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What women REALLY want: Part 1 Sort by:
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Rihanna
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Posted on Fri, Oct 30, 2009 16:22

Men and women are loaded with DNA programmed for living and mating in an ancient world very different than today's world. This old DNA causes men and women to behave today in ways greatly influenced by their ancestors. Many men are very competitive and seek high status in order to control resources and get sex. Most of today's men use their brain or brawn to accomplish things that demonstrate their superiority in some field or task. They are still striving to prove themselves as the greatest hunter today. Interestingly, it is common practice for a dating man to take his woman to an expensive restaurant. An abundance of food given to the woman unconsciously demonstrates what a great hunter and provider he is! That is meant to impress her with his high status so she will give him what he really wants, and it is not food he wants! This still is largely true: "Men trade food for sex and women trade sex for food." Women want a close relationship with a man before mating with him. For women, relationship-building is generally a part of every activity with everyone. Women build relationships by freely talking about their daily trivia and troubles. "I will tell you about my life and troubles, and you may tell me about yours so that we can be really close." This unconsciously reassures them they have a good relationship, and are safe and will survive. When a woman tries to build a relationship with a man by talking about her personal life and problems, men don't understand what is happening. Men hear women's problems as a request for help, so men respond with solutions to the women's problems. When a man offers his recommended solution, the woman often feels as if he is trying to diminish her problem or cut her off. Women do not see a relationship developing with the man who wants to "fix her problems." Women don't want to be fixed, and feel like they are broken or defective. They want to be heard and form a close relationship! What a woman needs before opening up completely to a man is a feeling of security and better chances for survival. In her mind (i.e. DNA programming) this is best achieved through a close relationship with a high status male. Unfortunately most men don't understand women doing relationship building and women don't understand men doing status building. Society has decided the bigger the bank account,the higher the status in society = more women,attraktiv women.The higher the bank account the more we are attracted to you and this is a fact.However men tend to suppose that women,irrespective of age,will fall in love with them for the sake of mankind.Something like "love your neighbour....".This is wrong.We say,"He has big balls" meaning his account is large. Security in form of money leads women to give up a whole life and restart.Whereas men want women to pass on their DNA in form of children. Men want a size zero,a fantasy that awakens to life in the form of models.So what do we do,we starve ourselves to death,BUT the harder we starve the more expensive it becomes for the opposite sex. It is a give and take.


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Rihanna
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Posted on Tue, Jul 16, 2013 14:40

Hi Dears,

I haven't viewed my blog since many many years.Hope you all found what you were searching for.Thank you for contributing.Busy reading :-).



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Rihanna
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Posted on Sun, May 02, 2010 11:48

Hello Dears, ExcessEnergy asked me to post the following comment on my blog: Hi, Rhianna, Provocative blog, which makes sense, in view of from whom it comes. Taking it from the top, if a woman describes herself as any of the following, she's unemployed or underemployed and starkly in need of rescue: "self-employed, writer, artist, consultant or other." Yes, there are the (very) rare commercially successful and recognized artists and writers on dating sites, but we could hold a convention of them all in my living room with seating still open. And if we added the successful consultants to the party, there'd still be more furniture than people. And, yes, if you want to stay closer to the center of your comfort zone and you have an MD, PhD, JD, MBA, et al., you will probably seek the same on dating sites. However, that is not necessarily the sine qua non of a successful relationship. People's personality, character, emotional intelligence, creativity, humor, sensuality, reliability and just a good heart can carry things a lot further than whether they've been vetted by some graduate school. As the senior executive character in a Cary Grant comedy once said to Grant's character as both watched in awe as Marilyn Monroe sashayed out of the office, "Well, ANYONE can type!" Ever so. There are things that cannot be taught in grad school that usually prove to be far more important than certified intellectual horsepower. There are, after all, a lot of men and women out there whose horsepower is every bit as prodigious but whom circumstances directed them around having it certified by some university. Bill Gates and St eve Jobs come to mind. Having said all of that, I'm still more comfortable dating someone with multiple degrees than not, just as I'm more comfortable dating someone with money they've earned than not; both are a demonstration of competence that is reassuring in a potential partner. The point is well taken on grammar, with the exception of those who come to the site from another country for whom English is not their first language. If any Anglo-American (a native citizen of any of the Echelon countries) uses improper grammar, that's something of a red flag for incompatibility across a wider array of facets of the relationship. However, in the case of those for whom English came lately, one should in fairness be prepared to give them a little slack, if their foreign cultural background is not itself a barrier to achieving a satisfying and enduring communion (which it can be for some people). "I'm too sexy." (Sigh!) Well, the proof is in the pudding and not in the typing. I rather admire the self-confidence of a woman who describes herself so forthrightly (accompanied by my earnest hope that she is not self-deluded [as so many are in this regard]), while agreeing that this is one of those self-bestowed accolades that would better go unmentioned, as it smacks of a lack of cultivation, rather like those who assert (often repeatedly) that they are "classy" (another attribute best left to demonstration rather than assertion). "I'm a great catch," etc. - It's a fine balance in a profile to put forth some enticing description of some of one's particulars without seeming to have succumbed to narcissism. The balance is perhaps best struck by laying out the facts and leaving the conclusions to be drawn by those who see the profile. After all, if a woman is drop dead gorgeous, she hardly needs to belabor the fact in writing, but might want to be at some pains to elaborate upon how intellectually agile, emotionally available, good humored and socially approachable she is, since those important aspects may not come across in the pictures, just as someone with lots of degrees and heaps of success may want to counterbalance the potential intimidation by demonstrating their good humor and sense of humility. The best courtroom lawyers never tell the jury what to conclude, but only emphasize what evidence they should consider in reaching their decision. So it should be in profiles. "Arrogant people" - this is one of those phrases which is a red flag all by itself for those of us who feel that we have proven ourselves past peradventure and have accumulated at least a respectable record of achievement and success. A sense of perspective and humility on some level is always desirable, but those who are so sensitive about others' high opinion of themselves are probably wrestling with personal problems of a dimension best avoided. As the original author wrote, "Warning, Will Robinson!" And you shouldn't need a robot to tell you when you run across this phrase. "I want to meet a man who knows how to treat a lady." This sentence (virtually ubiquitous in women's profiles on all sites) always makes me wonder who in the hell the woman had been dating and how she was treated up to the point where she drafted her profile. It raises the question as to whether her discernment in men is sub par, compelling her to slap that demand right on the table in the apprehension that she would otherwise be treated poorly. Alternatively, it suggests, as the original author wrote, that she expects to be treated to extraordinary luxury as the price of her continued interest. One would think that anyone worth a damn would treat a woman he was dating as if she were lady, subject to her evidencing the contrary. This is another of those stated requirements that would be best left implicit; stating them explicitly strikes a dissonant note in what might otherwise be a symphonic masterpiece of personal exposition (although it is more often the case than not that if even one of the above offending phrases is present, the others are statistically more likely to follow in the same profile . . . alas!). "Family oriented man," etc. - one can only be grateful for the woman to place her cards on the table in such a forthright fashion. If she tells you or displays in photos that she has a passel of offspring from one or more marriages or liasons, that is something you will want seriously to weigh in deciding to pursue her versus others lacking that feature, as the original author noted. There is really nothing wrong with a woman stating her expectations of what features a successful union would entail and if pre-existing kids are present, it is right for her to make it clear that she expects you to be appreciatively involved and is not willing to send her little darlings to boarding school. On balance, I think that this is a good thing for the woman (or a man, for that matter) to make very clear so that the potential date/mate knows exactly what is in store if things go from rock and roll to walking down the aisle. Many a relationship has foundered on a lack of shared assump tions in this regard. As for your own set of inferences, the following come to mind: "Men wanting an independent woman" - I've been told often enough that this has been code for exactly what you describe. However, mention of the desire for independence need not mean that at all. I am sure that many men write it with the thought that they want women who demonstrate a capability to cope on their own and who will not be so needy and clingy as to make one yearn for the days of singlehood. Not everyone who states a desire for a woman to have a capacity for independence is cheap or a hit and run artist. Independence can be a very positive trait. Speaking for myself only, I admire it in a woman, but have never suggested that woman pay for anything where I was involved. Quod erat demonstrandum. "Compassionate woman" - well, after all, what would be a wrong with a woman who attended to all our needs whenever we requested it? Just kidding. Anyone who expects that better keep his mother alive, well and neurotic. But some women's (and men's) capacity for compassion is truly limited and some of them recognize it (they actually will tell you that they are PROUD of not being very compassionate or empathetic, as they think it evidences a clear vision and grasp of reality, devoid of the delusions of emotional fantasy); it is perhaps best to warn them in advance that this fierce refusal to succumb to compassion, while admirable to some, will not be well received by the profile writer. Personally, I prefer a woman who errs on the side of empathy and compassion and am not shy about saying so. After all, what are we to be for one another if not the last respite in times when compassion and empathy are the only balm for wounds endured? If we cannot offer that to each other, what else may we not expect and what virtues are we to find in our union besides mere convenience? "good catch" - supra - again, it's a fine balance between laying out one's positive traits while not seeming terminally self-absorbed. These profiles are, after all, an advertisement for oneself, and always risk overstatement of the positive. A man or woman need not consider themselves the ne plus ultra of their gender while summarizing that they are a good catch or whatever. Still, as noted above, it is probably best to lay out the evidence and leave the conclusion to the reader's discretion. Putting all of this another way, and speaking only as a man reading women's profiles, it works like this: What grabs our attention is the pictures. If the pictures are not enticing, the profile doesn't get read, not even glanced at . . . period. If the pictures are enticing, then the profile is read to see if the person is literate, reasonably intelligent, humorous and mentally well (on the plus side) and does not disqualify herself by some display of permanent anger toward men, woeful ignorance, coarse sensibilities, financial neediness or avariciousness, high school education or worse, tattoos (which may not have appeared in the pictures - you'd be surprised!), piercings, or revelation through explicit statement or choice of language of some other fatal incompatibility in world view (such as coming from Russia, for instance). Thus, if the pictures are smokin' an


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LYRICALSOUL
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Posted on Thu, Nov 05, 2009 22:37

LOL--I love this--this is so logically put--lol!


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Posted on Sun, Nov 01, 2009 09:11

Here's the prologue to the article found at the .org known as what women want, for those of you who might be interested.... A Quick History Lesson About Men, Status, and Relationships Approximately 250,000 years ago our species (i.e. Homo Sapiens. Means "wise humans.") lived in nomadic bands of 20 to 30 hunters and gatherers. They had evolved into what are now called "modern humans" who walked erect on two legs, made tools, and used language. They were a hardy and horny species. Daily life was a struggle through ice ages and among wild predatory animals. The lessons they learned about survival and mating in their difficult environment were passed on to their children. Successful traits repeated over time became imbedded in their DNA. By about 30,000 years ago, our ancestors had greatly increased in number and had evolved in body and brain very close to the physical likeness we are today. Very few physical changes have occurred in human bodies and brains over the past 30,000 years. (Some women complain that some men's behaviors have not improved much since then either!) The truth is, we are still using a body and brain design that is approximately 30,000 years old! This body is designed primarily to mainly just survive and breed to produce children with our similar DNA. Furthermore, the physical design is optimized for an outdoor environment very different from how most people live and work today! Men are stuck using a poorly designed body for living and working in today's world. No wonder women normally live longer than men by about half a decade! Why Men and Women Evolved Differently The primary reason for the differences between men and women today is due to how their ancestors lived and survived in the past. Ancient men were the hunters who concentrated on ways to effectively stalk, kill and transport home the catch-of-the-day for the family group or tribe. Hunting was serious business and required creativity, cleverness, patience, and physical endurance. However, it did not require much talking or interaction with other men at a personal level. Men did not develop the personal communication and relationship skills that women did. Life for men back then couldn't get much better than having easy hunting and a woman or two to roll around in the rocks with after a meal. Somehow babies appeared. Didn't take long to figure out that the ones with penises could be trained to do the hunting so the old men could retire and spend more time rolling in the rocks with the least hairy and softest of their species. Success for a man back then was evident mostly in how well he survived as a hunter. Good hunters were very important for the group's survival. The best hunters were greatly respected and valued and that earned them the power to control the group. This rewarding position at the top of the group came with valuable privileges. In the ancient past, achieving high status as a great hunter and provider for the group got a man the best of what was available in the group. That usually meant he had first choice of food, comfort, and the women for as much sex as he wanted. That was the best life a man could hope for in those bleak times. (Sounds pretty good even today!) Therefore, men competed for the rewarding position at the top of their group hierarchy. Of course most of the men had to settle for some lesser level in the group hierarchy. However, everyday provided new opportunities to raise one's status, so men became very competitive. Today's men still compete to achieve status and try to raise to the top of whichever groups are important in their daily life. This male drive for superiority is usually all too evident in groups of family, friends, neighborhoods, and on the job. However, today's men cannot easily prove that they are the best hunter of mastodons or whatever. Instead, many of today's men try to show their high status by succeeding in a career, displaying expensive possessions, or just bragging, exaggerating, and lying. These ancient characteristics in men are programmed in the deep old part of men's brain. Fortunately, the newer outer layers of the brain are adapted to learning so most men today learn to be socialized. Well socialized men display the major characteristics that are valued in their culture today. However, the ancient drives for survival, dominance, and breeding can become evident in violent ways in some men who get drunk or who disregard their socialization training. A Quick History Lesson About Women, Relationships, and Sex In ancient times while the men were away on the daily hunt, the women tended the children and worked in groups for safety while gathering seeds, roots, berries, and nuts. These daily activities helped women develop a high skill for spreading their attention among several activities and people all at once. They talked much of the time while doing their chores and improved their relationships within the group of women. It was very important for a woman to be accepted by the other women in the group for her continued survival. For thousands of generations, a key skill learned by each woman living in communal groups was how to get along with the other female members. Women learned to cooperate rather than compete like the men did. Equal and harmonious relationships within the group was the best way for women to survive in those hard times. Today's modern women still place a high priority on maintaining good relationships, even though it is not necessary to insure their survival.


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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Sat, Oct 31, 2009 05:35

Hey Rihanna!

¿

Welcome to the blogs, is this your article?¿ Great info!

¿



What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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