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Jenkneee
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Posted on Sat, Jan 19, 2013 12:27

These are MY words but think of that Redneck comedian's timing in his "You might be a Redneck".  Feel free to add some of your own possible problems. I just thought of another one. Let's see if MM approves this blog first.

 

I feel I'm not just speaking for myself but on behalf of a good portion of women, if any of this sounds familiar to you then we might have a problem ...



IF that thing on your upper lip you call a mustache looks like something could have crawled in there & died, we might have a problem.


IF your idea of shopping for yourself is going to Kmart once a year & "stocking up", we might have a problem.


IF watching a play means staying awake for the first 10 minutes, we might have a problem



IF you wear your UNDERwear as OUTERwear, we might have a problem.



IF your idea of a memorable night includes a tattoo parlor, we might have a problem.



IF when a woman is talking to you and what you hear is the Peanuts/Our Gang teacher, we might have a problem.



IF you are such a sports junkie that you will watch badminton on T.V., we might have a problem.


IF you conveniently only have a $100 bill & you look at me like I should pay instead, we might have a problem.



IF you claim to be "sexy" and you're not, we might have a problem.



If you don't know the difference between their, there and they're, we might have a problem.



IF your place is your parent's basement, we might have a problem.



If your idea of getting ready for a date means slapping on some colonge to mask your B.O., we might have a problem.



IF your six-pack looks like a keg , we might have a problem.



If you think techno and anything autotuned is good music, we might have a problem.



If you have clothes in your closet that you could wear for Halloween, like 70's disco or Farmer in the Dell,etc., we might have a problem.


If you have consider your front lawn a parking spot, we might have a problem.



IF you didn't laugh at some point while reading this, we might have a problem :)



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3345roc
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Posted on Sat, Jan 25, 2014 07:52

We might have a problem if

 

... your hair doesn't move on a windy day or it got caught in a ceiling fan

... there's a picture of you with a dead animal and a hunting bow on the internet

... you ask "where's this relationship going" on our second date

... you drive a pickup truck

... you think turtleneck is a key ingredient for a tasty soup

... you apply your makeup with a spackle knife

... I can watch the entire "Godfather" trilogy waiting for you to get ready to go out

... you have "ammo" on your Christmas list

... your entire wardrobe is "camo"

... you have a homemade fur coat

... you got your teeth from the Sears catalog or lost a tooth opening a beer bottle              

... your face looks like a half chewed piece of caramel

... you've ever used lard in bed

... you have more than 3 McDonald's bags in your car

... you're required to wear an orange vest to work

... you've ever used a weed whacker indoors

... your kids take "crime scene tape" to show and tell

... you antiperspirant is Raid

 

 



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marbellaspain
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Posted on Fri, Jan 24, 2014 13:03

If you think i find this blog funny and hilarious...we don´t have a problem,because it is,even when there are true story´s in it ;)



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marbellaspain
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Posted on Tue, Jan 21, 2014 16:19

If you considering yourself as perfect,and your not,we might have a problem.

If you mean that emancipation means same rights,but not same obligations,we might have a problem.

If you say we are in the 21 century and believe womans have the same rights like men,but still wants that the man has to pay all the bills,we might have a problem.

If you don´t speak at least five languages,we might have a problem "specialy if you don´t speak one of those five LOL"

If you say,your sexy and hot,and your not,we might have a problem :-P

If you considering fashion,juwelery and soaps interesting subjects to talk about,we might have a problem.

If you think men are interrested in your ex. ,your medical past and your family problems on the first date,we might have a problem.etc...etc... LOL



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Jenkneee
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Posted on Thu, Jan 24, 2013 11:29

Thanks Liv, glad you enjoyed it :)



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Livnlov
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Posted on Wed, Jan 23, 2013 15:28

Quoting Jenkneee:

These are MY words but think of that Redneck comedian's timing in his "You might be a Redneck".  Feel free to add some of your own possible problems. I just thought of another one. Let's see if MM approves this blog first.

 

I feel I'm not just speaking for myself but on behalf of a good portion of women, if any of this sounds familiar to you then we might have a problem ...



IF that thing on your upper lip you call a mustache looks like something could have crawled in there & died, we might have a problem.


IF your idea of shopping for yourself is going to Kmart once a year & "stocking up", we might have a problem.


IF watching a play means staying awake for the first 10 minutes, we might have a problem



IF you wear your UNDERwear as OUTERwear, we might have a problem.



IF your idea of a memorable night includes a tattoo parlor, we might have a problem.



IF when a woman is talking to you and what you hear is the Peanuts/Our Gang teacher, we might have a problem.



IF you are such a sports junkie that you will watch badminton on T.V., we might have a problem.


IF you conveniently only have a $100 bill & you look at me like I should pay instead, we might have a problem.



IF you claim to be "sexy" and you're not, we might have a problem.



If you don't know the difference between their, there and they're, we might have a problem.



IF your place is your parent's basement, we might have a problem.



If your idea of getting ready for a date means slapping on some colonge to mask your B.O., we might have a problem.



IF your six-pack looks like a keg , we might have a problem.



If you think techno and anything autotuned is good music, we might have a problem.



If you have clothes in your closet that you could wear for Halloween, like 70's disco or Farmer in the Dell,etc., we might have a problem.


If you have consider your front lawn a parking spot, we might have a problem.



IF you didn't laugh at some point while reading this, we might have a problem :)



Jen,

 

This is brilliant! You made me laugh so hard, I can't think of anything that I might have a problem with right now, LOL! Thanks.

 

Liv.



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Wed, Jan 23, 2013 05:30

Quoting Mtnsunny:

If your wearing Spurs on those Boots for our first date...we might just have a problem.

 

If you come running down the stairs in only your whitie tighties, to greet me for our first date, we might just have a problem!

 

If your over 20 and wearing your high school letter jacket on our date... we have a problem.

 

If we get pulled over by a cop and you go to jail.....we have a problem.

 

All four of these happened to my best friend... but what took the cake is when she went over to this guys house for a second date and he sat around nude the whole time she was there...that was a gut buster for both of us over a glass of wine the next day. :)



Dear MTSUNNY,

Clearly your GF and I have dated some of the same men! Bwahahahahaha~~

Was the "jail guy" from North Carolina by chance?

And I KNOW the naked one is from Florida!! Heehee~~ ;)



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Wed, Jan 23, 2013 05:23

Quoting jomo1983:

sorry Jen, but you have forced me to respond from the male side.

 

If you think I can't smell vodka on your breath we might have a problem

 

If you can't have a date on Wednesday because that's when you watch Kvetching with the Kardashians or The Dirty Housewives of Denver, we might have a problem

 

If you think talking about your ex-husband is interesting conversation, we might have a problem

 

If you are taking a cocktail of Ativan, Xanax, Paxil and Prozac, we might have a problem



Our Dearest JOMO.... 

I agreed with "most" of your commentary here...... except ONE TINY MEASLY PORTION....

Um... Darlin... 

At the latter part, you WERE referring to "Mixing" Ativan, Paxil, Xanax and Prozac... 

Ummmm.. Right? 

CUZ I NEVER TAKE THEM ALL AT THE SAME TIME... 

ESPECIALLY IF I AM HAVING A SHOT OF MY NON-SMELLING VODKA!! 

Bwahahahahahahaha!!!


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Jenkneee
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Posted on Tue, Jan 22, 2013 23:34

Quoting Mtnsunny:

If your wearing Spurs on those Boots for our first date...we might just have a problem.

 

If you come running down the stairs in only your whitie tighties, to greet me for our first date, we might just have a problem!

 

If your over 20 and wearing your high school letter jacket on our date... we have a problem.

 

If we get pulled over by a cop and you go to jail.....we have a problem.

 

All four of these happened to my best friend... but what took the cake is when she went over to this guys house for a second date and he sat around nude the whole time she was there...that was a gut buster for both of us over a glass of wine the next day. :)



Yikes!! I would say a few of those were BIG problems! 



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Jenkneee
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Posted on Tue, Jan 22, 2013 20:56

Hoping, I literally LOLed.  Don't you hate it when people use "literally" too much?  " Like literally", oh no she didn't,  I can hardly handle those phrases.

Jomo, yours were good too!  I get it, some other single ladies may have some problems.  Not Me of course, I am near perfection,lol.  I have never made the mistake of talking about my ex , possibly while drinking which makes me spill my guts even more and I have never seen any of the housewives series, not new York, Bev. Hills, O.C., Atlanta,..but if you want to know why Brandy is getting sued or why Kenya decided to do her own exercise DVD in direct competiton with Phaedra or that Taylor almost seems normal now, you could ask me ;)



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jomo1983
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Posted on Tue, Jan 22, 2013 10:20

sorry Jen, but you have forced me to respond from the male side.

 

If you think I can't smell vodka on your breath we might have a problem

 

If you can't have a date on Wednesday because that's when you watch Kvetching with the Kardashians or The Dirty Housewives of Denver, we might have a problem

 

If you think talking about your ex-husband is interesting conversation, we might have a problem

 

If you are taking a cocktail of Ativan, Xanax, Paxil and Prozac, we might have a problem



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Tue, Jan 22, 2013 06:13

LOOK! I found sweet, innocent.... (N-O-T!!!) JENNY getting arrested!

Bwahahahaha!!!


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Jenkneee
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Posted on Mon, Jan 21, 2013 21:51

Quoting NGL2011:

Hope,, getting arrested is probably tops !  LOL but I'll tell you,, I have been on some,,ummm,,lets just call them interesting dates.. LOL

 

Jen,,guys like that really give us a bad rap. I can't believe he didn't want to break a 100,, that is so funny. I guess is he wanted to impress the next woman with it..LOL



Yeah NGL, it was NOT good, I left out some of the juicy details.  He did claim he had a stack of $100 bills at home,lol, who talks like that?!  And yes, i agree, Hoping's date has to top mine, at least no one has gotten arrested on my dates,lol.  I would love to hear anyone's bad date stories. Feel free to share!

 

 

Come to find out that if you skip Jury Duty twice, they will contact the sheriff and post a warrant for your arrest.   I was thinking about skipping it till I heard that but since i am not good at going through my mail, I would be paranoid that I would miss a notice for it then sweet, little, innocent Jenny ( I'm pushin it a little) could be the one getting arrested!!  Yes it seems ridiculous but stuff does happen. Anyhow :)

 

Okay...new one to add to the original post.

 

If you type that you're "intelegent" but can't spell intelligent...we might have a problem.


That was today's winner!! I get them often :/

 



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NGL2011
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Posted on Mon, Jan 21, 2013 08:44

Hope,, getting arrested is probably tops !  LOL but I'll tell you,, I have been on some,,ummm,,lets just call them interesting dates.. LOL

 

Jen,,guys like that really give us a bad rap. I can't believe he didn't want to break a 100,, that is so funny. I guess is he wanted to impress the next woman with it..LOL



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Jenkneee
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Posted on Sun, Jan 20, 2013 13:39

The guy who didn't want to break a $100 bill on our date, this was AFTER I had already paid for my own lunch (dutch is okay for a first date) and spent a couple hours with him where he had already shown some bad behavior. We ordered 2 beverages (that's it, probably less than  $7) and i wasn't standing next to him, then I saw him taking a long time with the cashier and started paying attention.

 

 

He kept on looking at his $100 bill in his one hand and his charge card in the other while talking to the cashier, his BIG dilemma was whether he wanted to break the bill or charge it.  He gave me this look like he was thinking "help me out" so I asked him. "Do you want me to pay for it?", he said "Yes" and normally i would have but being that he was rude on several occasions and i did pay for my own lunch earlier, I said back to him "You can pay for it" so he did.  After that, we drank our drinks and said goodbye.

 

It was my worst date i ever had, (I've left out some details) and it was my first date i had after being married for 20 years,lol. WELCOME TO THE DATING WORLD !!


 

As for you, to have your date actually arrested totally trumps my story!  That really must have been an interesting date! At least you got one heck of a story out of it. You must tell it later at some point and like u said, u did get something positive from the NYE non-existent date.  NYE's events are over-rated anyway, in my opinion.



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Sun, Jan 20, 2013 12:49

OMG JEN... Badmitton??!!! Lordy!!

Now I do enjoy playing the game.... it's a lot of fun..... BUT WATCH?? 

And a date didn't want to break $100 Bill?? WHAT A JERK! Sounds like he knew he wasn't "gettin any!"

Please don't tell me you were at McDonalds!!! LOL....

Yes, it's true! I've been on a date where my date got arrested.. AND THAT WASN'T THE WORST OF IT!! 

My New Years Eve was ruined this year.. (Nother ALKIE!!) I too, sat at home alone!! BUT.. I did land an editing job out of it, so we can always find the POSITIVE.. even in the worst of our dating woes! 

WE'VE ALL DODGED A FEW BULLETS IN OUR TIME FOR SURE!! 



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Jenkneee
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Posted on Sun, Jan 20, 2013 00:49

Hoping!! Those were good! I'm sorry some of it was your reality, a  lot of mine were too! That one night when my now-ex-husband sat and was riveted while watching badminton on the tv, yeah...so not funny at the moment, now it is slightly funny.  Then that date of mine not wanting to break a $100 bill, true but it was worse than that. Which makes me think that a worst date thread in the forum would be entertaining to read, hmmm.

Your No. 1 is a classic!! I think it tends to happen more often where the guy thinks he is going on a date with a woman then Surprise!! There was a site where you could warn others of your bad experiences, "she is really a he" definitely some of those on there.

Thanks for contributing :)



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Sat, Jan 19, 2013 22:57

LOLOL... JEN...

 

IF your idea of "Romancing a Woman" consist of a Domino's pizza, a 6 pack of Bud Light, and sitting on the tailgate of your '74 pick up.... We might have a problem!

 

IF your idea of a "good date" has anything to do with "dollar bills, G-strings or blow up dolls"... we might have a problem!

 

IF our first date consist of you getting arrested for jumping off the wagon I never knew you were on... we might have a problem! (Yep! Happened!) 

 

IF our first date includes your confession after you could not celebrate New Years Eve due to your not being able to be around alcohol.... we might have a problem. (Different date... I don't attract scammers... I must attract alkies! LOL) 

 

IF our first date includes you eating crumbs off the table cloth at a fine dining restaurant... we might have a problem! (YEP! Another winner last year!) 

 

BUT... 

 

The #1 reason we might have a problem on a date?

 

If you tell me your name is Samuel......

 

but it really used to be Susan!!   ;)



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