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Posted on Dec 20, 2014 at 09:48 PM

Part of my problem, as, probably uncaringly, people on my blog have pointed out, that I don't understand people's emotions and how to respond to situations.  I feel comfortable enough to say that that is a disability I have and I have even been discriminated and kicked out of places that are meant to help me with it.  That is the main reason I have been so angry and so bitter.  

 

For anyone I have offended, which is many I believe, I have been in a deep, dark place where noone understood me and the people that were supposed to help me hurt me instead.  Hopefully things continue to turn out better and better as I realize my potential and find better and more friends over time.


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Posted on Jan 30, 2015 at 05:39 PM

Quoting author:

Yes, I have a terrible social learning disability called Asperger's.  As for deleting my blog, changing my nickname, I wouldn't do that until I "own" my problem, as you allude to, though I still think that does make me someone with a disability and therefore a victim of some sense of the word.


Any ID that has fiend in it seems a bad choice to me.  Lots of people change their ID.  Unless they also delete their old blogs their old blogs just get a new ID atached to them.


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Posted on Jan 26, 2015 at 02:14 AM

Yes, I have a terrible social learning disability called Asperger's.  As for deleting my blog, changing my nickname, I wouldn't do that until I "own" my problem, as you allude to, though I still think that does make me someone with a disability and therefore a victim of some sense of the word.


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Posted on Jan 05, 2015 at 10:26 AM

Get rid of the victim mentality.  It might gain you a little sympathy, but it won't fix any problems.  It won’t get you any dates either. 

 

Become a victor.  Conquer your problems.  Face them and deal with them.  Not easy, of course not, it may take some time; a long time.  However, you really have no choice.  Otherwise you will stay exactly as you are. 


Start on the path.  Several people have made suggestions.  Do some of them.  Hold your head up.  Act with integrity.  Respect yourself. 


Be the person you mean to be.  Act that way, talk that way, write that way. 


And -- change your ID.   


Good luck.

 


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Posted on Dec 28, 2014 at 04:45 AM

You have to do what makes you happy. If you want to be different from who you are then you need to make those changes. If you find that it doesn't make you happy you need to think what is more important pleasing others or yourself. Do you have aspergers? If you do maybe looking at support networks. 

 

Sarah 


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Posted on Dec 25, 2014 at 06:10 PM

I've tried all those things already.  Thanks for trying to help though.  I have a plan now, kinda.  Though not anything mentioned. (other than making a plan.)


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Posted on Dec 25, 2014 at 12:42 AM

Tivo - Roc and Dakota do have some very valid points... 

 

I'm not sure what you are looking for though... or if you can find it in here. 

 

Let's face it, you ARE nerdy and that is what you will attract, the problem is this place isn't exactly packed with nerdy girls, is it!? And since you don't want to change, perhaps you should look for girls somewhere else!? 

 

Regarding your whining... it destroys all chances of a good relationship. You're looking for a girlfriend, right, and not a mother to pity and take care of you. Emotionally healthy girls want their man to be stable, strong and protective, NOT whiny and weak. I'm sorry to be blunt but it's the truth... (note that whiny/weak and sensitive are not the same though).

 

At least consider what everyone has said in this thread... then make the changes you CAN make, without as you say, being someone you're not. 

 

Dakota, I'm curious, what (supplements?) would you suggest he'd try for his depression? 


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Posted on Dec 24, 2014 at 05:53 PM

YES SERIOUSLY.  You're asking me to be fake, put on a show, be someone I'm not, instead of who I am.  That would be pathetic.  Especially covering up what I've said online because I'm somehow now ashamed of it.


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Posted on Dec 24, 2014 at 06:12 AM

You're a strange guy.  I'll just say it goes a lot deeper than just depression.

One of the problems I face is that in America men are expected to be macho.  In Europe it's easier to be an atheist, be a sensitive male, and have social mobility.

Any way, even though you've said things that at least sounded hurtful before, I never did complain or what's called block you because I valued your freedom of speech.


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Posted on Dec 23, 2014 at 02:38 PM

Hola TIVO...time to be happy  with...or without...feeling great and  showing these nice smile ! Merry Christmas !!!


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Posted on Dec 23, 2014 at 02:09 AM

Hi TIVO !

 

Im glad you are feeling better now..I salute to you for being open about what you feel ...Im sorry for what  happened to you..The best I can advice you is to consult a Doctor of your choice by then you have somebody to talk to without any inhibitions because that is their job to listen to you and help you ..I wish you the very best of luck ...MERRY CHRISTMAS AND MAY THE SEASON BRINGS YOU HAPPINESS !! 

 

 

   MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL !! 


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Posted on Dec 22, 2014 at 09:34 PM

PS:  And I forgot to mention.....you ARE handsome.....welllll.....better looking than average!  *wink*  :))  If you dressed sharper I'd give you handsome.  But you're really tall.  How many more natural resources do you want?  You have what it takes....you're just not executing effectively.

 

I get it that you're cerebral.....but perhaps you could use a little more physical activity.  If the gym is not to your taste (I hate the gym) take up a sport.  Swimming....or even biking are awesome.  You only compete with yourself. 

 

SET A GOAL!!!! 


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Posted on Dec 22, 2014 at 08:46 PM

Dearest Tivo,

I felt saddened when I read your post and have thought about you for a couple of days, trying to figure out how I wanted to respond to you.  I don't know you and don't know the issues you struggle with, but let me assure you....we all have struggled in our lives with self-doubt, insecurities and even at times self-loathing. 

 

I would hope this blogging community is not the entity you speak of as "hurting you"....but perhaps some of our responses have been hurtful no doubt.  But you must understand, there are all types of people in this world and you are responsible for your own emotions and how you allow others to affect you.  Easier said than done!  But sometimes it is also important to do self inventories/assessments to determine what part your behavior plays in how people respond to you.  If you are not obtaining the desired outcome....you may have to work to make changes in your behavior.  I'm not saying you have to be someone you're not, but you can learn friendship skills by watching how other people interact with others.

 

I'm basically blabbering here....and don't really have a clear point because I don't know what your struggles are.  All I can share with you is how I deal with my life.  I make lots of goals for myself:   short term goals, mid-term goals and long term goals.  I have even made written lists of criteria or actions I needed to take to progress toward a goal and checked them off when accomplished.  It doesn't matter what it is.  I establish a goal, develop a plan, implement the plan and evaluate the effectiveness of the plan.  This really helps me to feel in control of myself, my experiences....my future.

 

Tivo, you are young, healthy, smart and live in the USA!!  Please don't allow yourself to talk negatively to yourself!

Warm wishes,

Diana


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Posted on Dec 21, 2014 at 11:54 AM

I'm glad you're feeling better. 

 

I think you need to find the right people to help you, people who understand you and your problems... 

 

Here are some suggestions and thoughts that may help you: 

 

- Be calm, clear and direct when you ask for help. Say "I have this and that problem, I'm here to get help, do you think you can help me?", and if they are rude or seem incapable of helping you, tell them just that and leave. DON'T stay and get more hurt. 

 

- Depression is in most cases caused by an imbalance in the brain and can be treated in many ways. Make sure you get the right treatment for you. 

 

- Let go of the past. As said never let your past ruin your future. It's true people can choose to treat you bad, but YOU can choose to not let it get to you, to walk away and to move on. 

 

- Realizing your potential and finding better and more friends is a great idea. That "move" alone will have a more positive effect on your life than all of my suggestions above combined. Look for meet up/volunteer groups in your area (Meetup . com), it's a great way to meet new friends plus people who take part in those are usually nice, kind and positive. 

 

- I agree people with depression can't just snap out of it and be happy, BUT they (you) can get best possible treatment and CHOOSE to let go of their past and create a new future for themselves. 

 

I think it's super strong of you to talk about your problems in here, and to acknowledge and fight them as well. There's no doubt in my mind that you will get through this and come out on the other side. I wish you the best of luck with everything. 


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