This is one of my all-time favourite stories. I'm not sure if it falls into the "urban myth" category or not, but it's still a belter. Enjoy.
A bloke (American of course) buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30,000+, and has $400.00+ in monthly payments. He's pretty proud of his new motor, and gets a hold of his friend to give it a spin. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen.
These two "rocket scientists" go to the lake with their guns, a dog, some beer and of course the new 4WD. They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on. Remember it's all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill...
Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-Second fuse.
Now to their credit, these two DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they would be waiting and ran back quickly, they would risk slipping on the ice as they ran from the imminent explosion and could possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. After a little deliberation, they come up with the idea of lighting and THROWING the dynamite, which is what they end up doing.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the beer, the guns AND THE DOG ???? Yes, the dog. The driver's Black Labrador gundog (used for retrieving - especially things thrown by the owner) is present and on duty.
You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice, reaching the stick of dynamite with the burning 40 second fuse about the time it hits the ice - all to the woe of the two idiots which are now yelling, stomping, waving arms and wondering what the h*ll to do next...
The dog is very happy and now heads back toward the "hunters" with the stick of dynamite. I think we all can picture the ever-increasing concern on the part of the two blokes, as the loyal Labrador Retriever approaches. Their are REALLY waving their arms - yelling even louder and generally feeling kinda panicked.
Now finally one of the guys decides to think and grabs a shotgun and shoots over the dogs head. The dog DID stop for a moment, slightly confused, but then continued on. Another shot, and this time the dog - still standing, became REALLY confused & of course scared.
Thinking that his owner has gone completely barmy, the dog takes off to find cover with a now extremely short fuse still burning on the stick of dynamite.
The cover the dogs finds? Underneath the brand new Grand Cherokee that is sitting nearby on the lake ice.
Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance company and is promptly informed that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT covered on his policy...
A man just passed the Attorney bar exam and is hired by a major firm in the city,He loves to duck hunt as he planed to hunt before his first day at work.He got to the lake early and shoots a big duck that lands in a field next to the lake. He hops the fence in time to see a farmer get off his tractor,pick up the duck and start to drive away. He runs over to the farmer and demands his duck, the farmer says NO it is on his land. The new attorney say: if you don't give me my duck I will sue you and you will lose your farm. The farmer stops,gets off the tractor and says, around here we settle everything by the 3 kick rule, he said "What", the farmer explained, he would kick the attorney 3 times and the attorney would kick him 3 times, who ever quits first loses.
The farmer was old and skinny and the attorney pumped iron, the attorney said "OK", the first kick was into the attorneys left leg, the attorney went down hard, after he got up, the second kick was into the same place in the other leg.When he got up ,the third kick was into the front of the right leg and this time the attorney went down for the count, after about an hour the attorney stood up and said he was ready for his turn to kick, the farmer handed him the duck and said.."You Win"
When I was a kid about ten or twelve years old I was down in the woods when there was another kid with a double barreled shotgun. He had shot both shells and was going to reload when he saw a wadding down in the left barrel about halfway. We had a discussion about the best way to get the wadding out. It was decided that the best way was to just put another shell in the chamber and shoot it out. He put a shell in the chamber pointed it up in the air and pulled the trigger.
Well you can guess what happened. The barrel burst where the wadding was showering steel splinters in all directions. It bent the right barrel and those two strips of steel that are welded to the top and bottom were peeled back like banana strips.
Nobody got hurt but if the guy is still alive today I'll bet his ears are still ringing from the blast.
This is just one more illustration why kids ought not to be trusted with guns unless they have had some training or an adult who knows what he or she is doing is present.
What an absolutely, hilarious story! It made me laugh, so I called my 14 year old son in and read it to him. He thought it was very funny too. Thanks for sharing such a humorous tale!
Only one question came to mind, it's because I'm so logical, why didn't one of the idiots grab the dynamite from the dog, while the other held the dog, and then throw it far away? Too easy I guess, and nowhere near as funny.