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Posted on Wed, Sep 12, 2012 20:58

(please note that these are my mere thoughts and general observations regarding this topic in society etc - and not reflecting my own personal life. I personally believe in and strictly practice traditional fidelity)

    Thinking out loud...

We live in times of great communications tech. If we would like to, we could walk.eat.sleep and take a bath with our closest friend and most personal butler, our mobile phone. This magic word.."mobile phone" is so much more than a thing. It includes everything for the modern humanbeing. It includes our family, friends, lovers, contacts, businesses and everything else. A small thing, a huge life.

Online dating..sounds innocent enough...but do we know how many percent of all women and men online are actually single? Its easy to just ask Mr Mobile to switch you into single-mode whenever wherever...and just like that..you are free like a bird to be attracted and attractive to hundreds..allover the globe..one in each port..and not even needing to be a sailor on any seas anymore!

Going on checking fields of grass every day if you want, to see if and how green that grass is on the other side of the cyberfence beyond your marriage (i have already run into such men here..unfortunately)...why should anyone stick to one partner for life, tasting one fruit instead of various? Why should anyone endure troublesolving and all sticky emotional stuff with one when there are hundreds fresh waiting to be the next as close and easy as a click? Too many distractions and attractions for any humanbeing.

Just switching on the TV, walking out the door, taking the dog to the vet, checking the post etc. gives anyone flesh juice to the soul of attractive men and women. How can one ask a humanbeing to ignore all these constantly activated senses? How about social media and relationships...should we forbid our partner to Facebook and Twitter etc. the opposite sex? "The opposite sex"..well bisexuality is not unusual either..so we cannot know. Internet is a huge ocean..we simply cannot keep tracks. Should we have daily reports of online and phone activities given to us by our partner? Can we ever or should we trust enough? What are the boundaries of "infidelity"...having a dance with someone at a club..chatting to someone online or is the clear cut when exchanging physical intimacies...or having cyber/phone-sex?

Sometimes I think that we have passed the times of fidelity and loyalty of such kind, that we should just learn and accept the fact that everyone is a Mr/Mrs/Miss Right Now and never Mr/Mrs/Miss Right, that there are too many visible and attracting fish in this Neo Ocean of Life and that we should just enjoy the moments we get with our partner until it is on to Mr/Miss Next..and not be so shaken by these facts as if the moon suddenly stopped glowing. Just here, on this site, you can be in active touch with many at the same time, chat to many at once..not even needing to stick to one or even two..why should you explore only one or few? Why should you not just skip her/him if any small doubt comes off in your mind, maybe a misunderstanding but who cares..just block n click many think! No concern for anyone elses feelings but oneself. This online kingdom of one self, where you rule, judge and conquer as you wish, wherever, however and when you wish.

Is it then much harder if not impossible to actually meet someone for keeps..for real, especially online..or? Is this all just a playground, a game of "love" with no rainbow at the end of the tunnel?

Do modern people really want to be stuck for life with only one, when there are so many options blinking every second on the screen, asking to give everyone positive attention, give everyone the feeling of "first-love", give everyone what they are lacking in their never-will-be-perfect-relationship (no relationship will ever be), when they are tired and exhausted of "the same old" with their partner?

Personally, I am a bit old fashioned maybe, and maybe have some odd error in my modern genes, as I just cannot be unfaithful..cant even stand the action by any means...but on the other hand I don’t use Facebook ;-) and never had a one night stand...so my personal standards are considered unusually strict regarding this issue.

So...is sharing the new caring and is it possible for us to re-program our inner selves away from this delicate and deeply traditional matter? Away from expecting/serving traditional/"eternal" fidelity?


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Posted on Sun, Sep 23, 2012 16:47

Oh Donfitmold! Looks like overload-mode there...Lets try figuring out the twos to hopefully not even become considering the threes! :-)))



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DONTFITMOLD
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Posted on Sun, Sep 23, 2012 16:43

fidelity amongst friends...?


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D ( @ )( @ )

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Posted on Sat, Sep 22, 2012 05:38

Hello Michelle0097

Can you please explain what is "narcissistic"? i know who Narcissus was with his mirror etc. but what does it mean to you in your context?

So you mean that dating sites are the gathering waterholes for such personalities?

So you mean that the high risen amounts of divorce etc are only done in relations with a narci partner?

So you mean that the rest, the non-narci are able to and will have a lifelong and faithful relationship to one singular partner 2012? Is it even healthy for a humanbeing to suppress the impulses people get, especially in modern high tech society, for a lifetime?

So you mean depending on someone is a nonquality feature?



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Michelle0097
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Posted on Fri, Sep 21, 2012 01:50

"Sometimes I think that we have passed the times of fidelity and loyalty of such kind, that we should just learn and accept the fact that everyone is a Mr/Mrs/Miss Right Now and never Mr/Mrs/Miss Right, that there are too many visible and attracting fish in this Neo Ocean of Life and that we should just enjoy the moments we get with our partner until it is on to Mr/Miss Next..and not be so shaken by these facts as if the moon suddenly stopped glowing.
Just here, on this site, you can be in active touch with many at the same time, chat to many at once..not even needing to stick to one or even two..why should you explore only one or few? Why should you not just skip her/him if any small doubt comes off in your mind, maybe a misunderstanding but who cares..just block n click many think! No concern for anyone elses feelings but oneself. This online kingdom of one self, where you rule, judge and conquer as you wish, wherever, however and when you wish.

Is it then much harder if not impossible to actually meet someone for keeps..for real, especially online..or? Is this all just a playground, a game of "love" with no rainbow at the end of the tunnel?

Do modern people really want to be stuck for life with only one, when there are so many options blinking every second on the screen, asking to give everyone positive attention, give everyone the feeling of "first-love", give everyone what they are lacking in their never-will-be-perfect-relationship (no relationship will ever be), when they are tired and exhausted of "the same old" with their partner?"

 

That first paragraph of yours that I copy/pasted pretty much sums up the Narcissistic personality. Of course, THOSE types will never be happy with one relationship, lasting for all time (excluding abusive relationships--of which the Narcissist is usually at fault). God knows THAT type of personality sees it as very much BELOW them to ever truly care about another more than him/herself. Therefore, they will be on to the so-callled greener pastures.

Your last paragraph..."Do modern people really want to be stuck for life with only one..." again, Narcissistic behavior. Is it so beneath someone to have integrity, faithfulness to one? Only to the Narcissist. There are PLENTY of people out in this world who DO believe in life-long commitments, who completely despise infidelity and who cherish their partner and would never even consider greener pastures. Probably not going to find those types on dating sites. I am only here to read the blogs and have no desire to "meet" anyone here. I would be deluding myself if I thought a quality relationship could arise from a dating site.

You will find integrity offline. And you also have to be completely happy to be alone, in the meantime. Quality people will never be attracted to needy personalities. Narcissists will, though...



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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 11:11

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 11:10

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 11:09

:-)


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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 11:06

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 11:05

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 11:04

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 11:04

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 11:02

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 11:01

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 11:00

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 10:59

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 10:58

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 10:57

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 10:56

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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 10:55

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