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How Do Salmon Swim Upstream? Sort by:
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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Thu, Oct 28, 2010 00:24

One of my best friends...a man I've never been involved with (yes, it can happen)...had an interesting conversation with me the other day. So curious that I wanted to Dead-Net Scroll the topic (plus, and PS, I miss you guys, lol). I mention that my friend is a man, because the analytical perspective is very different from the more emotional style of my girlfriends. I feel like a round-table on what equals ATTRACTION is in order. He said there is ONE and ONLY one reason a man and woman can't get it together. Oh, the back-story: So...think about the thousands of ancestors we have, and how each one of them, whatever their anomalies, found (TADA) a partner to mate with. Lasting or not, we are the direct result of this complete crap-shoot. Of all the super-highways that needed to be navigated, we alone succeeded quadrillions of fishies that never made it home. We may be luckier to be alive than if we never played the California Lottery and won anyway. So...each of our creators chose each other for some reason or other, and the bet is that it didn’t always have to do with race, religion, wealth, political alignment, nationality, age, looks, size, . We don't get it together BECAUSE, my friend says, we stand in our own way of simple attraction. Fears, desires, failures, needs – these are tools we use to kill our own our passion and possibility. Why? I don't know. But I am "informed" that when a person is REALLY ready to partner, all they need to complete the equation is another person that is also REALLY ready to partner. ATTRACTION...That’s the assertion - that if it's there, most other qualifications are irrelevant. So...here’s my question of the day: how do YOU define raw-gut ATTRACTION?? Is it about sexuality? Temperament? Some mystical ability or learned skill to make your desired one feel safe and special? What do you do when it seems like the stars align, but then strangely take a back-swing? Freak out? Get needy? Withdraw? Negotiate? Bake cookies?? Ok, School O’Eva is now taking feedback.


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Arizona53
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Posted on Tue, Dec 28, 2010 21:20

How about, sit back, relax and thank your lucky stars.......LOL!

 

When my last realtionship ended I said thank you.....so it seems only fitting.....



"The best way to predict the future....Is to create it."

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fishyme
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Posted on Mon, Dec 27, 2010 22:18

Entrapment!!! I thought this was about fish.My salmon don't get the chance to make it to the stream.


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migliore
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Posted on Sun, Dec 12, 2010 12:13

Ciao Gently,

 

Definitely think it would be good for you to set up an alternative to Timberoo's "Cigar Lounge".  First of all, the cigar-smoking, rough hewn ways of the males who congregate there call out for refinement influenced by the gentle spirits of the loftier gender.  

 

Also, there seems to be an attempt on the part of Lounge congregants to get women to act more like men and even consider themselves to be privileged to be allowed to enter into a mens lair.  We all know that the world is a better place when men begin to see the depth, breadth and grace of women's point of view.  

 

Before more women become cigar converts and start putting their feet up on the furniture, let's roll out the alternative.  You know I've always been a proponent of uplifting dialogue of the type only women can inspire.

 

When is the grand opening?  With JohnnyB out of the way I think we can do this while still honoring him appropriately with a special light lit in his honor this Holiday Season.  His precious loved one would approve.

 

Il tuo buon amico con il cuore del tessoro,

 

Migs



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migliore
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Posted on Fri, Dec 10, 2010 07:45

Quoting Timberoo:

Class dismissed!?  No, I'm "HOT for TEACHER"

 

 

 

OMG....WIPE THOSE "BLUES" AWAY, TIMBEROO'S HERE!



Timber,

Did I ever tell you about my high school Latin teacher?  Hot, hot, hot!

Miggy



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migliore
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Posted on Fri, Dec 10, 2010 04:58

Gently,

Sites like MM exist because people like to overthink, make things complicated, blog, banter and find amusement.  Opra has made millions because people like to chit-chat, and that's OK.  Only pointing out that having a life is all about taking action, and that can be fun too.

You've known at least since you were 4...be yourself, let it flow, know what you know, want what you want, do what you do, you're the best.

Roger, Timber, about the joys of a Manning jersey.  To paraphrase DonnaBellezza's friend, getting out of our way and letting things happen is exhilarating, like what Brandon Jacobs did last Sunday.  

And to quote a great one who once dwelled among us...

eeeeeeeeeear!


Truly he lived life to the fullest.  In his honor may we go out and make this Christmas joyous, peaceful and fun.

 



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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Thu, Dec 09, 2010 22:34

Quoting migliore:

Guys, I hear you.  Still you're making this way too complicated.  Go out and play the game.  Have fun. You'll get better.  It's not about thinking so much about it.  And when thinks go off track...

   "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again."



Way too complicated? I agree I often over-think...but with a caveat...if it was totally "uncomplicated" to find the ONE, the true everlasting love of your life, the golden needle in a haystack, sites like MM would not exist, lol.


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Thu, Dec 09, 2010 22:32

Quoting Timberoo:

Had to save this from John's fate...needed a place to store it forever!  XO! Hope you don't mind but I also though you'd cherish this one~~~~~~~>

 

THIS ONE HAS NEVER CHEATED...NEVER!
OTHERS, I can't speak for...



Do you mean "John" is a non-cheater but Gar may be?


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Wed, Dec 08, 2010 04:43

Quoting migliore:

Guys, I hear you.  Still you're making this way too complicated.  Go out and play the game.  Have fun. You'll get better.  It's not about thinking so much about it.  And when thinks go off track...

   "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again."



Migs, I hear you too. And have to respond that things often seem complicated when written. You will never feel the best essence of a person this way (and if you could, they should consider a writing career), so it becomes a simple discussion of what lies inward. I will speak for myself...living out loud, I get into lots of trouble, have lots of fun, apologize often and, in "real life", will never be fully represented by a selection of Arabic symbols. Even so, if you read my question, and (as you often do) have a helpful answer, I am encouraged to continue asking.


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migliore
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Posted on Tue, Dec 07, 2010 19:37

Quoting GentlyWoman:

Timber, this may be the best thing I've seen you write. Ok, I had my full 60 seconds of angst, posted herein, but this posting takes the day. I picked out this from your response: Totally fallen = Hope Survived = Resilience Take Any Chances = Willingness Defending Her = Belief Never Looking for Better = Loyalty If she's happier without me = Strength Filet Mignon = Tenderness What better combination can a man possess?? These are the things your woman will be lucky to find in one single man! I will wish you the best here, and in my bedtime prayers, ask kindly that she will be as special to you as you allow yourself to be for her. You deserve as much, if you truly believe as you describe!


Guys, I hear you.  Still you're making this way too complicated.  Go out and play the game.  Have fun. You'll get better.  It's not about thinking so much about it.  And when thinks go off track...

   "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again."



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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Sat, Dec 04, 2010 22:11

Quoting Timberoo:

Well, I've met(spoke often to) someone recently and have totally fallen for them and am 110% "ready to receive"...ya know what, I've taken shots before and survived them all, some disappointments harder to overcome than others but all difficult in their own way.  This one seems to be the most compatable and sweetest of all. So the question is, at what point do they go "all in" for me...that's a huge problem!  I know what I receive I will make work and deal with any issues as they confront me/us. Developing a relationship & experiences together overshadows any downfalls in attraction, and how could one not be attracted to someone they admire so much? As far as being attracted physically, the mental attraction makes that easy!  I know from pictures that she's physically acceptable and turns me on...I'm sure her real touch will only enhance this aspect.  Hey if you sit on here all day long for months and don't "take any chances" you may be burried, alone!  Anyone as sweet as this woman, is easy to love, YES, I said easy!!!!!  I will be content and never looking for better, better means ruining our experiences and lasting moments. Like I say in my profile, DO NOT wait long girls, for the one who takes me away, who shows an interest, well, I'm hers unconditionally. I will be with her, her teammate, always defending her actions and intent publically, lovin' privately and publically, working out any issues, HAVING FUN, RARELY ARGUING and just giving it my all!  I KNOW HER CHARACTER FROM CONVERSATIONS! She makes me happy and smile, giving me drive and inspiration in life. 15 years I have "never" felt this way...I will worship this woman till she doesn't want me to!  "The ball is in her court"  She will be presently surprised that this type of man still exists in todays world AND feel loved in return for her committment(I've waited all this time and she is the first to tap me on my shoulder and say simply, hi! I want someone who wants me, that attracts me & the rest is a piece of cake!), when there was no one else! HUGS, forever and ever and EVER...."IF" when we meet she does not feel an attraction, It just won't be right, that's that, of course it will hurt but the love that has been shown already will overshadow any hurt and the knowing that she's Happier without me...we can not be selfish, this is love and a meshing of hearts...I just hope different streams don't keep these Salmon apart...it'll take effort. So far so good...

 

You want simple?  If a steak is put in front of you and you are hungry, are you going to eat it or at least try it? ....or starve!...and delay to the next unknown opportunity?  Only one way to find out(willingness)...we've all had a "bad steak"...and great Filet Mignon, that melts in your mouth and tastes like heaven-haha...simple!

 

 When the stars align, then seperate, you DO NOT, "Freak out? Get needy? Withdraw? Negotiate? Bake cookies??"  You hold hands, sit down, relax, talk like humans, work it through, thus making your "BOND" that much stronger 'cause your dealing with someone who accepts you unconditionally, who was accepted when no one else cared!!!!!  You have "long term" faith in all he is about...his kindness, his generosity, his wonderful heart! You realize, this man is special and unique! He has character...and realign your stars!  "TAKE HIM TO BED"...Gretchen Wilson!



Timber, this may be the best thing I've seen you write. Ok, I had my full 60 seconds of angst, posted herein, but this posting takes the day. I picked out this from your response: Totally fallen = Hope Survived = Resilience Take Any Chances = Willingness Defending Her = Belief Never Looking for Better = Loyalty If she's happier without me = Strength Filet Mignon = Tenderness What better combination can a man possess?? These are the things your woman will be lucky to find in one single man! I will wish you the best here, and in my bedtime prayers, ask kindly that she will be as special to you as you allow yourself to be for her. You deserve as much, if you truly believe as you describe!


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Curious2078
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Posted on Fri, Nov 19, 2010 12:43

Quoting GentlyWoman:

@ Mig, Shaz, Ray, Pat, Dekes, et Whoever al...What the hay, no?  

 

Love to keep my own thread alive, for the popularity contest, but in reality...it's just more bunk, isn't it? Really? My best friend is single for 20 years...a most beautiful, smart, caring and lovely woman. Who am I to ask for this more than once in a lifetime, the real uncontested non-gaming thing, when some NEVER see the beauty even ONCE? How greedy am I?

 

Sure, I want what my heart wants, but it seems like time to go back to patient, wait for my butterfly to land and rest on my peaceable shoulder.

 

Class is dismissed. 


Yippee. Recess time. Since we're all feeling a little blue here, it seems, let's take ourselves to that pub up the road with the dart boards and pool tables and friendly bartenders [friendly, gorgeous waitresses for the guys] and have a little party. I'll buy the first round.


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Curious2078
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Posted on Fri, Nov 19, 2010 12:41

Quoting shazbot82:

hi pat. Yeap. I keep trying. Then I give up for a bit and then try again. Sooner or later its got to take !


Sooner or later; let's hope it's sooner.


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Tue, Nov 16, 2010 01:31

@ Mig, Shaz, Ray, Pat, Dekes, et Whoever al...What the hay, no?  

 

Love to keep my own thread alive, for the popularity contest, but in reality...it's just more bunk, isn't it? Really? My best friend is single for 20 years...a most beautiful, smart, caring and lovely woman. Who am I to ask for this more than once in a lifetime, the real uncontested non-gaming thing, when some NEVER see the beauty even ONCE? How greedy am I?

 

Sure, I want what my heart wants, but it seems like time to go back to patient, wait for my butterfly to land and rest on my peaceable shoulder.

 

Class is dismissed. 



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shazbot82
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Posted on Mon, Nov 15, 2010 08:54

hi pat. Yeap. I keep trying. Then I give up for a bit and then try again. Sooner or later its got to take !


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Curious2078
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Posted on Wed, Nov 10, 2010 18:19

Hi Shaz. How right I think you are. Timing, certainly is close to everything. And, the older we get, the more "HURTS" we endure, the more closed off we are; the more skeptical we become. What's the answer? Heck, I don't know. I just wish all of us the very best. Wish all of us good loving. Here's to having the heart-strength to let our defenses down and risk getting hurt once again. Heck...we can do it. We're surely old enough to make wisdom out of pain. I hope everyone's tomorrow presents a love opportunity. Me included for sure. HAVE A SWELL THURSDAY, EVERYONE. A REALLY, REALLY GREART DAY.


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shazbot82
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Posted on Tue, Nov 09, 2010 07:51

i read only some of the posted comments. In essence,,your friend is 100% correct. If we are not open and ready to receive a mates love and attention and they are not equally open to giving it....then there is zero chance of a relationship. I ve had monster mutual attraction that never went anyplace.Mainly because I was not ready . Even though I thought I was. Now Im stuck with a bunch of men who are not ready themselves. It all seems to come down to timing. When ever it is slightly askew, nothing seems to fit right. I think younger people havce a much easier time finding love because they are far more open to the experiences and are not as hurt,disappointed,jaded,or list-oriented as we all seem to become later in life. STILL, I AM hopeful that I will eventually meet the man who is ready at the sane time I am. I have a date today, one tomorrow and hopefully one on friday as well. Sooner or later...one of these men IS going to be the ONE. If I live long enough. D


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Mon, Nov 08, 2010 03:49

Quoting deke7344:

I've often said the best divorces happen before marriage.


As in "thank you ma'am"? No Dekes, I'm afraid I actually seek your wisdom here and you are not released quite so easily :)


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migliore
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Posted on Sat, Nov 06, 2010 00:38

Citando Donna Gentile

 

Ok, then what when bells ring and only one of you hears them? lol. It does happen.

 

DonnaGentile you ask many questioni di cuore.   We guys have a saying, "take your opportunity." Just means to say something to get the attention of someone who is getting yours. if you're on their radar they are going to let you know. If you're clanging rather than ringing their bell, they'll also let you know.  In that case you try to keep it light.  

 

When i was starting to learn Italian there was an Italian woman working on post who was a doll and I  asked her out.  Her reaction was mixed.  She said several soldiers had asked her out, but she didn't know why because she didn't think she was that attractive..."Non penso sono molto bella,"  she said shaking her head.  To which I replied "Io penso".  Out popped one of the most beautiful smiles (sorrisi) I've seen.  She blushed and said, "Grazie, grazie."  

 

Reaching out to take someone's temperature can be divertente.  D'accordo? 




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Curious2078
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Posted on Thu, Nov 04, 2010 15:47

Quoting GentlyWoman:

True, Ray, jealousy sucks life-juice, as efficiently as a snoopy-sized mosquito. (Ok, random, I know, but it was the picture in my head). Some of my favorite people give, deeply (as in comfort), and are equally able to receive. Less favorite, those unable to give. Least favorite, in this order, those unable to receive. This last category robs me of a things I do in order to show love, and if I can't show love, I have little purpose.


As sad as it may seem sometimes, I think when we run into potential lovers/mates who cannot receive, cannot take, the best thing is to move on quickly.  People who have shackles around their hearts cannot ever receive or take until they themselves remove those shackles.  And before they can do that, they have to stop being afraid that love with kill them.

 

It is possible, sometimes, to get through to such people, but at what cost to yourself?

 



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