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Curious2078
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Posted on Thu, Nov 04, 2010 15:16

Quoting GentlyWoman:

I LOVE chicken BROTH versus chicken SOUP, lmao. You can cook for me anytime, mama. (Mama: just a nickname I'm trying on for you. You started it, but it's weird still, since we've mud-wrestled together.)


Yeah, I know.  the chicken soup vs. broth wasn't the best analogy, but it was the best one I had to work with at the time.

 

I don't mind the "Mama" bit, I just worry about it, as I've unexpectedly become a bit superstitious about it.  The last one on here to be called "Mama" was ditched for dirty dealings.  But, what's in a name?  No magical curses, I hope.  But let's keep the stove a good distance from the mud pit.

 

Oh, and I checked with Miss Manners.  It's perfectly acceptable to have mud wrestled with someone you call "Mama."  In fact, I think most lady mud wrestlers get called "Mama," or variations thereof, quite frequently.  Especially the ones who can cook.  LOL 



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NGL2011
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Posted on Thu, Nov 04, 2010 14:50

Quoting GentlyWoman:

True, Ray, jealousy sucks life-juice, as efficiently as a snoopy-sized mosquito. (Ok, random, I know, but it was the picture in my head). Some of my favorite people give, deeply (as in comfort), and are equally able to receive. Less favorite, those unable to give. Least favorite, in this order, those unable to receive. This last category robs me of a things I do in order to show love, and if I can't show love, I have little purpose.


Eva, IMHO, Those unable to receive, are the ones we need to have the most compassion and need our love the most,, now that being said, I don't want to be in a relationship with one ! They also can be like your snoopy size mosquito. ( I like you random picture) ;)


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Wed, Nov 03, 2010 03:37

Quoting Curious2078:

Well, the love at first sight type of attraction would include the first type, the lust.  But the lust would be couched in billows of scrumptious, warmth.  Kind of like the difference between having a naked canvas cot to lie down in and go to sleep on and having a sumptuously made bed to lie down and go to sleep on.  A bed with silk sheets and a pile of gorgeously soft pillows to scrunch up under your neck and rest your head on.

 

In other words, if you have the "being in love" type of attraction, you have the "lust" type of attraction fully incorporated into it.   

 

Plain old chicken broth with nothing in it vs. Chicken broth with heavy cream, tender chunks of chicken, gloriously fresh sauteed mushrooms,  a few peas maybe, or some broccoli or finely diced spinach--whatever suits your fancy--herbs and spices to your liking, finished off with a touch of dry sherry for that extra special sparkle. 

 

So, I'll go for the "being in love" type of attraction every time.



I LOVE chicken BROTH versus chicken SOUP, lmao. You can cook for me anytime, mama. (Mama: just a nickname I'm trying on for you. You started it, but it's weird still, since we've mud-wrestled together.)


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Wed, Nov 03, 2010 03:28

Quoting niceguylooking:

Eva, of course you can be vulnerable. thats kind of cool in a loving relationship. the comforting of the one thats vulnerable can be awesome ! ;) just as long as it doesn't turn into Jealousy,, now that can be a pain ! :) Its all how you handle it.

True, Ray, jealousy sucks life-juice, as efficiently as a snoopy-sized mosquito. (Ok, random, I know, but it was the picture in my head). Some of my favorite people give, deeply (as in comfort), and are equally able to receive. Less favorite, those unable to give. Least favorite, in this order, those unable to receive. This last category robs me of a things I do in order to show love, and if I can't show love, I have little purpose.


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Wed, Nov 03, 2010 03:22

Quoting Ekaterina35:

Always asking "why" is what I do as well, trying to figure out what went wrong, hoping to learn for the future. You and I are alike in this respect, no wonder we both enjoy the art of creating complicated formulas in Excel :) Yet, I do not regret following my heart, because that's why we have heart, and because life is so darn short, and because the possible return is so worth the risk! And somehow I do not believe you would be happier not taking a chance, would you?


Cool comment, E! Actually, I would NOT be happier being "harbored", as Andy has called it on a different thread. It is why we have a heart, soul, why we are alive...imho, to affect some sub-atomic piece of the quagmire we are dealt, to leave it a little better than we found it. And if I get a bit bumped, but left a positive mark somewhere, ANYWHERE, then I did that! :)


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Posted on Mon, Nov 01, 2010 19:08

Quoting GentlyWoman:

Ekaterina! Long time no chat, huh? Yes, you are always an optimist, also a realist, following heart. My own sunk for a little moment recently, spidey-senses failed me - not the first time, likely not the last. It didn't challenge self-esteem or dignity, though, as a reasonable, ever-growing person, I always want to quantify the "why". It seems to come down to fear, somehow, always, of me, him, or both. So...instincts - I'd say mine don't always lead me just right. Just to be honest.

Always asking "why" is what I do as well, trying to figure out what went wrong, hoping to learn for the future. You and I are alike in this respect, no wonder we both enjoy the art of creating complicated formulas in Excel :) Yet, I do not regret following my heart, because that's why we have heart, and because life is so darn short, and because the possible return is so worth the risk! And somehow I do not believe you would be happier not taking a chance, would you?


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NGL2011
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Posted on Mon, Nov 01, 2010 17:59

Quoting GentlyWoman:

@ Ray...that's the trick, I think. Sometimes you won't know why I feel unsafe, but I bet you'll smell it. And if I can't be vulnerable, I also have 5 bucks on that it will be a big turn-off. @ Pat...great at summing up, as usual, in your descriptive style, the difference between "types" of attraction. Oh, to have both at the same time, lol. To "own" and be "owned" at the same time, outside of the push/pull dance. I know it's a myth, but sounds fun, doesnt it?


Eva, of course you can be vulnerable. thats kind of cool in a loving relationship. the comforting of the one thats vulnerable can be awesome ! ;) just as long as it doesn't turn into Jealousy,, now that can be a pain ! :) Its all how you handle it.


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Curious2078
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Posted on Mon, Nov 01, 2010 17:19

Quoting GentlyWoman:

@ Ray...that's the trick, I think. Sometimes you won't know why I feel unsafe, but I bet you'll smell it. And if I can't be vulnerable, I also have 5 bucks on that it will be a big turn-off. @ Pat...great at summing up, as usual, in your descriptive style, the difference between "types" of attraction. Oh, to have both at the same time, lol. To "own" and be "owned" at the same time, outside of the push/pull dance. I know it's a myth, but sounds fun, doesnt it?


Well, the love at first sight type of attraction would include the first type, the lust.  But the lust would be couched in billows of scrumptious, warmth.  Kind of like the difference between having a naked canvas cot to lie down in and go to sleep on and having a sumptuously made bed to lie down and go to sleep on.  A bed with silk sheets and a pile of gorgeously soft pillows to scrunch up under your neck and rest your head on.

 

In other words, if you have the "being in love" type of attraction, you have the "lust" type of attraction fully incorporated into it.   

 

Plain old chicken broth with nothing in it vs. Chicken broth with heavy cream, tender chunks of chicken, gloriously fresh sauteed mushrooms,  a few peas maybe, or some broccoli or finely diced spinach--whatever suits your fancy--herbs and spices to your liking, finished off with a touch of dry sherry for that extra special sparkle. 

 

So, I'll go for the "being in love" type of attraction every time.



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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Sun, Oct 31, 2010 02:49

Quoting Ekaterina35:

I think, raw-gut attraction is about all that you mentioned, and more. It has to be mutual, and can not really be defined, and probably should not....And I agree with your friend that all we need is just follow our heart, and let our instincts lead us....


Ekaterina! Long time no chat, huh? Yes, you are always an optimist, also a realist, following heart. My own sunk for a little moment recently, spidey-senses failed me - not the first time, likely not the last. It didn't challenge self-esteem or dignity, though, as a reasonable, ever-growing person, I always want to quantify the "why". It seems to come down to fear, somehow, always, of me, him, or both. So...instincts - I'd say mine don't always lead me just right. Just to be honest.


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Posted on Sat, Oct 30, 2010 21:26

I think, raw-gut attraction is about all that you mentioned, and more. It has to be mutual, and can not really be defined, and probably should not....And I agree with your friend that all we need is just follow our heart, and let our instincts lead us....


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Sat, Oct 30, 2010 21:19

@ Ray...that's the trick, I think. Sometimes you won't know why I feel unsafe, but I bet you'll smell it. And if I can't be vulnerable, I also have 5 bucks on that it will be a big turn-off. @ Pat...great at summing up, as usual, in your descriptive style, the difference between "types" of attraction. Oh, to have both at the same time, lol. To "own" and be "owned" at the same time, outside of the push/pull dance. I know it's a myth, but sounds fun, doesnt it?


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Curious2078
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Posted on Sat, Oct 30, 2010 19:30

Okay, how do I define "raw, gut attraction?"

 

Two very different ways.  First, there's pure lust.  That's what I feel when I look at the latter day Sean Connery, after he went gray.  That would be something like "OMG, my very bones are aching to try to get inside his skin so they can rub against his very bones.  I want to OWN this man, as in challenge him to a dual of sensuousness that leaves him so breathless he's in need of oxygen to get over what I've done to him.

 

Then there's love.  That feeling of falling in love at first sight.  I'm sure I defined that once before here on MM long ago, but here it goes again:  "OMG, this man's smile, his mouth, his lips, the sound of his voice--I want to fall into that smile and down that melodious throat and melt away inside his heart, totally vulnerable, totally trusting, where I'm sure my soul and heart will be not only 100% safe, but nurtured to be the best they can be. 

 

Okay, so those are the "gut" feelings.  SO much more powerful than the way I would actually act on them--unless, of course I were a thousand miles from home and feeling no pressure from ordinary responsibilities--and feeling no pain.  LOL

 

Speaking seriuosly for a minute, the above does pretty well illustrate the two types of attraction for me.  Both are experienced as wordless feelings on which I can choose to act, in a civil way, accordingly, or not act at all, should some other instinct kick in and tell me that I've run into someone far too dangerous to get mixed up with. 

 

That's all for now

 

.   



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NGL2011
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Posted on Sat, Oct 30, 2010 18:39

Quoting GentlyWoman:

Ha, Ray! I am in favor of the "asking questions" part. This is supposed to be fun, right? Make us feel good. When it's not, it's not that complicated to drill down to why not. I love your comment about helping her feel special. You can't "make" her feel safe, since she has to have some inside peace, but you sure can help...IF there's trust and communication, attraction seems to get stronger.


Eva, Well maybe can't "make her feel safe,, cause in part your right,, but I guess I can help. Pat, nice to see you again too !


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Sat, Oct 30, 2010 18:22

Quoting migliore:

Ciao La Donna Gentile,

As long as it's healthy, enjoying something trumps trying to figure out what it is.  When you're in the vicinity of someone who rings your bell you know it, and its a blessing.  Fan yourself, go with it, keep it light, make choices, want what you want, take chances, have fun.

La pace, amore, baci e abbracci, divertiti!

 



I love this attitude. Refreshing. You make it simple, the way I think it's supposed to be. Ok, then what when bells ring and only one of you hears them? lol. It does happen.


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migliore
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Posted on Sat, Oct 30, 2010 03:53

Ciao La Donna Gentile,

As long as it's healthy, enjoying something trumps trying to figure out what it is.  When you're in the vicinity of someone who rings your bell you know it, and its a blessing.  Fan yourself, go with it, keep it light, make choices, want what you want, take chances, have fun.

La pace, amore, baci e abbracci, divertiti!

 



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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Fri, Oct 29, 2010 21:03

Quoting Curious2078:

So nice to see you back here, Gently.  I have no answers for you now.  Shall give it some thought to see if I come up with anything I want to share....

 

In the meantime--nice to see you, too, Ray.  I thought you'd fallen away completely.   It's been such a long time.  And I love the new pix.  What a grand, lovely, open smile!!!!  Warms my heart for sure.  You were always such a sane and caring addition to these blogs.

 

Pat



PAT :) Thanks for stopping in! Yeah, I know - I was AWOL for a minute. Man, a lot has been happening, mostly good, some rough, but NEVER a dull moment, that's for sure. One thing is the same...still single, lol.


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Curious2078
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Posted on Fri, Oct 29, 2010 20:46

So nice to see you back here, Gently.  I have no answers for you now.  Shall give it some thought to see if I come up with anything I want to share....

 

In the meantime--nice to see you, too, Ray.  I thought you'd fallen away completely.   It's been such a long time.  And I love the new pix.  What a grand, lovely, open smile!!!!  Warms my heart for sure.  You were always such a sane and caring addition to these blogs.

 

Pat



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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Fri, Oct 29, 2010 20:22

Quoting niceguylooking:

Oh Eva Sweety Wonderful Woman, You always ask the best questions, not sure I have an answer, definately will have something to think about. But for right now, I'll give you my gut reaction,,I have no idea ! LOL for me first it's physical attraction, but once I get past that hurdle,,its their heart, which to me is most important. when I find that rare combination and something strangely goes out of whack,,i sit back, think, try to figure, then ask. I never freak out, never get needy, sometimes withdraw, never bake cookies, cause then I'll eat'em all, not sure what to negotiate, till I know whats wrong. One thing I do know for sure,, when I'm in a relationship, I do my best to make sure she's knows she's loved and is special to me, that way she feels safe. (at least I hope she does) Ray oh yeh, I think your friend is somewhat right, I think after people get divorced, their biggest fear in their next relationship is failure


Ha, Ray! I am in favor of the "asking questions" part. This is supposed to be fun, right? Make us feel good. When it's not, it's not that complicated to drill down to why not. I love your comment about helping her feel special. You can't "make" her feel safe, since she has to have some inside peace, but you sure can help...IF there's trust and communication, attraction seems to get stronger.


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Fri, Oct 29, 2010 20:17

Quoting wwww12345:

I think you are talking about breeding season, not partnering. Partnering last a long time. Breeding,,, well, it is what it is. What was his name anyway?


Dubs, I think you are right - anyone can breed. But actually partnering, that is also, I think, a hope of many who are, for whatever reason, classified as breeder. Eh, no names honey, not today.


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Thu, Oct 28, 2010 23:57

Brave Honeyrose...overthinking is my forte! So much trouble I get myself into when sitting alone, typing late at night, lol. Thanks for the encouragement.


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