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HOW A DRAGONFLY CHANGED MY LIFE Sort by:
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sweetsheila2006
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Posted on Sat, Oct 07, 2006 16:12

I want to share something very intimate and close to my heart. It's long though, but I hope you read it in its entirety because it will make you "believe" when you think you can't anymore. This is a true story and one of great magnitude for it changed my life forever. I was in my mid thirties....it was one of those hot and humid days in Southeast Texas. There were invisible waves of heat rising from the sidewalk in front of me as I sat on a bench fanning myself looking out to nowhere in particular. I had been reminiscing of a childhood long ago, innocence lost at such an early age and knowing there wasn't anything that could bring back moments gone. My life after youth had been full of winding roads, some wrong moves, bad choices.... yet something always kept me from giving up on life completely. Nothing could totally erase the thread inside that kept me from having even the smallest sliver of hope. Granted, there had been many a moon that I wanted to give in and give up, tired of living in fear and frustration, wracked with memories of pain and misfortune. But on this day, I truly believe I was at a crossroads of living and dying and what happened is nothing short of a miracle. There had been so many times I had wondered, "What is my place here on earth for"? What makes some things happen to some and why are they chosen? What are my reasons for the seasons? I had fought the fight for too long and it had become a way of life for me. But looking around me, I saw that this is not the way living your life is supposed to be. It shouldn't be so darn difficult and I knew that somewhere and somehow I would one day find my destiny in life, but would I or could I live long enough to find out? And this is what happened next as it is etched in my memory till the end of my time here on earth. Sitting restlessly, and sweating profusely from the heat, something caught my eye and I looked across the pavement. It was just the tiniest movement but enough to catch my attention. There, laying across the pavement I could tell it was a small creature of some sort. I got up from the wooden bench, and walked just a few steps ahead, looked down and I saw a small dragonfly with beautiful, brilliant colors of green and purple spread across its wings. At first I thought it was dead, for the weather was in the upper 90's, and the sidewalk had to be in the 100's. I could just imagine the poor little creature sizzling on the concrete, yet quoting Cat Steven's, in one of his songs, "I didn't need to use my eyes to see", I knew the dragonfly was still alive. I bent down and gently picked it up, laying it across my hand hoping I was right and low and behold, one of its tiny wings fluttered. Walking back to my shade on the bench, I sat down with the little dragonfly, careful not to drop it for it was so fragile. I sat there for many moments staring into the palm of my hand at this magnificent insect. No telling how long it had lain there in the scorching heat for it was very dry and brittle to my fingertips as I barely touched it with my other hand. I couldn't help but to feel sadness in my heart because I knew it was defenseless and probably wouldn't live to see barely another minute in time. And at that exact moment, something deep inside me felt compelled to help. I haven't an idea why, but I thought that I could save this tiny creation from God. What happens next may sound to some silly or even a bit corny, but it is the honest truth as I tell this story in all sincerity. Gazing upon the dragonfly, seeing that the tissue like wings looked cracked and maybe broken, I knew that it must be suffering from dehydration. It was as if I could actually see each breath it took was forced, for it lay there so still and stiff. I wondered how I could accomplish such a feat because I diden't want to venture any further with my dragonfly for fear of harming it any more than it already was. And then it came to me, as clear as day.....I gathered the spittle in my mouth and even though it was a small amount, for my mouth was as dry as hay, I knew I didn't need much. There, in the palm of my hand and just an inch away, I spit just enough. With the index finger from my other hand, I gently pushed the creature towards the wetness...adjuting it so its head lay right on top. I sat there, waiting breathlessly, trying so hard to give the dragonfly the willingness to live, saying silent prayers in my head. As clear as day, and right before my eyes, I saw and felt what some say is a "spiritual awakening". A bona fide and miraculous feat. The dragonfly drank from my hand. It happened almost instantaneously, unfolding beneath my view....this tiny, magnificent insect sucked the sweet nectar of life and little by little I witnessed something that no one or anything can ever take away and that is of my very own. The dragonfly slowly regained its strength and I could plainly see the life come back in its tiny body for it began to move more freely in my hand. For what seemed like hours, only took a few moments for me to realize what life, love, willingness, courage and hope is all about. I could see myself in that dragonfly....tired, frail, weak, powerless and defenseless. And if I felt this way, just think of how many others out in the world, were just like me? All it takes is a tiny bit of courage, faith and hope to become renewed and refreshed. If I could help a dragonfly live, what else was there I could do to make a difference and give someone the willingness to not give up? The magnitude of that afternoon was only the beginning of a lifetime of giving hope to others, to use what I had learned through many years of hardship to an advantage in pure faith of saving another's life.....especially in children and women's lives. There was a reason for my seasons of hardship and I now knew what I was always meant to do. My lessons in life were actually blessings in life. No more martyr....no more woe is me.... no more pity pot....it all became clear. It was a beautiful, wonderful day that hot afternoon and I felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted and I had been set free. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, and mental abuse have no place in this world. Yet it exists, every single day and every minute of the day. There isn't anything we can do to stop it, but what we CAN do is to help others to overcome being the victim and to use their experiences as hope for the next person. And to think, all it took was a little faith from me and a little courage from a dragonfly. God does work in mysterious ways. As I said, this is a true story, nothing fabricated or elaborated...just gut wrenching truth. And what happened to the little dragonfly? Well, after all was said and done, I placed him in a wooded area next door and in my mind's eye, I would like to think it flew off into the sunset and landed on some neighbor's clothesline. As a youngster, that is where I first saw a dragonfly...we used to catch them, then let them go. But I haven't a clue as to its ultimate fate so I couldn't say. I know this is a long story, but I hope beyond hope that it might touch someone else. Either it be the victim or the victimizer....either one would make all the difference. Love, love, love to one and all. And God bless you.


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Posted on Tue, Oct 10, 2006 15:28

good for you Sweetsheila.I'm glad for you. I hope I will find my dragonfly very soon. Tazz


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SCORPIOBEAUTIE
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Posted on Tue, Oct 10, 2006 05:39

Sheila, Great story, girl! Wow! Morganth, thought you were gone for good, girl. Good to see you are still around. How are you? Yes, we all have those life changing momnents. Would be a good blog title. Mine was the day I actually FELT the arms of God around me and his great love, during a gut wrenching (verbal)fight with my mother, two decades ago. I transferred that love to her and it DRAMATICALLY CHANGED HER responses to me forever. We have been best friends ever since. LIFE CHANGING. The power of love!! A lot to be said for it!


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sweetsheila2006
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Posted on Mon, Oct 09, 2006 22:27

Every day there are small miracles all around us, just waiting to unfold if we take a chance, get out of ourselves and do something different. You can make a difference in someone's life with something as simple as a smile or a hello. I know because it has happened to me. Once,I was having a real bad day...I drove through the Jack In A Box to get a breakfast jack and it was a lady that took my order. Over the speaker she was so friendly and when I got up to the window, she spoke the kindest words and was just full of happiness and energy, asking how I was and to have a good day.....for some reason, just in her tone of voice, she touched my heart. I almost cried because she was so nice to me. It was just the thing I needed at that particular time and it made all the difference in the rest of my day. I was really moved by her actions and told her so. In turn, I made her day and she must have grinned from ear to ear. You just never know when those "little things" you do can be practicaly life changing. It can be so awesome too.


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Sun, Oct 08, 2006 06:34

Thank you Sheila your story is lovely.. To see one's adversities as a blessing is what it is all about..we learn and grow through out pain and disappointments...or well we should..some don't...do this ..they tend to cling to the past pain and disappointments...when we do this it is a catalyst for what I like to call the failure to thrive syndrome....what starts as a spark turns into a cold ember...then it will take hold like a cancer making us become angry resentful hateful people... It is all about forgiving and letting go of the pain...if we use that pain as a point of positive reference..it can be a helpful tool in our future understanding an behavior towards our fellow man.... Not one of us are not damaged in some way...sometimes our pain and fear can be overwhelming ..but if we don't give it the power to destroy us or harden our hearts...we can become stronger and better because of it. It is a choice...an awareness of self and all the goodness that is within us all..I and I truly believe most people are inherently good... we all just want to love and be loved unconditionally.... Thank you for sharing..... Erica Anne @)----------


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