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NGL2011
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Posted on Thu, Jan 28, 2010 09:12

I found this clip reading through Marianne Williamsons new book, I found it very interesting and insightful.

 

The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife

The need for change as we get older¿an emotional pressure for one phase of our lives to transition into another¿is a human phenomenon, neither male nor female. There simply comes a time in our lives¿not fundamentally different from the way puberty separates childhood from adulthood¿when it¿s time for one part of ourselves to die and for something new to be born.

The purpose of this book is to psychologically and spiritually reframe this transition so that it leads to a wonderful sense of joy and awakening.

In our ability to rethink our lives lies our greatest power to change them. What we have called ¿middle age¿ need not be seen as a turning point toward death. It can be viewed as a magical turning point toward life as we¿ve never known it, if we allow ourselves the power of an independent imagination¿thought-forms that don¿t flow in a perfunctory manner from ancient assumptions merely handed down to us, but rather flower into new archetypal images of a humanity just getting started at 45 or 50.

What we¿ve learned by that time, from both our failures as well as our successes, tends to have humbled us into purity. When we were young, we had energy but we were clueless about what to do with it. Today, we have less energy, perhaps, but we have far more understanding of what each breath of life is for. And now at last, we have a destiny to fulfill¿not a destiny of a life that¿s simply over, but rather a destiny of a life that is finally truly lived.

Midlife is not a crisis; it¿s a time of rebirth. It¿s not a time to accept your death; it¿s a time to accept your life¿and to finally, truly live it, as you and you alone know deep in your heart it was meant to be lived.

OK, so what ya think ?



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Fonika
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Posted on Sat, Jan 30, 2010 16:24

Okay all you guys, I think you only have a midlife crisis if you are married and have children. I have children but raised them on my own, so was a dating mother. That kept me young and kept me in the loop. Now I am a dating grandmother and that also keeps me young and in the loop. So dont think the midlife thing will ever hit me and I never gave up my life to raise the kids. The kids got raised and I had a life and am still having one. ha ha


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shazbot82
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Posted on Sat, Jan 30, 2010 03:49

lol..not ALL of them NGL,,,but many exotic and wonderful adventures There are dozens of things I want to try..and I DO want to drive down to the Keys this year, too. Rebirth is a nice term. Renovation is what I do. Very similar.


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CDinCO
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Posted on Fri, Jan 29, 2010 12:01

Quoting niceguylooking

Shaz, Thats great that you were able to do all the things you wanted to do.

I agree with the part about raising a family, but some who panic might look at it like a crisis,,if their calm and rational,, I like the term "Rebirth" of your own life.



Then there are those of us who have never had a clock installed...  I still tell myself to "do it while I'm young."  But that may be in anticipation of years of "going for it" and realizing I may not be able to walk upon retirement : ) 

Time is a number, so is age.  If you act the part, you will live the part.  Change is good and no matter how hard we fight it or adjust to it, it's vital for happiness and health.  Don't change who you are but how you think, or act, or play.  Never allow your life to be in "crisis" or it will escape you.  Don't just take care of NOW, take care of always!

I cannot relate to those of you who are parents or want to become parents.  I admire the work and all the sacrifices you all have made.   Again, never had a clock, never been a desire of mine.  Even if you are at the point in your life where they are #1, take time for yourself in the moment, plan for tomorrow, plan further into your future.  Don't let it pass you by...  ever!!!! Life IS short, and you don't know what you have until it's gone and you can't get it back...  Youth is funny like that...  Live each day as though it were your last...  You never know if it will be! 



Courtney :)

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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Jan 29, 2010 10:08

Quoting boldnsexy

NGL, maybe you could call me every night and read me a chapter??? That's almost as sexy as having a guy paint my toenails, I seriously mean that. Okay, okay, before I get on your bad side, she is one of my favorite authors and I would have to agree that we are at that place in our lives where the best is (or can be)right in front of us. I'm not so sure I'd use the word "rebirth" but perhaps to finally live it as we never have been able to before. Everything we have experienced up to this point has prepared us for who we are and what we want.


Elaine,, now how in the world could you get on my bad side. ;)

 

I really do like the term "Rebirth" because thats actually what it feels like to me. Other than dealing with a few minor issues, I have never had more energy, never felt better physically, really never been in a better place in my life,, so it feels really good.

 

The problem I think is, its sometimes hard for people to recognize it and appreciate it.



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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Jan 29, 2010 10:01

Quoting candeee

when you realize your having a crisis..sit back relax enjoy the ride..be stree free;0)



I'm having a crisis sweet as Candee, but it has nothing to do with life,, its all in my head !  LOL



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NGL2011
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Posted on Fri, Jan 29, 2010 09:59

Quoting shazbot82

I have often wondered WHY there is this perceived supposed " mid-life- crisis" I havent felt that way yet and I am about to be 53. Maybe I dont feel any pressure is because I have taken the time out to go do things that I wanted to. " Waiting until retirement " to go travel, or indulge in favorite pastimes always seemed like a rather stupid choice..life is unpredictable,, LIVE it NOW ! For some people who havent done much besides work and raise a family most of their lives, perhaps "mid-life" is like being let out of a cage.... you see the time you have used up and am anxious not to let the rest slip by. Often , that causes over-reactions and the classic " crisis" Living NOW and taking advantage of opportunity when it arises is crucial to long term happiness. Dont wait.....the CLOCK IS ticking !


Shaz, Thats great that you were able to do all the things you wanted to do.

I agree with the part about raising a family, but some who panic might look at it like a crisis,,if their calm and rational,, I like the term "Rebirth" of your own life.



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DONTFITMOLD
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Posted on Fri, Jan 29, 2010 09:22

If it was between Venus and Mars it would be at least closer to here??? lol matter of spacial travel.. now wouldnt it?...lol......danger!!!! Will Robinson

D



D ( @ )( @ )

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CDinCO
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Posted on Fri, Jan 29, 2010 09:17

Quoting DONTFITMOLD

today if it wasn't for the Quotes my "men o pause" comment would be somewhere between the moon and mars.....thanks folks .......SOS (same ol' stuff)...lolo

D



Shouldn't that be Venus and Mars???

 

(considering the audience, you understand)



Courtney :)

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shazbot82
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Posted on Fri, Jan 29, 2010 08:37

,,,,,,ummm,,,i like having my toenails painted, too....... its very..." stimulating"


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DONTFITMOLD
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Posted on Fri, Jan 29, 2010 08:23

today if it wasn't for the Quotes my "men o pause" comment would be somewhere between the moon and mars.....thanks folks .......SOS (same ol' stuff)...lolo

D



D ( @ )( @ )

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duchesse22
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Posted on Fri, Jan 29, 2010 02:35

That is an interesting article, with lots to explore......enjoy life as it is.  the up and downs of it.  you learn no matter the age.  Age has no boundary to what you can do.  Be happy, LOL



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Posted on Thu, Jan 28, 2010 20:12

when you realize your having a crisis..sit back relax enjoy the ride..be stree free;0)



Candy...;)

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sweet_magnolia
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Posted on Thu, Jan 28, 2010 20:00

Quoting DONTFITMOLD

A personal story here for you young folks

 

When I was turning 50 I had heard there was a thing called "Men o Pause". The solutions in my case were one of three

!. I could buy a penis shaped Corvette to flaunt my masculinity

2. Get myself a mistress to flaunt both of them at

3. Fulfill my life long desire to learn to fly......after all the ratings up to CFI .....would have cheaper to have gotten ! and 2.....but the love of flying doesnt wear out or leave you.....lolololol

D

 



NLG - I have not ventured into phase 4 yet....but I am sure I will...more like non-invasive procedures.

 

Oh Yes, I am so vain. LOL, LOL, LOL



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NGL2011
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Posted on Thu, Jan 28, 2010 19:16

Quoting sweet_magnolia

Skip the crisis. Ignore the numbers. Head directly for the Fountain of Youth!

 

Exercise, nutrition, prayer, plastic surgery. 



Sweet Mags, I agreed up to the last one,, the surgery,, nah,, aint going to happen.



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NGL2011
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Posted on Thu, Jan 28, 2010 19:14

Quoting DONTFITMOLD

A personal story here for you young folks

 

When I was turning 50 I had heard there was a thing called "Men o Pause". The solutions in my case were one of three

!. I could buy a penis shaped Corvette to flaunt my masculinity

2. Get myself a mistress to flaunt both of them at

3. Fulfill my life long desire to learn to fly......after all the ratings up to CFI .....would have cheaper to have gotten ! and 2.....but the love of flying doesnt wear out or leave you.....lolololol

D

 



Dman, that is so awesome,, you are my Hero man ! seriously that is so cool.



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NGL2011
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Posted on Thu, Jan 28, 2010 19:12

Quoting CDinCO

SM, that was a GREAT movie!!!!  Not just the obvious eye candy, but the whole schematic and messages built in...  brilliant!!!  Guys, it's not really a "chick flick," the guy I went with liked it too! 

Anyhow, as candee pointed out, live, love, laugh, that has been my motto since the first time I heard the phrase!  I say that a LOT!  NGL, I am interested in reading more so I think I'll have to order that book *unless you'd like to mail/loan it to me when you're finished?*

 

"Midlife is not a crisis; it¿s a time of rebirth. It¿s not a time to accept your death; it¿s a time to accept your life¿and to finally, truly live it, as you and you alone know deep in your heart it was meant to be lived." 

I did this the day I turned 40.  I saw pictures of myself and 50 of my friends and family at my birthday bash and thought...  who IS that????  It was like a reawakening, the "rebirth" of sorts as NGL mentioned.   But, I was not willing to "accept it" the way it stood at the time (July, 2009).  Here I was 40, and had accomplished only that which I set out to do in my youth and NOTHING I set out to do in my adulthood, and had nobody in my life to get/share wherever it was I wanted to go...  So, I sat down and figured it all out very carefully and methodically...  I have since accepted another motto of "live each day as though it were your last!!!"  It's amazing what difference a few short months can do...  I'm back in school, studying what is now my ambition in life, I've lost 25 lbs, I surround myself with friends and family as much as they will allow, I give to others as much as I am able, I'm here meeting new and wonderful/insightful/caring people, I've taken ahold of many health issues I had, I'm happier, and have a spring in my step that I haven't experienced for a very long time!

There are still things that I would like to have... don't we always?  But, I do believe I am truly living it, as I, and I alone, know deep in my heart it was meant to be lived." 

Thanks for sharing this~~~

 



Courtney, Thanks for the great reply. I would be more than happy to send you my copy,, you might have to overlook the yellow highlighted parts !  LOL

Such a habit I have when I read !  LOL private email me your address, I'll hook you up.  ;)



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sweet_magnolia
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Posted on Thu, Jan 28, 2010 19:01

Skip the crisis. Ignore the numbers. Head directly for the Fountain of Youth!

 

Exercise, nutrition, prayer, plastic surgery. 



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watching
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Posted on Thu, Jan 28, 2010 14:30

Hi: I agree. When we (women) are young we spend all our time setting up a home and raising children and then they are gone. You look around and think, where is my life. You have none, not counting work and the usual things. Every breathing moment has been for the husband and children and their comfort. NOW is the time to wake up and live. I started travelling for the first time in my life and have loved every minute of it. My first trip I was afraid I might get my throat cut or such so I started thinking of finding a travel partner, (male) to protect me. I could not find any one who just wanted to travel without the sex so I went on my own and was only home a few weeks when I decided to go to Egypt on my own. I will admit that if I had had a husband and lover with me it would have been heaven but I get by.


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CDinCO
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Posted on Thu, Jan 28, 2010 12:36

SM, that was a GREAT movie!!!!  Not just the obvious eye candy, but the whole schematic and messages built in...  brilliant!!!  Guys, it's not really a "chick flick," the guy I went with liked it too! 

Anyhow, as candee pointed out, live, love, laugh, that has been my motto since the first time I heard the phrase!  I say that a LOT!  NGL, I am interested in reading more so I think I'll have to order that book *unless you'd like to mail/loan it to me when you're finished?*

 

"Midlife is not a crisis; it¿s a time of rebirth. It¿s not a time to accept your death; it¿s a time to accept your life¿and to finally, truly live it, as you and you alone know deep in your heart it was meant to be lived." 

I did this the day I turned 40.  I saw pictures of myself and 50 of my friends and family at my birthday bash and thought...  who IS that????  It was like a reawakening, the "rebirth" of sorts as NGL mentioned.   But, I was not willing to "accept it" the way it stood at the time (July, 2009).  Here I was 40, and had accomplished only that which I set out to do in my youth and NOTHING I set out to do in my adulthood, and had nobody in my life to get/share wherever it was I wanted to go...  So, I sat down and figured it all out very carefully and methodically...  I have since accepted another motto of "live each day as though it were your last!!!"  It's amazing what difference a few short months can do...  I'm back in school, studying what is now my ambition in life, I've lost 25 lbs, I surround myself with friends and family as much as they will allow, I give to others as much as I am able, I'm here meeting new and wonderful/insightful/caring people, I've taken ahold of many health issues I had, I'm happier, and have a spring in my step that I haven't experienced for a very long time!

There are still things that I would like to have... don't we always?  But, I do believe I am truly living it, as I, and I alone, know deep in my heart it was meant to be lived." 

Thanks for sharing this~~~

 



Courtney :)

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