Member's Blog > what is the difference living alone ,or lonely
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Posted on Jul 23, 2018 at 07:56 PM

I recently lost most of my family and b/f. I had always been in a relationship. I was LONELY. It has been 4 yrs alone now. I am alone and still get lonely at times ,however the longer I am alone the less lonely I am. Why? It was a learning process. I've learned a lot about myself. I have found new activities. I feel freer of course and not just going out. I can just hang out no questions asked. I don't worry as much. I have more confidence. It is not for everybody ,but if you are always lonely maybe this blog will help.


Age differences
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Posted on Sep 07, 2018 at 04:18 AM

The longer you are alone the more you learn about yourself. You fill up the time by doing things for yourself. You make decisions for yourself and you learn to put yourself first. ūüėČ

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Posted on Jul 27, 2018 at 02:31 PM

Wow

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Posted on Jul 27, 2018 at 07:39 AM

Quoting author:

As Maryclaire says, "I am on the same boat." Now for some years.     Email buddies are not quite the same as someone across the table, but I will be an email friend for/if any of you would like that.     You are all too far away to meet and talk over coffee.     No strings, no cost, no evil intentions.  Just someone who has been there who can "listen."     Maryclaire and I have exchanged emails, so far she hasn't seemed to have suffered too much harm from the experience.     -- RMac22 --


  Hi RMAC ,   Good to see you once in a while .  Yes it would be great to  meet and talk over coffee but the distance make it impossible.


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Posted on Jul 26, 2018 at 09:02 AM

As Maryclaire says, "I am on the same boat." Now for some years.     Email buddies are not quite the same as someone across the table, but I will be an email friend for/if any of you would like that.     You are all too far away to meet and talk over coffee.     No strings, no cost, no evil intentions.  Just someone who has been there who can "listen."     Maryclaire and I have exchanged emails, so far she hasn't seemed to have suffered too much harm from the experience.     -- RMac22 --

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Posted on Jul 26, 2018 at 12:55 AM

  @lookAtmeandsee1,   Thanks a lot for your echo comment ..My late hubby died in 2002 and I was on Night Duty .After receiving the call from my late Sister in Law I was totally empty but I had a blockade  I could'nt really cry ..That night my Friend Nun came and took  over ..we talked the whole night which had really helped me to be more stronger .It was the 1st time in my life I feel so empty  and lost even though Im in the middle of a crowd ..It was a real  blessing I had the relatives of my late husband who helped me with everything and my friends who was here with me .I told them I dont even have time to grieve because of the paper  works I have to accomplished before and after the Funeral ..it was only at night I could cry because Im alone ...After 7 dys I returned to work which I decided and the best remedy for me. .My life went on but still with a lump in the throat and heavy weight in my breast and still empty .My general feelings was  not there ...I asked my friends where is my heart ..I dont feel anymore .For 4 years I had that empty feeling.   Then I decided to make a trip with my Friends to the USA ... We took a drive from New Jersey to Washington DC and from  there something happened awesome ..We went at the back of  the White House to a Chapel selling religious relics and I found  a wonderful Card with a warm dedication . So I sat down on a corner and read ir silently ..to my surprise I was able to breath  freely and that heavy pressure on my breast was gone ..I thsnk  the Lord for that and silently cried ..When we went home I told  them what happened and they were glad to lnow it     I keep it but gave it to a friend who also lost her husband  afrer 2 yrs ..From that time I felt much much better ...I didnt have a  Physical dates up to now since then but I was able to have ONL Dates which lead to nothing.   Even though Im now happy and  contented as I am with me with a new found freedom .            

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Posted on Jul 25, 2018 at 07:26 AM

@Author

Please read MaryClair2000.   I know how you feel,as you read my blog.  there are 2 ways to go.  If you just lost your husband recently , then there will be a grieving period, which is normal. It took me 3 yrs to put my foot out the door.  I was sick every day , I mean sick like a stomach flu that never ended. I slept almost all day and night if I could.  I wanted to escape this awful pain of being alone.   so, in 2015 I tried to commit suicide by way of pills. It didn't work but after 5 days I began to go threw horrible  Withdraws and had to call an ambulance. When My sister died in 2016 of alcoholism I really hit bottom.   There was no one to help me.  by 2018 I said It only takes 1 step to begin .  1 STEP !  so, that's what I did. I never liked where I lived. A senior community. Everyone was so old to me. We had a free Bus  system and I decided to just ride it and talk to the people in the bus and introduce myself to the people and told some of my 2014 tragedy. Then they told me there's and theirs  and how they handled it. The bus had what's called a " shopping loop" and went to a lot of plaza's and Malls 7 days a week.   I had always walked and forced myself to continue even threw my grief. As the year has gone by I find that I actually liked being alone and the new freedom I had. I have started dating and found I didn't want to be married again ,but I did want a companion to go out with and stay at their home for awhile and he could stay at mine ,we could go out to new places and meet some of his friends. That is all I want right now.  I am on dating sites , like plenty of fish. Which I do not recommend. Then I saw a Millionaire site and have chatted and texted many. Everyone needs to find there interests or try something maybe the things they would never like. 

Also there is the Y.W.C.A.  But you have to grieve knowing you will take that 1st step ans the next 20 steps were much easier.   Remember you will never stop missing your husband , but the world has so many things to do and  the pain will lessen and lesson. Also write in a journal and write what ever you want. Just pour out all your feelings. Remember You will be happy again.      



Age differences
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Posted on Jul 25, 2018 at 03:42 AM

I am so alone and so lonely.. My husband passed away. I have no family or relatives here in the U.S. I don't have any friends.

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Posted on Jul 24, 2018 at 01:06 PM

So sorry to hear of ur losses. You have every right to feel sad. However, loneliness is a CHOICE... get busy... discover your passions... join some groups... reach out to others you don‚Äôt have the blessings that you do! Stay positive!!! Good luck!!! ūüćÄ

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Posted on Jul 24, 2018 at 12:03 AM

  lookAtmeandsee 1 ,    I think we are sitting on the same boat ..Im alone since many years but Im not lonely ..I go out and meet friends or I do things alone ..I go to the movie , window shopping - shopping, dine and lunch and I walk a lot ..At 1st I was lonely too after losing  my husband but as time goes by I learned and treasure being  alone and the new found freedom .. I read an Article yesterday.. " Women who are alone are happy " because we could do things without a question mark behind our mind . We are free and can do things freely ..   ALONE - is a state wherein nobody is around ..no partner ,no parents , no kids ..and other people..   While LONELY is a feeling of sadness to have nobody around to talk to , no companion for life but it depends on how you will cope up with it just as I did ..   Yes you are in the right place , the Site and the Blog .Most of the good people here are gone but there are so many members around to help you through.  

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