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sistercounselor
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Posted on Sat, Sep 03, 2011 07:42

People often wonder: what is the key to finding a mate? The answer is not as complicated as one would think. Quite simply, the answer is: become the person you wish to attract. Without question, we attract who we are and choose a mate who represents the way we see ourselves. Have you ever wondered why you attract a certain man or woman? Take a look into the mirror. Who you see is who you will attract; and what you will seek after.

 

  

 

 

 

While we may not consciously choose a mate who mirrors us, subconsciously we do.  Have you ever noticed, for example, how it is that a seemingly, “together” woman can choose an unhealthy or volatile man? Take a look for a minute how this woman perceives herself. On the exterior she may appear to have it together, but a discerning look into her psyche will reveal a hurt, insecure or fragile woman with a damaged self image. Through her thoughts and behavior, she will put out negative energy and that is exactly what she will get back. Undoubtedly, a broken or incomplete man will rush to her “aid.” 

 

 

 

 

 

The energy that we send out is the same energy that we receive. If we send out positive energy, that’s what we will receive. The same works for negative energy. What we spend time thinking about is what we will draw to ourselves. If our subconscious mind tells us we are unworthy, that is how we will behave and that is what we will attract. And if we believe there are no good, desirable, healthy potential mates, that is what we will seek after (the ones who are unhealthy), for we won’t be in the position to notice the healthy ones.

 

 

 

 

 

Conversely, if we have a positive attitude and believe that there are healthy people from which to choose, and we go out into the dating scene with joyful expectations, we will be able to spot them and also draw them to us. This is the basic premise of the law of attraction.

 

 

 

 

 

We attract who we are.  

 

 

 

 

 

Therefore, if a woman or man desires a healthy, whole, complete partner, s/he must first, become healthy, whole and complete. Confidently walking in your power as a whole, complete person will draw unto you a mate who mirrors who you are.

 

 

 

 

 

So how can you attract your reflection? Quite simply: Become the person you wish to attract.


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Ms. Swirl Girl!

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sistercounselor
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Posted on Sat, Oct 08, 2011 12:01

I hear you sister! You are most welcome. You know, this morning I was thinking that we have been taught that we should have ONE marriage and that there is only ONE person for us, but is that really true? I'm starting to question that, because I've had different relationships where the men mirrored where I was at that particular time in my life, too! As we evolve, do we find mates who mirror us? If so, then how can we be expected to be with the same mate throughout the duration of our lives? This is really intriguing. I too, am thinking about this closely. Could it be that many people come into our lives to serve a purpose for a particular season? Or should we just expect our partners to grow and evolve with us? Its harder to get out of a relationship once you marry and mingle resources. Divorce lawyers and proceedings also are not friendly. I'd much rather just have a relationship and enjoy each other. Then if it ends, it ends and we split amicably, rather than going through divorce proceedings which can become very adversarial. Just thinking outloud. I apologize for rambling. :-)


Ms. Swirl Girl!

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sistercounselor
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Posted on Sat, Oct 08, 2011 11:56

Quoting sistercounselor:

THE BOOK is Become the Person You Wish to Attract



I wrote this book. lol


Ms. Swirl Girl!

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WorkingOnADream
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Posted on Thu, Oct 06, 2011 17:30

This certainly seems to be the case when I think of past relationships. Many have involved guys who sort of matched where I was at the time; e.g. creative times, business confident full flight periods, chilled laid back and also more stressed out /low self esteem times. Always just put it down to right man right time.....but you've got me thinking. Having had a pretty varied life, I wonder if that has been a contributory factor to having varied partners. And possibly a factor in relationships changing after a number of years. Am going away to give this some serious thought. A big thank you SisterCounsellor. Now WorkingOn ADream has something else to work on. mx


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sistercounselor
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Posted on Tue, Sep 27, 2011 21:12

THE BOOK is Become the Person You Wish to Attract


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Ms. Swirl Girl!

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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Fri, Sep 16, 2011 19:59

I WANNA BE A BEACON!! I mean.. I wanna piece of bacon! Bwahahahaha!! MACHEVILLI... We ALL just adore you!! And YES.. This is ONE FACT I can definitely speak for others and include ALL in!! You make a decision to see the good in people and you are a true "encourager" in life... ENCOURAGEMENT is EVERY THING... to EVERY ONE.... (and yes.. she is a shining light is she not!) Ciao~ We have such a wonderful little group...


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sistercounselor
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Posted on Fri, Sep 16, 2011 16:01

Quoting Michelle0097:

Really loved this! So true and thanks for sharing your thoughts! I enjoyed reading it.


Thank you, kindly Sis*Star! Your comment made me smile. Have a fabulous weekend!



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Michelle0097
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Posted on Thu, Sep 15, 2011 02:17

Really loved this! So true and thanks for sharing your thoughts! I enjoyed reading it.


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machevilli
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Posted on Fri, Sep 09, 2011 08:33

Hi Sistercounselor, I am honored and humbled, by your kind words and well wishes. You are a true beacon whose light continues to make the world a much brighter place. Thank you.


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sistercounselor
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Posted on Fri, Sep 09, 2011 05:11

Quoting machevilli:

I just wanted to say to ALL of these writers, what a very impressive group you are, WOW, I am left me speechless with the intellect, wit, knowledge and depth of insight you've displayed here in this blog. Well done, very well done. Thanks to all of you.


Dearest Machevilli:

Thank you, Love. Truly, we are a mere reflection of your wisdom and insightfulness. You recognize in us what you yourself possess. How kind of you to acknowledge us. Thank you.

 

Sending lots of love and light to you, my Dear! :)

 


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machevilli
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Posted on Thu, Sep 08, 2011 20:01

I just wanted to say to ALL of these writers, what a very impressive group you are, WOW, I am left me speechless with the intellect, wit, knowledge and depth of insight you've displayed here in this blog. Well done, very well done. Thanks to all of you.


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sistercounselor
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Posted on Wed, Sep 07, 2011 20:58

Quoting Conyersguy:

Sister,

 

It IS good to see more of you. (wink):)  

 

Both you and hoping make good points.   Re: the positive and negative....both of you are dead on.

 

And the opposites thing.  We all DO have minimums that we want to be as nearly identical as possible.   My standard for personal integrity is 100%.  Anything less than that is not going to work for me.  Even if it's a harmelsss lie.....you say you had a 3.5 GPA when it was 3.2.  Why lie?  You say you've never been arrested....when there was that one time in Daytona Beach for peeing on the sidewalk.  Why lie?  You say you've never been unfaithful......when you did that one time...or you did for ten years.  Why lie?   If you learned that's not the way to behave, then say so.  But don't start a relationship with lies.  Sooner or later, they will unravel.  You'll let your guard down, and be careless with protecting the lie.  And then he or she will wonder what else you've been lying about.     (I will throw in the disclaimer that this cerainly does not apply to everyone.  Some people WANT to be lied to.  They DON"T want the truth. They want to close their eyes and ears and say, "Nanananannana" to themselves until reality goes away.  Since that's not MY type, or yours, Sister, or yours, Hoping,  we've chosen to ignore them.  That's not fair to them.  Those people are entitled to live in their dream world.  But it's not going to be with me.) 

-----And I have tried settling for less, but I've learned I do require intelligence, and kindness, and great sex.    And I've learned YOU better require these things, too.  If they are not "must haves" for you, then we're not likely to get past first base (in baseball terms, not the high school sexual terms):):)  

-----But beyond that, differences can be an amazing part of the growth of a relationship.   It IS exciting to have someone describe, or show you, something you've never seen before.  Or seen , but never understood.  I like learning, so that diversity is a great thing, to me.

 

-CG-



Wow, CG! I really enjoyed reading your comments! Like you, I highly value integrity. Its one of my must haves too. A person with integrity has alot of other good characteristics as well. I love that you already know what you need PRIOR to entering the dating world. Many people have no idea what they want so they "fall" in love, haphazardly. I think that's very unwise. But if we set our non-negotiables UP FRONT and KNOW what we need, we will not waste time or energy. I'm feeling your comments. Oh yes, its true that some people want to be lied to. Why, I 'onno. Lol! I agree that differences can be an amazing part of the growth of a relationship. Thank you for bringing that up! Fabulous! :)

 

Its good to be back and converse with you. Can't wait to read your blogs. Going NOW! Muaaah! (Thats a big kiss for ya!) Wink Wink.



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sistercounselor
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Posted on Wed, Sep 07, 2011 20:37

Quoting Conyersguy:

Sister,

 

It IS good to see more of you. (wink):)  

 

Both you and hoping make good points.   Re: the positive and negative....both of you are dead on.

 

And the opposites thing.  We all DO have minimums that we want to be as nearly identical as possible.   My standard for personal integrity is 100%.  Anything less than that is not going to work for me.  Even if it's a harmelsss lie.....you say you had a 3.5 GPA when it was 3.2.  Why lie?  You say you've never been arrested....when there was that one time in Daytona Beach for peeing on the sidewalk.  Why lie?  You say you've never been unfaithful......when you did that one time...or you did for ten years.  Why lie?   If you learned that's not the way to behave, then say so.  But don't start a relationship with lies.  Sooner or later, they will unravel.  You'll let your guard down, and be careless with protecting the lie.  And then he or she will wonder what else you've been lying about.     (I will throw in the disclaimer that this cerainly does not apply to everyone.  Some people WANT to be lied to.  They DON"T want the truth. They want to close their eyes and ears and say, "Nanananannana" to themselves until reality goes away.  Since that's not MY type, or yours, Sister, or yours, Hoping,  we've chosen to ignore them.  That's not fair to them.  Those people are entitled to live in their dream world.  But it's not going to be with me.) 

-----And I have tried settling for less, but I've learned I do require intelligence, and kindness, and great sex.    And I've learned YOU better require these things, too.  If they are not "must haves" for you, then we're not likely to get past first base (in baseball terms, not the high school sexual terms):):)  

-----But beyond that, differences can be an amazing part of the growth of a relationship.   It IS exciting to have someone describe, or show you, something you've never seen before.  Or seen , but never understood.  I like learning, so that diversity is a great thing, to me.

 

-CG-



Wow, CG! I really enjoyed reading your comments! Like you, I highly value integrity. Its one of my must haves too. A person with integrity has alot of other good characteristics as well. I love that you already know what you need PRIOR to entering the dating world. Many people have no idea what they want so they "fall" in love, haphazardly. I think that's very unwise. But if we set our non-negotiables UP FRONT and KNOW what we need, we will not waste time or energy. I'm feeling your comments. Oh yes, its true that some people want to be lied to. Why, I 'onno. Lol! I agree that differences can be an amazing part of the growth of a relationship. Thank you for bringing that up! Fabulous! :)

 

Its good to be back and converse with you. Can't wait to read your blogs. Going NOW! Muaaah! (Thats a big kiss for ya!) Wink Wink.



Ms. Swirl Girl!

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sistercounselor
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Posted on Wed, Sep 07, 2011 20:30

Quoting DONTFITMOLD:

Swirl girl...Welcome back to the blogs. It's been a long time since the sharing of intelligence and sensitivity. Water does seek it's own level. The Savior does end up as the persecutor. In protecting and saving another we try to save and protect ourselves. Mutual emotional ground and shared understanding keep the reflections in the mirror real What we see is what we get


Yes, my Love! What we see is what we get! I'm so glad to be back. I'm back with more energy and vitality than ever before. By the way, since my last visit here last year, I have become a vegan, yoga enthusiast and author. Life is GRAND! And you along with some other bloggers here encouraged me to do something with my writing...so I did! You have always been such wonderful inspiration for me. Thanks, Love! *Smooches.*



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sistercounselor
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Posted on Wed, Sep 07, 2011 20:26

Quoting Evelyn7:

Good Morning Conversguy? This is Evelyn7 and I enjoyed reading your Post? and it's good you are Right. I believe in any Real Relationship that you should just be real,honest and faithful. Putting all card's on the Table Sar-ta Speak, because telling Lie's has a Bad way of catching up with you. Plus no want want's a Liar. Positive People and Positive energy is a MUST in my Life? I've Learned to take the good with the bad and make the most of it...I just don't let no one or nothing Hold me down.. Life is too short for negative Talk and Negative People,causing Negative Energy and Negative Forces to enter in your Life..I'm a Strong Believer in Love,Joy,Laughter,Happiness and Peace of Mind. I'm a Strong Believer in if I can't help you I Promise I want hurt you. The Best advise that anyone should give to all is Be honest,Be fair, Be faithful and Love God with all your Heart, Live,Laugh,Love and Be happy have fun. Life is too short for anything Else? Be Blessed and Smile.. evelyn7


Yes, my sister! I also believe that LIFE IS TOO ABUNDANT to not live it joyfully and unapolegetically! I love your mantra: Live, Love, Laugh! And when we put such positive energy into the universe, the universe brings us MORE of it!

 

Furthermore, a positive environment is most conducive to manifesting a positive, joyful life AND relationship! Namaste, Sis*Star!



Ms. Swirl Girl!

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Evelyn7
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Posted on Wed, Sep 07, 2011 11:12

Good Morning Conversguy? This is Evelyn7 and I enjoyed reading your Post? and it's good you are Right. I believe in any Real Relationship that you should just be real,honest and faithful. Putting all card's on the Table Sar-ta Speak, because telling Lie's has a Bad way of catching up with you. Plus no want want's a Liar. Positive People and Positive energy is a MUST in my Life? I've Learned to take the good with the bad and make the most of it...I just don't let no one or nothing Hold me down.. Life is too short for negative Talk and Negative People,causing Negative Energy and Negative Forces to enter in your Life..I'm a Strong Believer in Love,Joy,Laughter,Happiness and Peace of Mind. I'm a Strong Believer in if I can't help you I Promise I want hurt you. The Best advise that anyone should give to all is Be honest,Be fair, Be faithful and Love God with all your Heart, Live,Laugh,Love and Be happy have fun. Life is too short for anything Else? Be Blessed and Smile.. evelyn7


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Evelyn7
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Posted on Wed, Sep 07, 2011 10:48

Good Morning Sistercounselor? This is Evelyn7 I just read your Post, Oooh My God! How True Two Thumbs up for You? I truly enjoyed reading your Blog. Very inspiring,knowledgeable,Powerful and Yet exciting... Keep up the Good Work and May God's Blessing Reign down upon You?


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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Tue, Sep 06, 2011 07:00

GEEZZ CONYERSGUY!! ~~CG~~ I PEE ON THE SIDEWALK IN DAYTONA BEACH .. ONE TIME... AND NOW THE CAT IS OUTTA DA BAG!! Heeheeheehee... What I DO believe is VITAL however in a relationship.. as I have learned about myself.. since my life and my past have been painted with so many kinda crazy colors... LOL BE CAREFUL HOW MUCH YOU SHARE AND HOW SOON YOU SHARE IT. We all have skeletons and a past. I just recently learned I needn't answer every single question one asks me... My daughter told me a couple months ago.. "Mom, there are things about you a stranger doesn't DESERVE to know about you. He will make a preconceived judgment and never get to know the real you because of it. Wait until he KNOWS you better and has earned the right to know about your life." Soo ask yourself.. "Is this person DESERVING of knowing ALL?" I politely say now... "I don't discuss this portion of my life with strangers until trust is built." And thus far.. it has sufficed on my dates. So careful how you walk the line here... And yes.. MY DAUGHTER IS DA BOMB AIN'T SHE.. She told me those words.. not verbatim... but you get the picture... She was 2 months shy of her 18th birthday. I be one proud mommy! :)


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DONTFITMOLD Recommended
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Posted on Mon, Sep 05, 2011 19:33

Swirl girl...Welcome back to the blogs. It's been a long time since the sharing of intelligence and sensitivity. Water does seek it's own level. The Savior does end up as the persecutor. In protecting and saving another we try to save and protect ourselves. Mutual emotional ground and shared understanding keep the reflections in the mirror real What we see is what we get

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D ( @ )( @ )

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sistercounselor
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Posted on Mon, Sep 05, 2011 09:33

Quoting Hoping4Love2000:

SISTA!!! Okay.. here's the deal. (and I knew you would totally KNOW what I was referring to... w/ OPPOSITES...) In my CHEATING BLOG I wrote about how WE MUST KNOW WHAT IT IS THAT WE NEED IN A RELATIONSHIP.. And I posed: I KNOW FULL WELL, BEYOND ANY DOUBT... I MUST have a man that will connect with me "emotionally".. I am SELF-AWARE of the fact I can not have a man who will shut down on me as my ex husband did.. Because our "missed emotional connection" is what pushed me over the edge to do the "dirty deed of infidelity" ... I felt alone and honey... BAD MEN can spot a lonely woman miles away! I became like "prey" to someone.. and it ended (both relationships) very nastily. Now I VOW never to do this again.. However, Through all these years.. I have avoided "TRUE COMMITMENT" as if it were the plague coming to suck the life right out of me... I am MORTIFIED deep down that I truly am this wicked evil person that holds no regard for a spouses feelings and therefore if I continue to choose relationships where there can be no true commitment involved, I am SAFE from myself.. Oh my.. the tangled webs we weave... THE ONLY WAY TO SEEK OUT A MATE THAT WILL BRING BALANCE TO OUR LIVES?? BECOME VERY SELF-AWARE OF OUR "MUST HAVE" LIST!! Each of us has boxes we check in what we MUST HAVE to make us happy... Each of us also has a box of "MUST NOT HAVE" to keep us healthy... If we allow "toxins" in.. our must NOT have's.. we become septic... It will kill us if not cleansed.. I have a TOP 5 list of each... It is part of my SELF-AWARE PACKAGE!! LOL It is most important to know what we "NEED".. SISTA.. Not necessarily what we WANT... As sometimes what we WANT.. doesn't match what we truly NEED... So for all my psycho-garble rambling .. if there is ONE TRUTH I hold to... I know what my NEEDS are because I am blessed in my 40's to finally have figured it out... TRUE SELF AWARENESS...


Simply beautiful! Absolutely! In my book, I call these 5 things that you address, "non-negotiables."

I LOVE the way you think! You're certainly bound to attract the person for which you are awaiting! :)

I really enjoy your comments!

Have a fabulous holiday weekend!



Ms. Swirl Girl!

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