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rmac22
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Posted on Fri, Jan 24, 2014 07:04

 

Good2BTheKing,

 

 

 

Good advice for any woman I should think. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jenknee,

 

 

 

From some of the stuff I have read, he will know even if he doesn’t know how he knows.  Can’t prove it, but ….

 



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rmac22
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Posted on Fri, Jan 24, 2014 06:55

 

Hi Diana, 

 

 

 

Some of what you are saying is not that far off from some of the stuff the people who do research on ancient primitive societies are saying.   Helen Fisher has her theories.  You might find them interesting. 

 

 

 

The different researchers have differing opinions.  Maybe these differing opinions are because there were varying patterns in the different ancient primitive societies.  I haven’t done enough reading on the subject to really say much and that reading was back more than a few years.

 

 

 

I respectfully disagree on one comment though.  That comment being, “This is why many men are so adamant about monogamy.  They jealously guard their female, like a bowl of food so as not to chance losing her.”  

 

 

 

I suspect almost all men are adamant about monogamy.  It is hard wired.  Ancient men that did not care raised other men’s children.  We are almost all descended from those that would have “killed” her if she messed around.  

 



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Jenkneee
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Posted on Fri, Jan 24, 2014 02:23

Because she's in Vegas, she's drunk and actually believes what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.



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Good2BTheKing Recommended
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Posted on Thu, Jan 23, 2014 20:42

You'd better think twice about cheating if you're married to a woman with Judo-Christian morals.



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Curious2078
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Posted on Thu, Jan 23, 2014 17:53

Quoting Dakota35:

Well said.  That's why I like you Pat.  Always keeping it real.



Hi, Dakota.  Thanks for the comment.  I love you too.



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Diana3316
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Posted on Thu, Jan 23, 2014 17:32

 

Well, one thing is that we are all looking at this issue through an older lens.   Once you get to our ages, we have had a lot of experiences and appreciate the importance of a committed, soul mate type of relationship.  We have also likely become more at peace and things that might have seemed important in a relationship don’t seem quite as important.  I know I’m not nearly as interested in swinging from the chandeliers or other various acrobats, as I was when I was a younger woman.  *wink* lol

 

 

 

I’ve written about this in the past.  I believe the seven year itch is a real thing and it originates from the woman.  While it may be true that the male is hard wired for procreation….so is the female.  Every seven years or so, the female may become dissatisfied and have urges to leave or drive the male away….in order to be able to take another mate, thereby diversifying the gene pool.  Her tool of choice is usually sex….withholding it usually but sometimes cheating.  A married man may cheat….but he will NOT typically leave the wife for another; unless she makes it so unpleasant at home that it drives him out.  While a woman, if she cheats…..she is usually gone, for sure emotionally, unless she has young children to feed or other reasons for staying.  This is why many men are so adamant about monogamy.  They jealously guard their female, like a bowl of food so as not to chance losing her. 

 

 

 

On average, I think today’s woman mates three times.  The first to have her babies, the second time around her 40s to have fun, fun, fun…often with a younger man…...and the third time until death do us part, with her soul mate.

 

 

 

Years ago, these types of female instincts were repressed by men.  While men enjoyed their sexual ‘privileges’ and society looked the other way…..women were indoctrinated with Judo-Christian morals, few education and/or economic opportunities which kept them under control.

 

 

 

Of course these are just my opinions and I may be full of crap.  There are always exceptions and my opinions are not really based on any scientific knowledge.  JMO  *wink*

 



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marbellaspain
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Posted on Thu, Jan 23, 2014 12:44

Rmac22,you have to be with two you know?Its seems that only married

 

 

Like i said in my comment.

 

I don´t know about the reasons of cheating,i still can´t read minds,they have always an excuse,i only know,womans do it also..worked in many countrys in bars,discos,guide etc...saw enough and still see enough.Its a bit hypocrite from womans to acuse men about cheating,you still need two persons to dance the tango...

It comes over to me that men cheat only with single womans and the single womans only meet married men.

I saw woman from my own country knowing them personal comming on holiday with another man and vice versa.And afterworths comming back with there spouses....asking me not saying anything.

Had an experience about 2 years  ago,american woman on holiday here in spain,invitated me to come to her hotel...at the end she said,she was married,still living in the same house etc...and a lot of excuses why she didt this.

Do i feel bad? Nope,i´m single,i can do whatever i want,and second,i´m not interrested why she dous it,i´m not the one to judge,point.

One thing about this is,i learnt alot...and i will never do the same,ones i´m in a relationship.I desided for myself,no mather how much it hurts,i will break up a relation instead of cheating on it.

But again,thats my oppinion,and its not at me to tell others what to do,nor to tell the treated spouse whats going on...and in case the question comming up,nope neiter when the treated is my best friend,like i said,learnt to much lessons in my life.

And to give a hint,woman do it for the same reasons like men,even when they behave different.

The most un acceptable reason i always hear is,i was drunk...get of with that,if i´m so drunk,i don´t realise that i´m cheating,i´m not even capable to cheat...keep that in mind the next time someone cheat on you ;-)



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rmac22
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Posted on Thu, Jan 23, 2014 10:13

 

3345roc,

 

 

 

Good questions, I suspect all the possibilities are possible.  He can be bored, she can be bored, or both can be bored.  I would guess that seldom does a bored person think they might be the boring one. 

 

 

 

I agree -- regardless of the reasons (or excuses) the decision to cheat belongs to the cheater alone.   

 



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Dakota35
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Posted on Thu, Jan 23, 2014 08:53

Quoting Curious2078:

Boredom?  Surely that's one of the reasons.  But what kind of man or woman gets bored with their relationship and decides to cheat to fix the boredom? 

 

I'd say it's someone without a heck of a lot of morals.  A pretty darn shallow person indeed. Not to mention pretty darn narcissistic.  Pretty much the kind of person most of us would be better off without!  So...let him/her go and move on.   

 

Just MHO



Well said.  That's why I like you Pat.  Always keeping it real.



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3345roc
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Posted on Thu, Jan 23, 2014 06:55

If you're in a relationship I wonder if it takes two to be bored or can you be bored all by yourself.  Do you take responsibility for your half of the boredom?  Who is the "borer" and who is the "boree".  Have you considered that you might be the boring one?

 

If you're in an agreed upon exclusive, monogamous relationship and you don't honor your commitment you're a cheat.  It might be be boring to admit but it doesn't have anything to do with your partner.



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rmac22
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Posted on Thu, Jan 23, 2014 06:42

 

Curious,

 

 

 

I agree, a decision to cheat to cure boredom would be pretty much reprehensible.  But then cheating is well cheating.  Cheating is all by itself pretty much reprehensible.  The fact that sometimes people slip up in a weak moment is a sad fact of life.  Unfortunately there is no fixing it after the fact.  It might be forgiven, but the person doing the forgiving will never get over it. 

 



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rmac22
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Posted on Thu, Jan 23, 2014 06:39

 

marbellaspain,

 

 

 

Many, but not all reasons work both ways.  There are differences in the way men and women behave.

 



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rmac22
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Posted on Thu, Jan 23, 2014 06:39

 

Diana, 

 

 

 

I suppose boredom might be the starting or root cause, but it seems to me that more likely the attempts to fix it have been met with resistance or have been simply ignored.  Would she then decide to cheat to fix it.  Can’t imagine it.  Don’t think many if any start off their marriage with the idea that they are going to cheat at some point.  Most likely scenario is she is bored, ignored, neglected, resentful, and angry.  Now she is vulnerable and someone she knows is available to take advantage of it.  Most likely the decision is spur of the moment and a weak moment at that. 

 



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Curious2078
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Posted on Wed, Jan 22, 2014 17:12

Quoting Diana3316:

Don't forget boredom.  



Boredom?  Surely that's one of the reasons.  But what kind of man or woman gets bored with their relationship and decides to cheat to fix the boredom? 

 

I'd say it's someone without a heck of a lot of morals.  A pretty darn shallow person indeed. Not to mention pretty darn narcissistic.  Pretty much the kind of person most of us would be better off without!  So...let him/her go and move on.   

 

Just MHO



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marbellaspain
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Posted on Wed, Jan 22, 2014 09:14

Yep,agree boredom,is also a reason for woman but also for men.

Pfff,always same topics...we can go on endless on that,i think both man and woman cheat for the same reasons,only i think,that woman hold themself more backwards,are not so impulsive like men are.But in the basic...boredom,not be appreciated etc...,i´m reading a book now from "Santa Montefiore" The Affair,its fiction,but a lot of truth in it also.

 



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Diana3316
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Posted on Wed, Jan 22, 2014 07:05

Don't forget boredom.  



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