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Because Everyone In Canada Lives In An Igloo Sort by:
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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Thu, Apr 30, 2009 14:22

I received this in an email today and it made me laugh so thought I'd share!

¿

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?( England )

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.


Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.


Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.


Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.


Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )

A: What, did your last slave die?


Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.


Q:Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.


Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ?( England )

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do
.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.


Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )

A: No, WE don't stink.


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ?( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.


Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )

A: Yes, gay nightclubs
.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )

A: Only at Thanksgiving.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.


Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.


¿



What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Sun, Jun 07, 2009 17:40

hehehe. I like the humor you are showing. It is good to see your funny side. People can get so serious here. And that is OK but sometimes I just need to stop being so serious and have a little bit of fun... So while I am here, I will try not to get too serious. By the way, I heard a rumor that the men in Canada find it soooo hot up there in the summer that they have all started wearing these...seems the flap keeps them cooler.


People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Sun, Jun 07, 2009 07:35

Hi ricktigre,

¿

Looks like you're new to to the blogs, but I WILL figure out who you are lol!¿ My "sense" of humour serves me well.

¿

Hey Queen!

¿

Yep it sure made me chuckle, glad you liked it too.¿ I love your little messages you've posted this time back.

¿

Hey Sarah!

¿

Those are pretty funny too, it's amazing to me how sheltered some in our world can be.¿ I used to kill myself laughing at the Jay Leno show when he'd go out and live interview people in the streets.¿ He'd ask very simple questions that most would know, but good lord some of the answers people gave were just ridiculous!



What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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MissMonteCarlo
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Posted on Sat, Jun 06, 2009 06:13

This also reminds me of a story my uncle told me whilst on a cruise. My aunty and uncle stay in cape town south Africa. They met this American couple on their cruise and went to the quiz night together. So one of the questions was: How many nostrils does an elephant have? The American couple had no clue and because my uncle lives in South Africa were like- omg you should know this! My uncle was like yeah of course- but thinking so should you dumbass. lol sarah :-)


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MissMonteCarlo
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Posted on Sat, Jun 06, 2009 06:05

Lol- we have a similar sort of problem in Scotland. 1) What time does the one o ' clock gun go off at in Edinburgh? 2) Is that France over there? 3) Do they speak English in Scotland? 4) Do you know .... MacLeod etc? 5) Is your hair ginger? 6) Is a haggis a small furry creature? 7) Do you wear traditional clothing? 8) Do you play the bagpipes? 9)Do you live in a thatched cottage? 10) Rangers or Celtic? 11) Have you seen braveheart? 12) Is it ever sunny in Scotland? sarah :-)


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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Fri, Jun 05, 2009 21:29

LOL! This is soooooo funny. I have spent many hours traveling across Cananda. Great people, but too many QE Highways. In fact, Cananda was the reason that I purchased my first GPS. Why they do not have sign that point to th USA prots I will never understand... Jeepers...Whoops, I mean aah. This sign would never be posted in Canada. They are not known for all the mentally unstable people that we havein the USA.

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People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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ricktigre
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Posted on Sun, May 31, 2009 07:47

I sincerely hope y'all avoid wearing those cheesy triangular hats so famous south of the border,ie. Milwaukee, but your sence of humour probably can give and take anything, no?

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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Mon, May 11, 2009 10:35

Quoting irocas:

C'mon Ready... You know that the ones with droppings go to North Dakota. That's what it's there for.


Hey irocas,

¿

Dare I ask?¿ What do you have against North Dakota?

¿



What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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shazbot82
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Posted on Sun, May 10, 2009 23:55

PS..Irocas,,in Cally, here on the Pacific Flyway..we drive to the parking lots of the lakes where they haul out at night to rest on the warm pavement...remove the cutout in the cars underside,,and nab the geese one by one. they make a mighty good pizza...if you slice them thinly enough


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shazbot82
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Posted on Sun, May 10, 2009 23:01

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR i like your country. They obviously know its impossible to fight stupidity. lmao.


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Posted on Fri, May 08, 2009 04:01

Quoting READY4UNOW:

Is that with or without droppings?



C'mon Ready... You know that the ones with droppings go to North Dakota. That's what it's there for.


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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Thu, May 07, 2009 14:56

Quoting irocas:

Maybe you could train them to make pizza. We'd be grateful!


Is that with or without droppings?



What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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Posted on Wed, May 06, 2009 15:36

Quoting READY4UNOW:

Hey irocas!

?

We trained them well lol!? They migrate to escape our cold winters too.

?



Maybe you could train them to make pizza. We'd be grateful!


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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Mon, May 04, 2009 06:22

Quoting irocas:

Yeah, you guys are real smart. What's with your geese? All they seem to do is fly south and crap all over our golf courses. Hey Canada.. we're not a toilet for your geese.


Hey irocas!

¿

We trained them well lol!¿ They migrate to escape our cold winters too.

¿


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What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Mon, May 04, 2009 06:18

Hey Everyone!

¿

Glad you found it humourous, laughter is always a good thing!

¿



What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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Posted on Sun, May 03, 2009 07:16

Yeah, you guys are real smart. What's with your geese? All they seem to do is fly south and crap all over our golf courses. Hey Canada.. we're not a toilet for your geese.


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serenity10
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Posted on Sat, May 02, 2009 09:41

Very funny!¿ Thanks for the laugh.¿ :0



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Brittany2012
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Posted on Fri, May 01, 2009 13:14

Hey Ready!

This is toooooooo cute.¿ Thanks for making me laugh today.¿

TGIF!



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Thu, Apr 30, 2009 23:47

Lol Ready we all know you Canadians are savages¿ . These are obviously very intelligent individuals here as everybody knows Canada is practically third world ....or was it fourth world I never can remember lolololol



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Larsen1971
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Posted on Thu, Apr 30, 2009 22:38

this is absolutely funny! thanks for sharing


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