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Hey Gals...are you guilty of this? Sort by:
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Posted on Tue, Apr 20, 2010 12:27

Today I received an email from a member, asking me to view her photos and tell her if I felt some of them might be sending the wrong message to men------well I did and yes there were several that might have been sending the wrong message.  This caused me to do a little research of profiles here on the site and I found this one, very interesting comment on a male member's profile:

 

" I do have a comment/question..... Why, when 96% of you girls, present a seductive, provocative picture of yourselves, with sexuality posted front and centre in your profiles, feel men shouldn't make a sexual ineundo to you??????"

 

I just wanted to pass this on as "food for thought", since the comment came from a man.

 

As always--Stay Safe and Keep It Covered Up!

 

Britt

 

MM Counselor



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Lisaprendergast
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Posted on Sun, Apr 25, 2010 15:46

Quoting thenewman

I know Bill.....Whatever normal is?????? 



You guys know exactly what i meant.

Make fun of it and think you get a hall pass for being dumb.

OK I do not like nor do I understand guys who think they can speak ot write sexually explicit stuff to me when I hardly know him. There are those phone lines they advertise on late night TV, in the back of trash rags, I believe any quality human will, or should rise above that kind of nonsense and act with a modicum of decorum.

Sooo

call me crazy,

Not

Lisa



Life is a box of chocolates... and, most poor fools are starving to death!!

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shazbot82
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Posted on Sun, Apr 25, 2010 00:24

Quoting Ame_Bella

Hi BettyBlack, You couldn't have made a more clear point! Crude comments are never appreciated. While the thought may be lingering, never should one act upon it. There does seem to be a double standard where it's not okay for a woman to be a bit showy but, it is okay for guys to take off their shirts?? There was no mention of men on this blog as it was only directed towards women as the title states. Thanks for the great comment!!! :)


beef cake is nice to look at but i am not going to make my decisions on who to date by their photos.

 If they are shanky pics, then the person most likely has that propensity. NOT what  i am after.

people just need to be aware of what their image IS. Its ok to post whatver youwant IF it gets you what you WANT.

  be respectable and you will receive respect.



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Posted on Fri, Apr 23, 2010 01:46

Everyone should be allowed to do their own thing, but be prepared for any consequences. I personally feel putting provacative pictures up would tend to attract the wrong attention. I do, however, know many women who have been led to believe that good looks and sex are all they have to offer. This is sad, but on the other hand maybe these women are truly proud of the way they look. I am sure they worked very hard for their bodies. How is showing off their "assets" any different than all the men on here that are shirtless in every picture they post? I make judgments about these men just as they make judgments about women, only most of my thoughts are: Man, this guy is really into himself or that guy really needs to put his shirt back on! They are only thoughts though and no matter how much I would love to message them and make sarcastic comments I do not. It is called respect for individuality and more people should try it.


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MMCounselor Recommended
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Posted on Thu, Apr 22, 2010 08:36

Quoting BlackPearl666

I confess that I am guilty of not posting provocative photos so that I am labelled as Prude by some Gentlemen :)


Hi BlackPearl,

Nothing wrong with Prude. 

Thanks for the comment

Britt

MM Counselor



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Posted on Thu, Apr 22, 2010 08:33

Quoting READY4UNOW

Hey Britt,

 

Good post but it's sure stirring up some controversy! I myself totally agree with what this man has posted, and he is just voicing his opinion so why so many are going off the deep end analyzing what he meant and putting their own spin on it is interesting.

 

I listened recently to a telecall from Bryan Redfield who specializes in teaching the art of dating and is also a psychologist I believe. He had a very simple, direct approach to straight forward dating that I really liked. He said it all boiled down to 2 types of dating, either you're looking for a serious, long term committed relationship (non-physical initial attraction qualities) or you're looking for short term (physical initial attraction qualities). If you're looking for long term with a quality man, then the non-physical attraction factors are best. The #1 mistake women make is dressing as much as possible in a sexually revealing way. The men you attract by doing this are generally only attracted physically and for the short term. If you want a long term relationship, dress more conservatively to avoid attracting the only physical short term men. He interviewed 109 men who were successfully dating and 102 women and this was what they came up with from the men.

 

Our profiles on online dating sites are our calling cards, our ad, our marketing of ourselves to attract a partner. They are not multi-dimensional that a viewer can grasp who we are in an instant, they are pictures and words to either attract someone to explore further, or not. I am saddened to see so many women having nothing but sexually revealing photos of themselves. As a woman I feel we have so much more to offer than just our breasts or butts and I feel women are selling themselves short by posting these leave nothing to the imagination photos. If they feel this is the only way to attract a partner, I feel sad about that somehow. If on the other hand, all they're interested in is a short term sexual relationship, then I guess these types of photos do the trick. The ones who are looking for a quality, long term man will not be attracting that type of man and many complain only the pervs contact them. If I see one more female profile claiming they're “classy” while hanging it all out there for every stranger to see on a public dating site, I think I'm going to barf :(. “Classy” women don't do this period.

 

I'm a big believer in Law of Attraction, what you put out there will come back. If you're not having the kind of partner you'd like responding to your profile, then assess why and do something to correct it, if you're happy with what's showing up – continue doing what you're doing. It is all about the message/ad/profile you've created. There are plenty of ways to dress sexy and show off your curves without showing everything you own. I saw a few comments that women with very provocative photos revealing pretty much what they're offering deserve respect, I feel that if a woman respects herself, she won't be posting these kinds of photos and will choose to share that very private part of herself with her partner only. It's up to everyone to make that decision for themselves, but the proof is in the pudding as to what is showing up.



Hi Ready,

Yes, it appears this topic has struck a few nerves, but that is ok. 

While I am not a big fan of the sexually, let it all hangout photos that many women post on here, I do realize that is the way they wish to portray themselves.  What upsets me the most is when women put up provocative photos and then contact me saying men are making rude remarks or initiating perverted chat with them, or they are only getting emails from men wanting sex-----hellooooo.  I think you and conyers addressed this issue very well and I thank you for taking your time to comment.

As you said, "the proof is in the pudding as to what is showing up".  This is so true and the Law of Attraction will prevail.

As always, best wishes to you,

Britt

MM Counselor

 

 



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Posted on Thu, Apr 22, 2010 08:07

Quoting Conyersguy

Ame, No one would suggest that ANY photos should excuse ANY bad behavior, including all that mentioned here. But it is quite a different thing to say that a sexual assault (i.e. criminal behavior) not being justified by scanty clothing or underage girls is anywhere in the ballpark with off-center emails or chat. In today's world, anyone should know that even HAVING an internet connection is going to subject you to some unacceptable contact. (I really don't want to receive the ads for 'male enhancement' or 'stay up' products that used to be daily fodder, for instance. I never know whether to be flattered they care, or insulted that they think I need them????):) After five minutes online history, you should know that sexy pics are going to get crude comments. I AM NOT SAYING IT IS O.K. But to pretend you don't know it is going to occur is ludicrous. When you turn your computer 'on' you should do it accepting the fact that some jerks will try to contact you. Do with them what you wish. I am even in favor of someone correcting this, and trading off some freedom of speech for some common decency. You are right, respect SHOULD come with breathing. But it ain't gonna happen. I don't like baggy shorts or multple piercings or tattoos. But I'm pretty sure I am going to have to be the one to adapt to seeing them, rather than change it. And the more sexy pics, the more crude comments. If you wish to post them, be prepared for the consequences. (Kinda like everything else you do on the planet. If the consquences are O.K., fine. If not, modify your behavior and you will modify the consequences.) And remember, I didn't say it was right. But as a favorite friend used to say to her girls, "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it." CG


Hey CG,

Great comment!

Thanks for taking the time to give your take on this subject.  I always appreciate hearing the male version on these topics. 

Kudoos to you!

Britt

MM Counselor



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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Wed, Apr 21, 2010 09:17

Hey Britt,

 

Good post but it's sure stirring up some controversy! I myself totally agree with what this man has posted, and he is just voicing his opinion so why so many are going off the deep end analyzing what he meant and putting their own spin on it is interesting.

 

I listened recently to a telecall from Bryan Redfield who specializes in teaching the art of dating and is also a psychologist I believe. He had a very simple, direct approach to straight forward dating that I really liked. He said it all boiled down to 2 types of dating, either you're looking for a serious, long term committed relationship (non-physical initial attraction qualities) or you're looking for short term (physical initial attraction qualities). If you're looking for long term with a quality man, then the non-physical attraction factors are best. The #1 mistake women make is dressing as much as possible in a sexually revealing way. The men you attract by doing this are generally only attracted physically and for the short term. If you want a long term relationship, dress more conservatively to avoid attracting the only physical short term men. He interviewed 109 men who were successfully dating and 102 women and this was what they came up with from the men.

 

Our profiles on online dating sites are our calling cards, our ad, our marketing of ourselves to attract a partner. They are not multi-dimensional that a viewer can grasp who we are in an instant, they are pictures and words to either attract someone to explore further, or not. I am saddened to see so many women having nothing but sexually revealing photos of themselves. As a woman I feel we have so much more to offer than just our breasts or butts and I feel women are selling themselves short by posting these leave nothing to the imagination photos. If they feel this is the only way to attract a partner, I feel sad about that somehow. If on the other hand, all they're interested in is a short term sexual relationship, then I guess these types of photos do the trick. The ones who are looking for a quality, long term man will not be attracting that type of man and many complain only the pervs contact them. If I see one more female profile claiming they're “classy” while hanging it all out there for every stranger to see on a public dating site, I think I'm going to barf :(. “Classy” women don't do this period.

 

I'm a big believer in Law of Attraction, what you put out there will come back. If you're not having the kind of partner you'd like responding to your profile, then assess why and do something to correct it, if you're happy with what's showing up – continue doing what you're doing. It is all about the message/ad/profile you've created. There are plenty of ways to dress sexy and show off your curves without showing everything you own. I saw a few comments that women with very provocative photos revealing pretty much what they're offering deserve respect, I feel that if a woman respects herself, she won't be posting these kinds of photos and will choose to share that very private part of herself with her partner only. It's up to everyone to make that decision for themselves, but the proof is in the pudding as to what is showing up.



What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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Posted on Wed, Apr 21, 2010 06:19

Quoting shazbot82

have you SEEN my photos ?

LOL.pretty far from " seductive"



LOL---Shaz, I do see a little cleavage showing on a couple of your photos--just kiddin' ya!

 



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Posted on Wed, Apr 21, 2010 06:13

Quoting smax117

Hey Britt,

A woman who was amply endowed had photos that showed exactly how endowed she was.  I winked her about how great her smile was.  We emailed and chatted for a couple weeks then went to yahoo.  We never dated (our politics were way too far apart) but we stayed friends.  I never said one word about her breasts in any of our chats.  One day she told me she had purposely put the seductive photos up to screen out the jerks.  Her thought was that if a man could chat with her for a few weeks and not mention her breasts, not ask for more photos, and not make crude comments he would be a gentleman.  She wanted a gentleman and knew the jerks would eventually break down and say something. 

 

 



smax--thanks for your comment.  Your friend has an interesting strategy and if it works for her, GREAT! 

Britt

MM Counselor



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Posted on Wed, Apr 21, 2010 06:06

Quoting candeee

Im guilty of this crime...but it seems that when the camera is out. Oh and family gatherings but im not putting those pictures up.

75percent of the time I'm running around doing errons and chores in my sweats or pj's.  I'm not sure those are attractive.



Hey Candee,

Remember, you can always cleanse your sins and visit the Automated Confessional Booth.

PJs and sweats are definitely taboo!

Britt

MM Counselor



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Posted on Wed, Apr 21, 2010 06:03

Quoting Tinkerbelle

lol Bill you are so funny...

As for the pics I would have thought that even if the pics are a little seductive that shouldnt interfere with  good manners when communicating with each other.

By the Way ARE there any male crotch shots on here? if there are im going to echo Bill .... send me a list .... lol just for research purposes you understand LMAO



Hi Tink,

I agree,  nothing should interfere with good manners when communicating.

I am sorry to report that all of the crotch shots have been spoken for--appears there are lots of ladies doing research work--haha!

Best wishes to you!

Britt

MM Counselor



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Posted on Wed, Apr 21, 2010 05:05

Quoting MMCounselor

Today I received an email from a member, asking me to view her photos and tell her if I felt some of them might be sending the wrong message to men------well I did and yes there were several that might have been sending the wrong message.  This caused me to do a little research of profiles here on the site and I found this one, very interesting comment on a male member's profile:

 

" I do have a comment/question..... Why, when 96% of you girls, present a seductive, provocative picture of yourselves, with sexuality posted front and centre in your profiles, feel men shouldn't make a sexual ineundo to you??????"

 

I just wanted to pass this on as "food for thought", since the comment came from a man.

 

As always--Stay Safe and Keep It Covered Up!

 

Britt

 

MM Counselor



Im guilty of this crime...but it seems that when the camera is out. Oh and family gatherings but im not putting those pictures up.

75percent of the time I'm running around doing errons and chores in my sweats or pj's.  I'm not sure those are attractive.



Candy...;)

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Posted on Wed, Apr 21, 2010 04:54

Quoting billzeke

Hey George. This shirt is for you. lolol...



I would love too someone in this shirt....lmao  I might even piss my pants laughing



Candy...;)

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shazbot82
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Posted on Wed, Apr 21, 2010 00:26

have you SEEN my photos ?

LOL.pretty far from " seductive"



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Tue, Apr 20, 2010 22:21

Quoting billzeke

Hi Britt. Would you please email me a list of the worst offenders. lol...



lol Bill you are so funny...

As for the pics I would have thought that even if the pics are a little seductive that shouldnt interfere with  good manners when communicating with each other.

By the Way ARE there any male crotch shots on here? if there are im going to echo Bill .... send me a list .... lol just for research purposes you understand LMAO



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The_Rose
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Posted on Tue, Apr 20, 2010 21:05

Quoting thenewman

Hey Rose Bud....Be a Rose and open your profile so we can see those pics!!  :)



Gman,My pictures??What about my profile lol??.Oh thats right the 30 second span:-)I keep saying in a few days:-)..But in your honor how about this picture:-)??


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The_Rose
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Posted on Tue, Apr 20, 2010 20:28

Quoting thenewman

Hey Smax.  Welcome to BlogLand!! 

 

I disagree with your friends tactics.  For example if I put a penis picture out here (which of course would have to be down sized to fit MM's memory criteria...lol) the only women worthy of me would be women who did not bring up my huge penis picture?? 



 George,this from the man with the  best chest and ab pictures on the site:-).Holy double-standards lol.Were talking cleavage not crotch shots lmao



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Posted on Tue, Apr 20, 2010 20:12

Quoting thenewman

Hey Smax.  Welcome to BlogLand!! 

 

I disagree with your friends tactics.  For example if I put a penis picture out here (which of course would have to be down sized to fit MM's memory criteria...lol) the only women worthy of me would be women who did not bring up my huge penis picture?? 



LOL..george....that was funny! So are you gonna post that pic?

ok, out of my comfort zone, I know...just couldn't resist....:-)

Theo



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Posted on Tue, Apr 20, 2010 19:46

Quoting smax117

Hey Britt,

A woman who was amply endowed had photos that showed exactly how endowed she was.  I winked her about how great her smile was.  We emailed and chatted for a couple weeks then went to yahoo.  We never dated (our politics were way too far apart) but we stayed friends.  I never said one word about her breasts in any of our chats.  One day she told me she had purposely put the seductive photos up to screen out the jerks.  Her thought was that if a man could chat with her for a few weeks and not mention her breasts, not ask for more photos, and not make crude comments he would be a gentleman.  She wanted a gentleman and knew the jerks would eventually break down and say something. 

 

 



Hey Smax.  Welcome to BlogLand!! 

 

I disagree with your friends tactics.  For example if I put a penis picture out here (which of course would have to be down sized to fit MM's memory criteria...lol) the only women worthy of me would be women who did not bring up my huge penis picture?? 



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