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Posted on Jul 16, 2015 at 11:46 AM

Criterion…

 

 

Men, when you read the list ladies post what do you do? 

 

Do you cross yourself off their list for one out of all their (fill in the number) plus absolute requirements?    

 

Do you take the view, “No one satisfies that list of crap, I have as good a shot as anyone”?

 

 

Ladies, when you read the list men post what do you do? 

 

Do you cross yourself off their list for one out of all their (fill in the number) plus absolute requirements?    

 

 

Do you take the view, “No one satisfies that list of crap, I have as good a shot as anyone”?


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Posted on Jul 20, 2015 at 07:27 AM

Quoting author:[QUOTE_ID]2472782[/QUOTE_ID]

I don't have many requirements listed either.  As I have already said, some combinations of attributes trump everything.  Others are or can be tradeoffs.  Too many show stoppers and you won't find anyone.  Unrealistic expectations ditto.   


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Posted on Jul 20, 2015 at 04:25 AM

 

RMAC , I checked on my Profile 1st before I come to your blog because I dont know anymore what I have exactly written there , but now Im sure I didn't have any criterias for my match ..as far as I can remember I purposedly did not do it because of my experiences ...I married the man I never thought of ..I just fall for him ...so I think it will be the same with the next partner ,  so 

NO CRITERIAS for me ...I prefer to be surprise ...


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Posted on Jul 19, 2015 at 08:43 PM

Quoting author:[QUOTE_ID]2472744[/QUOTE_ID]

Thank you lovely lady.

 

An email would have been fine.

 

I would have especially liked the hunting down part. : - )  

 

Last I noticed I was ok.  

 

Been busy.  I did get back to you all this morning though.  I suppose with the time lag you won't see that or this until tomorrow sometime.  

 

 

Thank you for being concerned.  

 

 

 


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Posted on Jul 19, 2015 at 12:46 PM

Quoting author:[QUOTE_ID]2472709[/QUOTE_ID]

Hi Hope!!!!!!! : - ) 

 

I used to think I knew exactly what I wanted, but the lady I married proved me wrong way back then. 

 

I had a thing for tall brunettes.  I married a petite blonde. 

 

Now, well I have been reeducated. 

 

 

Some combinations of attributes trump everything.  .  


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Posted on Jul 19, 2015 at 12:21 PM

Quoting author:[QUOTE_ID]2472699[/QUOTE_ID]

Thanks for the comment.  Difficult to be anyone else.   Suppose her profile fits you very well mostly, but she has a favorite thing you never want to do.  Do you proceed to try to get acquainted or cross that one off.?  


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Posted on Jul 19, 2015 at 12:10 PM

Quoting author:[QUOTE_ID]2472694[/QUOTE_ID]

Not sure if the photo would help or hurt.  So far the women brave enough to actually meet me have not all ran off screaming into the night.  : - ) 

 

I am reasonably certain that everyone has a list whether or not they have put it down in print.  They also have a “real list,” a list that even they can’t articulate.  One that trumps what they think is their list every time.  Only meeting and more likely a series of meetings sorts that out.    

 

Sometimes some attributes or combinations of attributes can negate a bunch of things that would normally cause you to rule that person out.

 

Respect, appreciation, and just plain old everyone agrees niceness, will trump almost everything. 

 

 

Throw in smart and someone that appreciates my sense of humor and I am in serious danger.  : - )  


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Posted on Jul 19, 2015 at 11:28 AM

Quoting author:[QUOTE_ID]2472589[/QUOTE_ID]

Checking on you sugar!!!

 

Not like you to go several days without responding to others.. 

 

Hope you are well and happy.. 

 

Let us know! 

 

If I don't hear from you soon, I am going to email you and hunt you down! ;-) 


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Posted on Jul 18, 2015 at 03:03 PM

Hi RMAC!!!!! ;-) 

 

Me? Depends on what would be on the list. Some things are ABSOLUTE DEAL BREAKERS. 

IE: A man wanting children or if he is of another faith. 

If a man says he prefers tall women or he is not attracted to smaller women, then I know I am probably not going to wet his whistle, regardless how attracted I could be. 

 

I think a list is a great idea, so long as it depicts the truth of what one seeks and identifies it concisely. 

 

IE: I don't want a man who is gone all the time. I am dead serious about that. I am also serious about marriage. If a man cannot see himself married again, I want nothing to do with it. So if I meet someone of the non marrying mind set, I am not interested.

 

Most of us are old enough to know what we seek and mature enough to not get caught uo in things we do not want. 

 

If someone is NOT aware of their "check list," they need to do some self-evaluationa and searching. 

 

I know exactly what I want and seek. 


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Posted on Jul 18, 2015 at 09:30 AM

"I wondered, is this somewhat analogous to an ad for an employee?  Those are notorious for asking for way too much for the level offered.  So, the typical job seeker will say to themselves, “I can satisfy some of that so why not, the worst they can do is say no.”

 

It does feel that way, doesn't it and maybe it is true in some area's. I think that, for you, it is important to have a photo posted. By not having a photo up, you are not giving a rull picture (so to speak) of yourself. We need to see the whole package all at once. If we have to ask for you to send us your photo, via email or whatever, it puts us in a very tough position. What if there is no interest after viewing someone"s photo?? I personally, do not like being in that position. Maybe you will reconsider your position on posting a photo of yourself.


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Posted on Jul 17, 2015 at 05:35 PM

Quoting author:

rmac,

 

I don't cross myself completely off if I don't meet all their qualifications. I also don't necessarily disqualify them if they don't meet mine. It depends upon the situation. I imagine most everybody over 50 is similar.

I also don't get upset if I am rejected. I trust there's a good reason. By the time we've reached this age, we pretty much know what works and what doesn't.

 

When I look at a profile I look for red flags and yellow flags, and hope for mostly green flags. One red flag is a complete disqualification. Yellow flags mean to move with caution; it could be a red flag in disguise, or it could be perfectly OK or we could compromise.  Green's are a go.

 

For instance.... Mainstream doctors are red flags for me. My experience has taught me that I will probably encounter conflicts of interest because of my strong beliefs in natural medicine and that I'm a vegetarian. It usually ends up with the doctor trying to prove me wrong. I can accept the difference in philosophies, but they usually cannot because of their rigorous training. However, complimentary medicine doctors and most chiropractors and other natural-health oriented practitioners are green flags.

 

I am also pretty red or green on the age range. I've dated or lived with men within a  10-year range in both directions in the past, and I prefer men within a 2-year range.

 

Pets are a problem because of my allergies, so it's a red flag if he has a dog or cat in the house and a breed I'm allergic to. I know pets are as important as children and I would never want someone to have to choose between me and a pet that means the world to them. I give double-red flags to men who tell me they are willing to give up their pet. Perhaps if someone better came along they would give me up too. That's how most women think. One guy offered to pay for inhailers for me for the life of his cat. The health of my liver took priority over that relationship. ;-D

 

Sports is usually a yellow flag for me. I'm not a sports fan and I would be disappointing to anyone who is. It would depend upon the sport and level of watching or playing, and their expectation of my participation and enthusiasm. I was a sports widow once and don't want to be one again.

 

And where DO all those winks and mail come from? Beings from other dimensions trying to get in on the action, I guess. Ha!


BeWell,  Thanks for the comments.  I truly appreciate the well thought out responses I have gotten so far on this blog. 

 

I wondered, is this somewhat analogous to an ad for an employee?  Those are notorious for asking for way too much for the level offered.  So, the typical job seeker will say to themselves, “I can satisfy some of that so why not, the worst they can do is say no.”

 

Red flags, I look for excess interest in things I might be willing to do occasionally, but maybe not as often as they seem to Imply.  Also am cautious about things like, “must love to whatever.”

 

I probably cross myself off the list more often than I should.  


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Posted on Jul 17, 2015 at 05:09 PM

Quoting author:

  Very seldom do i read a no picture profile, and if I do and find something interesting they say I might consider making a connection. My exprience in the very few that I have contacted have caused me to back track when a picture is sent. Unfortunate but true.

 

  Even with pictures that are attractive, my visceral reaction to stereotypiclal yuda yuda that lacks some imagination tend to make me gag.

 

  As for the lists of requirements I tend to honour most as being thought out to some extent, but I do compare how they describe themselves and what they are looking for.

 

My brakes go one full stop when I see words like ?generous? ?allowance? or has an ego the height of Mt Everest.

 

That's the truth...the whole true..so help me....

 

   P.S.    Has anyone figured out  where some of  the people that send winks or mails come from???  All to often I have never seen some of those folks coming



Thanks for the comment.  I think most of the emails and winks I get come from women whose profile I have recently looked at.  Plus some who must have been doing random searches.  I do that too, so can’t complain.   Random searches that is.  Curiosity is a wonderful thing. 

 

I also look at income disparity between what they have and what they want.  Having once looked up the percentage of men whose income exceeds 100K , 150K, 250K, and so on, causes me to wonder if the requestor knows what they are asking for. 

 

 

Me too on words like generous etc.. 


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Posted on Jul 17, 2015 at 04:50 PM

Quoting author:

Hi mac22 - that is a great question you pose. Because we have to put something (or nothing) for most of these boxes, I would guess that if most things are in place, other things can be overlooked.

 

So, if a man is a bit over (or under) my age range, I would certainly still consider him - ditto on income and a couple of other things. There are obviously some things for me that are "must-haves" but a man reading my profile won't know what those are, just as I won't know what his are.

 

When I look at a man's profile, if I am way off on what he says he wants, I would not contact him. If I am more than 5 years older, I will not contact him. If he is looking for someone with a high income, I will not contact him. So i guess I am saying that I believe what people say they are looking for. If I am just a tiny bit off in one or two area's then I would indeed feel comfortable sending off an emai, just as I would hope they would do with me.


Thanks for the comment.  I tend to take the income request fairly seriously, but now have decided maybe I should not.  Reason:  Mine should read something like, “prefer not to disclose,” for both income and net worth.  It did once.  It does not now and I did not change it.  Guess you have to check on your own profile now and then.  Whoever changed it hasn’t the foggiest clue. 

I take age limits seriously, again maybe I should not.  Ladies express interest in me when I don’t fit their limits at all.  Mind you I am not complaining. 

 

Sometimes wonder if face to face words that scare me off would worry me at all.  Sometimes maybe yes, sometimes maybe no.   


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Posted on Jul 16, 2015 at 10:56 PM

rmac,

 

I don't cross myself completely off if I don't meet all their qualifications. I also don't necessarily disqualify them if they don't meet mine. It depends upon the situation. I imagine most everybody over 50 is similar.

I also don't get upset if I am rejected. I trust there's a good reason. By the time we've reached this age, we pretty much know what works and what doesn't.

 

When I look at a profile I look for red flags and yellow flags, and hope for mostly green flags. One red flag is a complete disqualification. Yellow flags mean to move with caution; it could be a red flag in disguise, or it could be perfectly OK or we could compromise.  Green's are a go.

 

For instance.... Mainstream doctors are red flags for me. My experience has taught me that I will probably encounter conflicts of interest because of my strong beliefs in natural medicine and that I'm a vegetarian. It usually ends up with the doctor trying to prove me wrong. I can accept the difference in philosophies, but they usually cannot because of their rigorous training. However, complimentary medicine doctors and most chiropractors and other natural-health oriented practitioners are green flags.

 

I am also pretty red or green on the age range. I've dated or lived with men within a  10-year range in both directions in the past, and I prefer men within a 2-year range.

 

Pets are a problem because of my allergies, so it's a red flag if he has a dog or cat in the house and a breed I'm allergic to. I know pets are as important as children and I would never want someone to have to choose between me and a pet that means the world to them. I give double-red flags to men who tell me they are willing to give up their pet. Perhaps if someone better came along they would give me up too. That's how most women think. One guy offered to pay for inhailers for me for the life of his cat. The health of my liver took priority over that relationship. ;-D

 

Sports is usually a yellow flag for me. I'm not a sports fan and I would be disappointing to anyone who is. It would depend upon the sport and level of watching or playing, and their expectation of my participation and enthusiasm. I was a sports widow once and don't want to be one again.

 

And where DO all those winks and mail come from? Beings from other dimensions trying to get in on the action, I guess. Ha!



BeWell and wishing you only the best ! ..................;-D
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Posted on Jul 16, 2015 at 07:46 PM

  Very seldom do i read a no picture profile, and if I do and find something interesting they say I might consider making a connection. My exprience in the very few that I have contacted have caused me to back track when a picture is sent. Unfortunate but true.

 

  Even with pictures that are attractive, my visceral reaction to stereotypiclal yuda yuda that lacks some imagination tend to make me gag.

 

  As for the lists of requirements I tend to honour most as being thought out to some extent, but I do compare how they describe themselves and what they are looking for.

 

My brakes go one full stop when I see words like ?generous? ?allowance? or has an ego the height of Mt Everest.

 

That's the truth...the whole true..so help me....

 

   P.S.    Has anyone figured out  where some of  the people that send winks or mails come from???  All to often I have never seen some of those folks coming


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Posted on Jul 16, 2015 at 05:25 PM

Hi mac22 - that is a great question you pose. Because we have to put something (or nothing) for most of these boxes, I would guess that if most things are in place, other things can be overlooked.

 

So, if a man is a bit over (or under) my age range, I would certainly still consider him - ditto on income and a couple of other things. There are obviously some things for me that are "must-haves" but a man reading my profile won't know what those are, just as I won't know what his are.

 

When I look at a man's profile, if I am way off on what he says he wants, I would not contact him. If I am more than 5 years older, I will not contact him. If he is looking for someone with a high income, I will not contact him. So i guess I am saying that I believe what people say they are looking for. If I am just a tiny bit off in one or two area's then I would indeed feel comfortable sending off an emai, just as I would hope they would do with me.


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