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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Sat, Jan 03, 2009 12:49

Well bloggers im continuing my series on love and relationships.

In todays metropolitan world I ask this question.

is it time to settle for what you can get rather then holding out for what you want? Does anybody get it all?

We all have our own criterior for what we want and what will make us happy but are we being realistic? Im talking about people of my own age not you spring chickens here. Men and women of a certain age. Those of us who as we say in the vernacular have been round the block so to speak. Those of us who maybe have been married or who have high expectations of what we want. Are we asking for the unattainable? placing the bar too high? Is it a given that as you get older your choices become more limited so the need for compromise is greater?

I look at my situation. Im looking for someone quite special. Does he exist? Is he real? am I asking for too much? My last foray into love was a disaster. So im now asking myself all these questions. Are there any answers bloggers? Do you hold out for what you want accepting that you may never find that special person, or do you settle??

What do you think?



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Posted on Sat, Mar 14, 2009 10:04

My answer...Impossible to settle! At the age I am now, I have realized all the times I thought I was in love I was sooo silly. From each relationship I have learned a lot about me and what I need and want. My story of TRUE LOVE is long and complicated...but believe me when I say that I had my true love...SOULMATE. Once you've had that...it is impossible to settle. My question is...can you have two soulmates in this lifetime?


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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Fri, Jan 23, 2009 10:37

I couldnt agree with you more G . I have realised that as I have got older and have had more life experiences, each one leaving a stain on my being, the barre is definitely being raised higher.

Am I being unrealistic in my dreams? For sure, but compromise is often necessary , I realise that  BUt and it is a big but......... It just depends on what those compromises are.



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Tue, Jan 20, 2009 00:43

4 Ws ive booked them an appointment with the eye doctor. after all who could resist you??? ..... I cant..... now where did i leave the¿seeing dog?



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wwww12345
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Posted on Mon, Jan 19, 2009 14:04

Well I will "settle". If I wrote down a list of every requirement that I think would be great in a partner, I would still be writing next week. One needs to be practical and have a little common sense when looking for a mate. And, btw, no matter how great we think we are, there are always people that think we are not. Unfortunately that absolutely great hunk or hottie also has a list of requirements and we may not fit their list at all. Having said that, I still don't understand why Hallie Berry, Salma Hayek, Julia Roberts, Stephanie Seymour, and Shania Twain aren't beating my door down. Don't they have a brain??? Heck, I would settle for just one of them, not even all of them. lolololol


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shazbot82
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Posted on Sat, Jan 17, 2009 11:26

The different phases of our lives requires different elements for satisfaction. Above that, are our needs for enjoyment and happiness. If one happens to accept less than they could have ,in order to enjoy some unusal facet..say maybe the man isn't good at forever but hes good for pleasure now...under certain circumstances I can see that as a viable strategy. All our human interactions, regardless of ties, constitue " relationships" Its not far fetched to claim a " relationship" with such people as the friendly and helpful postal clerk I visit for my postal business. One could strive to attain fruitful and plesantly enjoyable "relationships" with all sorts. Only those involved can say if they " settled" or not.


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frances12
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Posted on Fri, Jan 09, 2009 21:55

Hi Tink, I think if you settle for less then you want you will end up with less then your have settle for. We all over look the small things we can live but the important things I think we need to be happy. Good Luck


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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Thu, Jan 08, 2009 10:53

Tay, I dont feel the need to do¿ anything really. Im just writing blogs asking questions thats all.

¿

Thank you for your interest though



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Sunnybella
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Posted on Thu, Jan 08, 2009 09:57

Quoting: Originally posted by Tinkerbelle

Interesting comments Tay but im sorry to disappoint you but these blogs are just generally asking questions of our community here on love¿and as such are general.

I was inspired actually by revisiting some old sex in the city episodes recently and they got me to asking questions.

I thank you for your concern though



Tink, LOL. SATC Episodes could have us posting blogs for ages. She did make some interesting points in her columns.


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Sunnybella
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Posted on Wed, Jan 07, 2009 14:23

Quoting: Originally posted by Tinkerbelle

Well Tay when you put it like that youve got a point



Tink, Have you tried to figure out why you feel the need to have a man to the point you are asking yourself if you should settle? Is it society that says you should be with someone? friends? Family? Are you seeing many moments of love between happy patners that is making you want the same thing? Are you telling yourself that your clock is ticking? Are you lonely and want something great right now to cure the lonely blues? Are you in a place in your heart and life where you are ready to share all, and depend on anothr for moments of passion and love? Are you ready to shed your selfish single lifestyle and share equally, half of everything you have and half of everything someone else has? From your latest blogs, you seem like your in a rut with wanting love to enter your life. That's awesome if you've come to that point. Give yourself 20 minutes to think about what brought you here. It may shed light on how you really feel. Tay


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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Wed, Jan 07, 2009 10:43

Well Tay when you put it like that youve got a point



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Wed, Jan 07, 2009 10:42

Blue Eyes How lovely to see you!!!!

Hes cute and he looks like a keeper. Is he??



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Sunnybella
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Posted on Tue, Jan 06, 2009 21:41

Quoting: Originally posted by Tinkerbelle

You make a very valid point Tay. Im not sure theres a difference between on and offline if not all the boxes are ticked. If youve tried online and off and you just cant find a partner who meets all your criteria, would you settle for someone who is just about there??



I considered settling once. (for several months) but in the end, if it's not there, it's not there. I'm one of those breeds who knows what I have to offer. And I know it's great. So settling to me would be like saying, "Ahh, maybe I'm just not worth the best." Not gonna happen!


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Sunnybella
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Posted on Tue, Jan 06, 2009 21:39

Something to consider Tink, If you settle then you are forever living a life of sorta. Sorta in love Sorta great sex Sorta miss him Sorta like his habits Sorta wish I had something better Sorta wish he would... Sorta miss that one guy from long ago Sorta wish he were... Sorta wish he said.... Sorta wish I hadn't settled


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Posted on Tue, Jan 06, 2009 01:28

Never.........I have 10 toes.



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Tue, Jan 06, 2009 00:29

Bloginamillion Excellent

This is exactly what ive been saying



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Tue, Jan 06, 2009 00:26

Post script

The other thing is this. The older we get, the more life and relationship experiences we have the longer the list of required criterior is, which in turn makes it allmost impossible for another to match up to.

It is my feeling that our requirements have to be split into two columns.

First the essentials. Those qualities we absolutely cannot live without Honour , integrity et al

Second those qualities or wishes that can be a little flexible like location ethnicity etc which although are not Ideal can¿¿be accepted

It is my strong feeling that many of us are isolating ourselves by imposing unreasonable and impossible conditions on another human being



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Tue, Jan 06, 2009 00:19

you got it 4 Ws you got it



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Tue, Jan 06, 2009 00:17

You make a very valid point Tay. Im not sure theres a difference between on and offline if not all the boxes are ticked. If youve tried online and off and you just cant find a partner who meets all your criteria, would you settle for someone who is just about there??



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Tue, Jan 06, 2009 00:13

ok No trouble I understand thresholds are good but thats just my point. What if you cant find anybody to meet them? what if some are met and others arent>do you settle for less?



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