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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Mon, Sep 04, 2006 09:01

jardoxx...Let me clarify this..This blog is just to stimulate thought..conversation..Do ya agree or not..why? ....I am not personally involved or wish to know just for my curiosity..everything written does not necessarily reflect my personal observation ..opinion or thought...about the Jr.High thing...I never felt compelled I had to keep up with anything or latch on...I was a free thinking spirit then as I am now.. I sense a little hostility here..Are you OK? J..the really great thing in life is we are given choice...thank you for posting. Erica Anne@)---------


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Sat, Nov 11, 2006 12:24

Hey sweetie...I wasn't disagreeing..I was just stimulating conversation...I too think it important to have friends that one may confide..as long at does not create problems or doesn't become a trust issue some people just are not secure enough to handle this..I believe this is one issue among others that should be discussed before hand..perhaps before any commitment...everyone should know what they are getting into..before they make any commitment... ya see Genie...It did stimulate conversation... *wink * " Oh Santa inquiring minds are still waiting for clarification.." * wink * Erica Anne @}----------


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endangeredspecies
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Posted on Fri, Nov 10, 2006 09:40

To Erica Anne, sharp1, and designertx, Thanks for your views and your encouraging words. It is amazing to me that I can talk to strangers about something so personal and you respond with sincerity and uplifting words that I would only expect from friends or relatives, you are all really great. Erica Anne, you hit the nail on the head with what you said. The woman I was talking about was a finalist in the Miss Virginia beauty pagaent a few years ago and is currently an actress. She always seemed to need to know that everyone around her wanted her. If a guy was not flirting with her she wondered why. I was drawn to her horse riding and animal interests(O.K., yes and the looks and such) and viewed her differently than a lot of people did. She even told me once that she could have any of her exs back at the drop of a hat(I know, red flag). The further I get from the situation the clearer it all becomes. Thanks for your insites and to designrtx, I am soory that happened to you. You are very pretty and from your profile seem like a very nice woman. I have to give some consideration to moving to texas. the woman I am most attracted to all are from there. Frank


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Thu, Nov 09, 2006 19:25

Yes, they will exchange deep secrets.. And things that they will never discuss with you.. And that's okay.. It's healthy.... But it's when you start to cross that line from friends to becoming intimate emotionally then I feel that is where you have to question yourself as to why? Thank you Santa ..now I have a query..could you...please explain to me the difference in sharing one's deep secrets you know the things they may not discuss with their significant other...and becoming intimate emotionally...


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Posted on Thu, Nov 09, 2006 19:10

Endangeredspecies...there is having a good relationship with your ex, where things are amicable, but she's not in-love with him, and will NEVER get back with him. You care what happens to him, because he is the father of your children, BUT you do not claim to 'love' him because he is the father of your children. There is a difference. That was a major red flag. Then there is the amicable relationship where one says they still love their ex, but would never get back together with them. The latter...is the red flag one to watch out for! Can you note the difference? BTW...in my opinion, it is not okay for someone to invite all their ex-boyfriends to a party. That is weird to me.


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Thu, Nov 09, 2006 09:05

Frank..some people...just get a high off of attention...they are like sharks that have to constantly swim...or they die....some people need their egos puffed up all of the time..it is like a drug...so they may lightly or heavily flirt...and say it does not mean anything that is just doesn't matter...but if you are the person who loves that person...it does hurt and everything matters and counts. When we invest our feelings and heart...we are putting ourselves at risk...we are putting our faith our trust into these people...we want to be able to trust them...one does not build trust by flirting or creating doubt....if you truly love someone..you do not give them reason to worry or doubt..you do quite the opposite..you do everything you can to make them feel at ease ..safe and comfortable.... I know it is a cliche' to say...you are better off without her...but in truth you are...life is tough enough ..full of disappointments and pitfalls..it is a fight to survive...why place your heart with someone who does not treasure it and hold you precious.....


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endangeredspecies
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Posted on Thu, Nov 09, 2006 08:39

PaulineMaria, You say that I probably learned well from this. I am not sure I have cause I feel that in order to give a relationship a real chance you have to put yourself into it and trust the person 100%. When you do that there is always the possibility of getting hurt. If you hold back the trust and don't take the chance you( I ) will never find what I want. So, I guess if I don't start bringing "baggage" with me when I am trying to find a relationship that has meaning and requires trust I am still vulnerable to being hurt. It's a catch 22 Frank


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Posted on Thu, Nov 09, 2006 08:17

Frank, so sorry about your heartbreak, AND i can relate unfortunately...things are just not what they seem sometimes...and we only find that out the HARD way. Somehow there's a lesson in it for us and it's a painful one. A few months ago I had a very similar relationship end, and man did it hurt. The rejection was very difficult. There was another woman in the picture and he picked her over me after completely leading me to believe he saw his future with me and talked about it often....I was being rather unconditional in letting him work out his fears while I went on about my business, dating others too (no sex) and putting no pressure on him, etc. I really really liked him and could tell how much he liked me too...and things were great between us..then one day with barely a word, he lets me know he's making a commitment to the other woman! I had NO doubt he was going to pick me! Or I wouldn't have stuck around...anyway, even if he was not right for me, yet to be determined, the rejection of it was excruciating! Yeah, ofcourse I'm better off AND SO ARE YOU, but when it hurts it hurts and it's not always about logic. Lesson learned.


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Thu, Nov 09, 2006 07:52

wait..G and G?????


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endangeredspecies
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Posted on Wed, Nov 08, 2006 13:35

I just went through something very similar to what you are discussing. I met a woman that coincidently was on this site but I did not meet her here. Anyway we hit it off right away and even though we lived 70 miles apart we were seeing each other 4 times a week. I felt as if I had finally found the woman of my dreams, the one I wanted to and would grow old with. She always called me honey.(you will see why that is important soon) She had a great relationship with her ex-husband. he went to the same church as she did and when I started going with her he and I hit it off. I used to spend weekends at her home and with her kids. Her x used to come to visit his kids when I was there and we all would do things together. I thought it was nice. Then I started to notice that all her male friends(a lot of whom were x boyfriends) would end e-mails and phone conversations with I love you or hugs and kisses and she called them all honey. At times when I wasn't there she would call me and in a normal conversation tell me that she had lunch or dinner with so and so(always male, usually x). I still tried to put it off as they were just friends. Then 1 night she had a party at her home and a lot of these people were there including her ex-husband. I heard her call "honey" and I turned and said "yes" and she said she was talking to tony. 5 minutes later she called "honey" again and I said "yes" and she said she was talking to Larry. 10 minutes later the same thing and she said she was talking to her ex-husband. That night I tried to explain to her that I thought Honey was our intimate term and that I felt uncomfortable with her calling everyone else that. She told me that she and I were different in that way. She used that term with all men and I needed to understand that it meant nothing. I asked her to call me anything else then so I would know that that term was meant only for me. I told her if you have to call my "s..thead" at least I'll know it was a term of endearment for me only. She also told me that after being divorced from her husband for 2 years she still loved him but only because he was the father of her children and she had not been attracted to him for years before they broke up.We had already talked about the future together ,where we would live what we would do, etc etc. Then 3 days later she calls me and tells me "The Lord told her that she needed to go back with her ex-husband" Out of the clear blue. Her ex was just as shocked as I was. Now I feel that I can never trust a person that is having a good relationship with an ex. I hate to feel like this but this hurt me to my core. I really had hopes and dreams with her. Frank


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Tue, Nov 07, 2006 09:19

seems like you have been thu it newman....


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Sat, Sep 09, 2006 00:49

Cdinco..I can visualize you always rising from the ashes.... Thank you for posting Erica Anne@}--------


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Thu, Sep 07, 2006 05:20

Hi Starfire..welcome..you are so pretty..Thank you Starfire..what a beautiful compliment. It is reaching out and touching beautiful souls like yours that make all the time put in writing and posting here worth it. I hope you plan to contribute..It all can be much fun...Just don't let the negative stuff get to you and whatever you do please keep your sense of humor....*wink* erica anne@}-------- Starfire..."Just what is a real blood?" giggle


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Wed, Sep 06, 2006 10:13

" Point taken Tom..." Thanks for posting... Erica Anne@}-----


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Tue, Sep 05, 2006 23:58

cindco I agree emotional abuse can be far worse than the physical...It layers a veil of oppression over us. It strikes deep to our core and can scar us for life. Love does not hurt intentionally..To love someone is to wish them only good. cdinco ...You are happy. This shows growth in soul and spirit. Thank you for posting... Erica Anne@}-------


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BlueEyesBeDazzled
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Posted on Tue, Sep 05, 2006 19:18

Thank you Erica, for your kind words and insight...there is so much truth in your words...Pamela


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Tue, Sep 05, 2006 17:50

Dear Linzay....I am so sorry...but this happens so much...the Internet can be used as a wonderful tool. It can literally bring the world to us..he carries the promise of love and dreams answered. Even so the flip side..Is that it can be used to reek havoc within our lives..we all must use good judgment...I suppose we all know what we can live with and what we cannot..I feel sure some find they are truly addicted..they are only to well aware that candy store is not so easy to give up...For we can easily get our egos stroked and our desires delivered right there at the end of our finger tips...The promise of more is only a click away....It can easily be abused...and if used unwisely can be a devastating blow to the human spirit and heart. Linsay..I know you will find a nice guy out there..there are a lot of men..who would never think of doing such a thing...be patient be aware... Are you new...if so welcome...and Thank you for posting.. Erica Anne@}--------


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CDinCO
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Posted on Tue, Sep 05, 2006 09:07

Yes, and sometimes the emotional affair can be more damaging than a physical one. I had both with my Ex. But, he was VERY emotionally abusive anyhow. It took me years to realize that, but I did and I'm happy and healthy now that I've rid myself of the constant torment!


Courtney :)

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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Tue, Sep 05, 2006 08:51

Hello Marianne..No... she is not me...They do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery though...I guess I should be flattered...wink.. Good to see you..thank you for posting.. erica anne@}-------


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1ltblueeyes
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Posted on Tue, Sep 05, 2006 03:08

woman always= talk about men being dogs == but you woman talk about =talk that is phych, cheating , well start owning up to it , n do something about your sordid lives mentally! there was a song years ago , " if you want me to be closer to you,, be closer to me reread the woulds ,tom


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