#1 Dating Site for Successful Singles and Admirers
Millionaire Blogs > Orlando__'s blogs > How Sex Can Ruin Your Relationship
How Sex Can Ruin Your Relationship Sort by:
Author
Orlando__
Certified Millionaire
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 128
Posted on Sun, Jun 02, 2013 06:43

Professors Sassler, Addo, and Lichter's work on sex and relationship quality has shown that sex too early results in unhappier relationships later.  Their work was published in The Journal of Marriage and Family. The authors used the Marital and Relationship Survey, which provided information on nearly 600 married or cohabiting couples. 

Over one third of those surveyed became sexually involved within the first month of the relationship while one quarter waited 6 months or more. The researchers then examined how the speed of entry into sexual involvement was associated with higher or lower estimates of these measures of relationship quality.

"Women who entered into sexual relationships with their current partners the most rapidly reported significantly lower levels of relationship satisfaction than those who waited somewhat longer before becoming sexually involved. Women are just more sensitive to relationship-quality issues than are men," said lead author Sharon Sassler. This breakdown in a quality relationship is "largely driven by entry into cohabitation." For men, higher levels of sexual satisfaction and lower levels of conflict were reported,  but it was primarily women who were dissatisfied with the quality of the relationship later.


Sassler, S., Addo, F. R., & Lichter, D. T. (2012). The Tempo of Sexual Activity and Later Relationship Quality. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74(4), 708-725.



**My top strength is"learning." So, my blogs are learning-focused. ~Orlando

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Dakota35
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1229
Posted on Mon, Jun 10, 2013 03:09

Stopping sex in a relationship can also ruin a relationship.



Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Livnlov
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 719
Posted on Sun, Jun 09, 2013 19:05

Quoting Diana3316:

Hmmm...I think we need more data Professor.  I think Ms. Sassler is leaping to conclusions and unless you have only provided the cliff notes, the study is flawed and not scientific.  There could be too many variables which account for the woman's relationship satisfaction, including duration of relationship, age when relationship was entered, religion, her health, financial stability, health of the partner....etc...etc.

 

Duration of relationship is a central factor that should be considered and adjusted for.  I very much believe in the seven year itch and think many times that it is really the woman that gets it.

 

Never the less, I think it is true that women tend to fall in love with the person they are intimate with, which may cloud good judgement in partner selection from the very start.  A couple of years down the road, she figures out, "Gee, I've made a big mistake!"  lolo



Diana, 

 

I couldn't agree more!

 

And there is, of course, the other end of the spectrum which is not mentioned here at all where the couple wait for very long [perhaps until they marry for religious or whatever reasons] before they have sex, and the end result sadly ends up being an utterly disappointing disaster. They either stay in the marriage to save face whilst feeling unhappy, miserable and trapped or they call it quits with the shitty marriage or relationship. In that scenario, the longer wait actually breeds a greater level of disatisfaction with the marriage or relationship, so this study having ignored that spectrum is rather circumspect, and thereby leading to what I will call "take it with a pinch of salt".

 

Talk about buying an Austin Martin without first test-driving it....not a great idea.

 

Liv.



Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Hoping4Love2000
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1324
Posted on Wed, Jun 05, 2013 21:15

Quoting rmac22:

 Valuing a woman and making her feel valued are vastly different things.  You can think the sun rises, sets, and spins around her, but if you don’t tend to the little things she won’t feel valued, and won’t feel loved.  Being considerate is one of the little things except when it isn’t there.  Then it is huge. 

 

RMac

 

 



OH RMAC---

 

If that isn't the truth! EXCELLENT STATEMENT! 

 

I've learned a lot over the years for sure... and ONE THING I realize now is... 

 

A man's ACTIONS speak VOLUMES to me.. (Hence, WHY I am so staunch on being approached appropriately.) 

 

I have NO DOUBT my children's father "valued" me... 

 

BUT, he didn't hold the proper "emotional" tools in showing me that value... 

 

He still doesn't to this day,,, and THAT is exactly why, for years, I refused to go back; though he tried. And why I KNOW now what I NEED to make me happy.. 

 

Reminds me of the old saying, "It isn't WHAT you say; it's HOW you say it!"

 

THAT'S how I sense VALUE... 



Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
rmac22
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 809
Posted on Tue, Jun 04, 2013 17:49

Quoting Hoping4Love2000:

I can absolutely understand this... 

 

Makes sense!! I believe many women have a need to feel "valued" as an individual, especially in a society where women are "still" trying to catch up with men career wise. 

 

Being a stay at home mom for 11 years, I did not feel valued.. However, despite the fact my ex would come home and track his nasty shoes I begged him to take off since I had just mopped the floor, (and he didn't) ...

 

I can honestly say NOW, many moons and years later,,,

 

I truly did not value myself... His actions were just "confirmation" of my own feelings of inadequacy. 

 

Also, sex can ruin a relationship, if you have it with someone else,,,, 

 

and don't have permission! OOPS!! (DARN THAT BUS!!) 

Bwahahahaha!!!



 Valuing a woman and making her feel valued are vastly different things.  You can think the sun rises, sets, and spins around her, but if you don’t tend to the little things she won’t feel valued, and won’t feel loved.  Being considerate is one of the little things except when it isn’t there.  Then it is huge. 

 

RMac

 

 



Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Hoping4Love2000
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1324
Posted on Sun, Jun 02, 2013 16:17

I can absolutely understand this... 

 

Makes sense!! I believe many women have a need to feel "valued" as an individual, especially in a society where women are "still" trying to catch up with men career wise. 

 

Being a stay at home mom for 11 years, I did not feel valued.. However, despite the fact my ex would come home and track his nasty shoes I begged him to take off since I had just mopped the floor, (and he didn't) ...

 

I can honestly say NOW, many moons and years later,,,

 

I truly did not value myself... His actions were just "confirmation" of my own feelings of inadequacy. 

 

Also, sex can ruin a relationship, if you have it with someone else,,,, 

 

and don't have permission! OOPS!! (DARN THAT BUS!!) 

Bwahahahaha!!!



Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Diana3316
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1185
Posted on Sun, Jun 02, 2013 09:11

Hmmm...I think we need more data Professor.  I think Ms. Sassler is leaping to conclusions and unless you have only provided the cliff notes, the study is flawed and not scientific.  There could be too many variables which account for the woman's relationship satisfaction, including duration of relationship, age when relationship was entered, religion, her health, financial stability, health of the partner....etc...etc.

 

Duration of relationship is a central factor that should be considered and adjusted for.  I very much believe in the seven year itch and think many times that it is really the woman that gets it.

 

Never the less, I think it is true that women tend to fall in love with the person they are intimate with, which may cloud good judgement in partner selection from the very start.  A couple of years down the road, she figures out, "Gee, I've made a big mistake!"  lolo



Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Follow - Email me when people comment