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Sex and Us
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Posted on Mon, Feb 07, 2005 20:42

How important is sex to you?

I want to know people's opinion about ;
If you found someone exeptional who never makes you cry, adores you, lives for you, treats you like a king/princess ..you know he is the right guy
but when the time comes

HE can't perform... he takes viagra but he doesn't have the desire or is able to perform. Would you stay with this person or would you not?
would you sacrifice?



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Posted on Fri, Feb 11, 2005 11:08

I feel a need to respond about this question of sex...YES sex is important..but the art of lovemaking doesn't start or end in the bedroom, it is hopefully alot more than just sex, we all want the full package......But there are alot of good men who for medical reasons, all the little blue pills in the world cann't help them (age has no barrier ) ..BUT they have PASSION with kindness and love for their partner from their heart, which is
not in their pants., which is I think more important than just sex, have you ever seem a man rubbing his partners neck while they are just grocery shopping, this is body language and a form of sex............before you get the wrong idea I enjoy sex and the full package........BUT sex without passion ALOT of divorced people have had that, so I guess if I had to choose (hopefully that will never happen) but I do think one can be loyal and loving and sexual with passion in this difficult situation, with the right loving partner........Lonnie

  


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Posted on Fri, Feb 11, 2005 01:57

It would have to be a very deep, dedicated, selfless love to stay with a partner who you knew would not be spending intimate time with you. Almost nun or monk-like.
We are sexual beings, humans are, and I don't believe we can live without enjoying sex, or at the very least, closeness. Sex isn't just for making babies anymore, after all, it IS the 21st century and we've changed as a species so that sex is an essential form of expression now, especially toward a love partner.
Anyone who stayed with a person who prefered not to have sex for the rest of their life should be nominated for sainthood OR ... there should be an understanding that intimacy will be acquired elsewhere, from time to time.
I personally would feel uncomfortable balancing a halo on my head.

  


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Posted on Thu, Feb 10, 2005 15:38

Well said Dawn and Mas......sex is extremely important for the very reasons that Mas listed and if it's not there, then how can the relationship be ideal? Eventually the unsatisfied partner will start to look elsewhere, which answers the question.



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Posted on Wed, Feb 09, 2005 13:30

Ok i'll answer this as a nurse. Young,middle,older men have many things that can hinder their performance. Stress,worry,and so on. If this is his problem then he can go to a doctor and have it worked on. If it is physical the same thing to a point. If viagra doesn't work i would bet it's the mental in which case if he can seek the help be it friend, counselor or as above.
If you truly are interested in this man, and everything is as u describe, then you have to look to yourself whether you want to try and help him thru it. You also might consider talking with him and having him make some decisions to seek help and give him his space for awhile. Again another choice. You could either help or hinder him. If this ends up a permanent problem then it is a big choice. Sex is one of those tree brances off the main trunk. It is a big part of any good relationship. without it then it starts to wither and die. Other emotions such as anger,resentment replace it and then the choice would not be hard to make. I hope this gives you some insight to your dilemma and helps...S4U

  


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Posted on Wed, Feb 09, 2005 12:59

What a great question.

As the question has been put - "you know he is the right guy but..."

The question itself is quixotic - I'm not sure they'd be the right one if the sex wasn't right.
Speaking as a man (and getting ready to duck anyone throwing rotten veggies at me for my reply)...sexual compatibility is important to me in a relationship - it's the physical embodiment of my emotional self during lovemaking.
To be unable to express or enjoy that would be frustrating, at best.

I would express my feelings and give someone every opportunity to see if the cause of the...lack of desire...could be remedied.
In the end - it would all come down to how much I cared for the person. All relationships involve sacrifice of some type.

But that would be a big one to take.



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