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KATAZINA
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 15:51

That is wonderful! My ex-husband and I are BEST FRIENDS! we ahve beautiful boy together. We all go out to dinner and even go on vacations together. The best part about the whole thing is that this makes my boy happy. When I know he's happy, it's the best. Seems like this woman is a good person. She is able to put aside hurt feelings and see the qualities in her ex. Another good thing about it is that she doesn't have the "I hate men!" syndromn


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gallina2000
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 15:41

I think it is absolutely the only sane dicision  in a divorce



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CDinCO
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 14:01

Quoting niceguylooking

Oh Courtney (see) LOL,,, you women are all the same,, you just tease us old fell'as



Think what you will but I call'z um as I see'z um!!!!!!



Courtney :)

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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 12:01

Quoting CDinCO

See, if you keep saying things like "Oh Theo, they are just being friendly flirts."   You'll never find the right woman....

 

;-)



Oh Courtney (see) LOL,,, you women are all the same,, you just tease us old fell'as



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CDinCO
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 10:09

Quoting niceguylooking

Theo,, Yes, that sounds like quite a man that would do that for his wife,, not sure I would, but hey if it works for them,, awesome !

 

Oh Theo, they are just being friendly flirts.



See, if you keep saying things like "Oh Theo, they are just being friendly flirts."   You'll never find the right woman....

 

;-)



Courtney :)

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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 09:24

Quoting niceguylooking

Emmanuelle, I'm not so sure family dinner is a place to get to know her ex husband. I think like it has happened to me, I got to know my ex''s new husband at events. For example, we met while watching my son play in a golf tournament, him and I walked together for 18 holes while the ex wife lagged behind, close enough to keep an eye on us, but far enough where him and I could chat without her hearing us !  LOL  To me that was a great way because if either one of us got bad we could just walk away without any uncomfortable situations.



And that is the beauty of golf....lol...gotta love it



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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 09:14

Quoting Emmanuelle2010

I think this is great if this family gets along and still manage to have family time...Depends how you feel about it and how your partner takes your feelings into consideration! The best situation would be that you can be included too sometimes and get to know the ex if you feel comfortable with that! I believe the exes of people who have children together should not be a threat because then it makes life easier for everyone!


Emmanuelle, I'm not so sure family dinner is a place to get to know her ex husband. I think like it has happened to me, I got to know my ex''s new husband at events. For example, we met while watching my son play in a golf tournament, him and I walked together for 18 holes while the ex wife lagged behind, close enough to keep an eye on us, but far enough where him and I could chat without her hearing us !  LOL  To me that was a great way because if either one of us got bad we could just walk away without any uncomfortable situations.



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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 09:08

Quoting Conyersguy

Well, I believe we shouldn't judge other folks on what works for them.  But while I would be alright with special occasions, etc, I don't have a desire for 'every Sunday" and I don't think I would approve of my partner doing that.



Conguy, that was kind of my dilema. I was trying to imagine if I was the next guy to get into a relationship with her (which I'm not interested),, would that be a problem ? I think for me it would be !

 

So, I'm just wondering how difficult it's going to be for her down the road ?



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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 09:03

Quoting billzeke

I think it's great. Healthy for everyone. Couples are suppose to be FRIENDS and LOVERS. Get rid of the LOVERS part and maybe the FRIENDS part blossoms. I have been divorced for more than 10 years. I consider my EX among my most trusted friends. In retrospect we never should have married. We should have always been friends



Bill,,  Its great it worked out for you that way, Most I know haven't for one reason or another.

 

Do you think your relationship with your ex is the norm or the exception ?



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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 08:59

Quoting Theo592000

NGL....just reading all the replies here and do you realize (you Must!) how many of us women said we were jealous???  Oh my goodness you've got to like that, eh? Big Grin



Theo,, Yes, that sounds like quite a man that would do that for his wife,, not sure I would, but hey if it works for them,, awesome !

 

Oh Theo, they are just being friendly flirts.



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billzeke
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 07:17

I think it's great. Healthy for everyone. Couples are suppose to be FRIENDS and LOVERS. Get rid of the LOVERS part and maybe the FRIENDS part blossoms. I have been divorced for more than 10 years. I consider my EX among my most trusted friends. In retrospect we never should have married. We should have always been friends



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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 07:01

NGL....just reading all the replies here and do you realize (you Must!) how many of us women said we were jealous???  Oh my goodness you've got to like that, eh? Big Grin



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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 06:51

Quoting niceguylooking

I was sitting at the bar of this local pub having dinner. A woman came in and sat down right next to me. We began to talk you know the usual stuff. Then we started talking about kids, in particular teens and what a pain they can be at times !  LOL

Anyhow, to make a long story short and to get to the question. She mentioned that even though she has been legally divorced for almost 2 years, very Sunday she gets together with her ex husband and the kids (who are all in their teens) and they have family dinner.

 

So my question is, what do you guys and gals think about this situation ?



Hmmmm, I'm still sitting here trying to decide that maybe it's a good idea to walk into a pub/bar and sit down next to some guy eating dinner. Might be a good way to meet someone, eh? I'll have to admit, it kind of made me a little jealous.....the nerve.....lol ....but.....back to the subject matter.....I admire people who can do that (put your game face on while sitting next to the ex at children's functions) but I'm afraid I would not have been good at it. To me, it's like breaking up with someone and say that "I want us to remain friends"...will that be ok?...and of course everyone says "yes, I would like that" ...then off we ride into the sunset, never to speak with one another again. On another side of the coin, I met this lady who had lost her husband and had remarried. Each year at her first marriage anniversary...her present husband would take her out to dinner and celebrate that marriage. Can you believe it???  What a guy!!!  I'm wondering how many men would do that?

Cheers,

Theo



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duchesse22
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 05:48

Well I am really glad we still have you......I felt a little jaleous!  LOL



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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 05:24

Quoting Tinkerbelle

thats a very good question Ray and the answer is im not sure. I suppose it would depend on the quality of relationship I had with the man, the personalities involved, and the dynamics of THEIR relationship.  Off the top of my head my knee jerk reaction would be to say no especially to an every weekender. Kids birthdays? maybe.... My last partner had an ex. The relationship was well and truly over but the woman was older and really had no life. I was secure enough in our relationship to feel ok about them having dinner together from time to time. Actually it was my suggestion....



Deb, I'm not sure myself if I could deal with it or even would want to !  :)

 

To me its almost like dating someone who's "Currently Separated" in my mind they're "Currently Married".



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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 05:21

Quoting Curious2078

Coming from an era when people just did not get divorced unless their lives were in danger--and even then, only half the time...I'm still in "shock" over the family structures that result from divorce.  Shouldn't be....I've had plenty of years to get used to it...but at some level, still am.

On the other hand, I think if these two people can do this for their kids--sounds pretty damn good to me.  Nobody suffers more in a divorce than the children of the two people getting divorced.  I think what these two are doing is a very good thing.  Sounds like both parties are mature enough to consider their kids' needs ahead of their own needs.  And for that they are to be congratulated.  Hope I'm right.... 



Pat, I sure hope you're right.

 

But as for the kids suffering, Its always a debatable topic but my kids have said to me many times, "Dad, I like you better now" The jury is still out though about the long term affects.



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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 05:17

Quoting Lisaprendergast

They are not done! They are not done They are not Done!

Lisa



Lisa, thats the first thing that hit my mind. They may be divorced, but something is still unresolved.



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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 05:15

Quoting thenewman

I think a divorce is severencing all attachments.  It is one thing to be civil towards each other and it is another thing to have what the kids may see as a family Sunday afternoon lunch.  There is no reason to confuse the children.  Either Mom and Dad are together or they are not.  JMHO



George, I tend to agree with you. The only time I get together with my ex is at events. Unless it is an event I can't picture us having dinner together on Sundays.



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shazbot82
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 00:53

I would rather be lashed naked to a tree, spread with honey ,placed on top of an australian green-tree ant nest and eaten alive than spend 5 minutes with my childs father. And I DO mean it. Im with George, Divorce is a severing and I would be more than happy to never have to see or speak to him as long as I live. He put my daughter and I through three years of sheer hell just because the courts allowed him to. I guess I am among the minority opinion here. While some may think that is a great idea and shows maturity, I dont agree. The adults are not yet over one another and it is confusing to the children. I would not date a man with young kids anyway,,but if I did , I wouldnt want him to go play footsie with his ex wife every weekend. The kids would never accept me as long as their mom MAY have a chance of getting back together with their dad and thats what this scenario SEEMS to point to. Kids are notorious for sabotaging the " new relationships" and Im simply not going to go there. They are kids after all,,and OF COURSE they want their parents to reconcile ! I have only been willing to take back one ex in my entire life and it was because the situ that broke us up was a massive natural disaster and not another person.


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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Thu, Feb 18, 2010 23:12

Quoting niceguylooking

Deb,, thats the one of the things that ran through my mind !

 

So,, think you could handle that situation if you were in it ?



thats a very good question Ray and the answer is im not sure. I suppose it would depend on the quality of relationship I had with the man, the personalities involved, and the dynamics of THEIR relationship.  Off the top of my head my knee jerk reaction would be to say no especially to an every weekender. Kids birthdays? maybe.... My last partner had an ex. The relationship was well and truly over but the woman was older and really had no life. I was secure enough in our relationship to feel ok about them having dinner together from time to time. Actually it was my suggestion....



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