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Posted on Jan 04, 2016 at 09:23 PM

As each new year begins, there comes a commitment to starting a new life. As if we can suddenly click the switch and life will begin again at midnight on January 1. People make promises to do better this year than last; lose weight, stop smoking, exercise more, drink less. (whatever the habits may be) But the concept is, “Out with the old ways and in with the new!” It's like we are granted a “do-over” each year the moment the clock strikes 12. Many of these promises are futile, of course; but none the less, we still make them, year after year.


If I had one insight I could place on the table, it would be this.


Don't allow another year to slip by. Time is fleeting, and often we get so lost in the hours, we lose sight of each second we are afforded the blessing to breathe. I didn't appreciate enough. I see this now. There's a reason, “Stop to smell the roses,” is a saying.


I buried my father in May. It wasn't a close relationship, and I think this is what hurts the most. I allowed time and distance, and everything in the middle that didn't matter, to place barriers between us and I never thought about his getting too old or sickly to live. He's my dad. He just exist! "I'll catch up, one day." It's my loss now and I realize I am kind of like that with everybody. God help me if I allowed anyone “in.” I easily hide behind words shadowed on paper, but in real life, I cower to closeness. I have a self-destruct button that is second to none. Now it's a new year and I had no one to kiss at midnight, Valentine's Day is around the corner, (table for 1, please) and the little girl in me doesn't even have daddy to call and say hello to. I'm not angry or bitter. I just recognize what needs to be done and am at a loss of how to accomplish it. I do wish, however, my dad was here to view my epiphany. He passed without knowing much about me. We were both at fault.


My girlfriend stopped by today and was telling me how her boyfriend was being grouchy to her the other day. She said she retaliated in front of her friend by saying, “I love you,” and waiting to hear it back. (He doesn't say it.) I explained to her she was wrong in her actions and that some people just have a difficult time in expressing their emotions. Embarrassing him would not end in a reward and that I don't really say it either. She stated she knew she was wrong, and then said, “You really don't say it?” I said, “I can tell my kids “love you,” that's about it. No. I am not big on saying it. Words mean nothing.” And then I laughed and said, “Imagine that. I get paid to write and here I sit saying words mean nothing. The irony.”


Then I said, “Let me ask you something. Do you know I care about you? Do you need me to say those words so you know I care about you? I show you through my actions your friendship is of importance to me. I don't need words.”


She said, “You got me there. I get it now.”


As a person who gets paid to write, I guess it's hypocritical to say, “Words mean nothing.” Truth is, words are powerful. There are some words I am not as good at. “I love you,” is the most difficult. I know this, as does anyone who knows me well. I have this imaginary armor surrounding me that keeps people at a distance where I don't get that close to them. It took my father's death to fully understand this.


So I guess if I had one thing to say, it would be….


Don't let life's precious moments escape you. Don't allow the fear of loving others to paralyze you. Don't waste your days worrying if they will love you back, or leave you in the end. It's a waste of time. And in real life, we don't get 'do-overs” or second chances. When people leave, they are gone. That's what I learned.



HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! I am so glad 2015 is BEHIND me.   


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Posted on Jan 14, 2016 at 06:21 PM

2015 was when Reality TV went Political. I saw through this Sheet of coverage from the beginning. Reality is what you go through daily. Reality TV is what others feel you should feel! Hope you know the difference! JUS SAYIN! (:LV1:)

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Posted on Jan 09, 2016 at 12:20 AM

Hoping, your dad has seen your epiphany/change.

It's easy for spirits to visit our world (and to see and hear us)... and they do it all the time. 

You can't call him on Valentine's but you can talk to him... and he can hear you... and if you listen very carefully you may hear him too. 

Happy 2016 ! It's gonna be a fabulous year... or well, I'm gonna try to make it fabulous, cause like you said, THAT is what matters (that and a positive attitude IMO). 

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Posted on Jan 06, 2016 at 02:27 PM

Good evening Hoping! 


Happy to hear you are on the mend. 


Wishing all a prosperous, joyous, healthy, wealth, and knock out 2016.


Remain blessed.



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Posted on Jan 06, 2016 at 07:03 AM

Hi Hopng, my year has been quiet so far.  Not a bad thing.  Sorry you were not feeling well.  I had a nice Christmas. 

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Posted on Jan 06, 2016 at 01:52 AM




Im glad you feel better now ..After Roc I was also sick before Christmas ..Roc and me got the same problem ..After the running nose , loss of voice for 1 to 3 dys Orchestra on our throat remained whenever we took a deep breath .. 


Im supposed to say Hi to you last night but I fell asleep on my comfortable chair after a hard working day ..I was totally drained ..


2015 was a year full of many circumstances , activities and happenings for me ..and hoping to continue with it this year ..I have learned to accept all situations either good or bad ..


I have never connect the New Year with any changes or resolutions because I know Im going to break it but when I think of something important I have to do I stick to it no matter what happened ...I was surprised but it honored me that my Dept. have adapted some of my ideas and opinions ..


Im almost coming to a conclusion but I can't tell you now about it because Im not yet sure ..



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Posted on Jan 04, 2016 at 10:50 PM

Hi David,


I was sick Christmas, and had a friend visit from out of state a few days and then getting caught up on work past few days. I hadn't had the opportunity to reflect much until tonight. So I thought I would share. Haven't talked much about my dad's passing, but it weighs on my mind. 


DAK- Because I know you, I would have to say that my words ring true for you. 


Don't let life escape you. My tombstone may not say I was a success, but it will never say I didn't try. 


HAPPY 2016!!!! May the year ahead be the best one ever. I, for one, am looking forward to it with a great attitude!!! 

Good things are to come! 

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