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ambergbay
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Posted on Wed, Jan 02, 2013 17:42

 

ASPIRE:

 

I still haven't read the book…

 

My daughter commented on it as she tried to make her way past the front and into the back passenger seat. She froze, mid way in tangles like a marionette, one arm pinned slightly over head while the other batted at the straps of the seatbelt that kept her from making it back, “Is that a book? Are you really reading a book mom? I haven’t seen you read since Twilight…”

 

I opened my mouth to argue with her but I couldn’t. I haven’t been able to finish a book since that series. I attempted to read “Eat, Pray, Love” but I went on a food binge shortly before it was time to pray because I was bored out of my mind and I eat when I am bored. Even Julia Roberts couldn’t make me fall for that book and I so wanted to because I have a celebrity crush on that girl. She is absolutely adorable. I walked out of the movie. I couldn’t do it. The whole thing just pissed me off and I was still stuck on Twilight.

 

“I wonder where I can find a vampire…”

 

Eat, Pray, Love, pissed me off. I was still married when the book and movie were popular, in the throat of the struggle or the strangulation of trying. I sat lackluster in my seat at the theater seething because I wanted to be on that plane. “Hello!! This is me sobbing on my bathroom floor. I can write, please send me on an all expense paid trip around the world so I can hook up with a new guy that is ten times better after talking to Buddha somewhere in Bali.”

 

Who gets that life… How does that even happen?

 

It would be the death of Jacob. My divorce was like watching him slowly being disemboweled as he in lingered in both parts, wolf and man, equally savage. I imagined that I was going to make it, as I stormed out of the movie theater back then; that “WE” were going to make it. It’s been so long now since we’ve departed that I forget about the “we”.  “I” is such a selfishness, and “Eat, Pray, Love” was an orgy of self indulgence.

 

I was indeed crying on my bathroom floor, but I didn’t want my happiness to come at the destruction of my family and for me to choose that life would be a selfishness. That character made her choice before she had children; she realized her discontent before there were strings attached but what happens when there are? Most of us on the planet have strings and I laughed at my own little puppet as she finally plopped herself in the back seat of my two door red mustang. “TWILIGHT!!! Now that was a great a love story!! I devoured those books!! The book I am reading now is called, “Aspire….”

 

“Aspire” (written by Kevin Hall) was the very first gift that a reader (I write a fitness based blog) ever gave to me. He wanted me to read it so adamantly that he bought it and had it shipped as to make certain that I received the story which he was most certain had merit to my own which I was, and am, in the process of writing. The sender found my blog on and he was quick to boast about his family and the new baby that he was expecting. I believe a fourth…

 

 

 

 


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The Life You Live is a CHOICE- I choose HAPPY :)

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