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Beautifly
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Posted on Mon, Aug 21, 2006 03:02

So I went on a date with an ex the other day... we had a really enjoyable time. We did simple things ... We went to Starbucks, walked around the city, went to a movie, and then dinner at a mediteranean restaurant. We shared a lot of laughs, some meaningful conversation, and conversation about absolutely nothing. We even had an argument about eyedrops that he gave me and how they weren't supposed to burn my eyes... When I think of what I want when it comes to a partner... he IS the one... EXCEPT for all of his neuroses/psychoses!! LoL!! I accepted him and loved him even with all of his "self-realized" mental issues that caused him to push me away. For three very long years, I endured him holdim g me hostage. He would show me that he loved me, but e would tell me that we could never "really" be together. He would always try to let me down ever so gently even though we both knew he needed me to love him... which was why I stayed. Sometimes I think he took advantage of the fact that I like to believe in the inherent goodness of all people and that I would never leave him if he needed me. His boyish charm didn't hurt either!! Finally, this summer I let go... not of our friendship or even the love that I have for him, but the desire to want to be with him. I really feel freer, but I can't deny, the times that left me with good memories... were REALLY good!! They still make me smile. So now that I'm not being held hostage anymore I'm finding that I want what I had/have with him... a great friendship with someone I love. I'm successful in that I have cultivated many friendships with an eclectic group of people. These friendships have endured not only time, but but a few ups and downs as well... some of them minor and some major. Why can't love relationships be as lasting as friendships?

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Beautifly
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total posts: 70
Posted on Tue, Sep 05, 2006 19:26

Oh we've already covered it several times in the last three years!!! I'm just finally accepting it. I've accepted that I can't change him and make him any less bipolar than he is... soooo I've moved on. And THANK GOD!!


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CDinCO
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Posted on Tue, Sep 05, 2006 15:35

Have you ever considered asking him? How do you know he doesn't feel the same way? Maybe strike up a conversation of "hey, how come you and I never seemed to work out as a couple?" and DON'T let him get away with "I dunno!" You were strong enough to confront your girlfriend, this should be much easier to do becasuse you already crossed the line with him.


Courtney :)

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Beautifly
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Posted on Mon, Sep 04, 2006 06:16

True. Love is subjective... too many intrepetations. I suppose that could be the problem.


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