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sistercounselor
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Posted on Tue, Feb 16, 2010 06:56

A year ago today, at 40, I came to California, tired & overwhelmed. I came to help my brother. Helping him, was helping myself, & being in this environment was the change I needed. 2 busy 2 get 2 my "creamy crack" (perm/relaxer), my hair, rebelling against the old relaxer from 6 months prior, began to burst into wild, curly, free-growing ringlets and soon I realized its free way of growing was an expression of the inner beauty & liberation I'd come to embrace within my spirit. What an experience...the day I stood in front of my brother's bathroom mirror and released my tightly bound hair from a stiff rubberband. For the first time EVER I saw ME! The way God intended me to look...nappy, curly, wild-growing hair, and all! What freedom! No more "creamy crack for me!" I'm finally happy with who I am!  It took me 40 years. Have you ever had an experience which influenced you to embrace who you are? or have you always done so? If so, please share your experience....


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Ms. Swirl Girl!

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sistercounselor
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Posted on Thu, Mar 11, 2010 01:42

Quoting chawita

I'll have to check it out.


Yes, I saw Black Hair with my daughter! We LOVED it girl!!! :))


Ms. Swirl Girl!

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sistercounselor
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Posted on Thu, Mar 11, 2010 01:40

Quoting GentlyWoman

Sister, I LOVE your post!!  Silly as it may sound, the grass is ALWAYS greener.  My own hair is very straight, silky, and I could not have, with any amount of process, the "wild" you have naturally.  Twenty seconds in the environment, wind, damp, whatever, and it's flat.  We are different, and I love our differences.  I have always admired the natural curls of a black woman's hair, yet accept and enjoy also how my hair grows. Never forget that curly perms are the same price for me as straighteners are for you!
 

 

Ok, caveat: I will only say this is true when women take care and pride in their appearance, I've also seen the extremely dry, split-end frizzball, which can look as nasty as long straight fine hair that's an uncared for mange of stringy straw that needed to be trimmed ten years ago.

 

I made a decision, on my 30th birthday, because I thought (then) that I was headed "downhill".  When not at work or some event, I would be makeup-free, with air-dried hair, in t-shirt and jeans or sweats.  It was a process: comfort with myself, acceptance for what and how I am, honor for the package I was given.  Sometimes, I am bra-less for long periods of time, and, believe it or not, I'll go grocery shopping this way.  TMI, I'm sure, but I put it out there to say I, for one, identify with you, and see that you don't just ACCEPT reluctantly your hair, but you are HONORING what God gave you on purpose.  That is a journey that starts with breaking a thought process, or in your case, addiction to creamy crack :) 



Gurrrl, I'm soooo glad you can relate! :) Oh, I just started going bra-less and its sooo liberating! But um, at 41, my "girls" sag so I don't do it often. LOL! Yes ma'am, I am indeed honoring what God gave me on purpose! I'm glad you are there too! Doesn't it feel divine?!! :)) I lol'ed when you said your curly perms cost the same as my creamy crack. I guess as a natural curly girl, I never even considered how some of my sisters have to pay as much money to curl their hair. Girl, I LOVE our differences and how much we can learn to step out of our own world as egocentric beings, and appreciate one another! Thank you so much for your comment!


Ms. Swirl Girl!

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GentlyWoman
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Posted on Tue, Mar 09, 2010 15:53

Sister, I LOVE your post!!  Silly as it may sound, the grass is ALWAYS greener.  My own hair is very straight, silky, and I could not have, with any amount of process, the "wild" you have naturally.  Twenty seconds in the environment, wind, damp, whatever, and it's flat.  We are different, and I love our differences.  I have always admired the natural curls of a black woman's hair, yet accept and enjoy also how my hair grows. Never forget that curly perms are the same price for me as straighteners are for you!
 

 

Ok, caveat: I will only say this is true when women take care and pride in their appearance, I've also seen the extremely dry, split-end frizzball, which can look as nasty as long straight fine hair that's an uncared for mange of stringy straw that needed to be trimmed ten years ago.

 

I made a decision, on my 30th birthday, because I thought (then) that I was headed "downhill".  When not at work or some event, I would be makeup-free, with air-dried hair, in t-shirt and jeans or sweats.  It was a process: comfort with myself, acceptance for what and how I am, honor for the package I was given.  Sometimes, I am bra-less for long periods of time, and, believe it or not, I'll go grocery shopping this way.  TMI, I'm sure, but I put it out there to say I, for one, identify with you, and see that you don't just ACCEPT reluctantly your hair, but you are HONORING what God gave you on purpose.  That is a journey that starts with breaking a thought process, or in your case, addiction to creamy crack :) 



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sistercounselor
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Posted on Sat, Mar 06, 2010 12:55

Quoting chawita

Creamy crack? Whahahahaha, that's too funny! I never heard that before. I, too, am a former addict. I started rehab gradually by first losing the curlers and blow dryers, then slowly realized that the "creamy crack" was slowly ruining my hair. I can now proudly say I've been completely "crack" free since 2005 and I'm loving it, especially the wash and go part. I love your spirit girl!


Thank you sister! You too! Yes, girl, the wash and go is awesome!!!! I think I'm totally "clean" now! Hee hee! I used to go without my creamy crack for a while and then relapse! Bahahaha! Girl, you gotta see Chris Rocks's film, "good hair." He talks about black women and our hair. It was ensightful. Its like a documentary and I enjoyed it. :)


Ms. Swirl Girl!

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CDinCO
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Posted on Wed, Feb 17, 2010 13:24

It's what you make of yourself on the inside that matters...  You can lose your looks and hang onto your spirit.



Courtney :)

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sistercounselor
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Posted on Wed, Feb 17, 2010 08:53

Quoting Tinkerbelle

hey Ms Swirl! looks like youve had an epiphany!! You know what? If it works for you then great, hair straight or curly it doesnt matter as long as you like what you see and are comfortable with it.

Natural is beautiful but so can that be which has been crafted.... and boy have i been crafted! I was going to say theres nothing natural about me lol but im not sure how that will read

CG dont even mention no waxing... its not a road i want to go down. I live in a hair free zone except that on my head



Amen, I agree! Whatever makes us happy!!! I'm cracking up at "and boy have I been crafted!" LOL! You're hilarious. But I maintain that you look FABULOUS!!! And you seem extremely happy with who you are. You are my She-roe!



Ms. Swirl Girl!

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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Wed, Feb 17, 2010 00:02

hey Ms Swirl! looks like youve had an epiphany!! You know what? If it works for you then great, hair straight or curly it doesnt matter as long as you like what you see and are comfortable with it.

Natural is beautiful but so can that be which has been crafted.... and boy have i been crafted! I was going to say theres nothing natural about me lol but im not sure how that will read

CG dont even mention no waxing... its not a road i want to go down. I live in a hair free zone except that on my head



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sistercounselor
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Posted on Tue, Feb 16, 2010 22:26

Quoting DONTFITMOLD

Swirl....You could be bald and still not lose a hair of your spirit... uh uh uh... hands on hips bobbing...lol LY  



LOL! I love you, Moldy!!!!! Thanks buddy! You are so funny. I'm hollering at, "hands on hips bobbing" what you know about that? LOL!



Ms. Swirl Girl!

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DONTFITMOLD Recommended
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 Chat now 
Posted on Tue, Feb 16, 2010 22:15

Quoting sistercounselor

A year ago today, at 40, I came to California, tired & overwhelmed. I came to help my brother. Helping him, was helping myself, & being in this environment was the change I needed. 2 busy 2 get 2 my "creamy crack" (perm/relaxer), my hair, rebelling against the old relaxer from 6 months prior, began to burst into wild, curly, free-growing ringlets and soon I realized its free way of growing was an expression of the inner beauty & liberation I'd come to embrace within my spirit. What an experience...the day I stood in front of my brother's bathroom mirror and released my tightly bound hair from a stiff rubberband. For the first time EVER I saw ME! The way God intended me to look...nappy, curly, wild-growing hair, and all! What freedom! No more "creamy crack for me!" I'm finally happy with who I am!  It took me 40 years. Have you ever had an experience which influenced you to embrace who you are? or have you always done so? If so, please share your experience....



Swirl....You could be bald and still not lose a hair of your spirit... uh uh uh... hands on hips bobbing...lol LY  



D ( @ )( @ )

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sistercounselor
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Posted on Tue, Feb 16, 2010 14:51

Quoting Conyersguy

I love the tight 'fro, Sister. :):)  

 

But we all bend to Society's whims of appearances.  

 

And I'm not saying I want us to quit.  From shaving one's underarms and legs by the women, to shaving our faces (or at least parts, in my case) by the men.   I personally cannot imagine a more barbaric ritual than to take a razor sharp edge, and SCRAPE the hair from our most tender skin !!!!!!  Who in the hell came up with this idea? !!!!  Our FACES, for goodness sakes !!!!  But, we accept it as the standard.   And we expect women to shave their legs and underarms.  Again, where in the  hell did we come up with this one?  

 

Now, me, I'm glad women do shave those two spots, because I have become conditioned to prefer it, too.  And I know most women are glad men shave their faces, too.  (They couldn't ALL be lying when they say that's why they won't go out with me.):):):) 

 

Past those conventions, yes, you have the hair relaxation of our A-A sistren, the complete shaving by many of our younger generations, the tatooing of some, the body sculpting of others, the attention to 'fashions' by many.     So many of our civilization (??) bend themselves to the preferences of those we seek to impress.    You find relief in ceasing one such convention.  Good for you.  But, we ALL still do it. :):):)



I'm versatile though! If my man, wherever he is and whomever he may be, prefers my hair straight, I will flat iron it straight for him as long as he can compromise & let me wear it curly a few days a month!!! LOL



Ms. Swirl Girl!

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sistercounselor
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Posted on Tue, Feb 16, 2010 14:49

Quoting Conyersguy

I love the tight 'fro, Sister. :):)  

 

But we all bend to Society's whims of appearances.  

 

And I'm not saying I want us to quit.  From shaving one's underarms and legs by the women, to shaving our faces (or at least parts, in my case) by the men.   I personally cannot imagine a more barbaric ritual than to take a razor sharp edge, and SCRAPE the hair from our most tender skin !!!!!!  Who in the hell came up with this idea? !!!!  Our FACES, for goodness sakes !!!!  But, we accept it as the standard.   And we expect women to shave their legs and underarms.  Again, where in the  hell did we come up with this one?  

 

Now, me, I'm glad women do shave those two spots, because I have become conditioned to prefer it, too.  And I know most women are glad men shave their faces, too.  (They couldn't ALL be lying when they say that's why they won't go out with me.):):):) 

 

Past those conventions, yes, you have the hair relaxation of our A-A sistren, the complete shaving by many of our younger generations, the tatooing of some, the body sculpting of others, the attention to 'fashions' by many.     So many of our civilization (??) bend themselves to the preferences of those we seek to impress.    You find relief in ceasing one such convention.  Good for you.  But, we ALL still do it. :):):)



True True, oh so TRUE, CG!!!! At some point, we ALL conform to Society's whims! For example, I MUST shave my underarms and legs or else I feel like a BEAR! And Lord, I'll have a caniption fit (spelling?) and be all up in a tissy, if I don't get my eyebrows waxed every other week!

Oh, thank you, my Dear, for the complement. :) For now, as a full time grad student, and part time Life Coach, I can pull it off...wearing my curly fro! However, if it stands in the way of me earning money, once I launch my business full-time, guess who will have to bend? Not my clients, unless I don't wanna EAT. Lol! Oh, I pray they love me and accept me for being me. Hey, the good thing is I can straighten my hair with a straightening comb or flat irons by day, and then wear the curly fro, by night. Hey, I just thought of that!!! Super! But no more "creamy crack" for me. The relaxers change our hair texture and burns our scalp and edges. Yikes!!!! Loved your comments. Thanks so much for the LOVE & Support. :))



Ms. Swirl Girl!

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sistercounselor
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Posted on Tue, Feb 16, 2010 14:43

Quoting Arizona53

I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting your very best foot forward for all the world to see. As I have aged however, the less work I have to do the better, so I have taken some small steps to curtail all the work involved in getting that foot to shine! Though I draw the line at anything more permanent than hair removal...CG....I believe it is now available for men too....LOL! I don't have my make up tatooed on or anything quite so dramatic or invasive.

I salute you as you accept your gifts and let them shine or curl or whatever....LOL.



Lol! Amen sister! I feel you, the less work, the better!!! Girl, with my natural hair, I can just wash n GO! But um, that may change if it becomes a problem in the workplace. If I wanna eat, I'd betta play by the rules. But until them, I feel so liberated! Yaaay me! Lol!



Ms. Swirl Girl!

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Arizona53
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Posted on Tue, Feb 16, 2010 13:35

I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting your very best foot forward for all the world to see. As I have aged however, the less work I have to do the better, so I have taken some small steps to curtail all the work involved in getting that foot to shine! Though I draw the line at anything more permanent than hair removal...CG....I believe it is now available for men too....LOL! I don't have my make up tatooed on or anything quite so dramatic or invasive.

I salute you as you accept your gifts and let them shine or curl or whatever....LOL.



"The best way to predict the future....Is to create it."

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NGL2011
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Posted on Tue, Feb 16, 2010 11:58

Amen Sister !



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sistercounselor
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Posted on Tue, Feb 16, 2010 07:02

My hair is INDEED an expression of myself and who I am. If I could give her a nickname, it would be LIBERTY, or better yet, FREEDOM because that's how she grows...wild and free. Free from the constraints of the "creamy crack"; free from society's definition of beauty; free from my own past self-loathing. That liberty is the freedom I feel in my soul and spirit...free from man's thoughts of how I should live my life; free to do what GOD wills 4 me to do; free from the constraints of man's ruthless control, as I express who I AM, who God wants me to be and my God-given talents.I embrace this liberty, both in my hair and in my spirt. And I continune to SOAR! 2day, I celebrate myself! I LOVE ME!

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Ms. Swirl Girl!

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