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tivo_fiend
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Posted on Wed, Jan 01, 2014 11:50

How do you know if a profile is real or not?

Well, if the pictures aren't flattering, the profile might be honest.  If the person is so honest it's unbelievable, it's probably honest.

On the other hand, if the profile is your fantasy woman/man that you've been always looking for, well... it could be fake.

As a skeptic, I couldn't help but say it.

Also for those "The Secret" people.  You might want to read "The Believing Brain" by Michael Shermer.  It goes into how people believe things, well just because they like it or other people do.



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tivo_fiend
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Posted on Wed, Jan 01, 2014 19:17

Quoting NovemberJuliett:

Good!  Happy to help ;-)

 

I'm sure this is not the typical place to find advice but if you take the stuff you read here on the site with a pinch of salf you're already half way to finding love, or at least recognizing it in a crowded room ...;-))

 

at least that's what I hope !

 

my eyes are about to fall into my mouth, I haven't slept in 48 hours and I'm moving house tomorrow, so I'll have to check on how you're doing in a couple of days once I settle in. It was nice talking to you , Tivo.... funny nickname for someone that obviously  reads so much ;-))

 

 

 

 



Thanks for the advice and encouragement, and thanks for sticking it out so late in the UK.  You could talk to me any time.  Looking forward to seeing you online.  Get some sleep.



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NovemberJuliett Recommended
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Posted on Wed, Jan 01, 2014 19:10

Good!  Happy to help ;-)

 

I'm sure this is not the typical place to find advice but if you take the stuff you read here on the site with a pinch of salf you're already half way to finding love, or at least recognizing it in a crowded room ...;-))

 

at least that's what I hope !

 

my eyes are about to fall into my mouth, I haven't slept in 48 hours and I'm moving house tomorrow, so I'll have to check on how you're doing in a couple of days once I settle in. It was nice talking to you , Tivo.... funny nickname for someone that obviously  reads so much ;-))

 

 

 

 



I have a dog. I run my own finishing school and I take prisoners

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tivo_fiend
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Posted on Wed, Jan 01, 2014 18:30

Quoting NovemberJuliett:

ohoho, I see now where you're coming from ;-))

I graduated specializing in Political Sciences and PR. Depressed the life out of me at the time..., I wasn't a happy bunny in college, too argumentative I guess.

Once you learn the tricks of the trade and how it's done you can't stand the hypocrisy of paying for you newspaper subscription or TV only to be fed such BS on a daily basis... Hmmm.....

 

But I ended up doing something completely different and turning to post grad  in Fine Art Criticism.... much more surreal and also obscene but in a rather pleasing  way ;-))

 

and yes, reading Political Sciences  or plainly reading anything by Dawkins, Hitchens or Dennet makes you want to cry and say "oh my God!"  but for different reasons that the rest of people . You also do tend to end up in futile arguments with almost anybody over what you believe in...

 

Nowadays, I'm so chilled about it I actually have become the opposite. I read, I muse upon it and move on ... Pretty sad in a way, as I was a brilliant litigator... but so time consuming  and nothing ever changes on the big scale anyway....

 

I guess priorities change, and I realised that some of these things are not vital barometers for an amorous connection. I also learned to respect others and their own experiences more in the last 5-6 years, but I only learned that lesson the hard way, through personal grief that has opened my eyes as to what life, loss and love really are all about. Some people go through the same motions and choose diffrently. I guess that's the beauty of humanity. By the way, I am not an atheist per se... I just believe in the energy that powers our bodies in a different spiritual way that just changes shape when our bodies die...To me, this makes sense haha

 

;-))  NOW CHEER UP!! 

 

I agree with your friends, you have to bend a little to go a long way...;-) and having a negative perspective will stop you from meeting nice women...

 

You don't have to do drugs for that... BUT HAVING A DRINK MIGHT HELP ;-))



Wow, someone on the same wavelength as me, regarding Dawkins and Political Science.  I thought that'd never happen. :-)

You and me are a lot alike, it's scary.  Yeah, I'm going that direction now. More chill, less anger.  Also true, like you say: a lot of work, and nothing changes on the big scale.  I had a weird phase where I thought everybody had a moral obligation to know the truth behind things.  Turns out most people just want to have a beer and make out with their significant other, and maybe an ex or a one-night stand while their at it.

I agree with the lightening up part.  Taking the advice from someone that sees the world my way makes a big difference, rather than the trite "It'll get better." I always get.



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NovemberJuliett Recommended
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Posted on Wed, Jan 01, 2014 18:21

ohoho, I see now where you're coming from ;-))

I graduated specializing in Political Sciences and PR. Depressed the life out of me at the time..., I wasn't a happy bunny in college, too argumentative I guess.

Once you learn the tricks of the trade and how it's done you can't stand the hypocrisy of paying for you newspaper subscription or TV only to be fed such BS on a daily basis... Hmmm.....

 

But I ended up doing something completely different and turning to post grad  in Fine Art Criticism.... much more surreal and also obscene but in a rather pleasing  way ;-))

 

and yes, reading Political Sciences  or plainly reading anything by Dawkins, Hitchens or Dennet makes you want to cry and say "oh my God!"  but for different reasons that the rest of people . You also do tend to end up in futile arguments with almost anybody over what you believe in...

 

Nowadays, I'm so chilled about it I actually have become the opposite. I read, I muse upon it and move on ... Pretty sad in a way, as I was a brilliant litigator... but so time consuming  and nothing ever changes on the big scale anyway....

 

I guess priorities change, and I realised that some of these things are not vital barometers for an amorous connection. I also learned to respect others and their own experiences more in the last 5-6 years, but I only learned that lesson the hard way, through personal grief that has opened my eyes as to what life, loss and love really are all about. Some people go through the same motions and choose diffrently. I guess that's the beauty of humanity. By the way, I am not an atheist per se... I just believe in the energy that powers our bodies in a different spiritual way that just changes shape when our bodies die...To me, this makes sense haha

 

;-))  NOW CHEER UP!! 

 

I agree with your friends, you have to bend a little to go a long way...;-) and having a negative perspective will stop you from meeting nice women...

 

You don't have to do drugs for that... BUT HAVING A DRINK MIGHT HELP ;-))



I have a dog. I run my own finishing school and I take prisoners

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tivo_fiend
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Posted on Wed, Jan 01, 2014 17:45

Quoting NovemberJuliett:

Tivo, 

 

If all women were like me the world would be a very boring place ;-))

 

Why are you pessimistic? or about what exactly? Online dating? 

 

 

Or humanity ? ( I guess that's a serious problem, haha)

 

 

 

 



Hmm... well, for years people tell me that I'm too "negative" to get a girlfriend.  I tell them just because I don't get drunk and do drugs and have unplanned kids and I'm proud of it doesn't make me "negative". LOL  Oh, and I actually follow rules and am ethical.  Damn it all.

I am pessimistic about humanity though.  I've seen too much from my Political Science and Religious Studies courses.  Noone on TV gives the truth straight and I expect too much now.  See, you're from the UK, so you might not understand how messed up the news is over here.  I heard over there you can be an atheist and people will be like "So what?"  I'm stuck over here in a Christian, Republican, country-music-lovin' neighborhood.  They see me come over with my socialist (Social Democratic), atheist, giant brain and they think I'm working for the dark side.

If women were all like you, it'd be boring?  Hard to believe, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. ;-) 



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NovemberJuliett Recommended
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Posted on Wed, Jan 01, 2014 17:01

Tivo, 

 

If all women were like me the world would be a very boring place ;-))

 

Why are you pessimistic? or about what exactly? Online dating? 

 

 

Or humanity ? ( I guess that's a serious problem, haha)

 

 

 

 


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I have a dog. I run my own finishing school and I take prisoners

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tivo_fiend
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Posted on Wed, Jan 01, 2014 16:49

Quoting NovemberJuliett:

Well, you'd be surprised how many people find it necessary to post old pictures , like 10-15 years ago... That's almost like a fake profile, no? or even give a fake first name? What's up with that?! why invent a first name?? It's not like your real name is Barack ;-)) 

 

Or lie about their age?? with 10 years? Hilarious when you actually go into details as in, how old are your kids and oopss that happened durin Reagan administration ;-) 

 

 

I met a guy once and I really liked him initially, but found out when we met he was 56 instead of 46. I mean, I have nothing against 56 in the first place but he also had some idea that women over 40 were somewhat finished...hahaha. So I decided to set him straight and told him some of the most amazing women I know are over 40 and he does not deserve to be with a cookie like me as a prize for thinking like that . And I refused to see him. And I liked him, and his 56 years!

 

Or another one, who was actually a sweet guy and said he was 46 but then in a private picture of him and his car you could see he actually went to the trouble of getting a private license plate that had his initials and 1961 ( which made him 52 at the time ;-))) hahaha...  I never said anything to him and didn't meet in the end but noticed later he changed his age to say 50.... At least that was more reasonable. Sort of.

 

I guess a fake profile can only last as long as you meet the person... who can sustain a lie in real life? or with the internet nowadays it is very easy to find out if someone is real .

 

 I can say I am happy I never got screwed by scammers... maybe because I am such an arrogant bitch that I expect them to actually be nice to me first instead of me being nice to them?;-)) Oh how I despise the sugar boys...or whatever the term is for men preying on women...

 

Of course it happens the other way around too, but maybe I dislike it more in the first instance because women have such a built-in mode for wanting to believe they are loved and that the story is real that they will even fall for the guy...



That's some freakin' amazing stories.  I enjoy hearing these, it confirms what I believe about humanity.  ;-) I'm perverse that way.

It's too bad you live so far from me, I like to talk about this stuff on a daily basis.  I'm so pessimistic.

If I had my way, all women would be like you, standing up for themselves, and it wouldn't be called being a b-word, it would just be normal.  Like, should a woman be called a b---- for asking for respect? No.  Yet men get away with bad things, and it's just like: Hey, he's a guy.  WTH.  Anyway.

PS Makes me feel a lot better about verifying my age. :-)



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NovemberJuliett Recommended
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Posted on Wed, Jan 01, 2014 16:19

Well, you'd be surprised how many people find it necessary to post old pictures , like 10-15 years ago... That's almost like a fake profile, no? or even give a fake first name? What's up with that?! why invent a first name?? It's not like your real name is Barack ;-)) 

 

Or lie about their age?? with 10 years? Hilarious when you actually go into details as in, how old are your kids and oopss that happened durin Reagan administration ;-) 

 

 

I met a guy once and I really liked him initially, but found out when we met he was 56 instead of 46. I mean, I have nothing against 56 in the first place but he also had some idea that women over 40 were somewhat finished...hahaha. So I decided to set him straight and told him some of the most amazing women I know are over 40 and he does not deserve to be with a cookie like me as a prize for thinking like that . And I refused to see him. And I liked him, and his 56 years!

 

Or another one, who was actually a sweet guy and said he was 46 but then in a private picture of him and his car you could see he actually went to the trouble of getting a private license plate that had his initials and 1961 ( which made him 52 at the time ;-))) hahaha...  I never said anything to him and didn't meet in the end but noticed later he changed his age to say 50.... At least that was more reasonable. Sort of.

 

I guess a fake profile can only last as long as you meet the person... who can sustain a lie in real life? or with the internet nowadays it is very easy to find out if someone is real .

 

 I can say I am happy I never got screwed by scammers... maybe because I am such an arrogant bitch that I expect them to actually be nice to me first instead of me being nice to them?;-)) Oh how I despise the sugar boys...or whatever the term is for men preying on women...

 

Of course it happens the other way around too, but maybe I dislike it more in the first instance because women have such a built-in mode for wanting to believe they are loved and that the story is real that they will even fall for the guy...



I have a dog. I run my own finishing school and I take prisoners

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