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Why Online Love Strikes Sooner… Sort by:
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Posted on Mon, Sep 30, 2013 23:33

 

Let’s look at the benefits and pitfalls of both extremes…

In Praise of Fast-Trackers:

The appeal of meeting online dating newbies is their fresh perspective and positive energy. Unsullied by disappointment and tolerant of profile clichés, they’re generally excited about meeting people and expect the process to work. They look for common ground or are open to new adventures. They say, “Here I am. I’ve posted my profile and am ready to find love. That’s great you’re into skiing because I love to ski!” or “You like ballroom dancing? Well, I’ve never tried that before, but why not?” When you approach love with that kind of open mind, you leave room for magic to happen.

There is a potential downside, though: Even if you’re thrilled with your new love, you can’t help but wonder if you’ve put enough time into your search. One colleague whose boyfriend was the first person she met online confessed that she sometimes wonders if she should have spent a few weeks to see who else was out there before committing so quickly. Even if you’re smitten from the beginning, it doesn’t hurt to meet a few more folks before taking down your profile. That way you’ll be extra confident of your choice.

The Lure of Serial Dating:

Serial dating gets a bad rap. Players have been long accused of being too picky or too reluctant to commit, instead preferring to binge in the “Candy Store” of online love, where it’s relatively easy to meet someone new. But sampling the dating buffet can serve a good purpose, namely by giving you a chance to find out exactly what floats your boat. It’s a sort of self-discovery process, especially if you’re coming off a long relationship or bad breakup. Perhaps you’ll learn that it’s important for you to date someone who exercises every morning or who likes a similar amount of cuddling or television. By becoming clear about what you want, you’ll more likely to recognize that person when he or she shows up on date 29.

The challenge, of course, is becoming too committed to your checklist and not giving people who might be good partners in the long run a fair chance. Resist the temptation to seek out the reasons you shouldn’t date them and stay positive. But be mindful of going on so many dates that you feel burned out. When you arrive at dates feeling as though you’re checking a box – your butterflies having flown away a long ago – it’s time to slow down.

So what makes serial daters finally become serious? All that volume doesn’t necessarily improve their chances of finding a “soul mate.” One friend admitted that after years of dating, he wasn’t sure his current girlfriend was any better of a match than the others. He was just tired and wanted to stop dating.

“Who knows if we’ll like each other?” I thought. “So let’s just enjoy this glass of Malbec.”

 



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Dakota35
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Posted on Fri, Oct 04, 2013 01:22

Quoting rmac22:

Once while looking for a job I was interviewed by a company I was very interested in.  A few days after the interview I was informed that they liked me a lot, but they had xx more candidates to interview.  Each week I was informed I was still their number one candidate.  This went on week by week candidate by candidate.  Meanwhile I was interviewing other companies.    Finally I interviewed a company that offered me a job on the spot.  I called the multiple interview company up to see if they could cut the process short and make me an offer.  They could not – they had one more person to interview. 


 

They asked, “Is other job as good as the one we are offering?”  I answered, “You know I don’t know, but they had no trouble making me a great offer for a great job and I am taking it.”

 

 

RMac

 

 



GREAT STORY, RMac.  Kind of what I said, but your story is so much better.  Maybe some woman will offer me a job...soon!  I have a few application in, but nothing yet.  I don't need any of that serial dating stuff.  Just a good woman that I fit with, and she with me.



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rmac22
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Posted on Thu, Oct 03, 2013 21:37

Once while looking for a job I was interviewed by a company I was very interested in.  A few days after the interview I was informed that they liked me a lot, but they had xx more candidates to interview.  Each week I was informed I was still their number one candidate.  This went on week by week candidate by candidate.  Meanwhile I was interviewing other companies.    Finally I interviewed a company that offered me a job on the spot.  I called the multiple interview company up to see if they could cut the process short and make me an offer.  They could not – they had one more person to interview. 


 

They asked, “Is other job as good as the one we are offering?”  I answered, “You know I don’t know, but they had no trouble making me a great offer for a great job and I am taking it.”

 

 

RMac

 

 



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Dakota35
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Posted on Tue, Oct 01, 2013 19:32

Rezi, you must remember something.  You are a attractive young woman that probably attracts many men with ease.  Thus, you have the ability to "Fast-Track" and "Serial Date".  But just imagine the lady or man that wasn't born lucky in looks, maybe over-weight, has a few children, working ever day just to make ends meet.  Really they do not have the options you explained.

 

Also, if you find a person and even if they do not have everything you are seeking, but they make you happy.  Then why look for anyone else?  Don't you really have all that you need?  Sometimes what you think that you want in a mate, really doesn't fit long term.  I learned that from experience, so now I'm much less selective and more open minded in many areas.



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Livnlov
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Posted on Tue, Oct 01, 2013 16:10

I so love your blogs!

 

Liv.



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