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Livnlov
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Posted on Fri, Sep 02, 2011 21:18

I saw this somewhere and I thought I should share with my friends on here purely for laughs. 80 year old man: My 28 year old wife is pregnant, your opinion Doctor? Doctor: Let me tell you a story. A hunter in a hurry grabs an umbrella instead of the gun. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle and... BANG... The lion drops dead! Old man: Thats impossible; someone else must have shot the lion.... Doctor: MY POINT EXACTLY!


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Livnlov
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Posted on Sun, Oct 02, 2011 02:22

OMG! CG - that guy will never get it, will he? So funny, but that is reality sometimes. @Hoping, you would be surprised! My ex used to regularly treat old widowed ladies of STDs (STIs), lol! Asking their sexual history usually unearthed some unbelievable revelations! Lololol!!!!


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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Thu, Sep 29, 2011 15:10

Shaky Lil’ Old Lady.. AKA.. ME in 40 years!! LOLOL The next time you see a little old lady with shaky hands, you'll remember this story: A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk: 'Dddoo youu hhhave ddiilldos?' The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: 'Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models.' The old woman then asks: 'Dddddoo yyyouu ccaarry a pppinkk onne, tttenn inchessss llong aaand aabbou t twoo inchess tht hiick... aaand rruns by bbaatteries? The clerk responds, 'Yes we do' She asks: ' Dddoo yyoooouu kknnoooww hhhow ttoo ttturrrnnn ttthe sunoooffabbitch offffff?' BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!


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machevilli
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Posted on Tue, Sep 13, 2011 18:01

Heeeee's baaaaacck, Okay, a husband and wife were expecting a twins. One day the wife tells her husband, "I think it's time". The husband gets the wife into the car and off the go. Unfortunately, the roads were very icy, the car slides into a ditch. At the hospital the husband opens his eyes and sees his brother Dan at his beside. The man asks "Dan, is everyone okay." Dan says "don't worry everyone is okay". Dan continues, "you are the father of twins a girl and a boy" Dan tells his brother that because both he and his wife were out, he had to name the babys. The husband at this point was in a panic, he knew what a jokester his brother was. He finally got up the nerve to ask his brother what names he choose for the kids. Dan says, Well, I named the girl Denise. Wow, the father was shocked, he said, Dan that's a good name for a girl. So what name did give to my son. Dan said, " I named him Denephew". Second Story A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police Detective came to investigate and ask the turtle if he could explain what happened. The trutle look at the Detective with a confused look on his face and replied, "I don't know it all happened so fast".


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Livnlov
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Posted on Mon, Sep 12, 2011 16:59

That is sooooo funny Machevilli!


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MissMonteCarlo
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Posted on Sun, Sep 11, 2011 05:41

Haha soo funny! Sarah :-)


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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Sun, Sep 11, 2011 03:42

LMSAO MACHAVELLI!! Bwahahahahaha!!


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machevilli
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Posted on Sat, Sep 10, 2011 17:35

These stories are true, however, the names have been changed top protect the innocent. Brenda and Steve had a son Bob and they were a little worried about him, so they took him to the doctor. As they sat down at the doctor's office, Doc, our son is in pretty good health but we're concerned about his private, it seems a little small. I'll exaimine him. After the exaimination the doctor said, "pancakes". The husband and wife said, "pancakes". Yep, just give hime some pancakes that ought to do the trick. The following morning when little bobby walked into the kitchen he saw a giant stack of pancakes on the kitchen table. His mother who was standing at the sink, turned and saw him looking at the stack. She said, "bobby just take two, the rest are for your father. One day little Jenny asked her mother if she could take their little dog Belle for a walk. Her mother said, that now was not a good time because Belle was in heat. Jenny ask what does that mean. Her mother told her, go ask your dad, he's in the garage. Off she went, Dad, she said, I ask mom if I could take Belle for a walk, and she said that Belle was in heat, when I ask her what that meant she said I should ask you. The father said bring Belle over here, the father grabbed a rag soaked with gasoline, rubbed the back of the dog with it and said to his daughter. Listen, you'll only be able to walk around the block once and come right back. Off they went Jenny and Belle. After a little while, Jenny returned without the dog. The father asked Jenny where's the dog. Jenny replied, she ran out of gas half way around the block, but another dog is pushing her home.


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Livnlov
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Posted on Tue, Sep 06, 2011 14:24

Hi Hoping, Been a long time. How are you doing? CG:) LMAO!!!!!!


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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Sun, Sep 04, 2011 17:58

LMSAO!! bWAHAHAHAHAHA!!


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