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Livnlov
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Posted on Sat, Nov 19, 2011 18:32

5 things that make a man a keeper His glance may make you blush hard enough to burn your cheeks, but does he deserve your long-term attention? You know already that lust and love are not the same thing, but you may not know that love and keepability aren't the same either. Love isn't all you need. For example, it's not enough for him to treat you like a queen - a keeper treats himself well, too. And he certainly doesn't make you such a priority that he has no time left for his friends. Read on to find out why optimism is more marriagable than a nice car. 1. He's happy Not in the laugh-a-minute sense, though it's important that you can make each other laugh. A happy man is a man who is comfortable in his skin, at peace with his baggage and has a positive outlook. He is happy when he's around you, but he doesn't need to be around you to be happy. Of course he will have unhappy days, weeks or even months, as a response to events in his life. Just as you do. But he never quite loses his positivity. He isn't so optimistic that he's deluded, but his default state is one of contentment with his life. Why is it so important? Because an unhappy man will eventually make you an unhappy woman. Being around negative people is draining and contagious. Unfortunately, many women are drawn to men who need "fixing" or looking after, and they end up doing all the giving and none of the getting. You can't fix a man; he has to fix himself. If you want to help an unhappy man, be his friend but don't be his emotional nursemaid. 2. He looks after himself While we're on the subject of maids, make sure that you never end up as a man's skivvy or secretary. Gone are the days when men went from being looked after by their mothers to being looked after by their wives, who in turn were "looked after" financially. Good, because co-dependency is not a good basis for a relationship. True independence is not about being an eternal bachelor, but about being a grown-up. A keeper does his own laundry and doesn't empty his wallet into the local pub on pay day. When problems arise in his life he handles them with maturity, and he's not afraid to ask for help when he needs it. 3. He's not afraid to express his feelings Google "men and feelings" and you'll get a thousand articles telling you that men do not talk about emotions, ever. Clearly, the people who wrote these articles have not yet met a keeper. Real men certainly do talk about their feelings – and they're not afraid to talk about yours, either. You can't base a relationship on guesswork. You have to know where you stand, and that means being with someone who doesn't shrink away from saying “I want to be with you,” or “I love you.” More important still, sharing feelings is an expression of trust. A man who can't or won't explain what's going on in his head is a man who's keeping something from you, consciously or not. 4. He treats his friends and family well If you're with a man who's stopped seeing his friends because he wants to be with you all the time, alarm bells should ring. Partly because he's suffocating your relationship, but mainly because he's missing a loyalty gene. If he's fickle enough to drop his friends for you, he's definitely fickle enough to drop you. A true keeper will want to show you off to his friends and family, but he'll also want to spend time with them. You are two individuals whose friends were around long before you met each other. Give each other space you maintain those friendships, and value a man who treats his loved ones with respect and loyalty. 5. He texts you on the way home This is a small but perfectly formed clue to a man's keepability. He won't insist that you call him when you get home (too pushy) – instead he'll drop you a quick thank-you text after you part. It's a thoughtful and courteous gesture from someone who wants to make you smile. That's the sort of man you want to keep.


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Missing1Love
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Posted on Thu, Dec 29, 2011 00:11

Livnlov, thanks for posting. I enjoyed reading. This hits to the core, and is so very true. Lot's of psychology within those #5 requirements, but sadly in real life it matters not much while the romance is in its flair. Love is blind as simple that, and physical attraction trumps the facts. Ever wonder why a women stays with a man that is rude, even beats her, talks bad about other people, thinks he macho & tops, has a so so job, and no future security ? For the life of me I could never figure that one out. It must be Love.


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singleinmv
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Posted on Sun, Dec 25, 2011 22:20

Here Here , well put.


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Curious2078
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Posted on Thu, Dec 01, 2011 20:14

Quoting Conyersguy:

Liv,

 

All Ok, except that any properly raised Southern boy will wish to know you ARE home safely.  So when I ask that you let me know, I'm not being pushy.   And I always ASK, not order. :)

 

-CG-



CG, I'll take your Southern hospitality over Yankee feminist-compliant boys any day. Pat


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fishyme
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Posted on Tue, Nov 29, 2011 07:51

Liv,,,Morning lady,just having coffee here on this fine warm morning.It's 3 degrees above freezing F @ 6 am,not sure what that is on the C scale.Might seem cold to some but it's 23 degrees warmer than last week and the winds are calm.Suppose to have a snowstorm hit today for a couple of days but stay above 0 all week.And that is your Alaska weather report for this fine day. :]:]:] So anyway,over on this side of the pond we have a 1 800 do not call number.We call that no.,add our phone number to the list and bingo,within 1 month [often a week] NO MORE SALES PERSONS on the phone for 5 years! It's GREAT,takes less than 5 minutes.It is a national list and if you get a call,THE CALLER/salesperson,can get up to a $5,000 fine out of their pocket [not the companys,they get punished differently] and I think some jail time [maybe,not sure].I don't know much about your side of the pond but I'm sure you might have something like that.Not many of us like relaxing on Sunday and getting those calls,"We can fix any auto windshild,press 1 if,ect".Us fishies got to have our peace and quite!It works for both your landline and cell numbers.Hope it works,let me know. Why I can remember as a child a long distance call was regulated only by the length of string between the 2 cans,no telemarketers then,no sir...Yesss,I'm getting that old.


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Livnlov
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Posted on Sun, Nov 27, 2011 21:05

@Searching4LUV - I'm glad you enjoyed it. Many thanks. @Brightlights - Those are all good! Cheers, Liv.


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Livnlov
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Posted on Sun, Nov 27, 2011 21:02

@Fishy - No of course not, that doesn't make you bad! I wish I could disable all my iphone functionalities permanently! Don't answer unknown Nos, no voicemail for certain callers to leave messages for me, returns marked "undeliverable" certain e-mails, no internet, and of course rejects all text messages from unknown or barred sources - wouldn't life be so much more blissful? I even get harassed on Sundays by cold calling sales people! No hiding place for a gold fish, fishy - But hey, I am glad your network was able to assist, lol! So how's the weather over there? Must be freezing!


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fishyme
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Posted on Sun, Nov 27, 2011 12:30

Liv,I score highlyish on 1 thru 4 but I ask my phone company if I could pay extra to have texting taken off my phone [they did it for free,whoo hoo].Does that make me bad? :]


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Searching4LUV
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Posted on Sat, Nov 26, 2011 22:28

I loved this blog! It's so true!! Thank you!!


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Livnlov
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Posted on Sat, Nov 26, 2011 13:23

@youfoundme - My apologies, but I am not too sure to whom your questions are directed. Could you let us know please? Liv


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Livnlov
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Posted on Sat, Nov 26, 2011 13:10

Voyager - You bet! Get your pen and paper, lol!


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Livnlov
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Posted on Sat, Nov 26, 2011 13:09

JulyMorning, I think you've just added something that was completely missing. The co-dependency or dependency can be positive in that respect. I actually am a natural nurturer, so I should have spotted that was missing and include a man who does not mind being looked after in that respect and is able to reciprocate (wicked)! Lolol. I think you nailed it there! Thanks a lot!


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Livnlov
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Posted on Sat, Nov 26, 2011 13:03

@Rmac - You are right, I guess for me it is the telling or asking that makes a difference. It shows you care when you ask nicely to let you know she's arrived safely and/or text her. That's all good and I appreciate that very much - it would be weird if he didn't want to know if you arrived safely anyway without gainsaying! Unfortunately, there are other situations where it is not about caring and the fella demands to let them know where you are, or calls every minute a bit like keeping tab, lol! A bit stifling I'd say. But I agree with you and seriously take your point on board. Thanks.


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youfoundme2010
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Posted on Wed, Nov 23, 2011 09:26

you found him?? and blew him off????? tooooooo busy????????????? FEAR?????


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rmac22
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Posted on Wed, Nov 23, 2011 08:38

Re #5, Any lady I ever really cared about, I wanted to know she was home safely. I don't consider it as being pushy when a lady asks me to call when I get home. It is a sign she cares. rmac


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Posted on Wed, Nov 23, 2011 04:18

Liv, thanks! I want HIM! lol Yet, I'd love to pamper him now and then by playing a role as a maid, wearing one of those French burlesque maid costumes. lol... It's all about, injecting some excitement into a relationship, a few adjustments and get HIM to enjoy even the "looking-after" part and avoid the "co-dependency" feeling in both parties.


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Livnlov
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Posted on Wed, Nov 23, 2011 03:25

@ CG - I concur. I was a tad uncomfortable with the 'pushy'. I guess it depends on the language used to ask rather than 'tell' or 'order'. Thanks for that! @ladybug - Lol! That is so funny, but you are such a lucky woman to be very quickly rid of Mr. Insecure! Or did his wife take the house after the divorce??? That could have been a factor. @Working - Ha ha, I'll let you know when I spot him, lol.


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ladybug1960
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Posted on Tue, Nov 22, 2011 21:43

This is great and I agree however I once went out with guy #5. He seemed nice. Especially texting to say what a nice time he had and that he couldn't wait to see me again. The next morning we were texting back and forth and asked me if I owned my own home, to which I said, yes. He never spoke to me again????

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WorkingOnADream
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Posted on Sun, Nov 20, 2011 10:41

lovely....he'll do lol...where do I find him lol. mx


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