in the yin/yang balance of nature..good/bad' poverty/affluence..perfect/imperfect..Utopia is and will remain the elusive heaven and a dull place to be in I am afraid



Never dull, Bonnie. Never. Your utopia won't be mine. But you'll find it. Funny how life works out.

It's all so original and so it should be.



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Posted on Thu, Apr 21, 2005 01:05

The poverty, the sickness, no care. Why are we sniping here? These are children! Does it make you feel better to have been a better parent than they have had?

I've been focused on my own daughter. I've been negligent to those other children out there. It isn't about guilt for me, you or anyone reading this. It's, for me, deciding how I can make a difference in a meaningful way for others. It's not my focus in life but it's something I can do.

God, I sound trite. Yet and yes --- I can take small steps to help kids. Thanks, www.

  


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Posted on Thu, Apr 21, 2005 00:33

It is also offensive for the few to support so many.

I think that after you are here on earth that we should do our best to take care of everyone. However, just being capable of having children does not qualify you to be a parent. I don't think you have seen some of the things I have seen, some of the people producing children who will not have a chance in the world. Sometimes the children all have different fathers, no marriages. The poverty, the sickness with no care, no transportation to get to the doctor, -- but the parents will always have drug or alcohol money.



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Posted on Wed, Apr 20, 2005 23:54

You are one sweet girl. Did I sound bitter? My darling, I live a wonderful life, full of love, with a daughter about your age. I've been divorced for years, date regularly and love each morning. I love that you wrote your note. It made me look at what I wrote.

Good for you! When I see bright, caring and alive, it makes my day!



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Posted on Wed, Apr 20, 2005 22:58

Some words really bother me, when bantered. Some include genetic, mentally, financially, perfect/imperfect and unstable. It is offensive to me to hear bantered the idea of a permit to have a family. It is offensive for some to judge so many.

Personally and something I don't usually express, is a background with a cancer patient , my beloved daughter, who was also a national level diver, until she had to have brain surgery. For her to have completed high school and progressed to university is more than for a child with no problems to have won a Nobel prize.

At different periods in our lives, we are all "different", according to others' judgments. The soaring beauty of Canada -- and, I hope the US -- is that it's OK. There are so many of us that are strong, if we use our strength in proactive ways, that we can link hands and support impossible causes. I really feel that, with support, there aren't so many impossible causes.

God, I know you guys said something wrong because I sound like a Liberal!!!!

  


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Posted on Wed, Apr 20, 2005 08:56

wwww writes:
I think we need to require a permit before having kids. You would have to prove that you were fit genetically, mentally and financially, before adding more bad genes to the pool. Need to weed out those bad genes and unstable characterics.


I've been saying that for years!!!! A lot of people aren't fit to have kids... I've seen it a lot, especially in sports. My daughter was competing nationally at one point, and we were but a few parents always there at training and competition, a lot of the kids were on their own, and I would go and take care of all of them, suporting them, encouraging them, giving them the pat on the proverbial pat on the back for a good perfornance and comforting them after a bad one. Poor kids! It would just break my heart!!

As for a second chance at love, I believe in it totally, just hopes it happens to me... ;)

  


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Posted on Wed, Apr 20, 2005 02:48

Yes nature will deal with it, just like it deals with too many rats in the same cage. It will be horrible, perhaps beyond our imigination, and could possible be avoided, or at least reduced in scope..

Yes, natural disaster, disease, war, etc. have kept the polulation of the earth down in the past. The world wars took care of 40 or 50 million young men and citizens. We have whiped some of the diseases that wiped out 1/3 of Europe, killed most of the Indians in South America and many in North America. Things are better right now (diseases), but there are still diseases left out there that we cannot cure. The more dense the population, the more bodies. The more ignorance, the more it will spread. Check out AIDS in Africa, or the latest disease there (last week) Now we can spread diseases from one side of the earth to the other in 12 hours. Who will bury them all?

This is way off the original subject but I guess I don't have the disipline to not respond.
Sorry, will try to do better.

ww



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Posted on Wed, Apr 20, 2005 01:00

Nature has a fascinating way of dealing with all that man construct ...to readdress all that we plan and do...
acts of God, famine, phenomenal natural disasters..wars are some of them that we have witnessed all the time in that inequitable way that nature and God if we are to believe there is an omnipower addresses such issues..When man try to play God, we are in danger of courting consequences beyond our control and knowledge..I believe in the yin/yang balance of nature..good/bad' poverty/affluence..perfect/imperfect..Utopia is and will remain the elusive heaven and a dull place to be in I am afraid



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Posted on Wed, Apr 20, 2005 00:29

I wouldn't go that far out on a limb, so don't put me out there. However can you imagine what the world is going to be like in a 100 years the way it is going now? I am glad I won't be here, but the sad thing is that my decendants will be. I just think there has to be some reason about reproduction or we are going to breed ourself off the planet and all starve. Guess who is having the most children? Is it the smart people? The educated? The talented?
The mentally sane and stable?
Not where I live.
ww



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Posted on Tue, Apr 19, 2005 12:08

www..agree with you about licenced parenthood but then you are in danger of propagating genetic engineering like Huxley's 'Brave New world'..designer babies and the perfect human species..Reason taken to the extreme may become madness..Hitler's idea of the perfect society.



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Posted on Tue, Apr 19, 2005 11:40

I think we need to require a permit before having kids. You would have to prove that you were fit genetically, mentally and financially, before adding more bad genes to the pool. Need to weed out those bad genes and unstable characterics. A permit should definitely have been required in my family. lol



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Posted on Tue, Apr 19, 2005 01:17

I do agree that there are the good and bad in both sexes..abuse comes in various forms..non -physical and physical..verbal abuse is probably one that ranks highest with women in frustrated relationships and domestic doom..

Domestic violence is probably the most hidden of crimes..and the kids tend to be the vulnerable victims..
In such cases, the kids are happier without the abusive parent/s..
Most couples who jump into marriage forget that it is not just commitment of two but rather a much wider and extended commitment...there are not enough health warnings for marriage..



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Posted on Tue, Apr 19, 2005 00:32

You ladies seem to think that only men are abusers. Change the he to a she and read them again. My experiences are that more women than men are abusers and have more severe physological problems. I admit that I worked with a lot of very stable men, so that may not be the norm, but many of them were married to very abusive wives. Why, I will never know, but I would guess that often they didn't want to leave their kids or not be there to protect the kids from her. A woman in Houston a couple of years ago kill all five of their children. Its not limited to men ladies.



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Posted on Sun, Apr 17, 2005 22:16

Bonnie

Your experiences mirror mine. Somehow, one day, women wake up and say, "What did you say again?" And start laughing!

  


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Posted on Fri, Apr 15, 2005 01:23

Orion ..good for you if you feel that way and less like so many of the other men I find in the same age group..and some of my men friends do feel the pressure of performance in mid-life both at work and in other aspects of their life..and when their marriages fail they seem to run for younger models and trophy wives or mistresses to prove their virility and demand..
I am far from jaded Orion, I have lived the life of a global nomad and met people from a myriad of backgrounds and cultures..and that is just an observation I deduce from my encounters with middle aged men.all over the world....you must be the exception ..so count your blessings.



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Posted on Thu, Apr 14, 2005 16:25

You sound a little "jaded" Bonnie....
I am neither desperate nor do I use viagra.
I AM looking for a partner for life, but my well being will never be dependent on it.



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Posted on Thu, Apr 14, 2005 03:12

ever wondered why this question is being contemplated here by an all women cast and no male participant at all? I know because all those men are so focussed on looking for their life partner , lover etc..they are on IM and looking and prowling...the other night this guy wrote me and when I welcome him onto my global friend-ship, he was not interested because he claimed he is on MM only to find a life partner...lol ..I mean this guy thinks MM is a bride order catalogue..and probably expect an instant wife delivered to his doorstep...I find that sene of urgency esp with men in their late 40s and 50s..I guess male menopause is even more serious..I mean non-performance must get them on red alert..afte all Viagra may stop working after certain age..so I guess we women are luckier in that sense..
second chance at love is always possible but do we truly need it?



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Posted on Wed, Apr 06, 2005 13:32

hi there,
I've been looking for someone who's not to picky, wants to get to know yoy, see if there is a spark or two, then go from there. looks & body type aren't that important, heck if you want them to loose a few pounds, do it together.
I like someone who sees beyond outer beauty, remember just as you aged & got to lookin a little rough around the edges so does the opposite sex. I went from a size 38 inmens jeans to a petite 14 in womens, it took some work, but it was for me.not a guy. I want someone who likes me for me, I like being small, but for me, I figure if he really wants me to stay that way he'll help me out, besides maybe I will feel he needs to loose some too. keep the looks & bodies out of this, keep in mind you want someone with you because your lonely & want a future with someone that sparks your life, gives it meaning. You want someone to be with, go places with, have a movie & dinner partner, someone who apprecates you for you. that someone could be me. just wish there was another way to chat. see I'm on a trial for now. would any of you go for someone poor, makes less than 20,000 a year, or someone with a disability, like not being able to run, or wlk for miles. are you after sunshine Barbie or a real companion, one who will be true to you, love only you, not cheat on you, how many barbies do you know that will stay faithful. the stories I've read & seen, well if you want her that bad, so does someone else. I'm here for the real man wanting the real thing & willing to find & fight for her when he knows shes ou there. waiting for mr. right to come rescue me from my dull life. no i'm not a gold digger, but hey if my prince can offer me a home I never have to leave, companionship, quite nights watching the stars or a movie snuggled on the couch, I'm all for that.someone who likes to be in the country sometimes if not all the time. I'm a country hillbilly type, I love cowboy types, I deal with big cities as long as I have someone there to get...

  


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Posted on Wed, Feb 16, 2005 01:30

Just a thought to add here, not just for Larken, but for all. When things no longer matter, when money doesn't matter, when nothing matters but you (and yourkids if they're still at home), when your health is worse when you're at home, when work is happier than home, when NOTHING in the world matters anymore except you (and again, kids) then you know it's time to get out.....that's when you can really do it. I left my marriage with almost nothing but the clothes on my back......later, after I got a bit stronger, I was able to go back and get my most important things. But it is soooo much better to be single and alone than married and alone, and/or God knows what else! Be strong -- if I can do it, so can you! It's been 5 years and I just bought a condo for myself. New car next year! Any of you still stuck, you have my support and prayers.



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Posted on Fri, Feb 11, 2005 09:54

Thanks Graciouslee,
The last 4-5 years I've done more with music and promotion than before. I think that was a turning point in my thinking, and building self-esteem. I actually built more as a teacher of self-esteem, if you can believe that. So now, I am going to look forward to promoting myself in music and acting, and just see what happens. I really enjoy this site, that you can talk with and meet so many people that are encouraging. We all have dreams to follow, and should take care of ourselves that way. With Blessings,
Heidi.



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