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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Fri, Mar 19, 2010 17:57

Ok, I'll get ya'll goin' here...

You might be a redneck if...

  1. Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off.
  2. You think potted meat on a saltine is a hors d'oeuvre.
  3. There is a stuffed possum mounted anywhere in your home.
  4. You consider a six pack of beer and a bug zapper quality entertainment.
  5. The primary color of your car is "Bondo."
  6. Directions to your house include: "turn off the paved road."
  7. Your family tree does not fork.
  8. Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
  9. You've ever hollered "Rock the house, Bubba!" during your kid's piano recital.
  10. You've ever barbecued SPAM on the grill.

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billzeke
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Posted on Mon, Feb 21, 2011 16:22

Bubba and Billy Joe are walking down the street in Atlanta, and they see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.00 each!, shirts $2.00 each, pants $2.50 each. Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Joe , Look here! We could buy a whole gob of these, take 'em back to Sand Mountain, sell 'em to our friends, and make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin' 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant, and not wanna sell that stuff to us. Now, I'll talk in a slow Georgia drawl so's they don't know we is from Alabama ..." They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Georgia drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, 50 pairs of them there pants at $2.50 each. I'll back up my pickup and...." The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from North Alabama, ain' t ya?" "Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba...."How come you knowed that? "Because this is a dry-cleaners."


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billzeke
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Posted on Mon, Feb 21, 2011 16:21

Two rednecks are sitting on the front porch. One says, "Did you know that the elks have sex 10 to 15 times a night?" "Aw darn..," says his friend, "I just joined the American Legion!"

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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Mon, Nov 15, 2010 14:57

Yes, my cultured multi-lingual gentleman.  If said hardware store also has a refrigerator with milk, cheese, beer and microwaveable burritos, you are most assuredly Redneck.



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migliore
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Posted on Sun, Nov 14, 2010 08:56

Donna Gentilezza,

 

How 'bout if your local hardware store sends out fliers to let you know they've got a special on cow feed?  Does that increase the possibility you might be a red neck?

 

 

 



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Rockonchicky77
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Posted on Thu, Jul 15, 2010 13:21

REDNECK LAUGH WELL REDNECK LIVE WELL REDNECK MAKE FRIENDS


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Rockonchicky77
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Posted on Thu, Jul 15, 2010 13:18

REDNECK I AM YES I AM COUNTRY LOVE THE COUNTRY YES I GOT RED BANNDANA TO PROVE IT I PROUD TO BE REDNECK I GOT THREE CHICKS THEY GROWING UP INTO CHICKENS NATURE WAY LOL YES CHICKENS ROCK ME TOO I REDNECK I CHASE MY CHICKS THEY LOVE FREEDOM TOO!


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shazbot82
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Posted on Wed, Jun 16, 2010 20:39

Quoting BeverlyAZ

...if U try to put your groceries at Piggly Wiggly on the lay-away plan. ...if the way u proposed was "nice a** , get in the truck'!


something to be said for the direct approach...worked for me,,sort of


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Wed, Jun 09, 2010 23:59

Quoting BeverlyAZ

...if U try to put your groceries at Piggly Wiggly on the lay-away plan. ...if the way u proposed was "nice a** , get in the truck'!


These are new to me! I think I can get my hands on a truck...does this technique work? Maybe there's a real relationship in my future, lol.



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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Wed, Jun 09, 2010 23:56

Quoting Lynncat

Hey I kid you not!  I met this guy who had no picture on the internet.  When he showed up at my door I took him to the "mud Bogs" at the Paw Paw Fair.  That way we could mix in with the crowd and no one could see me or think nothing.  I met this man on this site (one of those real creatures) and took him to the mountains where there was no cell service.

Honest!!!  I live in WV folks.

 

Does that qualify me?  I think I might be a Redneck.


Lynn Cat...you must certainly qualify, if any of us do, as a card carrying REDNECK...and I mean that in the most loving way, so ya know :)



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BeverlyAZ
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Posted on Mon, Jun 07, 2010 23:01

...if U try to put your groceries at Piggly Wiggly on the lay-away plan. ...if the way u proposed was "nice a** , get in the truck'!


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Lynncat
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Posted on Tue, May 25, 2010 21:32

Hey I kid you not!  I met this guy who had no picture on the internet.  When he showed up at my door I took him to the "mud Bogs" at the Paw Paw Fair.  That way we could mix in with the crowd and no one could see me or think nothing.  I met this man on this site (one of those real creatures) and took him to the mountains where there was no cell service.

Honest!!!  I live in WV folks.

 

Does that qualify me?  I think I might be a Redneck.



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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Thu, May 06, 2010 00:17

Oh, my neglect is soooo redneck. I've got blogs parked in front of my trailor I don't even drive!

 

@ Empess and Conyers, I have to agree, as much as they're fun to stereotype (and c'mon, a cliche is only repeated because it's true), there is a quality about the simple unpretentiousness that I totally love.

 

@ JMSuccess...Howdy pardner.

 

And because I love y'all, I have a present...Google "The Dialectizer" to translate your favorite news pages into redneck.  Throw in your URL and viola - a translation of a Wall Street Journal article:

 

Researchers identified a rare junetic mutashun thet may open a noo avenue fo' treatin' Tourette syndrome in a study published Wednesday thet examined a fambly in which th' Pappy an' all eight chillun suffer fum th' neurological diso'der.

Th' fambly's mutashun affecked a june required t'prodooce histamine. Pharmaceutical companies is already developin' drugs fo' other corndishuns thet targit th' brain's histamine system, dawgone it. Th' study's researchers is plannin' a clinical trial of adults wif Tourette t'see eff'n them drugs'd he'p corntrol th' moto' an' vocal tics thet chareeckerize th' condishun.

Tourette syndrome is believed t'affeck 1% of th' populashun. Th' condishun is not life-thrett upin' but kin be debilitatin'. Th' tics, which kin involve eye blinkin', gruntin' an' shoutin', offen appear initially in mid-chilehood, cuss it all t' tarnation. Scientists doesn't knows th' diso'der's cuz but believe it has a strong junetic component.



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shazbot82
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Posted on Wed, May 05, 2010 19:25

Quoting GentlyWoman

Shaz, due to the recent post I read that you would not be meeting me in the city, I feel that our only option will be that I come paint your house for you.  Can I decide afterward if I want to apply as your wife?  It may really come down to your color choices, whether or not we will be compatible.

 

I think this would qualify me as a NorCal Redneck, don't you?



Tar-NAtion ! I completely MISSED this.

yeah you can decide after i pick the colors.

and we WILL meet up soon, my Magic 8 Ball said so !



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shazbot82
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Posted on Wed, May 05, 2010 19:08

Quoting The_Rose

Redneck airbags..



I was wondering what ever happened to Esther !

She got herself a new gig as an airbag !

The PoleCat can be proud !

( our old guard Limp Wrist before there was a limp)



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The_Rose
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Posted on Wed, Apr 28, 2010 16:58

Redneck airbags..


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billzeke
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Posted on Wed, Apr 28, 2010 15:57

How a Redneck with a backhoe gets even...


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The_Rose
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Posted on Mon, Apr 26, 2010 19:38

Quoting GentlyWoman

LOL.  Now THAT's classic.  You must have quite the wardrobe, Rose.



GW,You have no idea:-)It's starting to get warm here:-) Wanna go swimming in da pool LMAO


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Posted on Mon, Apr 26, 2010 16:12

To quote Trace and Blake, "We all have a Hillbilly bone down deep inside..." The music says it all. Hank Williams,Johnny Cash, Miranda Lambert,etc. It's easy to joke about it, but I mooved to redneck land from the West Coast, and the people are really kind, giving, although a bit concrete in their thinking.


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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Tue, Apr 06, 2010 23:51

Quoting The_Rose

And don't forget the tee shirt lol



LOL.  Now THAT's classic.  You must have quite the wardrobe, Rose.



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