I'm educated sweet girl who lives with 42yo guy. I don't get why he acts weird. He calls 70yo mother "mommy". He eats chocolates all day & cookies at midnight, never any hot meal, complaints he's confused & tired. sleeps from 1am & turns over 96times at 8am (it's like jumping on the mattress). Doesnt like to be touched. During baby's ultrasound only asked is it his? never trusts anyone. doesnt respect many people. He said ex got limo & fancy vacations. even said that i'm not a model & that nanny is younger. Why he's controling but hates when i remind him to find a key (i couldnt get in my house 6 times). he refuses to see any shrink but he's not normal. why he calls ex every day? why he afraids to spend money on me (especially on my birthday)? He got kicked out 3y ago. she got a spouse support but they never signed final divorce. when he can get a divorce certificate? He's a hoarder so this dirty house lookes bad. what is wrong with his windy head? he says I'm too sexy but he looks at barely dressed slots at the mall... He has a diahrea of his mouth like five times a day so should i plan my vacation & should not wait for him? is he hopeless or can be normal in the future?
2mo before i moved in he wrote about real estate & later denyed everything he wrote in emails......
even so he doesnt deserve to be with me i wonder how to help this poor jim? i never quit but he's so weak and confused and strange...
he never does anything. he only brakes promises & talks about some ex. he is so afraid to be controled but noone even tried to control him. he is very cheap & can't explain his crazy actions!
To be honest with you, IntelligentGirl, please do the intelligent thing and ditch this guy and quit complaining about him all over the blogs and forum. Some people may rightly interpret your action as paranoia and damn right obsessive. Pardon me, I have seen some of your comments about this Jim on other posts by other members and I just couldn't really help noticing the continuous complaints about how badly this guy treats you and how terrible he is. How does that help your situation?
Just leave him alone - if he aint good for you, why stick around and complain???
You are hanging with him, but checking out your chances with guys in this site - that is hardly honourable, is it?
I am sorry to sound as though I am turning on you but the obvious simple fact, which you seem to be completely oblivious of, needs to be stated to you in simple terms - Leave him alone and find someone more suited to you or stay with him, accept your lot in life, quit complaining, get off dating sites and spend the rest of your life trying to make your dysfunctional relationship work and hoping to 'cure' Jim of his 'condition'!
I doubt this site will provide you with a counselling or therapy service, so this is hardly the right platform to embark on your "I hate Jim mega-complain fan club" that you seem to be on.
If you feel so badly hurt by him then get onto a shrink's couch and unburden your venom there please.
Importantly, rather than attract any person of worth on here or elsewhere, you will put them off by your incessant Jim complaint 'syndrome'. No real and proper man is attracted to a whinging, complaining, moaning, and needy woman. The only ones you will attract, sadly, would be the same ones that gravitate towards damaged, abused women with little or no self-esteem left and guess what? That will probably be worse than your precious Jim current situation. If that is what you are looking for then ride on!
Finally, if I were you, I will spend my precious time in taking English Language lessons to improve your written English which, if you are honest with yourself, is currently quite appalling. Imrpove yourself and upgrade.
My advice is well-intention for your own good since you chose to put it out here in public.
he sounds cute and sweet. you sound like an angry person. you also should go back to school. if you don't like who he is then leave him.
For one thing, I cannot see a cute and sweet man in the description given in this blog, so I am a little at a loss as to how you came to that conclusion.
Secondly, I agree that IntelligentGirl's [IG] spellings are a little less than what you would expect from a Masters Degree holder and native speaker of the English language; however having read your own profile, your spellings need a bit of a revamp to be honest. In that regard, I would not be admonishing IG to go back to school if I were you really.
IG - You are a young and beautiful 27 year old lady - as for the man you describe - what are you doing with him???? I am hoping the baby ultrasound you are talking about is not that you already have a baby for him? I sincerely hope not because your profile is a little confusing as it states you have no children. Take a quick walk - actually run as fast and as far away from this poison as possible. You have no idea what you have gotten yourself into.
Firstly, do your self-worth analysis - do you honestly not deserve better than this? You do a scan and all he asks is, is it his? Insinuating you are a stupid slut! Slutty, and then stupid enough to get knocked up? What kind of a man asks such a question of his partner - it shows he has zero respect for and trust in you! I will not even bother analysing or commenting on the rest of the content of your blog. But I can assure you that there is nothing 'poor' about this Jim of yours. Get out before it is too late, my dear.
If you are still in doubt whether this 42-year-old sick man will get cured, invest some of your time and read a good psychiatric or psychology book on psychopaths, sociopaths and symptoms exhibited by some adult victims of childhood [sexual] abuse particularly those whose abuse were severe, prolonged and did not receive intervention. Match the symptoms with your man's personality. Then you will understand what you are dealing with. If you want to sentence yourself and your children to a lifetime of misery then stay with him. If you have the time and opportunity chat with his ex, that will cure you. What does it matter to you if he is divorced or not? Do you really want to sentence/condemn yourself to this?
I sincerely wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart!
You don't know that person. but if u could see how often he makes people cry, u would be very shocked. If u moved to a new state where u don't know anyone but u didn't like ur date then where would u go & where would u get help? what can u say to a person who's not over what happened 4y ago? thanks