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Arizona53
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Posted on Tue, Mar 16, 2010 08:21

This was sent to me the other day.....the names have been changed to protect the innocent....LMAO!

 

A photographer on vacation was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.

The man, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The man thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta . There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

'O.K., thank you,' he said.

He then traveled to Indianapolis , Washington , Philadelphia , Boston , and New York .

In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '$10,000 per call' sign under it.

Upon leaving Vermont decided to travel up to Canada to see if Canadians had the same phone.

He arrived in Canada , and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 cents per call.'

He was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'

The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Canada now, son ... it's a local call.'
 



"The best way to predict the future....Is to create it."

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Arizona53
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Posted on Tue, Mar 23, 2010 11:53

Quoting CDinCO

UH.... boooooooo ;-) and I'm not even Canadian!!!!


Can I be confused?  Are you dissin' me.....LOL!



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CDinCO
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Posted on Mon, Mar 22, 2010 12:23

UH.... boooooooo ;-) and I'm not even Canadian!!!!


Courtney :)

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Arizona53
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Posted on Mon, Mar 22, 2010 11:39

Quoting Conyersguy

Sorry AZ,  I didn't take offense.  I just forgot to put the little smileys on my comment :):)



Whew!!!!....



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Arizona53
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Posted on Mon, Mar 22, 2010 09:44

Quoting Conyersguy

You say "Redneck" like it's a bad thing.??????    And if anyone is missing their dose of redneck, there is a cable show (And I SWEAR I am not making it up that it comes on "The History Channel" here in Atlanta !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ) at about midnight Sunday nights.   Titled "Madhouse" it is a reality / documentary ( ??) about a week in the life of a 1/4 mile racing short track in North Carolina.   It is blindingly real.  I recommend a few episodes for anyone who wants to study the anthropology of the N*scar types (and many other rural southerners.)  I literally know, or have known, one of every one of these guys (and women, too.)  

 

But for someone who didn't grow up around it, I bet it is jaw-droppingly illuminating.    For those of us who did grow up around it, well, it's just Uncle Bob (and he's just thataway.) :):)



CG, I didn't mean it as a bad thing......sorry if you took it that way.....people are different all over, including Canadians, and trust me we have Redneck's too, different forms, but Rednecks all the same!  I am afraid people from the south didn't corner that market....LOL!

 

If we were all the same, we'd be so boring......I like all the differences and I accept everyone the way they are, the best I can, anyway with only a few exceptions!.....LOL!



"The best way to predict the future....Is to create it."

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Arizona53
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Posted on Sun, Mar 21, 2010 20:13

Quoting GentlyWoman

LOL.  I'm born and raised in California, but my family was from Kansas and Missouri.  My grandmother, who lived with my family "warshed dishes" until she died.  For fun, she used to remove her false teeth and chase us around the house threatening to kiss us :)  Yeah, I practiced my drawl and learned to square dance, as it's part of my heritage that I'm not ashamed of, as lederhosen is for the Bavarian.



I spent about 3 days in Nashville once, took me 2 weeks to lose my new found accent! I drove my kids crazy, kept saying "Y'All git" didn't matter where they were goin'..... I'd hate to hear what would happen if I became a permanent resident! I know the book says when in Rome....but, sometimes "I just cain't hep masef"......LMAO!



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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Sun, Mar 21, 2010 19:14

Quoting Conyersguy

Eva, Yours were pretty well on target.   Those of us born in the promised land just have a dialectical advantage on you disadvantaged non-southerners.  Come practice anytime.  Delta is ready when you are (That was Lewis Grizzard's line every time he heard some yankee complaining about how we "don't do it like thay did up north."

 

And AZ, "ya got me" was one of my punch lines WAY before Ron White came up with it.   I loved all that DVD, and especially him, but saw him in Atlanta lasr spring and was VERY disappointed.   I rew up around the cursing at deer hunting camp, and he would have made those guys and a group fo stevedores blush.  And maybe due to a reported marital breakup at the time, but his ;humor' was off-the-charts degrading of women.   I think it is perfectly fien to abuse BOTH sexes silly shortcomings, but he was WAY too far overboard for me to enjoy it....and I loved much of his earlier work.



LOL.  I'm born and raised in California, but my family was from Kansas and Missouri.  My grandmother, who lived with my family "warshed dishes" until she died.  For fun, she used to remove her false teeth and chase us around the house threatening to kiss us :)  Yeah, I practiced my drawl and learned to square dance, as it's part of my heritage that I'm not ashamed of, as lederhosen is for the Bavarian.



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Arizona53
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Posted on Sun, Mar 21, 2010 17:01

Quoting Conyersguy

Eva, Yours were pretty well on target.   Those of us born in the promised land just have a dialectical advantage on you disadvantaged non-southerners.  Come practice anytime.  Delta is ready when you are (That was Lewis Grizzard's line every time he heard some yankee complaining about how we "don't do it like thay did up north."

 

And AZ, "ya got me" was one of my punch lines WAY before Ron White came up with it.   I loved all that DVD, and especially him, but saw him in Atlanta lasr spring and was VERY disappointed.   I rew up around the cursing at deer hunting camp, and he would have made those guys and a group fo stevedores blush.  And maybe due to a reported marital breakup at the time, but his ;humor' was off-the-charts degrading of women.   I think it is perfectly fien to abuse BOTH sexes silly shortcomings, but he was WAY too far overboard for me to enjoy it....and I loved much of his earlier work.



CG, I loved Ron White in the movie, kind of has a Dean Martin thing going on. Bill Engvall's stories are still the best though, the "Here your sign ones".....must be the sarcasm....I have not seen anything else by any of them lately, I seem to be a little behind on my humour.....LOL!

 

I remember when I first saw Jeff Foxworthy though, I am sure I came close to laughing hard enough to pee my pants....LMAO! I probably missed half of it......



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Arizona53
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Posted on Fri, Mar 19, 2010 18:22

Quoting GentlyWoman

That's it.  War.



Ooooppss! Oh well, I can handle it.  Have you ever seen "Blue Collar Comedy Tour?"



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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Fri, Mar 19, 2010 17:50

Quoting Arizona53

Hmmmmm, can you say Redneck......?  LMAO



That's it.  War.



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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Fri, Mar 19, 2010 17:48

Quoting Conyersguy

And down south here, it's not "shoot."   It's "sheeeee-it."  Three sylables if you do it well. :):)



Don't all the 4 letter ones have 3 syllables? lol.  I'm really appreciating the lesson, C.  I may have to come practice.



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Arizona53
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Posted on Fri, Mar 19, 2010 08:42

Quoting Conyersguy

And down south here, it's not "shoot."   It's "sheeeee-it."  Three sylables if you do it well. :):)



Hmmmmm, can you say Redneck......?  LMAO



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Arizona53
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Posted on Thu, Mar 18, 2010 11:49

Quoting GentlyWoman

Waill, shoot, ornery, I reckon you whupped up on me raght thar.  Cold as a welldiggers ass in March.  Knocked me flatter'n a panckake, yessiree.  Suppos'n if i caint run with the big dawgs, I aint worth a pluuuhgged nickle.

 

Oh, yeah...this girl is ALL-American. You Cain't Touch This.



LMAO...not sure I'd want to.....!



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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Thu, Mar 18, 2010 00:49

Quoting Conyersguy

It's "mouf"

 

not mouth.

 

:)



Waill, shoot, ornery, I reckon you whupped up on me raght thar.  Cold as a welldiggers ass in March.  Knocked me flatter'n a panckake, yessiree.  Suppos'n if i caint run with the big dawgs, I aint worth a pluuuhgged nickle.

 

Oh, yeah...this girl is ALL-American. You Cain't Touch This.



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Arizona53
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Posted on Wed, Mar 17, 2010 13:54

Quoting billzeke

LOL, AZ. Old MM ladies dancing at Diamond Tooth Gerties, Dawson City, Yukon Territory. Talk about a bargain.

 

 



I think I have a picture of me in similar garb, one halloween......LOL!



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billzeke
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Posted on Wed, Mar 17, 2010 12:12

Diamond Tooth Gerties


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billzeke
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Posted on Wed, Mar 17, 2010 12:11

LOL, AZ. Old MM ladies dancing at Diamond Tooth Gerties, Dawson City, Yukon Territory. Talk about a bargain.

 

 


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Arizona53
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Posted on Wed, Mar 17, 2010 11:55

Quoting billzeke

AZ... It's we Americans that should be concerned about the exchange rates. I can still remember visiting Canada when your dollar was worth about 70 cents USD., although even at par I still consider Canada a bargain. Don't worry. In July you should get some great travel deals if you visit FL.



We're a big, beautiful, bargain Bill! LOL! I have checked some flights as I will play golf with Theo in Dallas before we travel to Florida, there are some seat sales even now!

 

My enthusiasm for this trip is barely containable.....LOL!



"The best way to predict the future....Is to create it."

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billzeke
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Posted on Wed, Mar 17, 2010 11:49

AZ... It's we Americans that should be concerned about the exchange rates. I can still remember visiting Canada when your dollar was worth about 70 cents USD., although even at par I still consider Canada a bargain. Don't worry. In July you should get some great travel deals if you visit FL.



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Arizona53
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Posted on Wed, Mar 17, 2010 11:25

Quoting GentlyWoman

AND you can spell "expletive".  Dang if you ain't slicker than a greased hawg!!

 

...Unless you meant "excretive".  Then, lil missy, I WOULD take to warshin' your mouth out.



Eva my friend, you are too funny.....LOL!



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