How does a mom, business woman with intelligence, beauty, refinement, sex appeal, and a great sense of humor manage to have a serious relationship devoted to the betterment of all involved? Deep huh? Long Term Relationship

  • View author's info posted on Aug 03, 2005 10:58

    Cecelia2005 write:
    In all fairness, it seems like the only solution is to date casually and to develop a friendship which may or may not actually lead to a life long partnership of deep caring and love.

    And you already know the answer but remember the answer changes a bit depending on your station in life.
    It is hard enough to maintain or develop and long-term relationship but it might even be harder to understand whether the relationship should even be long-term if you are divided by distance. It is one thing to fly into a place and spend 3 days without a care in the world. Almost anyone will seem like the perfect match in that circumstance. But the person around the corner might not seem as romantic because you might be meeting him or her at soccer games instead of enjoying champagne at breakfast.
    If you are single without children, then the risk in one or the other moving might be worth it. But with children in the mix, all bets are off. They are your children and not his. You WILL be defensive no matter what you think.
    So sure you have to have casual dates but casual dates a thousand miles away while the kids are at someone else's place is not the same. I can get along with anyone's child but that is not always the case.
    Good luck and don't settle for less. There is nothing greater than a good marriage but there is nothing worse than a bad one.
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  • View author's info posted on Jul 26, 2006 06:26

    Hello, let me say that being a single mom for several years and having dated several men I feel that I can give you an experienced answer. Just remember that your children will grow up quickly, that you cannot go back and undo mistakes you make, that those mistakes can affect their future. Yes, I believe moms should take time for themselves. But because we are divorced, whomever we choose to spend time with will in never be their father and it will never be the same as if the person your with is. That's a fact. Also, relationships are funny things. You meet, your crazy about each other and then 6 months into the relationship, maybe things aren't so perfect, he isn't so great and then you look back and the choices that affected your children weren't so great either. I think you have to apply caution in these situations, going very slowly and you just don't involve your children for a very long time so when their are those ugly surprises ahead, you don't have any explaining to do. If you don't follow this advice, you'll have to explain again and again because typically it will take a few relationships before "the one" comes along. I'm speaking from experience and I now wish I had not told my children, not introduced them to my boyfriends, because guess what? None of them are around now, but my children still are and it's my job to protect them, teach them. They didn't choose divorce and all the complications that arise - love yourself enough to give them this. Best of luck to all...Seabrz
  • View author's info posted on Jun 04, 2006 11:48

    Women have been the masters of multitasking since the beginning of time

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  • View author's info posted on Jan 02, 2006 10:32

    Since single (my decision) everything involved in my life is a bit overwhelming and I can?t comprehend how do I introduce my life to a new man? I think us women tend to dream and picture (analyze) things a bit too much. I know what I want and I will never settle and I find peace knowing THAT PERFECT GUY FOR ME, will just work out like magic. As far as kids go, I think it?s healthy and better for kids if they see their mother happy. I don?t date, haven?t found a man I would want to spend 5 minutes alone with yet, but my kids have often told me to FIND A MAN LOL. With that said, I have to mention all my children are older and pretty independent which might make the difference. One good outcome of the single mom situation, we are careful and question so the second time around will not be a mistake like the first.

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  • View author's info posted on Dec 30, 2005 20:30

    Hi sweetie!
    I hope that your holidays were lovely!
    I have missed you Len....
  • View author's info posted on Dec 05, 2005 11:56

    The solution is in the statement "Betterment to all" those who are the "ALL" must decide if their needs are greater than "MOM'S" need. If your needs are greater your mom loses, if you put your mom's needs first the "ALL" becomes second.. your mom has a chance to have a serious relationship...Who is more important??????????? A solution is the serious relation interacts with the "ALL" as much of the time as possible(as an equal with mom)and the "ALL" interacts with mom's partner as much as possible ever when mom is ot around. The solution takes maturity ON the part of "ALL"!
  • View author's info posted on Nov 27, 2005 01:12

    Hi Paul....I have missed you...
    The man who has two....needs help from the woman who has one...two pairs of hands make the work light...

    At home and at the office Paul.
    I multi-task....
  • View author's info posted on Nov 20, 2005 22:54

    Excellent topics guys....
    I have been too swamped to be on the forum lately...
    But even as my son grows older....I hate to leave him without me around much. I do try hard to have social activities planned for when he is at his father's house for the weekend....
    I guess my point being, is that it does not get easier as the child becomes older....
    I work minumum 40 hours a commute.......
    I only have one child....I don't know how mom's with more children find the energy to get it all done.....
  • View author's info posted on Aug 31, 2005 18:27

    I read this topic and thought "I've wondered the same thing many times". Between working full time, going to school, taking care of my daughter and all her 10 thousand after school activities, I have no idea how I'll ever be able to meet someone.
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