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rmac22
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Posted on Fri, Aug 24, 2012 14:57

According to a few ladies I know -- Nice is nice, courtesy and charm are nice, handsome is nice, but confidence, swagger, and a “who gives a dam attitude” wins.

 

RMac



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rmac22
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Posted on Wed, Aug 29, 2012 22:15

Hoping4Love -- Thanks for the nice comments. 

 

Diana – There is a man in New York who gave courses to other men on how to pick up women.  He even demonstrated his abilities on TV.  It sort of ruined his game for a few months after that TV program was viewed. 

 

BeWell – If I had looked it up in advance, I would have never put it out there and we would have missed all this entertainment.  Thanks for your comment.

 

RMac



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Wed, Aug 29, 2012 11:14

LOL @ Lady Di..... EDDIE MURPHY.. teaching "swag!" HaHa! Now that must be a hoot!! 

 

Yes, the problem with definitions.. I only found it representing an "ill manner" .. (And obviously some already knew what I had to look up.. ) and others know "swagger" to be more of a man's style and composure.. His sensual and masculine "aura"... 

 

I think most would be in agreement.. 

 

GOOD Swagger- 1

 

BAD Swagger- 0 

 

Here's our SWAG TEACHER Gentlemen.. 

 

Mr. Eddie Murphy himself! ***All start laughing with the famous Murphy laugh! 


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Diana3316
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Posted on Tue, Aug 28, 2012 23:34

RMac~

I understood how you meant 'swagger'.  Must be a generational thing.  :)  *wink*

 

Re: Off Balance 

You're probably right.  But it kinda goes back to that 'it' factor.  Rarely can someone pull it off if they try....and just don't have 'it'.  Seems like there was a movie about that once.  I'm not sure....maybe Eddie Murphy???  He was trying to teach swagger to other men.



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BeWell
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Posted on Tue, Aug 28, 2012 07:17

Rmac... A lot of good stuff has been said here. I think another word for swagger would be "cockiness".

 

The only thing I want to add is that a lot of women will 'play' with the bad boys who have the "I don't give a damn" attitude. These women are usually dodging commitment  and the bad boys are relatively safe for them in that regard. Not all women are like that.

 

Voyager..... you are soooooo funny. Only you would think of France when you see the word, nice. Thanks for making us all smile. ;-)................. BeWell.



BeWell and wishing you only the best ! ..................;-D

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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Tue, Aug 28, 2012 04:30

Hi RMAC.... 

 

I have a tendency to "look it up" even when I absolutely KNOW what a word means if I am going to "put it in pen..." So yes, I even looked up all the words I mentioned as arrogant, bullying, etc... Of course I knew the meanings.... BUT.. I think at times we become so accustomed to hearing a word, we presume to know it's meaning. "Swagger" is a new word to my vocabulary.... (and not a positive one! LOL) 

 

You, "kind sir", are NOT a "swagger" ... Adjectives I would refer for you would be gentleman, humble, considerate, level-headed, listener, open to others thoughts, non-conforming yet agreeable (not an arguer who always must be right.. ), loving and mild mannered. No where did I see those words attributed to "swagger." 

 

And that makes you "one of the good guys" in a Princess Fairy Tale.. :) I just think you might be a couple years too old for me.. or I'd have to hop on my broom.. I mean.. er... hop in my "chariot" and whisk you away.. ;) 

 

GOOD MORNING RMAC AND TO ALL YOU "NON" SWAGGERS! ;)

 

SWAGGERS.. HIT THE ROAD... or I'll beat you with my broom!! LOLOL... 



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rmac22
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Posted on Mon, Aug 27, 2012 22:32

Hoping4Love and everyone  -- I looked up the word “swagger” too just now.  Several dictionaries. Only one had as one of the meanings, what I had in mind and the one my friends meant. That meaning was a certain "style, dash, or verve."  The other meanings were much as Hope presented.

 

So, I learned something. 

 

 

 

RMac

 

 



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Mon, Aug 27, 2012 14:42

SWAGGER 1. To walk or conduct oneself with an insolent or arrogant air; strut. 2. To brag; boast. To browbeat or bully (someone).
1. A swaggering movement or gait. 2. Boastful or conceited expression; braggadocio. ************** I had to look up the meaning myself....  Swagger and one being confident are not the same. ORLANDO.. Welcome to "the other side" dear! Provider, status and dominance has NOTHING to do with the "SWAGGER" via definition. As far as I read SWAGGER .. BY DEFINTIION.... He's a jerk of an azz**** wh is obviously abusive emotionally and quite possibly abusive physically. In so far as the "don't give a damn" attitue. It depends on what one refers..  Is it don't give a damn about other people or their feelings... I am selfish??? Or is it "Well, if you don't like me.. I don't give a damn. I'm comfortable in my own skin."  Again.. BIG DIFFERENCE!  RMAC.. "nice man"... School your lady friends on what SWAGGER "really" means.. Trust me.. If they are schooled.. They won't refer the word anymore in kind...  Sign me.. Hoping4Love... with a NICE guy! LOLOL And PAT... I'm not so sure there are men like that here my age either... I'm dateless too! WHERE ARE THE NICE GUYS!  CALLNG ALL *NICE GUYS! 911!! 



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rmac22
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Posted on Mon, Aug 27, 2012 07:57

Diana – On a first date lunch date things were going ok, not great just ok.  I had asked her if we could meet the following Tuesday evening to which she replied, “I will have to see.”  On the way out of the restaurant I gave her a quick, pulled her shoulder against mine, hug.  No reason, I just liked her.  At her car she kissed me and said I’ll meet you here at 6:30 Tuesday.   Instant chemistry.  We dated a few years.  Your nice friend needs to get you just a little off balance.  Thanks for your comments.

Jenkneee –I don’t care much for the, “who gives a dam” attitude” either.  Passionate I can handle.  Everyone needs at least a few burning issues.  Thanks for your comments.

Livnlov -- Humble I can handle.  I have much to be humble for.  Gotta tone down the swagger that’s all there is for it.  Thanks for your comments.

Curious -- You had to add sophisticated.   Thanks for your comments.

 

RMac



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Curious2078
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Posted on Sun, Aug 26, 2012 18:42

Quoting DONTFITMOLD:

Where do you think that comes from??



From Hollywood.  Where else?.

Nevermind that it's become an American cliche.

 



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Curious2078
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Posted on Sun, Aug 26, 2012 18:40

Quoting Voyager54:

~Mac~...Jeeez, I thought you were talking about Nice France!...On that note, I will say that Nice is pretty fricken nice.



GAWWWWWD!  You nut!!!!!



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Curious2078
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Posted on Sun, Aug 26, 2012 18:39

Quoting Orlando__:

Bruce Ellis, a researcher, wrote in "The Psychology of Mating and Sex" about what women want and based it on much research.  Essentially, you are correct.  His work showed that women are looking for someone who can be a provder, one with status (especially high status males), and physical dominance (i.e., strength not abuse).  These "desires" probably are most prevelant in confident, "don't give a damn", swagger men.  In short, nice guys do finish last.



No, nice guys do not finish last.  Bruce Ellis aside.  Hoping has, in her response, hit on the very fundamental reason.  Re-read it.  She's right on for sure. 

 

Nice, "ignorant and naive" guys finish last.  But nice, "smart and sophisticated" guys do not.  Big, big difference.

 

And yes, there are a ton of very NICE and SMART & SOPHISTICATED guys out there.  Trouble is, most of them my age are not on this site for sure!!!



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Livnlov
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Posted on Sun, Aug 26, 2012 18:28

RMac - I will take nice anyday. One of the most attractive quality in a man to me is success/strength that is underbellied with humility! That is soooo hard to accompanish and therefore hard to find - a true rarity in today's world of arrogance and swagger.

 

Swagger disgusts me! I can't stand them, and I can't be found around them - it's that simple.

 

Thanks for posting this.

 

Liv.



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Jenkneee
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Posted on Sun, Aug 26, 2012 17:38

I HATE the " I don't give a dam" attitude!!  It is when someone does care and is passionate about something (as long as I like it to a degree) that is a huge turn-on.

 



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Diana3316
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Posted on Sun, Aug 26, 2012 14:42

RMac~

Hahahaha.....yes, well I'm trying to apply that lesson now.  I've been dating a nice one....and I should be satisfied right???  *wink*

 

I will always remember the first time I met this one guy.  We were getting to know each other (about 2hrs into the meeting)......when he reached forward and with his finger gently tucked my hair behind my ear and then lightly traced the length of my jaw as his hand withdrew.  What????  The nerve!!  How dare he touch me without my consent!!!  Hmmmm.....his touch was perfect....not clumsy, not too hard....not too soft.....very sensual.  His bright blue eyes twinkling....he said, "You're beautiful".

 

Wham!!!  POW!!!  Sha-zaam!!!  TROUBLE with a capital 'T'.  lol

 

Well......it lasted 6 years.  He was 10 years younger than me.  It was not meant to last.....but geeez....it was fun while it did!  We remain good friends.  :))



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rmac22
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Posted on Sun, Aug 26, 2012 08:16

Hoping4Love   Hey lovely lady I agree with you.  I would hope that nice guys who genuinely like women would ultimately win.  See my response to Diana, another lovely lady.

 

Still, I am not sure that the word swagger need be such a negative thing.  Maybe my understanding of the word is what you mean by Swag. 

 

The who gives a dam attitude may only be a manifestation of knowing that yes or no he is going to live through it, his day is not going to be ruined, he will survive.  In his life thus far he has been both accepted and rejected and he survived them both.

 

The whole mystery of the “bad boy’s” appeal to many women might lie in the phase -- confidence, swagger, and a “who gives a dam” attitude.  The bad boy truly cares about no one except perhaps himself.  Why shouldn’t he be confident he has nothing to lose?  One way or another he does not care,

 

 

 

Voyager – I have not been to Nice France.  I expect it is nice.

 

 

 

RMac



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rmac22
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Posted on Sat, Aug 25, 2012 18:32

 Awwwww Diana – I would like to think that the nice guy who truly likes women would over time win. It takes time for a woman to determine that she has found one who truly likes women. He likes to be with them, he likes to talk with them, he enjoys their company, he even likes them as friends.  

 

DONTFITMOLD – Wish I knew.

 

 

Orlando – Thanks for the reference.  It did not occur to me that there might be a book discussing this. I will have to read it.

 

 

RMac

 



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Sat, Aug 25, 2012 16:11

CONFIDENCE beats arrogance...

 

ASSERTIVE beats bullying...

 

PROTECTIVE beats pompous...

 

... ANY DAY IF THE WEEK... 

 

There is a HUGE difference between desiring a man who exudes confidence when he walks in a room by his "swag", a man who "takes charge" when he needs to be a leader.. and a man who shows his "self importance" by protecting the women aorund him.. Men who feel too "self-important" don't value anyone enough to put them first, thereby making them selfish...

 

If this is what women want.. They can have them.. any day and all day.. every day of the week! 

 

A man being successful and powerful in his own rights should be CONFIDENT enough about his abilities to portray this.. and needn't be a "swagger." 

 

I've dated "true swaggers" and to watch how they compose themselves was disgusting.. I hold no need for a man who is self-righteous, self-absorbed or self-ISH... 

 

JMHO... (But mine counts highest.. cuz I'm gonna be a "WOMAN SWAGGER" one day.. when I'm ready to give up my "Princess title!" LOL

 

Thanks for the blog RMAC.. I now know since women are flocking to azz-h*****... there wil be plenty of "nice guys" left for me! ;)



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Orlando__
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Posted on Sat, Aug 25, 2012 11:20

Bruce Ellis, a researcher, wrote in "The Psychology of Mating and Sex" about what women want and based it on much research.  Essentially, you are correct.  His work showed that women are looking for someone who can be a provder, one with status (especially high status males), and physical dominance (i.e., strength not abuse).  These "desires" probably are most prevelant in confident, "don't give a damn", swagger men.  In short, nice guys do finish last.



**My top strength is"learning." So, my blogs are learning-focused. ~Orlando

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DONTFITMOLD
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Posted on Sat, Aug 25, 2012 09:47

Where do you think that comes from??


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D ( @ )( @ )

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